Close to You - Chapter 101
Silence, endless silence. Since getting in the car, embarrassment and speechlessness have spread between them. Lorraine is far from being that sensitive, and if he were sensitive, he would not have survived seven years ago.
He thinks he has a big heart, but he is not big enough to be in such a private environment in a car with his ex who has been away for many years, and he can still be leisurely and content.
What’s more, they have only met again for less than two days and know nothing about each other.
It doesn’t count, Yu Han knows his job, he knows Yu Han’s phone number and he has a child. It’s not that they don’t know anything, it’s just that between them… I really don’t know what topics to talk about.
After a while, Lorraine Yuan held back the first sentence of the awkward chat: “You have a nice car.”
Yu Han turned on the music, and it was okay to reply. Lorraine was far from speechless, and the sound of music flowed quietly between them.
Most of the playlist is light music, piano music, so Lorraine can’t help but expect to hear that song. But no, a song has passed, and he still hasn’t waited for a starry sky.
His home is not far from the painting garden, about half an hour’s drive away. Even in embarrassment, he always wanted to stay with Yu Han for longer.
The smell of Yu Han was in the car, and he slowly wrapped him. He smelled an ambiguous breath from it, but he was afraid that he would think too much.
The relationship at that time, he thought it was heart-piercing and unforgettable to this day, but he dared not speculate whether the other party was the same as himself.
It’s probably not the same, otherwise there would be no Yu Yuan.
From the moment he chose to break up, he and Yu Han were on different paths.
Lin Shu once said to him that no matter how strong the feelings are, they can be smoothed out by time. Like a wound, it always heals. How can there be so many fairy tales in the human world? Going around, it turns out that you are still here.
In fact, what Lin Shu said is not wrong. When he stayed in the United States for the second year, he thought that his heartbreak would never get better, but as time passed, it gradually covered with a thin scab. The more time passed, the thicker the scab was, so thick that he thought that his heart had returned to its original state.
He has a box of sketchbooks, all of which are Yu Han. From sketching in front of photos to copying, and then to dictation, the first sketchbook was wet with tears, and it was full of potholes.
Later, he learned not to cry.
As the years passed, he remembered Yu Han less and less. After graduation, he followed Lin Shu’s arrangement, entered the gallery, and saw more things and more people.
He thought his heart was gradually calming down, or rather, numb, he mistakenly thought he was healed.
Until he passed a street performer on a snowy night, carrying a drawing tool on his back, the familiar tune reached his ears, and the starry sky played by the guitar was like a sharp blade, piercing the The thick scab in his heart.
At that moment, the past swept out, and fresh blood gushed out from the wound that never healed. Holding the painting tool, he couldn’t help crying like a child on the street.
It turned out that the missing never stopped, but he thought that if he stopped thinking, it would not hurt.
So he recklessly returned to the country, but at the moment when he really landed in City C, he was shocked by the changes in City C. He returned to the third middle school, only to find that the third middle school had already been renamed and merged.
Things are so, so are people.
It’s his choice, and who can blame him.
, and hope.
Now it seems that he guessed it quite accurately.
Yu Han came out earlier than he thought, he was happy and sad. Missing someone is too hard, he doesn’t want Yu Han to be bitter. It is also sad that in this relationship, he is the only one left to stay in place, drawing the ground as a prison, and I don’t know when the ban will be lifted.
And Yu Han already had other fetters, such as this child, and the mother of the child.
He is on the right track.
Lorraine Yuan’s full of melancholy was aroused by light music, and he couldn’t calm down for a long time. He needed a starry sky to stabilize it.
Nothing in the starry sky, Yu Han asked several times, but he didn’t answer.
The car stopped at the red light, Yu Han turned off the music and called his name: “Lorraine far!”
Lorraine Yuan was awakened, and stuffed the melancholy back into his stomach, but unfortunately his eyes couldn’t hide, revealing a little. He avoided his eyes: “What’s wrong?”
Yu Han said, “Apart from these, do you have anything else to ask?”
Luo Linyuan cheered up and found a topic to talk about: “What work are you doing now?”
Yu Han: “Software development.”
Luo Linyuan was surprised: “Does C have this major?”
The green light, Yu Han turned to look at the road: “I didn’t study C major.”
These words aroused endless curiosity in Lorraine Yuan. He seemed to vaguely remember that Guan Shuofeng inherited the family business and was engaged in a chain mall, and had nothing to do with software development.
Guan Shuofeng forced him and Yu Han like that, why did Yu Han still not change his surname in the end, and even his work has nothing to do with Guan Shuofeng?
He fell into deep thought, but Yu Han couldn’t bear the silence any longer: “What else?”
Lorraine Yuan said blankly: “What else?”
Yu Han said in a calm tone, as if in a calm voice: “About me, do you have anything else you want to know.”
Lorraine Yuan: “Then… is grandma okay?”
Yu Han didn’t answer right away, Luo Linyuan’s heart twitched. Yu Han said, “She passed away.”
Lorraine said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect…”
Yu Han: “It’s okay.”
At this time, the community where Lorraine lived was getting closer and closer, and the two fell silent at the same time. Yu Han didn’t want to speak, but Luo Lin Yuan didn’t dare to speak.
The car slowly stopped and pulled over. Luo Linyuan unfastened his seat belt, and at the same time he heard the sound of the handbrake being pulled and turning off, Yu Han said, “I’ll see you off.”
Luo Linyuan: “It’s okay, it’s enough for you to take me to the gate of the community.”
Yu Han: “Aren’t you afraid of the dark?”
In those days, Luo Lin Yuan was out of the gate of a community, and Yu Han had to send it away, because he was afraid of the dark and because of night blindness.
Lorraine was far from refusing, he got out of the car, the night wind blew over, and it was so cold that he forgot to put on his coat, and he couldn’t help shivering.
It was so dark, Yu Han also noticed: “Wait.” He unlocked the car, opened the door, and took out a thin coat from the back seat, the color was very light, it didn’t look like Yu Han’s clothing.
Yu Han handed it to him: “Put it on.”
Lorraine was far from refusing, and took over to get dressed. When he was busy in the past, he always felt that his home was too far and too long from the gate of the community. I went with Yu Han today, but I felt it was too short, why did it arrive in a while.
Arriving downstairs in the unit, Lorraine stopped and said reluctantly, “I’m here,” he pointed to one of the buildings, “I live here on the eleventh floor.”
? Yu Han glanced at the building and said yes, Lorraine Yuan was a little confused, what’s the matter, can’t Yu Han still come as a guest?
Yu Han repeated the sentence for the third time tonight, he said, “About me, do you have anything else you want to know.”
Lorraine was silent for a while in the dark: “I want to know, will you tell me?”
Yu Han: “Yeah.”
Lorraine Yuan: “Why?”
Yu Han did not answer.
Luo Linyuan suddenly smiled and said: “Yu Han, you already have your own life. You have children, and you are living well now.”
Yu Han’s voice was suppressed, Luo Linyuan couldn’t see his expression clearly, Yu Han said: “Then you don’t want to ask about the child, or the child’s mother…”
Lorraine interrupted him: “I don’t want to know!” The jealousy in his heart almost grew sharp thorns, and it was hard enough just to suppress it.
Lorraine felt bitterness from the root of his tongue, he said: “In the end, it has nothing to do with me.” It is not the life he participated in, and there is no way to participate, so it does not matter.
He heard Yu Han say, “It has nothing to do with you…”
Luo Lin Yuan clenched the corner of his coat tightly, Yu Han’s breathing became heavier and heavier, but at a certain moment, he took it all back, together with those strange feelings, and Luo Lin Yuan had noticed Ambiguous together, disappeared in the air cleanly.
Yu Han said, “Goodbye then, Lorraine is far away.”
Luo Linyuan suddenly understood why Yu Han’s expression was like this when he said goodbye.
The word goodbye is really ugly. Dirty and harsh.
His heartbeat went from slow to fast. Although the lights in the community were not bright, they were not dim either. Even if he is night blind, he can see the road clearly, so why should someone send him.
He is no longer the arrogant young master Luo, and does not need any help.
In the painting garden, from big to small, he helped to copy, and he even knew how to decorate. Hanging pictures on the wall, dismantling furniture.
Someone’s dog barked and turned the lights on. At the same time, it was his vision that was clear. What he saw was Yu Han’s retreating back.
He couldn’t help the hot eyes, as if the strength he had learned was forgotten. Yu Han became his shallow teardrop, and a single poke would bring tears to his eyes.
He chased after a few steps and raised his voice: “Are you coming tomorrow?”
Yu Han stopped, neither speaking nor looking back.
Lorraine Yuan softened his tone, mixed with an inaudible vibrato: “Come on.”
Lorraine Yuan: “Don’t come because you hate me.”
Do you hate me?
I love you, I love you.