Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 106

Whenever Leyla fluttered her glistening eyes open, there were always two blue orbs looking back down at her. And then this gentle push and pull between them would resume, his eyes never leaving her. 

Despite the icy colors mirrored in his eyes, Leyla couldn’t help but feel engulfed in their warmth.

She raised her palms to cover her face, hiding it away from his penetrating gaze while simultaneously pushing him out even though she knew it would be useless. Still, despite the cover and the distance she placed between them, it was almost as though he could see straight into her heart. 

A moan erupted through her lips, unable to keep down the bubbling pleasure building up inside her as Matthias kept going with his erotic ministrations.

“Leyla,” he whispered out her name like a sigh, paving the way for that heat inside her to replenish as his rough, calloused hands fondled her breasts, pinching and twisting her sensitive nub in one hand while the other rubbed against her stimulated button in the nether regions.

Through lust-filled eyes, Leyla tried to keep eye contact with the man buried deep inside her as he rutted against her thighs. 

He was so beautiful like this. His dark locks matted against his temples, with that pinkish flush on his face as their ragged breaths intermingled between them. He kept steady eye contact with her, his expression barely changing with her attention, but she could see that miniscule quirk up his lips once he’d registered he had her undivided attention.

Leyla began to curl in on herself at that moment because she couldn’t stand the strange feeling coming over her. Matthias frowned at her pulling away from him but soon gave a soft smile in her direction and chuckled lowly, giving that heated sensation in her an extra boost.

Matthias slowed down his movement a little, dipped his head down, and kissed Leyla firmly on the lips. Only upon the feel of his lips ravishing hers did Leyla realize she was terribly disorganized. 

In the background, she was still painfully aware of the creaking and rutting sounds the bed was made in response to their movements.

When the Duke pulled away and moved to kiss her again, she firmly blocked his advances with her palm, covering her mouth fully. She might not be able to physically part from him right now, but she needed some distance between them.

And for now, physical barriers will have to do, which also made her firmly close her legs in an attempt to regain composure.

But Matthias’s hands clamped back down on her thighs, forcibly keeping them apart as he settled in nicely between her legs. Leyla felt her heart lurch to her throat as he hiked her legs up to his shoulders, trailing kisses on her inner thighs.

She had no desire to do this now! She needed to be away from him right now! She couldn’t think clearly with him so nearby… so intimate with her, and yet Matthias buried himself deep inside her heat in one swift thrust.

“Don’t look! No!” she whined pathetically as the Duke’s lustful gaze watched their bodies turn into one and chuckled when she scrambled to sit up and cover his eyes. He grabbed her wrists and held them in front of him, kissing the inside of her wrists before hooking them up around his neck.

Leyla was now hanging off of his body, her entire body shuddering as he pistoned in and out deeply of her. She felt her eyes begin to sting with the brimming of her tears, so she bit down hard on her lips to stifle the moans and sobs threatening to spill out. 

She knew from the moment she resigned to the title of his mistress that she’d be forced to satisfy all his physical desires, but she couldn’t help the rising torrent of shame and guilt in her actions. It was addicting as it was disgusting.

Calloused hands supported her, Matthias grabbing a fistful of her buttocks as she bounced on top of him. She fell closer into his chest, allowing him to claim her lips into his as well, plunging his tongue into her mouth. 

When he pulled away, Leyla’s words were weak in protest and more indecipherable as it mixed with her pleasured sounds, the creaking of the bed, and flesh slapping against each other with a wet squelch.

“Pretty.”

Matthias whispered against her lips before pulling her into another desperate kiss as her walls clamped down around him.

“I’m shameful,” She gasped out, a moan slipping out as he hit deep into her. Her torso convulsed when he scraped against her inner walls, giving her sweet friction and filling her up to the brim. His hands kneaded her butt sensually, their chests rubbing up against each other as he suckled into her collarbone.

“It’s dirty,” Leyla’s lips wobbled as she felt herself clench up around him as he thrust deep into her.

“You’re insanely pretty, you.” He kept muttering against her breast before swallowing one of her nipples and suckled into them like a newborn infant.

Leyla was at a loss for words and opted to look at him instead. 

This was the man who trampled on her life without any remorse because of his desire to have her. This was the man who used cowardly tricks by blackmailing her into agreeing and proceeded to violate her with great satisfaction.

A despicable man to the core, and yet…

There was a shameful urge to sink into his arms deep inside her gut, sickening her to the core of how wrong this feeling was…

Especially for a man who ruined her life.

She thought back to the humiliation and guilt she felt when she had been confronted by Claudine about her affair. She thought back to the hurt in Kyle’s eyes when he saw them in the cabin and the crushed look of his when she insisted she was in love with the Duke…

She imagined the great pain and disappointment Uncle Bill would endure once he learned of her discretions. She could only imagine the stress she would put upon him once he realizes it was for his safety that she was giving herself up to the duke…

The man who started all this tragedy in her life.

She knew that fact well, but still, her mind was having trouble connecting the face in front of her to the man she knew lay behind these beautiful blue pools. 

These cool blue eyes that stared into her soul always seemed sincere. Those lips who would engulf hers in a fit of passion and whisper sweet nothings in the shell of her ears… 

His genuine laughter, his warm and tender touch…

All these were true as well.

But Leyla didn’t want to think more about it and thus surrendered herself up to the pleasure he was actively giving her. Her breath choked up in her throat with every gasp and moan he coaxed out of her, so lost in the physical pleasure as her sanity drifted in and out of her. 

She felt suffocated in his arms, but she didn’t want to part from it at the same time. Whenever her thoughts turned morbid, his sweet words would always pull her back…

His compliments on how beautiful she was, body slick with sweat and orgasm. On and on, he kept repeating it, making her feel more ashamed of how shamelessly she drank it all up.

He spilled nothing else but her name and her beauty, planting sweet kisses on the entire expanse of her naked skin, searing deep into her soul just how satisfied he was, filling her up until her body grew taut and maximum tension coiled in her gut…

And then she saw stars as she climaxed. Her juices spilled between them while he gave her a few more thrusts before pulling out of her sensitive walls and spilling white, hot seed across her belly. 

Both eventually came down from their high, with Matthias pulling her back flush on his torso and petted her hair. Their ragged breathing soon turned soft once they calmed down. A smile bloomed on Matthias’ lips as he continued listening to the sound of their rhythmic breathing, allowing a subdued satisfaction to lull him to sleep.

He then maneuvered Leyla to turn slightly towards him, her eyes fluttering open as she felt him leaving butterfly kisses on her flushed cheeks. Despite the haziness that initially occurred in her eyes’ focus, they eventually locked back onto him. 

She blinked back a few times until her vision cleared, and the shameful feeling in her reared its ugly head once more as she shuddered and tried to turn away, but Matthias’ hands went up to cup her chin and held it in place.

“Leyla.” 

He whispered her name as if hypnotized by it.

“Leyla.” 

He called out again, loving how her name rolled off his tongue so easily.

He kept repeating it like a mantra, with no particular thought or reason why he kept calling her name, but Leyla remained quiet as she continued to listen to the way he called out for her.

Leyla. 

Leyla Lewellin. 

My Leyla.

There was a bubbling feeling, like a laugh, welling deep inside him the more he thought about her. His arms instinctively tightened up around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to him as if he wanted to meld their bodies into one.

He could see the startled expression on her face, which surged bouts of annoyance but also admiration at how adorably cute she was acting…

But there was also a hidden nervousness buried deep inside him the more he looked at her.

“I can’t do it anymore.” Leyla weakly pleaded, her hand stretching out as her knuckles brushed his shoulder lightly. “I’m so terrible at this… please.” She begged him in a whisper. At that moment, it dawned on Matthias just what she’d been afraid of.

A casual smirk soon replaced the self-satisfied smile on his lips, but even so, Matthias’ hands continued to lovingly stroke her hair. 

It’s okay.

That was what his gentle brushes felt like. As though he was placating a child. Leyla slowly pulled away from him, scooting slightly to put distance between them.

“Say it, Leyla.” He gently coaxed out, his calloused hands reaching out to grab hers. She turned her head towards it, slightly tilting up to meet his gaze in a curious manner.

“What do you mean?” She wondered in confusion, and Matthias’ hands moved to cup her cheeks.

“How hard do you want me to go?” he asked, and Leyla’s eyes widened, and the vibrant flush returned to her cheeks full force as she understood his implications.

“I-it’s not that.” She spluttered embarrassingly, vaguely registering the feel of his dried seed caking against her stomach. “I – I just want to stay like this for a moment, cherish this tranquility between us.” She told him lovingly and smiled sweetly towards him.

Matthias’ arms hiked up to support him, and he looked down at her gentle expression.

“Is that right?”

“Of course,” She whispered to him, “After all, I told you I love you, didn’t I? Did it seem like a lie?””

Matthias could only hum in response, smiling down at her in equal gentleness, but his eyes told a different story. Whenever she looked into her eyes, she could only see deep darkness reflected in him during the night. 

There had been slight anxiety that resurfaced moments ago but eventually faded into relief when Matthias had given her no indication that he figured out her lie. This allowed her to calm down and relax on the satin sheets beneath them.

Which paved the way for another thought to spring up in her mind. Something she’d been finding the right time to do.

“Actually,” She began, nibbling on her lower lips in nervousness, “I wish to ask for something.” Feeling his eyes on her, she expertly avoided them, willing the following words to come out of her.

“As you know, my birthday is next month.” She reminded him, and Matthias chuckled at how nervous she looked at the moment.

“When, next month, is your birthday?”

Now that he thought about it, Matthias never recalled when her birthday was. This was a perfect opportunity to give her something lavish, something she deserved now she was his mistress.

“It’s on the first Saturday.” she meekly replied, eyes glinting in a show of excitement in the night. 

Her birthday perfectly coincided with springtime’s full bloom the season. What a perfect day for a beautiful woman such as her, Matthias thought in admiration. 

“So, is this a birthday present?” He asked with a serene smile, and she nodded meekly.

“Yes.” She whispered in a small voice, hiding her face beneath the blankets, making the duke laugh. He promptly pried the blanket off her face and brushed a finger against her cheeks as he looked at her.

“What kind of gift would you like then?” 

“I-I’m having trouble choosing just one.” She admitted embarrassingly, and Matthias smiled comfortingly at her, scooping a stray golden lock of hers, and kissed it. 

“Then tell me everything you want, and I’ll get it for you.” He whispered enticingly towards her, but it only made her frown.

“I don’t want that.” She replied, finding it utterly absurd at how easy it was to him to just purchase things for her, and yet his willingness to give her everything she asked for made her feel warm. 

The expression of her false bravado reminded Matthias pleasantly about her charity performance at the end of last year. She was indeed the prettiest fairy that night yet gave the most hilarious performances. 

His ever clumsy and most exquisite Leyla.

“I’m going to pick something that’s meaningful.” She suddenly told him, which made Matthias frown in confusion. After a few more moments of silence, she finally looked back at him. “Soon. I will tell you soon, which is it that I want.”

“Are you that confident then that I’ll give it to you?” Matthias asked her humoredly with a mischievous grin, but Leyla only blinked up before looking contemplatively in thought.

“I want to believe you would give it to me.” She admitted quietly.

“Why do you think I will do that?”

The frown on her face deepened before she looked at him sheepishly.

“Because I’m pretty?” She trailed off, looking unsurely at him. 

What else could she answer him after all? He just wanted her because she was beautiful in his eyes.

When he continued to stare impassively at her, Leyla couldn’t help but become self-conscious.

“I – I,” She began stuttering, “Y-you told me that I’m pretty.” She weakly reasoned out. “Was it a lie?” She asked worriedly the longer Matthias regarded her silently.

Matthias narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he stared into hers. He tried remaining more impassively, but the nervous she got, the more adorable she looked; thus, he’d been unable to hold back his laughter at her expression. 

Contrary to how she was trying to play him, he couldn’t find it to hate this woman. In fact, he looked forward to be getting caught up in her schemes, ecstatically curious as to what she was getting to. 

Matthias sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. Leyla looked up at him timidly, trying to read him, to gouge out his reaction. 

Gone was the brazenly confident woman who tried to seduce him before, now replaced by her old, clumsy self for that short moment.

Giving her a small smile, Matthias leaned his head back on the board to gaze upon the room’s ceiling, his hand absentmindedly stroking Leyla’s hair in slow, gentle motions. 

What would it be like to sleep next to her every night and wake up next to her every morning? The thought came to his mind unbidden at that moment. But Matthias knew that was only wishful thinking at most.

But why would he even think that? There was simply no logic he could come upon.

The title of becoming his Duchess was not just to plainly be his wife after all. 

Even if he were to make her his Duchess, Leyla would not be accepted into the empire’s high society. Instead, she would be pushed aside, and their family name and honor would crumble in the process.

It was best she would only be his mistress. But still, the thought persisted despite him knowing it mustn’t come to be. 

Still, it wasn’t as though Matthias was afraid of being scorned by the world.

After all, he was a Herhardt, first and foremost. This was just how he’s been raised. What he was born to be. 

He never had the need to look at it from another person’s perspective, nor did he have to bow his head in deference to anyone. Whatever it was he wanted, one way or another, it’ll be given to him. 

That was him, his whole life. Once a Herhardt, always a Herhardt. And he can’t find it in him to complain about that.

But this with Leyla was unknown territory, and all that he knew for sure was he wanted her all for himself. There were even thoughts of bringing in their family’s lawyer to gauge out the consequences he would face if he were to break off his engagement with Claudine and take on Leyla instead.

But it wasn’t the correct decision. Nothing beneficial to their family would come if he were to pursue this relationship with Leyla. 

He needed to stop.

He took a deep breath, his hands stilling in Leyla’s hair before he pulled it away from her locks. Upon his stilled movements, Leyla looked up at him inquiringly.

Yes, being his mistress was the best solution.

It might not be the one he wanted, but this way, he could still have her as much as he wished and then stop when their relationship had reached a conclusion. 

Moving her to Ratz would enable Leyla to live her life comfortably where he could keep tabs on her. In this way, he could also continue being Arvis’ perfect Duke Herhardt. Nothing will change for him, and Leyla would be solely his. 

But Arvis without Leyla, well…

All of the main estate’s gardens, forests, riversides, and vast fields were nothing to him after all.

What made them so beautiful to him was her presence. He’d seen her constantly since she’d arrived at the estate. Watched the frail young girl turn into a beautiful woman. 

She was why he’d come home to Arvis.

“Ouch…” Leyla gasped out softly, gaining back Matthias’ attention. He saw her wince momentarily in pain before realizing his hand wandered back into her hair, and now he was grasping a fistful of hair firmly.

“I-it hurts.” She whimpered, eyes glistening in the dark, when Matthias found his grip tightening up. She gasped out once again when he used this as a means to pull her up and towards him until his mouth was leveled with her ears.

“You’re mine, Leyla,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting her ears, making her body shudder. 

His grip on her hair remained tight as he gently leaned her head back to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“You belong to me,” He continued whispering as he planted more kisses from her temples, trailing them down her face, “All of you belong to me.”

His other hand then came to grasp the back of her neck firmly before he abruptly let go of her hair. Leyla squeaked in response, coaxing out an enamored smile from the Duke’s lips, yet there was a burning intensity in his eyes as he looked at Leyla, chilling her to the bone. 

Leyla found herself frozen, equally enticed with him.

“But you’re not mine,” she whispered absentmindedly before her eyes widened in surprise and then shame. The familiar prickling sensation in her eyes returned as she tried to hold back tears.

Matthias only smiled and cooed at her praisingly. 

“Yes,” he whispered in affirmation, “Such a good mistress you are.” He mumbled into her lips before he began ravishing her slowly. In the midst of making out with one another, Leyla heard him whisper as he pulled away…

“It doesn’t make you any less mine.”

He grinned at her affectionately, yet she could recognize that manic gleam in the eyes of Lady Brandt’s fiance.