Couldn’t Hide the Feelings - Chapter 38

Maybe it was because of what happened today.

That night, Jacob had a dream.

In the dream, he received an admission letter from South Star University and dreamt that a week before the report, his mother Mary gave him the money he was prepared to go to college and was robbed by those so-called “creditors”.

He dreamt about that night.

The family house has long been sold.

They rented a house with one bedroom and one living room. His mother lived in the bedroom, while he slept in the living room.

Jacob found many part-time jobs during the summer vacation and came home late every day.

That day, when he got home, he heard Mary on the phone.

She was on the phone with her uncle, a relative who gave her a lot of help.

The phone was in the living room.

Jacob saw Mary on the phone and said hello to his uncle. Then she smiled and said slowly, “Brother, Jac has been admitted to Nanwu University.”

After saying this, she fell silent and seemed to find it difficult to speak.

But all the words she wanted to say seemed to come out of this sentence.

‘South Star University, what a good university.

My son was admitted to such a good university.

But I have no money.

I didn’t keep the money he earned by working in order to go to college.

I want him to go to school.’

“Can you please lend me thousands of dollars?”

The next moment, the uncle’s abuse was heard on the phone.

The quality of the handset was not good, and his voice was noisy. As soon as he spoke, the voice spread all over the living room, “How dare you! What obligation do I have to help you? I have kids to raise, too! I want to live, too! F*ck off!”

Jacob immediately went over, took the phone in her hand, and hung up.

The room quieted down.

Mary paused for a long time, suddenly covered her eyes, and cried loudly, “Mom is sorry to you …”

Before junior high school, Jacob was never short of money.

So he never felt how important money was.

But when real problems come down.

It was only then that he knew that money could make a great difference to a person in just a few years.

Jacob looked at the former bright and confident mother, gradually overwhelmed by these things, and became cowardly and inferiority complex.

Also under the influence of these things, she became seriously ill and grew old rapidly.

Then, Jacob saw.

At that time, as a young adult, he crouched in front of Mary and looked up at her.

He smiled and said to her, “Mom, do you believe me? I can earn all this money back in the future. “…”

“You don’t have to borrow money from others anymore. I will make my own money, and I will support you.”

The boy said gently, “I can make you go back to the good old days.”

“…”

So.

–Could you wait a little longer?

Jacob woke up from the dream.

It was still dark and the room was dark.

Losing his sleepiness, he got up and went out of the room to the living room, getting a glass of water, then took two ice cubes from the refrigerator and threw them in.

It was just after three o’clock in the morning.

Jacob stood at the dinner table, picked up his cell phone, and glanced at it.

He noticed that Mike was going crazy in the group.

Mike: [Guys!]

Mike: [I AM GETTING MARRIED!!!]

Mike: [hahahahahahah]

Mike: [She said YES!!!]

With a string of memes.

Mike: [I’m too excited. I can’t sleep. I must come up and tell you!]

Mike: [are you all asleep?]

Jacob replied with a word: [no.]

The next moment, the cell phone rang and Mike gave him a call.

Jacob picked up his eyebrows, took the glass, went back to the sofa, sat down, and picked it up.

“Jac, why are you still up? You don’t have a sex life.”

Jacob chuckled and said slowly, “Gotta go.”

“…”

Mike said, “Wait, wait. I haven’t said anything yet! Do you know how I proposed? Isn’t it New year’s Eve today… ”

Jacob leaned back in his chair and listened silently.

After a while, Mike finished sharing his achievements, but his excitement continued unabated, “How about that? Impressive, right? ”

“Yeah.”

“What the hell, man? Talk to me.”

“Hmm? Maybe it’s because you’re getting married. ”

Jacob said carelessly, “I’m a little sad. Didn’t you say you wanted to be with me before?”

“…”

Mike said, “Can you stop? I was drunk.”

Jacob stopped joking and said with a smile, “All right, congratulations, dude. Happy for you.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

The soon-to-be-married man immediately entered the state of matchmaker and said with a smile, “Did you go on the blind date you said last time?”

Jacob said lazily. “How many people have you told about this?”

“No, how can you never find a girlfriend?”

Mike said, “Why don’t you come back? Many girls in our school like you. I’ll arrange a blind date for you. ”

“Give me a break,” Jacob said with a low smile.

“If I have your face, I will f*cking change girlfriends every day.”

“Aren’t you afraid your wife-to-be will hear you?”

“She is not here.”

Mike said, “I’m serious. You can’t even have one you like.”

Jacob made a hum.

Mike was surprised, “Do you have a crush on anyone?”

Hearing him, Jacob was silent.

It was like acquiescence. Mike immediately said, “F*ck, you do, don’t you?”

“…”

“Who is it?”

Jacob told a lie, “You don’t know her. She is quite young.”

“How young?”

Mike said, “Not born?”

“Of course not.” he said with a laugh.

“I won’t talk about it as an underage. If you don’t dare to chase when she is an adult, I’ll look down on you.”

“Are you done with excitement? It’s time to go to bed. ”

Jacob did not intend to talk about this topic, faintly saying, “Married man.”

“You haven’t finished yet!”

“Bedtime.”

Jacob hung up the phone.

Then he drank the water in his hand, went to the TV cabinet, picked up the picture with Ashley, went back to his room, and put it on the nightstand.

Jacob stared at the photo for a few seconds.

‘No matter how I look at her, she still looks like kiddo.

What was I thinking?

It must be that I’ve been single for too long.’

Jacob sighed, tapped with his fingertips, and spit out three words slowly as if reminding himself.

“Kiddo.”

Ashley thought that tonight’s Jacob was a little strange, and she remembered later that she was a little worried about whether she had made something wrong.

But she felt that if he had known her mind, his reaction would not have been like that.

After New Year’s Day, thinking of this matter again, Ashley asked Jacob on Whatsapp if the woman had gone to him again, and was relieved to hear his negative answer.

She stopped worrying about it and concentrated on preparing for the exam.

The exam ended on the 20th.

Ashley booked a flight at noon on the 21st in advance, planning to take a taxi that day, and then took an airport bus nearby.

She was the first to go home of her dormitory.

The four agreed in advance that before everyone went home, they would go out together one night.

So after leaving the examination room, the four of them did not go back to the dormitory and went directly to a Japanese restaurant outside the campus for dinner.

After dinner, Lily suggested, “There’s a new bar nearby. Why don’t we go and play?”

Sophie winked, “Can I bring my boyfriend?”

Lily, “Sure.”

Vivian, “Then I will ask my male god to join me!”

There were several bars nearby. Most of the customers were students and they occasionally bumped into a few acquaintances.

There was also a shop owned by a former graduate.

Ashley went there with someone from the department once, so she had no problem with it.

Lily, “Hey, Vi, did you get him?”

“Almost.”

Vivian typed with her mobile phone and said with a smile, “I feel as if he had the same meaning and told me to take a ride home together.”

Ashley took a sip of water.

“Well, in fact, I have a crush on a man in that bar, the one who plays the guitar.”

Holding her cheek, Lily said hesitantly, “I feel that women can chase men as long as they are not ugly.”

Hearing this, Ashley stopped drinking water.

Speaking of which, Lily looked at her face through her mobile phone screen and said, “If I go pursue him, I should be able to get him, right? I think I’m pretty. ”

The other two booed.

Ashley picked up the chopsticks and ate the last sushi on the plate.

Sophie turned her head, noticed that she had been silent, and subconsciously asked, “Hey, Ash, are you in a bad mood? Why don’t you say anything? ”

“No.”

Ashley regained her mind and laughed. “I’m listening to you.”

Probably because it just opened, there were not many people in this bar, and it was not as noisy as Ashley imagined.

Sophie called her boyfriend over.

Then her boyfriend invited Alex.

The others were almost in pairs, and naturally, Alex sat next to Ashley.

Ashley has not spoken to him face to face. She didn’t take the initiative to speak.

Alex was clear and handsome, with single eyelids and a three-dimensional face.

Thin and tall, smiling brightly, like a big sunny boy.

The crowd began to roll the dice.

Ashley didn’t know how to play, so she didn’t participate at all and was playing with her cell phone by herself.

She was in an inexplicably bad mood. She didn’t say much all night but drank the wine in front of her.

The color of this wine was beautiful, the taste was a little strong, and it was a little sweet.

Ashley thought it tasted a little strange and didn’t suit her taste, but she didn’t want to waste it when she ordered it, so she could only drink it reluctantly.

Alex stopped playing and leaned over to talk to her.

He pointed to the wine in front of her and warned, “This wine is very strong. Can you drink it?”

“Really?”

Ashley paused and touched her face. “Then I quit.”

Ashley brought another cup and said, “You can drink this.”

Ashley felt a little dizzy. She shook her head and whispered, “It’s all right, I’m good.”

Alex did not force her, “Do you want some water?”

“No, thank you.”

Ashley looked around to ask Lily if she wanted to go back to the dormitory with her.

The next moment, the cell phone she held in her hand suddenly vibrated.

She looked down.

It was Jacob who called her.

Ashley picked up, “Brother.”

“Well, eight o’clock tomorrow morning…” Before he finished, Jacob suddenly heard the sound on her side. He was silent for a moment, “Where are you?”

“A bar near my school.”

Ashley was a little uncomfortable and spoke slowly. “I came with my roommates, but I’m ready to go back.”

Ashley asked, “Do you go back alone?”

Ashley, “I’ll ask my roommate if she is leaving.”

“Did you drink?”

“Yes.”

Ashley didn’t dare to say honestly, “Just a little bit.”

“The name of the bar?”

Ashley couldn’t remember clearly. She turned around and asked Alex, “What’s the name of this bar?”

Alex thought for a moment, ” Wednesday.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Ashley turned around and continued to talk to Jacob on the phone. ” Wednesday,” she said hesitantly. ”

Jacob was silent for a few seconds, “OK.” Sit in there for a while, and I’ll go over there now. ”

Ashley said, unaware of why he was about to come over suddenly, wondering, “What are you doing here? Do you want to come and have fun?”

On the other end came the crash of Jacob closing the door, mixed with the breath of his voice, low and sexy, “I’m going to catch the drunkard.”

“…”

Ashley thought it was a little stuffy in the bar.

She put on her coat and said goodbye to the others, “I’ll go back first. I haven’t packed my things yet.”

Alex also stood up and said, “I’ll take you back.”

“No.”

Ashley said vaguely, “My brother is waiting for me outside.”

Alex was stupefied for a moment, “Is your home here?”

“No.”

Ashley blinked hard and waved her hand. “But my brother works here.”

She walked out of the bar.

It was very cold outside, and there was tiny snow velvet floating in the sky.

The cold wind sobered her spirit for a moment. Ashley sniffed, took out her gloves from her pocket, and put them on.

Ashley seldom saw snow and was in high spirits at this time.

She picked up a branch nearby and crouched on the ground to draw matches.

She was a little weak, and the things she drew were crooked.

After squatting for a long time, Ashley wanted to puke, and then she simply sat down on the ground.

Jacob arrived at this time.

He parked his car by the side of the road, got out of the car, and came over.

Paying attention to Ashley sitting on the side of the road, Jacob was stupefied, strode over and asked, “Ashley, why are you sitting here?”

“It seems to be wet.”

Ashley turned her head and said blankly, “My pants seem to be wet.”

Jacob raised his eyebrows, “What?”

Ashley wanted to get up, but did not have the strength, “Brother, the snow is wet.”

“…”

Jacob took a deep breath, grabbed her by the wrist, and pulled her up. “How much did you drink?”

“Half a glass.”

“Half a glass of what wine?”

Jacob smiled angrily. “By the way, who told you to come to the bar?”

“I’m an adult.”

Hearing his words, Ashley suddenly looked up, and then seriously repeated, “I am an adult.”

“Even when you’re an adult, you can’t…”

Ashley interrupted him, “Why?”

Ashley was stunned a little bit, then bent down to look at her and asked in a low voice, “Why did Little Ashley lose your temper?”

A sense of grievance sprang up, and Ashley wanted to cry for no reason. “You said it yourself,” she said. “when I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want, and no one cares about me.”

“…”

“You said it yourself.”

She had to wait until she was an adult to do how many things she wanted to do.

Just that one.

But as an adult, she seemed to have become less daring.

Once upon a time, she was just afraid to tell him about her love.

Now, she has become so afraid to like him.

Obviously, other people at this age, were very brave, to express their love.

Why did she have to put up with it?

She wanted to get in touch with him less, but she was afraid he won’t take care of himself well alone.

“What’s the matter?”

Jacob frowned, “Who bullied you?”

Ashley rubbed away her tears with gloves and said in a muffled voice, “No one.”

She was so dizzy that she could not walk steadily. She wanted to sit on the ground and was instantly grabbed by Jaacob.

Ashley leaned against him and murmured, “I want to go home.”

Jacob felt amused, “Can you go back home tomorrow?”

“I’m not feeling well.”

Ashley wrinkled her eyes and her voice slowed down. “Brother, I want to puke.”

Ashley took off his coat and put it in front of her, “Go ahead.”

Ashley gave it a try, “I can’t.”

Jacob said softly, “What about sitting nearby for a while?”

“I can’t walk.”

Ashley shook her head. “I’m not leaving.”

“Brother carries you.”

Ashley stared at him, and after a while, she suddenly began to cry, with an inexplicable little temper, “No, I’m not leaving.”

“…”

Jacob said, “Then go to the car?”

“No.”

Jacob inexplicably wanted to laugh, “Little Ashley wants to blow here?”

Ashley didn’t answer his words as if she didn’t hear him.

She sniffed and suddenly said, “Brother, can I tell you a secret?”

“Hmm?”

“I have someone I like very much.”

Ashley lowered her eyes and sobbed, “but he just doesn’t like me.”

“…”

Hearing that, Jacob couldn’t keep smiling, “Who?”

Ashley did not answer.

“That online lover?”

Jacob’s Adam’s apple rolled up and down and he asked in a mute voice, “Or is it someone from your school?”

Ashley looked up at him and was silent for a long time. Her lips moved and said, “I won’t tell you.”

‘The fact that I love you.’

Ashley didn’t tell anyone about that.

None.

She went from liking to giving up, and then to continuing to like him uncontrollably.

It was all about her.

She was the only one who knew everything.

Jacob asked, “You can’t tell brother?”

Ashley wanted to say, but she felt that her throat was sour.

She flung herself on his chest and vomited the filth from her mouth on him as if she could not help it.

“…”

Before long, Ashley stood up straight and seemed to be a little sober.

Noticing what she had just done, she stepped back and said timidly, “I didn’t mean to.”

Fearing that she would fall, Jacob reached out to help her.

Ashley got away from him, took a few more steps back, and squatted on the ground, “Don’t yell at me.”

“…”

Jacob looked at his clothes, took them off directly, and then put his coat back on.

He also squatted down in front of her, wiped her mouth with his clothes, and said with interest, “Why should I?”

Ashley sobbed, “Don’t scold me.”… ”

Jacob, “Get up.”

“No.”

Ashley simply sat down on the ground again, showing that she did not want to leave. “You will scold me again… ”

“I won’t.”

Jacob said patiently, “Get up. Don’t catch a cold.”

Ashley was still a little vigilant and motionless.

Jacob asked, “And when did I scold you?”

Ashley was silent.

“Little drunkard.”

Jacob was not angry, “Get up. Brother’s clothes are dirty. I can’t hold you.”

Ashley bowed her head and said in a nasal voice, “Leave me alone.”

“Hmm? I really want to do that.”

Jacob turned his back and crouched in front of her, “But I really don’t want to give up.”

“…”

“Come up,” Jacob said.. “I’ll take you back.”