Classroom Affair - Chapter 26:After-boom
She felt something press against her leg. Her eyes shot open, cold shock crashing over her in waves. She hadn’t ever seen a man that way before and as his arms pulled her tightly into his chest, his mouth tasting her skin, Shannon didn’t feel like a warrior anymore, she felt like a scared little girl.
“I can’t!” She cried.
He frozen the progression of his hands and pulled back. “You can’t what?”
“I can’t have sex with you! I’m not ready.” Tears fell down her face and suddenly he understood completely.
Making sure he spoke softly and moved slowly, Mr. Thompson cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “We aren’t going to do anything you’re not ready for. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
She shook in his grasp, body overloaded from sensation. He held her close to himself, stroking her wet hair. “It’s all right… shhh.”
“I’m sorry.” She pulled away from him, grabbing her muddied clothes and quickly dressing herself, before he grabbed her wrist.
“Don’t go, Shannon, please.”
She shook her head, “I can’t…I just can’t…”
With that, she burst out of the shed and ran through the rain, till she reached the safety of her room. When she closed the door, Iris sat up in bed, completely awake. “Shannon? What time is it?”
When she didn’t answer, the pixie flicked on the light and saw the dirty mess shaking in front of her. “What happened? You’re filthy.”
“Iris. I’m in trouble.” Shannon choked out through the lump in her throat.
Two trails of mascara stained sadness melted down her fair face, only to fall on her thoroughly muddied clothes.
Iris leapt out of bed, but moved slowly towards her, almost afraid to shatter her already fragile friend. “What happened to you?”
Shannon’s voice was lost in tears, as she broke down and fell into her best friend’s arms, the tiny girl barely catching her. “I’ve messed it up. I’ve messed everything up!”
Iris reached up to the bed and pulled off her blanket to wrap around them both, while she stroked Shannon’s damp hair. “Hey, it will be ok…no matter what it is. We’ll get through it together, like we always have. It’s ok.”
Shannon clutched Iris’s forearm, her sobs crashing like rolling thunder, shaking her already frozen form, though it had nothing to do with the cold. It was all too much, everything that made Shannon herself, was falling apart at the seams.
“Tell me what happened. Why are you so upset? Who hurt you?” Iris’s voice took on a protective edge, which made Shannon’s heart ache a little more. She didn’t know how if it were physically possible with the way it was shattered; she was shattered.
Her eyes closed tight, as the words which for so long begged to be released, came out in quick gulps. She explained everything that had happened in the past year; all the meetings and kisses and whispered things in the dark.
Iris didn’t say anything, listening quietly, occasionally squeezing her friend, while Shannon spilled out all the hurt and desire she felt for the man they both knew was off limits.
“I can’t stay away from him, Iris. I’ve tried and I can’t. He’s all I think about, all I dream about and it’s killing me. It’s like I’m being torn into two different people and I can’t seem to fix myself. I hate it! I hate that it’s so hard and that he can hurt me so much. I hate that he showed any interest in me in the first place. I hate that he’s married. I hate that I feel like a whore when I’m with him. And most of all, I hate that even now, when I’m so miserable and hurt, all I want is for him to walk through the door and tell me that I’m beautiful and….and….”
“And that he loves you.” Iris finished, releasing a gasp from Shannon at the words.
Her eyes widened, when her friend pressed. “Is that what you wanted from him? Do you love him, Shannon?”
The question struck her deeply. Did she love him? Is that what love was? All this time was that exactly what she wanted to hear from his beautiful lips?
Her heart panged. “I don’t know. I just don’t know anything anymore.”
There was a stillness in the air, as Shannon’s breath continued to sniffle and catch, while Iris looked out the window at the storm.
~~~
Chris stood frozen in the tool shed, fresh nail-marks leaving red strands down his toned back.
He reached to adjust his glasses only to discover that he had indeed lost them outside with the crazed groping between he and Shannon.
His blue eyes closed, as he relived the image of her supple breasts, so impossibly soft, but firm at the same time.
She was complete perfection. It was then that the image switched from that wonderful chest to the look of fear in her beautiful face.
She was afraid, he made her afraid.
“Damn it!” He yelled and threw out one hand, striking the side of the shack harshly.
Bolts of pain trickled up and down his arm, in a way providing a small form of relief that only lasted for a few seconds, before the look in her eyes haunted him again.
What had he done? Even though nothing of what they had done was right, he never hated himself so much, as he did that moment.
His eyes closed as he cradled his hand to his naked chest.
He would have to somehow apologize to her later. Though he knew if he were alone with her, the same thing would happen over and over.
They were stuck in a vicious, lustful cycle, which he saw no end to.
Chris sighed, turning his gaze up to the roof of the tool shed. “Listen, I’m not really a praying kind of guy and I know that I’m probably the last person You want to help, but give me something. I’m desperate right now. Give me a sign or something, I will take anything! If I’m supposed to stay away from Shannon, let me know somehow.”
Silence.
He sighed and flexed his hand out a few times. “Yeah…I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.”
Chris stopped and reached into his pants, hoping maybe it was Shannon and she would give him a chance to explain, but when he brought the phone to his ear, an equally familiar voice answered. “Hi Chris, how’s the concert going?”
“Julie. Isn’t it a little late to be calling?” He flicked his eyes down to see his watch blink out ten thirty at night.
Her voice sounded distant. “Perhaps, I didn’t know there was curfew to speak to my husband. Am I interrupting something?”
He looked around the shed, thoroughly disgusted with himself. “Of course not, I was just surprised that’s all. How are you?”
He could hear her legs uncrossing and crossing again on the bed, an action she did when she was nervous. It wasn’t often he saw that side of her, usually Julie was so in control of everything in her life.
She cleared her throat, before finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I’m pregnant Chris. I found out a few days ago, but have been waiting to tell you that you are going to be a father.”
His eyes widened, all his muscles going stiff. Was it his? Of course, it was, Julie wasn’t the cheater here.
He thought back to the last time they’d attempted intercourse and the math did make sense. It was her birthday and he felt it right to try and make it enjoyable for her, though the end result wasn’t what he’d called a “good time.”
More like they had dinner, a few drinks and tried to rekindle old flames to no avail. How could something that un-passionate be enough to make a baby?
“Chris? Are you there? I thought you’d be happy, you were so devastated when we… well when the past happened.”
She almost sounded nervous, a fact Chris got the barest amount of satisfaction from. For once she didn’t have all the answers.
He cleared his throat, trying to regain his wits. “Of course, I’m happy, I’m just a little in shock. That’s all.”
She chuckled softly and he could imagine her chocolate eyes closing with the relief she felt.
“Listen, Chris, I know we’ve had our problems lately and that we haven’t been exactly on fire for one another. But, if we are going to bring a life into the world, do you think we could try? To be like we were in college? I miss that.”
Her voice sounded so unsure, pleading in a way and it made his heart flutter a bit.
His eyes searched the darkness for an answer, when he noticed the cross necklace Shannon constantly wore flickering softly, with the light from his phone. It must have fallen off when they were holding each other.
He reached down and gently picked it up, balancing the delicate gem in his fingers and wondered if there was any way he could feel more disgusting than he already did. “Of course. I would like nothing more than that.”
There was an audible sigh on the other end of the receiver and he could see her smile. “Okay, well, I’ll let you get sleep. Good luck at the concert tomorrow. See you soon.”
“Thanks, good night.”
“Oh, Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
He felt his heart sink, as he clutched the necklace firmly in his hand. “I love you too.”
He waited until he heard the dial tone before falling to his knees and letting out a few tears himself.
He wasn’t one to cry easily, but the hurt and shock he felt was overwhelming. Chris felt his chest shudder, as he lifted the delicate necklace to his eyes and looked to it miserably. “I’m sorry Shannon, I’m so sorry.”