Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 126

News about Sienna’s fall spread like wildfire throughout the whole city. In no time, numerous flyers and posters were being rained upon the conquered people and posted everywhere in their ruined homes.

The forces for occupation would soon be arriving.

But Leyla could care less about what was happening in front of her. Everything was still like a dream…

No, a nightmare. All she wanted was to wake up.

She was swaying mindlessly as she walked around the corner of a street, absentmindedly blending in amongst the huddling crowd. She caught sight of the poster and found nothing shocking. It was just as she expected to see.

It was a declaration of surrender, urging everyone to comply with the Berg army as peacefully as possible, and they will be provided with shelter. It also contained a set of guidelines to follow as soon as the occupational forces arrived.

Government offices would seize control of the occupying forces, and double as a storage unit for their ammunition and weapons. Communications would also be set up in them. Any retaliation will be met with an equal hostile force, and no one could leave unless they have an authorized pass to do so, which can only be granted by the highest commanding officer in the force.

All around her was a mixture of fear, frustration, and anger. But Leyla still felt so removed from everything…

The war barely entered her mind as something important.

Nothing left was important anymore. So why should she even care if Sienna was still part of Lovita, or Berg? It was all pointless.

She felt herself get pushed around left and right, still mindlessly walking towards the apartment she once shared with her father.

She trudged up the stairs, limbs so heavy, but her mind so far away from reality. She barely remembered when she reached her apartment. She only realized she had already arrived when she found herself seated at an empty dining table for two.

She stared at the seat across from her, the numbing pain in her chest returning, but the tears long dried up in her eyes.

Her father’s funeral had not been too long ago, but it felt like forever since he had gone and left her behind.

She knew she was wide awake, but everything made less sense than it did before. It all still felt so surreal. She couldn’t even find the motivation to do anything every day, but her body would move without her thinking about it.

She felt like a dying plant, desperately being watered every day to bring it back to life…

But nothing was worth living anymore.

Not unless it meant visiting her father by the makeshift cemetery they had ever since his funeral. It was the only thing that could get her out of the house.

Cold air blew into the hole in her apartment, from where a window once was. She should probably have gotten it fixed by now, but she couldn’t find enough care to even bother.

The skies were a lot bluer without the glass. Normally, she would describe this one to be a beautiful day. It was a crisp autumn morning, the rubble cleared from the streets as busy constructions could be heard outside and by the neighbouring rooms…

But everything felt so faded to her.

She was so… lonely.

She didn’t want to be alone again.

“Uncle…” she called out, her voice raspy from the prolonged unused. “Uncle Bill!” She called out again, a lot louder this time, before giggling to herself.

Why was she amused? She didn’t know, she just felt like laughing.

“Uncle Bill!” She called out for again, in a sing-song voice, before laughing by herself again when only silence met her.

Thump… thump… thump…

She could hear familiar footsteps heading towards her in response, and she turned around to look at the closed door to his room, expecting it to open any moment now! She grinned expectantly as she looked at his room.

But nothing came.

Her grin grew stiff on her lips, but there was nothing but silence around her and her apartment. She turned back to look at the table in front of her and began drawing circles with the gathered dust on top of it, absentmindedly humming.

She missed the annoying sounds of the bell tower. If there was such a loud sound like that every hour, she wouldn’t feel this empty inside.

Anything was better, no matter how annoying the sounds would be, than this complete silence deafening her.

She could always leave Lovita. But Leyla found no energy to do so.

Instead, she found herself plopping back into her bed, eyes drawn to the glass-less window in the room. The window was fortunate enough to not get wrecked into a hole, but the glass remnants still littered on the floor.

She’d been extra careful to avoid them.

It was another thing she needed to get fixed but, what was the point?

Ah yes, winter was coming upon them soon.

Leyla blinked owlishly, eyes slowly gazing up on the plain ceiling above her.

Huh, when was the last time she bought groceries? She couldn’t remember. Food must have run out by now too. What did she eat last?

Was it two days ago? She was certain it had been stale bread. She had to force it down her throat, barely able to swallow and taste it.

The familiar pangs of hunger came over her at the thought of food. Still, she found no reason to get up from the bed. By now, most of the people of Sienna had been confused, their lives uprooted so quickly from what they used to know.

Any day now, the occupational forces would be arriving and making the necessary changes to officially declare Sienna as a city of Berg.

Suddenly, she remembered seeing a grocery store on her way back from the cemetery. But it had also been wrecked in the war, so she doubted she could buy food from there. She knew it was irresponsible of her to be starving herself, especially in her condition but it is what it is.

Oh, Uncle Allen.

She remembered Uncle Allen and his family evacuating from Sienna as soon as her father’s funeral had been finished. They were headed straight for the capital before more forces arrived and prevented them from leaving.

He had apologized profusely to Leyla, even asking her to come with them, but Leyla couldn’t find it in herself to flee. And so they bid each other goodbye, with Uncle Allen apologizing once more for having to leave her alone…

But Leyla could not begrudge them for leaving.

He had been kind enough to offer them shelter when they left Arvis, despite having little to no contact with Bill Remmer. Kind enough to get them back on their feet, so there was nothing for him to apologize for.

She didn’t want to burden him further by tagging along. Not when it hadn’t been too long ago since they first met. Additionally, she couldn’t leave her father’s resting place.

Before he left, he did stop by one last time, leaving her substantial rations and supplies she might need in the immediate future. It was all he could do for her after all. One last piece of grace for their short time together.

Uncle Allen couldn’t even look her in the eye when saying goodbye, Leyla couldn’t help but feel terrible about it. So she thanked him for thinking about her, and wished him safer travels.

And just like that, she lost another family in her life.

Eventually she found herself fishing out the supplies he’d left her, grabbing hold onto a bottle of pickled apricot. Amongst the other things he’d left her with was a box of her father’s things, which he managed to salvage from the wreckage of the warehouses.

She couldn’t find it in herself to open it. She didn’t want any more reminders that he was gone.

And so she popped open the bottled glass of pickled apricot and began to eat it messily, her hunger driving out the care for table manners as she gobbled one after another. She didn’t even bother using any utensils, just using her hands to fish each piece out of the container.

Sweet juices dribbled down her chin and arms, and Leyla found herself smiling as she ate the sweet food…

A hand went up to her cheeks, checking to see if she was crying. It was dry, save for the juice remnants now sticking on her cheeks. This could be like crying too, she supposed.

How selfish it was of her, to keep eating like this. But it did nothing to ease the hunger and exhaustion in her body.

How selfish it was of her to still try so hard to survive, when there was nothing worth living for anymore.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Sienna’s defeat came easier than predicted, with the Lovitan Army immediately losing their morale as soon as their fortress had been breached. It was almost as though they were banking on it to hold up the entire defense of the city.

As soon as the Berg Army broke through, they immediately began to retreat further into the city, effectively trapping themselves for slaughter. As soon as a full-scale exchange of fire and explosions took place, everything began to collapse at an immense pace.

More and more forces of the Berg Army filtered through the opening, quickly overwhelming the Lovitan forces defending the line…

And soon enough, even the Mayor of Sienna had immediately waved the white flag. He stood in front of the gate, welcoming them amicably as he could despite the clear despair in his expression.

His people would be guaranteed safety with their surrender after all. Sienna was only just a place. He would surrender Lovitan control to keep them safe, and would follow every order they would be given.

It was the best choice they had with the hand they were dealt with.

Matthias was amongst the commanding officers who rode on top of a military car. His eyes raked critically at the odd-looking city in front of him.

He could see exactly where the bombs from the air strike had been dropped, and how much damage was done to the city, but generally, the city seemed to be calm enough. He even noted how brighter and serene the surroundings were compared to the foggy sunlight in Berg’s cities.

The procession of the Berg Army continued on, slowly traveling across the city to showcase their arrival. Some soldiers could be seen stopping by the square and immediately enjoying the spoils of war.

One by one each commanding officer stepped down from their vehicles, Matthias following not too far after them. He held loosely his officer cap in one arm during the ride, before putting it back into place as he got out.

He got up last from the stairs, before standing in attention, looking all elegant and pristine in his blue-grey Bergian uniform. So unlike the cruel titles he earned for leading the assaults against the Lovitan army.

How could a cruel man have the face of an angel?

His superiors began their speech, with Matthias instinctively tuning out everything they were saying. He’s heard it a lot of times before. It was the same speech with every territory they occupied.

It wasn’t anything important to listen to anyway. It didn’t concern him enough.

Sienna was also warmer than he expected. But that was fine.

He achieved his goal a lot faster than he expected, but he found his arrival falling a little bit short in expectation. It was a little disappointing despite the beautiful day outside.

Matthias eventually found himself finally relaxing into his stance. His path had been cleared after all. All that’s left to do, was find his Leyla.

Immediately, his eyes began to rake over the gathered civilians in the square. Faces were all despondent and angry, but Matthias barely bothered to remember them. He flashed them all his practised smile, further alleviating him from the monstrous deeds he’d done in front of these unsuspecting civilians.

Upon noticing his smile, the officers beside him began shuffling in nervousness. But he didn’t mind it one bit. He wasn’t interested in them, but he couldn’t hide his glee at knowing he would finally have his Leyla once more.

Still, it must be so out of place for him to suddenly be smiling, wouldn’t it?

As the speech ended, the crowd began dispersing out as quickly as Matthias expected. He loosely took off his cap once more, before steadily stepping down the stage, with no sign to indicate he was in a rush to get down.

He was still as perfect as ever in appearance. All neat and elegant, even in the eyes who see him as a foe.

The war made him bulk back up to his usual body form. He was no longer thin and hollow, but lithe and stronger. In no time, he made a complete recovery while serving in the war, and even his men were amazed at how quickly he bounced back from his seemingly deadly illness.

“Major!” a random soldier began to call out, halting Matthias in his steps as he waited for his subordinate to catch up, “I found her!” He panted out quickly as soon as he stopped beside him, but the random soldier looked particularly proud of himself.

Something darkened Matthias’ eyes at the news, making the soldier cower slightly as Matthias turned his eyes on him. A cold chill ran down his spine as he met those icy blue eyes.

“I -I,” he began to stutter, but Matthias quickly cut him off.

“Where?” he all but snapped at the soldier as he inquired for her.

The soldier couldn’t help but find himself stammering with his words, sensing an odd urgency with his major.

“I-I’m quite sure I saw her,” he scrambled to take out the portrait of Leyla he’d been given, “Yes, Leyla Lewellin! I-I’m sure this is the one who left Berg, and moved to Sienna last spring!”

He then gave him a piece of paper, with a single address written on it.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Leyla had been back in bed, lying like the dead, before finally rousing herself up by the time noon came around.

She found herself fishing out more supplies from Uncle Allen’s parting gift, this time munching on some hard black bread, and boiled beans. She finished both off with a mug of warm water, mixed with some sugar.

It wasn’t enough to satisfy her hunger, but at least she wasn’t feeling as weak as before.

She went back to her room, looked for a clean pair of clothes, and began to wash up and change. A glance outside at the hole in her wall let her know that the day today was warmer than yesterday had been.

She stepped closer to her missing window, eyes looking down at the street in front of her. It was said that today would be the day the Berg Army would be arriving.

Perhaps it was that, but the streets were quieter than before, further making her loneliness more prominent in the absence of distracting sounds. They had been guaranteed their safety if they surrendered, but understandably, everyone was still apprehensive about their presence and afraid.

Huffing out tiredly at seeing no more movement outside, Leyla hummed to herself again, fetching a clean pair of thick, woollen socks, before putting on some shoes. Knotting the laces on tightly, she got ready to go outside.

The weather was warm, so there was no need for her to wrap a shawl around herself.

She didn’t bother locking the door behind her as she stepped out of her apartment in her new routine of visiting her father.

As soon as she reached the streets, her eyes squinted at how bright the sun was today. She placed a hand up to cover her eyes, and huffed out tiredly as she stood in place.

Should she even bother going out today?

No, Leyla thought after a couple more minutes, she needed to see him.

Being outside was much better than keeping herself locked up in silence all day in her empty apartment. It frightened her how alone she truly was without her father. At least in the streets, she could keep her mind more preoccupied.

The noises in the street outside her apartment usually gave her a small respite, but today there was none of that. Everyone was too preoccupied with the arrival of the occupational forces. It was too stifling to stay inside any further.

She’d be better off outside in the heat of the sun.

She hugged herself around her abdomen, trying to recall what her favourite things had been before. She couldn’t help but laugh mirthlessly as one by one, each favourite thing returned to her.

She lost them all in a blink of an eye.

Leyla began to chuckle, holding a hand up against her mouth to prevent herself from being too loud! As soon as her laughter began to die down, it was only then Leyla noticed a second pair of shadows following hers on the ground.

Leyla stared at it for a moment, before looking up ahead of her. Judging by his silhouette, it was an officer, slowly trailing behind her.

And then he stopped, eventually disappearing from behind her. Once again, Leyla found herself alone.

Leyla stopped as well and looked behind her, seeing not a trace of the officer. She tilted her head in wonder.

Did she miss the announcement of a curfew?

Something other than numbness entered Leyla’s body once more. She couldn’t feel anything else but emptiness since her father’s death.

It was fear, but she couldn’t fathom why. And then she spotted him, just off a distance.

It was the officer who’d been following her. She couldn’t see his face clearly, but she could feel his eyes on her. He stood eerily still and made Leyla uncomfortable despite the distance between them.

She could feel her heart beating loudly against her chest.

This feeling…

This trepidation…

It was so…

Familiar.

‘No,’ Leyla thought, feeling her breath leave her the more she watched the unknown officer in return. ‘It’s impossible…’ 

She was only paranoid. Of course, it was a ridiculous paranoia she conjured up after being alone for so long!

The longer she stared, the longer her memories began to warp around his form and unclear face…

Her past melded along with her present. Falsely making him familiar to her. But Leyla refused to entertain more of this line of thought.

It was simply ridiculous of her to even think about it again!

She hastily turned around, unwilling to entertain more of her bad thoughts. She didn’t want to know who that officer was. She needed to leave quickly, and be done with what she needed to do.

As soon as she began walking once more…

The officer moved with her as well.