Couldn’t Hide the Feelings - Chapter 74

After getting home, Ashley changed into slippers and sat back in her original position.

Tim and Grace were still in the living room, but they didn’t talk much.

One was watching TV, the other was reading a book.

There was only the cheerful sound of the TV in the room, which was no different from the atmosphere just now.

Grace looked up at her and asked casually, “Back so soon?”

Ashley took a piece of apple from the fruit plate and stuffed it into her mouth.

She reached out and took off her coat and said, “I sent him to the gate of the community, and Jacob asked me to come back.”

Grace nodded and asked no more questions.

Ashley bit the fruit and looked at Tim and Grace.

She thought Jacob performed quite well and said carefully, “Mom and Dad, what do you think?”

Grace’s eyes were back on TV, “Think what?”

“You haven’t seen him for years,” Ashley whispered. “now you met, and then you talked about so many things. Is there any change in your attitude? ”

Tim said with a smile, “The young man is very nice.”

Ashley hastened to agree, “Right, he’s very nice.”

“He is really excellent, very good in all aspects.

Although I don’t know quite about him, I think that he is sure to be successful in the future. ”

Tim’s eyes were still on the book, and his voice sounded very kind. “It must be hard for him to go through those things for so many years.”

Ashley paused and pursed her lower lip.

Without mentioning much, Tim suddenly changed the subject and laughed. “I heard your mother say that the first time you saw Jacob, you cried in front of him.”

When they mentioned it in this way, Ashley also felt that it was difficult to get over it. “I was young.”

“I’ve been thinking about the past lately. When you were young, you weren’t in good health.”

Tim put down the book in his hand as if remembering, “At that time, you had either allergies or fever. Your mother and I took you to the hospital every day. You cried all the time until you didn’t even have the energy to cry. ”

Grace also turned off the TV.

“We felt bad, but there was no other way. Your brother was young at that time, and you were not welcome to him. He felt that after you were born, we don’t care much about him. ”

Tim said and smiled again. “He wrote in his diary that he would rather have a dog at home than have this sister.”

Ashley was upset in an instant.

Before she could make a sound, Tim said, “But when you were in the hospital, he couldn’t see you, and he looked for you with us every day. I lied about throwing you away and made him cry on the spot. ”

Ashley licked her lips.” Why did you say that all of a sudden? ”

“It’s interesting to think of it. It was just like happened yesterday.”

Tim said, “As a result, you and your brother are almost getting married.”

Ashley was embarrassed and said, “I’m still early.”

Tim sighed lightly. “Ash, Dad is not an autocratic person, and I don’t have the idea of being superior just because the conditions in our family are OK. It’s not that I don’t think anyone is good enough for my daughter. No matter who wants to be with you, I’m sure I can find out his problems. ”

“It’s not that we think that our Ash can’t bear hardship.”

Tim said, “I just don’t want you to endure hardships at all. I’m afraid that you will have a bad life in the future. I have such worries all the time.”

There was a lump in Ashley’s throat.

“I’m just an ordinary person with the same ideas as all the Dads in the world.”

Tim said, “I hope my child will have a good life and live a safe and happy life.”

Ashley whispered, “I know.”

“I wanted to keep it from you, but I’m afraid you’ll be unhappy and blame us when you find out.”

Tim took off his glasses and murmured, “Today, Dad said something to Jacob.”

Ashley froze and opened her lips subconsciously.

“I mentioned to him all the things I was worried about and what I thought I should say.

Maybe these words, to some extent, will hurt him. But he should also think seriously about your future. ”

“You may think it’s just a relationship and you don’t need to think so much about it for the time being,” Tim said.

“But if it doesn’t work, dad thinks, ”

“You’d better break up with him as soon as possible.”

As soon as these words fell, the room fell into silence.

Ashley suddenly understood what they meant.

It may be because they were worried about her emotions, they have not stated clearly, they just said that they did not approve, but they would not stand in her way.

But what they really hoped, probably, was that she and Jacob can come to an end.

After a while.

Ashley exclaimed, “Yes, you are right. I can’t bear hardships at all.”

“I feel unhappy when I am scolded, and I don’t feel happy if I can’t eat what I want. Only when I have no choice but to do something I don’t like very much and I have to do something I have to do.”

Ashley’s voice was very soft. “Therefore, it is because I am very happy with him and I don’t feel hard at all that I say these words in front of you all the time.”

Grace touched her head and said nothing.

“I’m still in college. I don’t mean to date him and get married right away.”

Ashley said, “There is still such a long time, I can often bring him back to show you, let you know what kind of person he is.”

Tim looked at her and nodded.

“I’m not asking you to accept him right away, like him right away.”

Ashley exhaled, “I just want you not to care too much about what’s going on in his family because it’s not his choice.”

“In other respects, it doesn’t matter if you have any opinions.”

Ashley said, “Just be fair to him.”

The dialogue of the three was interrupted by the arrival of Liam.

Ashley, feeling a little blocked, went back to her room.

She sat on the bed, in a daze, thinking about the reaction to Jacob just now.

For a while, Ashley sniffed and called Jacob.

The other end immediately picked up, in the same tone as usual, “What’s wrong?”

Ashley took the pillow on the bed and stuffed it in her arms.

She lowered her eyes and stared at a spot in the void, not knowing what to say for a moment, and said nothing.

“Why don’t you speak?” Jacob had a loose voice, “Accidentally pressed it?”

Ashley just said, “No.”

Jacob did not continue to ask, chuckled, and mentioned other things. “You earn a lot from this tutor, this red envelope is like a brick.”

“It’s not that exaggerated.”

“I’ll give you one next time.”

Ashley was not in the mood to joke with him.

Listening to the tone of his voice, her mood was even more inexplicably blocked.

Without hesitation, she asked, “Did my father say something to you today?”

The other end of the phone was quiet for a few seconds.

Soon, Jacob said, “It’s really nothing.”

“My father told me everything.”

Ashley did not know exactly what Tim said, but she only held back the sentence for a long time, “Don’t be unhappy.”

“What are you thinking about? Why will I be unhappy?”

Jacob said, “He really didn’t say anything bad. Your parents are fine. They just raised some concerns with me.”

Ashley whispered, “What did they say?”

“It’s like, they think I’m too old, so it’s a shame for you to take me out.”

Ashley frowned.” Can you be serious? I’m seriously asking you. ”

“Your parents said so much to me all night,” Jacob laughed. “I don’t know which one you’re asking.”

It was obvious that he didn’t want to say anything.

Ashley stopped asking questions.

She was a little depressed and said incoherently, “Anyway, don’t be unhappy. My parents mainly treat me as a child all the time, for fear that I will meet bad people. What they say doesn’t represent what I think. ”

Jacob, “Mm-hmm.”

“Besides, no matter what other people say about your father, it really has nothing to do with you. Don’t worry about it.”

Ashley didn’t know how to comfort people, so she could only say what she wanted to say. “I’ll talk to them again.”

“I know.”

Jacob said, “Don’t mention it to them. It’s rare to take a holiday. Get along well with your parents. Don’t let this affect your mood.”

“Don’t worry,” Jacob’s voice became soft as if murmuring, “I’ll think about it.”

Ashley was stupefied and was about to ask him what she was thinking about when the door was suddenly knocked and Liam’s voice came, “Mom made soup and asked you to go out to drink.”

She raised her eyes and subconsciously answered, “Okay.”

Jacob obviously heard, “Go, don’t keep them waiting.”

Ashley was silent for a moment and didn’t know how to ask what had just happened, but she just said, “Then don’t be unhappy.”

It has been a long time since Ashley finished her soup and came back from washing.

She pulled out her phone again and opened Whatsapp.

After hesitating for a long time, she typed a sentence. [You just said to think about it. What do you mean?

Ashley silently deleted all the words and changed them into two words [good night].

She turned off the light and lay down on the bed, the words reverberating in her mind.

I’ll think about it.

Think about it.

Think about.

Both Tim and Jacob said that they raised some concerns.

What are the concerns?

About the age, or about his father?

But there was no way to change these two.

That left only was the economic conditions of Jacob.

But he was not poor.

He may not be able to afford a house for the time being, but he will work hard for a few more years, and then she would work, which was not a big problem.

So what did Jacob have to think about?

‘It can’t be…’

Ashley forcibly withdrew the idea that she was about to emerge.

Staring at the ceiling, Ashley wanted to cry.

She sat up, there was a layer of water mist in front of her eyes, and she held it back forcibly.

At this moment, all the firmness and intransigence have become unclear.

In fact, Ashley thought that one day, her parents will definitely change their minds.

In a short time, she will be upset because she didn’t know what to do, but she was not very worried about what they didn’t support.

But she was a little worried about the idea of Jacob.

Ashley knew very well that he was very concerned about this matter.

So on the first day, they were together, he mentioned this matter to her, and he cared whether she cared or not.

Even he knew very well that it had nothing to do with him.

But he still felt humble about it.

A very deep-rooted idea, or a fact that he couldn’t change.

Ashley was worried that if he would not really feel that he was not good enough because of what Tim and Grace said tonight.

Would he start to get stressed because of her?

Would he make a concession because of his gratitude to Tim and their opposition?

Would it be that he really didn’t plan to be with her anymore?

Would he just give up?

Ashley pursed her lips hard.

Holding back the choking in her throat, she picked up her cell phone again and wanted to say something to him. She wanted him not to be sad and not to care too much about it.

At this moment, Ashley felt powerless and weak to the extreme.

Ashley felt that she can be good to him all her life. She hoped he will not feel unhappy because of what happened in the past and will not be hurt by it again.

But he seemed to have been hurt again because of her.

She slowly put down her phone.

Ashley’s mind was empty and suddenly remembered.

Downstairs in the community where Jacob lived before, she expressed her feelings carefully and seriously.

His eyes were dyed with light, and he reached out and hugged her and kissed her on the forehead.

Then, with great affection, he said, “Well, I like you, too.”

The next day, Ashley was dragged to visit relatives by Grace early in the morning.

Noticing that her mind was not on this side, Grace did not force her but found a reason for her to go back.

After coming out from a relative’s house, Ashley went to find Jacob.

Because he had to go to work on the seventh day of the year, he did not plan to stay long.

Jacob looked as usual, it seemed that he was really unaffected.

Ashley emphasized a few words to him again, telling him not to be unhappy.

He put on a funny look and said, “Why? Are you coaxing a child?”

Before getting on the plane, Jacob thought about it, took the initiative to appease her, and later said, “Spend the New year here well.”

Ashley nodded absent-mindedly. “Mm-hmm.”

“It will take months to go after you go to school.”

Jacob said playfully, “Don’t cry because you are homesick.”

Ashley stared at him, her lips moving, trying to ask something, but she was afraid of getting a bad answer.

She fell silent and only nodded again.

Ashley didn’t know what she was worried about, but she didn’t dare to ask what he was thinking about.

She was extremely vigilant and felt that she would remain in this state as long as she did not ask.

She felt as if she had become a pessimist.

But if Ashley thought too much, she would feel that she was scaring herself.

If Jacob really had that idea, he certainly wouldn’t have such an attitude now.

Sometimes, a lot of ideas would change because of some normal little things.

After Jacob returned to SL, he became very busy and had less contact with Ashley.

In peacetime, this was actually a very normal thing.

Not only after the New year, but Jacob also often had to work overtime, always busy.

Sometimes when she talked to him, he didn’t reply immediately, and Ashley didn’t care too much.

But during this period of time, Ashley always thought of his sentence, “I’ll think about it again.” All the emotions kept piling up, like balloons constantly filling with gas, which would explode the next moment.

Combined with his behavior.

Ashley would wonder if he was avoiding her.

Could he really be thinking about breaking up with her?

That night, Ashley slept very restlessly and steadily.

She dreamed all night.

Dreamt that Kathy appeared in front of her again, he said to her, “It doesn’t matter if you are done. Jacob won’t be too sad. He will think that it would be good if you could find a better one.”

Dreamt that she did not go into the kitchen to help Grace that day, and then saw Jacob heard Tim’s words, his instantly frozen smile.

Dreamt that he said mockingly, “I’m afraid you mind.”

Dreamt that he smiled and said, “I think your parents are good people. I can’t be sorry to them for helping me like that. ”

All the pictures were interlaced and appear real in this illusion.

Finally, Ashley dreamed that that night, he did not receive the red envelope she sent, saying in a low voice, “Forget it.”

The next moment, Ashley opened her eyes and woke up.

Ashley covered the position of her heart, her head was still blank, and she was at a loss after her dream.

For a moment, she couldn’t remember what dream she had just had.

After a while.

A great sense of emptiness occupied her.

Ashley grabbed the quilt and suddenly began to cry, with an uncontrollable whimper in her throat.

Afraid of disturbing Tim and Grace next door, she could only endure it with all her strength.

Ashley picked up her cell phone and wanted to call Jacob.

Noticing the time, she stopped and watched the screen fade out with an extremely blurred field of vision.

Ashley made up her mind to wipe away her tears, lit her cell phone again, and booked the latest flight back to SL.

Ashley could only book a flight at ten o’clock the next night.

When she woke up, she told her parents that something had happened at school, so she planned to go back ahead of time.

After lunch, Ashley began to pack her bags. When she saw the milk bottle on the windowsill, she went over to pick it up.

She poured out the stars inside.

Ashley reached out and took two stars of the same color inside and put them in her pocket.

At about the same time, Tim drove her to the airport.

Ashley went through the security check alone and waited in the terminal. She hesitated to send a message to Jacob but did not receive a reply for a long time.

She pursed her lips, but still didn’t tell him that she went back to SL now.

Getting on the plane, she sat in the aisle seat.

Ashley put on her seat belt, and at this moment, she suddenly remembered that when she was a freshman in high school, she secretly went to SL to find him.

It was also a temporary ticket, as it was now.

All the better positions have been picked out.

It was not the first time she had taken a plane, but it was the first time she had gone so far alone.

Pretending that she was not afraid of anything, pretending that she did not feel uneasy, pretending that she was so brave that it was not a pity to get any result.

Just go and see him.

Ashley put her hand in her pocket and touched the two stars she had just stuffed in.

Her palms closed and soon loosened as if she had decided something.

Three hours later, Ashley got off the plane.

She took out her cell phone, turned it on, dragged her suitcase, and walked in the direction of the exit.

Jacob called and Ashley picked it up.

“Ash, I just heard from your brother that you are going back to school today.” Jacob’s voice came from the receiver. “Didn’t you come back on Saturday?”

Ashley whispered, “Mm-hmm.”

“You arrived?” Jacob paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to tell you.”

Ashley’s voice was sullen, “But you ignored me.”

“There’s something going on these days. I don’t check my phone much. I’m not ignoring you.”

Jacob said, “I’m at the airport. Where are you?”

“The chair next to exit T3.”

“Okay.”

Jacob coaxed gently, “Wait there.”

Ashley sat in her seat and took the two stars out of her pocket.

She rubbed her eyes and thought firmly that she would not cry this time.

After about five or six minutes, Ashley saw the figure of Jacob.

Jacob went to Ashley, took off his coat, and wrapped it around her. “You don’t even know the temperature in SL?.”

Ashley stared at him.

Jacob raised eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”

Ashley bowed her head and handed him the paper stars in her hand.

Seeing this, Jacob took over, “What is this?”

Something she’s been trying to hide.

Something she didn’t want her to know for the rest of his life.

In her opinion, she was extremely embarrassed, like a defeated general.

In this relationship, Ashley had extremely low self-esteem.

She felt unequal, so she wanted others to feel that Jacob was the one who devoted more feelings.

She wanted him to feel the same way.

She hoped that he could never live without her.

“Do you remember the time when I came here in my freshman year of high school?”

Ashley raised her eyes again and said seriously, “The time I said I came to find my online lover.”

“Well, why did you bring this up all of a sudden?”

“Actually, I lied.”

“I don’t have any online lovers.”

In fact, Ashley didn’t want to cry at all. She thought it was really awkward, but she choked up inexplicably, “I came to see you at that time.”

As if he didn’t understand what she said, Jacob crouched semi-squatting in front of her. “What?”

“I heard from my brother that you had a girlfriend.”

Ashley dared not look at him and finished crying. “I stole my ID card and bought a plane ticket.”

” I fell in love with you a long time ago.”

Ashley wiped her tears with the back of her hand, “I lied to you. I’m afraid you think I am…”

‘I’ll tell you everything.’

‘Everything.’

‘In that case, can you know that you are fine?’

‘Can you stay with me forever because I like you so much, don’t be shaken by anyone’s words, and don’t feel bad about yourself.’

‘I like you. I like you very much.’

‘It lasted for nearly seven years.’

‘From youth, to the present, and even my whole future.’

Ashley was extremely sure that she couldn’t like a person like this.

Jacob felt extremely at a loss for the first time.

He had no idea how to react.

His Adam’s apple slid up and down and he suddenly understood something.

He lowered his eyes, slowly took apart the two stars in his hand, and saw the handwriting left on it.

Young and green.

“I don’t really want to admit it, but I seem to really like someone. 20091105 ”

“His name is Jacob. 20091105 ”

‘Can you believe it?’

I fell in love with a man, who is seven years older than me.’