Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 110

The leaves around her were of a beautiful forest green, swaying along with the evening winds as the sky was painted orange as the sun prepared to rest for the day.

Leyla found herself scooting closer to the shaded area on the sidewalk as she watched the car halt in front of her.  She had no doubt it had been ordered to do so by its master, safely nestled inside. 

As expected, the doors in the car clicked unlocked, and Matthias pristinely stepped out of the vehicle without further adieu, and made a beeline straight for her. 

Leyla could only watch him in rapt attention, drinking in his image and form, unconsciously burning it to her memory. 

He stopped a couple of paces in front of her, and they stared into each other’s eyes. None of them made any move to fill the awkward silence between them, aside from the rustling and whistling of leaves and winds.

“Have you given it much thought then?” Matthias finally asked her, breaking the silence after a quick glance at his wristwatch. 

He was supposed to be departing Arvis, but that had been delayed due to an abrupt luncheon meeting. Which meant he would have to miss the evening train, which he was supposed to take to be able to attend the Queen’s birthday party on time. 

Upon her confused look, Matthias decided to clarify.

“Your birthday gift, have you given it some thought?” He asked her again, deciding to ask now instead of later, when he’d most likely forget to ask. 

Leyla let out an indecipherable sigh, and Matthias faintly noted how her knuckles turned white as she gripped her bicycle handles. 

She seemed exceptionally smaller and younger today, and once more, silence befell them both once again, with Leyla content to stare at him. 

Matthias greatly adored these moments with Leyla. He was most fond of these moments because they also gave him a great excuse to ogle and take in every bit of her features and memorize every crevice and reaction in her body and mannerisms. 

From the way she talks, to how he predicted her thoughts would be, down to her eyelashes, her golden locks, kissable lips, and soft body…

He wanted more of her, even though he already had all of her. He wanted more of her kisses, more of her smile, more of her touch, her warmth, her scent on his sheets. He wanted to make sure as well everyone knew she was his. 

And he wanted to hold her attention, her eyes, and her priority forever. Now that she was no longer looking as scared of him as she was before, he wanted to see more of that blushing cheeks, and hear more of her devotion to him. 

She might often be lost in her thoughts, but he was lost in thoughts of her. And it made everything soft and beautiful in his bland life. 

It was an exhilarating feeling indeed. 

“Yes, I remember.” she softly told him, smiling prettily at him with those soft, kissable, plump lips of hers, “Can I say it to you now?” She asked him. 

Leyla was sick to her stomach now that she was this close to him. Gone was the earned comfort she found around him as images of her uncle’s heartbroken face flashed through the back of her mind. 

She still had a part to play after all. She needed to look alive, like she loved his attention on her. 

“Tell me.” Matthias ordered her with no hesitation and Leyla tried her best not to smile derisively. 

“Hmm, even if I tell it to you, do you really promise to give it to me?” She tilted her head up cutely at him. She tried to play coy with him, wanting to gouge out his reaction and drive the nail further in his heart when she disappeared from him forever.

“Of course I will.” Matthias promised her, his sharp eyes softening in response to her adoring request of him. “Anything you ask of me, shall be yours.” He swore to her, his confident grin turning into a soft smile…

He could faintly feel the pounding in his chest. What would she ask of him? He was very excited to know, as she looked up at him contentedly with her bright smile directed to him. 

Evening might already be overhead, but with Leyla, everything was bright as day for him. 

Leyla, on the other hand, felt so different from him. 

She knew deep down, that no matter what she did, nothing would break this man in front of her. Even if she were to escape, it wouldn’t be enough to destroy him in the way she wanted him to be distraught. 

He will still live his life, free of the guilt and hurt he had brought upon her life. 

He will still become Claudine’s powerful husband. 

But it didn’t stop her one bit from wishing she held his heart, so that she could break it for him.

“Love me…”

She whispered earnestly, looking up at him in a pleading manner. The wind around them began to pick up pace, while Matthias felt himself still with her words. 

He looked down, and properly looked at her for the first time, beyond just the beauty he had been so mesmerized with, and felt himself get sucked in even further. 

She looked positively radiant begging him like this, even as her golden locks fluttered in wisps with the wind.

“Please love me.”

She repeated, louder than before, pouring her most heartfelt wish in those words, giving him a watery smile.

“I need you to love me. I want you to love me.” 

Something throbbed in his chest at her words, confusion filling his mind, though outwardly he remained unphased by her pleas. 

Leyla looked up at him so expectantly, yet he was completely oblivious to the malicious intent behind those sweet, flowery words. 

She desperately wished that when she finally left him, he’d be wounded so deeply, no amount of time would ever heal it. 

‘Cry for me,’ She thought in her head, her wishes ringing loudly in the back of her mind,  ‘Just this time, I want to know you cried because of me.’

The fading morning light bounced on their skins, the Duke’s fair skin painted a golden orange as he held his mistress’ gaze. Leyla could feel her tears begin to well up, but she’d gotten good at holding them back. 

Only her red-rimmed eyes indicated she was being emotional as of the moment. She tried to hide it with an ever bright smile, but Matthias remained silent. 

She thought back to her life before, her time with Kyle until how he finally parted from her for the last time, her first meeting with Uncle Bill, and his expletives and promises of bodily hurt when he found out she’d been whoring herself to the Duke…

Every good thing in her life had been destroyed without a second thought by this one man alone…

“Give me your love, for eternity…” She added wistfully with a sweet voice, holding up a hand to caress his cheeks lovingly.

This would be the last time she would ever touch him. The last time she would ever feel his warm skin beneath her palms…

It was time to say goodbye. 

This would be her final farewell. 

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Finally, it was time to leave Arvis. Mark Evers had already gone ahead and opened up the car door for his master, but when the Duke came, he stopped right in front, before he could even get it. 

He squirmed minutely in place, glancing nervously at his master, and back towards his fellow servants. Finally, he cleared his throat a few seconds after the Duke still stood in place, staring blankly into the empty backseat of his car. 

“Master,” He called out softly, finally gaining the Duke’s attention as he immediately snapped his eyes towards him. Mark flinched in response, before bowing his head towards him. “I’m afraid time is of the essence, we must leave now, to get to the Capital in time.” He politely explained. 

Matthias looked outwardly calm, yet his mind was running nonstop, replaying his mistress’ words over and over again. Something was unsettled in his gut, and he wasn’t certain why it was. Only that something was amiss. 

“Very well,” he coolly replied, seemingly still lost in his thoughts, before letting out a resigned sigh, “Let’s leave.” He ordered, and swiftly got in his car seat, letting Mark close the door after him.

They arrived rather quickly, the driver expertly weaving through the traffic and into the train station to not miss their departure. Immediately, the chauffeur came around to the Duke’s side, and opened up his door.

Matthias pristinely slid out of his seat and began walking towards the train, as his servants trailed after him, carrying his luggage. The train station was rather crowded at the moment, but at least no pedestrians were standing in the way of the Duke as he waited for the train to come around in the front of the platform.

Once the train rolled to a stop in front of them, and unloaded its current passengers, Matthias wasted no time in climbing aboard, followed dutifully by his attendants. He was seated comfortably, while the others sat a few seats down, but still close enough to make sure he had everything he needed. 

Once the last passenger had climbed aboard, the train let out a sharp whistle, and thrummed with low vibrations as it started to leave. Chatter filled around Matthias, but he saw little reason listening in, and stared out of his window instead.

He watched as the train rolled out of the station, the buildings blurring in front of him, and every face of every person he could see. It was a sight he’d seen so many times now, it had gotten dull so long ago. 

This was only a short trip, after all. It was just a week, and not for anything special, despite what the empire wanted to make it so. 

Settling in comfortably in his plush seat, Matthias let out a low sigh and fluttered his eyes shut. Once he did, a pleasant face surfaced in the forefront of his thoughts, letting him hum comfortably in peace. 

Her green eyes reminded him wonderfully of evergreen leaves in the morning dew. How beautiful.

But what did it mean to love?

What an odd request, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. How should he love her?

They already shared a bed, seen each other in their bare bodies, and utter vulnerability. He’d gifted her the things she desired and more, and she’d welcome his advances in return. 

How else was he supposed to  love  her? 

He hadn’t answered her back then, because he didn’t see a difference in what they had been doing to what he knew love to be. Her earnest wish for him to love her, left him completely baffled. 

Though it seemed time had stretched between them in silence, it lasted only for a short while, before his attention was brought back to the present and to his urgent schedule by his attendant, who had interrupted their moment. 

He had glanced back at her one last time, looking at those emerald orbs that seemed to glisten in sadness as he turned away from her. He might have been wishfully thinking about that last bit, but he classified it as something to think about later.

And that’s when the feeling of something amiss had begun. He’d left her behind for his trips before, yet something in his gut was churning uncomfortably, the wrongness of their latest encounter bugging him to no end. 

But even though it felt like his feet were being swept up beneath him, her last pretty smile to him made everything feel like he was floating instead. It was with her, he could feel he had wings.

She was his damnation, but she was also his salvation.

His eyes fluttered open once more, and focused back on the passing buildings outside his window, before it was engulfed in pure darkness as they passed through a tunnel. Leyla was still firmly in his mind, more prominent now in the darkness, as she was the only thing lighting his way.

She hadn’t held onto him once they’d been interrupted. Instead, she let out a nervous laughter and stepped back to give some ample space between them.

And he got in his car without further adieu, watching the rearview mirror as she stood in place, watching him leave her, until she was no longer within his sight. 

He’d looked back several times once she did. Craning his neck around to catch more glimpses at her, resolutely ignoring the stares of his attendant and chauffeur. The creeping feeling of him leaving behind something important grew with the distance between them. 

Once more, he pushed thoughts of those back in his mind and focused on the landscape that had returned to view outside. 

Leyla would be there when he returned anyway. 

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The feeling persisted, as did the thoughts that kept arising even as he tried to bury it for later thoughts of her. In no time, he’d finally arrived in Ratz. And his attendants came bustling around him, preparing him for the royal banquet and he only stood there and waited for them to finish their tasks. 

And then the night was over, and a new day rose again, and he went on to do the tasks he intended to finish earlier to spend more time with his mistress. 

He suddenly felt the urge to look back once more, irrational as it was. He knew he wouldn’t see Leyla behind him, no matter how hard he looked. Leyla was firmly in Arvis, and would remain there until he moved her to their mansion in Ratz.

Still, every passing glance at a blonde woman, he wished them desperately to be Leyla. The more he thought of her, the more clearly he could see her in every single thing in Ratz. 

Even the clear memory of her bright smile gave him a jittery feeling. It made everything brighter in this night of frenzy and socialites. How pathetic of him to think that. 

Once he was done being prepared, automatically he came towards his large window, and drew the curtains open, before belatedly realizing this wasn’t Arvis. He was already in his mansion in Ratz. 

It didn’t matter, he told himself placatingly. Leyla would soon come to live with him here, and here, they would be free to be with one another as they wished. 

Did everything really come to him as easily as she said it did? He never thought about it before.

Perhaps she was right in that regard. But was it his fault he was born with a silver spoon? It wasn’t also his fault that people loved giving him things he wanted at a moment’s notice. It was also why he’d never felt threatened by anyone.

He could make anything he wanted happen with his own will and power. 

And then the image of her falling down the road, her bike being upturned, and its wheels spinning uncontrollably on the side of the road came to mind. He felt his heart quickening painfully in his chest at the sight of it, he barely noticed the rustling leaves around them…

Was everything really so easy for him?

She wasn’t easily attained by him after all. 

With a sigh, Matthias turned around, and leaned back against the windowsill in deep thought. 

The Brandt family would be coming around to visit them in Ratz. He had no doubt it would be to discuss details on his upcoming nuptials further. It would be what he would do, so this was a beautiful opportunity. 

After all, he would be married soon, so further discussions with them would also soon come to an end. Less things to worry about. 

It’s nothing to do with Leyla, his marriage. It was just something he needed to do. After all, it was the proper path for him, a path he knew he would take one day. 

But should it even come to fruition? 

Just before a slew of unwarranted questions would come spilling out of his thoughts, a sudden knock jolted him out of his thoughts. He turned to his door, and in came a maid informing him of Count Brandt and his family’s arrival.

They’d come earlier than intended. Matthias hummed in acknowledgement, before turning away. Shortly after, he exited his chambers, and came to greet his fiance and soon-to-be-in-laws.

Claudine was as radiant as ever, wearing the latest spring fashion. She looked as fresh as a newly bloomed flower. Even the Duke’s nearby maids couldn’t help but be enraptured by her pleasantly. 

He’d also heard that Claudine performed well last night, she was the most desirable lady in attendance. Truly befitting for the next in line Duchess Herhardt. She even beat the Empress’ daughter, who’d also tried to offer him her hand in marriage. 

But being noble-born, Matthias expected her to do well on such occasions. So it wasn’t as awe-inspiring as it sounded to him, even if the Empress acknowledged her superiority amongst the others. 

Really, the only thing left for them to do was get married officially. It was something both families worked hard to ensure for many years. And one that would ensure that the next generation of Herhardts would grow into more power, and the glory of their family would continue to hold long after they’re gone.

“Oh, Duke Herhardt, I’m very pleased you’re finally here!” Greeted Claudine with a beaming smile, immediately standing up to greet him politely. Matthias only nodded politely towards her in response, languidly approaching them and smiled at his other guests.

Claudine bitterly thought that while he’d been dutiful to her last night, staying by her side, and escorting her wherever and whenever they were needed to, she could tell he wasn’t really paying attention at all to anyone. 

Even as he looked at her, he didn’t seem to find her worthy of any thought at all. 

“Would you all care to join me for a walk in the gardens?” He immediately asked Claudine, wasting no time for niceties. 

Everyone was taken aback by the sudden request, as they all looked at him in confusion, and half with apprehension. It was a very odd request, especially as he’d never done this before. 

Any time they were meeting up, it was always with visiting families, and attendants. He’d never once initiated contact, completely content the Brandt family would be the one seeking him out if they ever need anything done. 

“Y-you mean, just us? The two of us?” Claudine asked for clarification, and Matthias nodded promptly. 

“Yes, my Lady. I wish to speak to you about something.” He told her, his tone indicating he won’t have any qualms telling her anyway even if she were to deny an opportunity for any privacy. 

It irked Claudine very much that she could tell just who he’d been thinking about before the odd request even as he talked to her. 

The least he could do was marry her first, before bringing up the subject of his mistress. 

Unfortunately for many of them, before Claudine could even give him a response, a servant came hollering, calling out loudly for their master’s attention. They rushed in without any preamble, all frazzled and panicked and also…

Terrified. 

“Master!” It was Matthias’ attendant. 

Elysee frowned in displeasure, immediately shooting up to her feet in indignation!

“Have you no manners?! We’re in the presence of our guests! You would do well to make no commotion unless it’s a life and death situation!” She immediately scolded, and the attendant blushed furiously in embarrassment at being openly berated.

Matthias assessed him momentarily, before that uncomfortable churn returned in his gut. His entire frame tensed in anticipation, completely ignoring his mother and went past her to regain his servant’s attention.

“What happened?” He asked harshly, and the attendant’s eyes locked on his before the fear returned to him. 

Now everyone was eager to hear what was happening and watched as the attendant gulped down nervously, and bowed his head deeply in front of them.

“We had received an urgent call from Arvis, my Lord.” He finally said.