Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 134

The Major’s woman had changed. It was an observation the soldier-on-duty, who had been tasked to deliver her food every day, could see as plain as day.

When he would stop by to see her, she would usually, and immediately, beg for him to help her escape. Often too, she would ask after Kyle Etman, demanding to know his current condition…

But now, she would only sit in silence, not even reacting as he stopped by, and continue to stare out of the window with a blank expression.

There was no more resisting or starving, or even attempting to break the door anymore. The woman only ate what was given and would sit calmly in wait. She became obedient, and it made his work easier in the process.

He should be happy, but somehow it was hard for him to do so.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” he fretted guiltily as he locked the door and turned to walk away. Things had gotten ansty as of late, it made him severely nervous. He could only go pale the longer he stood in the hallway after doing his duty, before returning to his barracks.

“I think the woman is a little weird…” he murmured absentmindedly, before halting to a thought. “Shouldn’t I say something to him?

“To whom?”

A sudden voice piped up from behind him, making him jump and turn around in haste, before sighing in relief. It was just another soldier.

“To the Major,” he aired nervously.

Though come to think of it, wouldn’t that be useless? He thought before sighing. Surely the Major knew how much his woman changed. After all, he’d been with her the most, he’d be the one most in tune with the condition of the woman he kept under lock and key.

Still, Major Herhardt’s current behavior looked like a person who just enjoyed every moment. He didn’t appear to be bothered by anything happening behind the locked door.

Additionally, it was getting more difficult to talk so callously about the situation. Lately, the Major had been more and more efficient and invigorated in his work. No one wanted to get in the way of his current productivity.

So unless he were to bring it up first, it was becoming an unwritten rule for everyone in the army to not mention even a pip about the Major’s woman.

“I mean she is carrying the Major’s child, or so they say,” the soldier began to reason out, “So doesn’t it stand to say that it is also the illegitimate child of Duke Herhardt?”

A thoughtful look flashed in their eyes.

Was she truly the mistress of the duke who ran away?

The soldier, who carefully examined the empty hallway, shrugged before lowering his voice.

“That’s what people say.”

“Oh, that’s right,” piped up the other soldier, “I heard the woman in the room was originally Medic Etman’s fiance, the son of his family doctor!” exclaimed the other before letting out a low whistle, “But I guess the Duke went and seduced her anyway.”

“Hey!”

Seeing the long shadow approaching from the end of the hall, the soldier on duty urgently hit the side of the soldier standing in front of him. It was only later that he noticed that the man they had just been talking about had finally appeared!

They couldn’t help but grow nervous, wondering if he’d heard their gossip.

Matthias leisurely approached the direction where two frozen soldiers stood in attention for him. It was difficult to reconcile such dirty rumors with a man who was the epitome of great eloquence, elegance, and grace.

They gave him a customary salute as soon as he neared them, and he responded in return, wordlessly dismissing them before finally disappearing into the locked room they were never to open without his permission.

Relieved sighs left them as soon as he was gone. They eyed each other warily before standing both in attendance as they stood in the hallway of the hotel, where amidst the sunshine, they were once again engulfed in silence.

***

Matthias brought a book back with him.

She knew what it was, but she didn’t understand what his purpose in bringing it was, so she settled down and stared at the pile of books on the table.

“Read it when you’re bored,” Matthias commanded nonchalantly of her as though he was speaking to her like a child. He picked up a random book in the pile.

“Here’s a mystery novel.” He hummed, laying it out in front of her, “I’m positive it’s something you will like.”

Leyla continued to sit in silence as he picked up another.

“There’s also a book about birds.”

And so she watched, eyes fleeting over the selection of books and their covers with barely an ounce of enthusiasm. Still, she uttered not a word to him.

Snacks, flowers, books.

All these things the Duke had brought for her. So unbecoming of the reality of her situation, she was having trouble remembering why she was being so stubborn.

But she couldn’t bear to point the oddity out. It was clear to her that Matthias was not aware of what this situation was doing to her.

Covered snuggly in the blankets, and tucked in comfortably in the bed, Leyla found herself opening up the book on top of the pile.

The letters and words danced into oblivion in front of her even as she stared at them. But a good excuse to not face the Duke.

Sitting on the chair across from her, Matthias looked at her on the bed with a satisfied expression. Her loosely braided hair flowed down on slender shoulders, bunching up around her hips as it cascaded down her swollen stomach.

This image of her, pregnant with his child and reading in the sun was peaceful and beautiful.

A few moments of silence reigned between them once more aside from the rhythmic sounds of flipping pages. Leyla looked at him imploringly.

“Let me out for a moment.” She begged him, “I won’t run away. I promise.”

Matthias’ eyes narrowed at her, and a tinge of fear emerged deep within her. He was not pleased with the tranquility being disturbed, even by her.

“I want to go home.” She continued, “To Uncle Bill-”

“Leyla.” He cut her off sharply, his voice low and thick, sending shivers throughout her body. “Don’t you remember?”

He leaned closer to her.

“You don’t have a home anymore,” He told her plainly, “Or family left.”

Standing up, he approached her, gently grasping her chin to keep her eyes on him.

“Don’t you see? I’m your family.” He whispered to her, “Leyla, I’m all you have left, and all you will ever need.”

“No!” the instinctive protest escaped from her, “I-I refuse to believe-!”

His grip on her chin adjusted, tightening up around her jaw.

“It’s a dangerous battlefield outside.” He whispered, turning her head to look at the ruins outside their room, “So stay with me. I’ll protect you.”

Leyla’s head was turned back to look at Matthias. A single thought only ran into her mind.

All the bombings she’d experienced could never compare to the absolute terror this man was to her.

“You have to think about your child.” He implored her instead, rubbing her chin soothingly.

Leyla’s face crumpled at his words, lips wobbling with barely concealed despair.

Whenever talking about the child in her stomach, Matthias’ face would take on such a loving and gentle look. She could almost believe he would be a father who truly loved the child.

But only the contrary was true with him.

He’s a man who only sees the child in her belly as a means to satisfy his greed, to shackle her permanently to him.

What an abominable man.

“Please don’t insult my baby like that!” She seethed, wrapping her frail arms around her stomach stubbornly away from him, “I don’t want them to hear such insults!”

It was a futile effort, but she felt the need to do something, despite how useless.

“You think it insulting?” Matthias hummed thoughtfully, but Leyla knew he wouldn’t understand her plight at all.

“There seemed to be a misunderstanding, Leyla,” Matthias rebutted softly, his gaze dropping to her swollen stomach barely even hidden from him. “I adore the child. Thanks to it, I’d been persuaded not to kill you,” He then smiled roguishly at her, “And thus here we are now, as happy as we can be again.”

She heard no malice in Matthias’ voice. With the way he was now, he seemed to be only laying out the pure, cut-dry facts for her. And once again, Leyla lost another ounce of fight in her at his words.

She could only hide in silence again.

Matthias bowed down and kissed her on her forehead. Then he went back to his seat and returned to appreciating just the sight of Leyla in front of him.

Like she was only a piece of art to be ogled at.

Evening came swiftly, and once more he hugged her and secured her back to bed.

With his bare chest flushed against her back, Leyla noticed her temperature was a little warmer than usual.

“I have a fever.” She pointed out weakly.

Matthias frowned, before spreading a palm on her forehead, checking if she had a fever. Leyla only turned back around, her back now to him once more.

“I feel tired, I want to rest.” She declared.

With a resigned sigh, she squeezed her eyes shut.

Now sitting on the bed, watching her back, Matthias gently reached out to put the tie on the table around her wrist once more. Once satisfied and secured with the knot, he laid back down behind her before encasing her in his arms like a trap.

To Leyla, whom he cherished, Matthias told many stories.

He told her how much he knew what she liked, and how he was going to create a world for her. Should there be no such place among the mansions owned by the Herhardt family, he would build a new one in her name.

He could even buy an island for her if it’s what it took.

“Let’s build a tower, and build it high so it reaches the sky.”

“I’ll keep you with me forever to make our heaven.”

“I’ll give you my world. Leyla, as long as you stay by my side, as you are now.”

“I love you.” He whispered in Leyla’s ear, who’d long fallen asleep dreaming about his sweet tortures.

It was still a confession, one that can only be conveyed in this way for now.

But one day, perhaps soon, he may be able to say it while looking at the beautiful green eyes he’d long wanted to keep on him forever. And that day he eagerly waits for it. Leyla won’t leave him anymore when she learns to stop fearing him.

Perhaps it wasn’t long now. After all, Leyla loved this kid that came from him. As soon as the child is born, and would need its father, Leyla will have no other choice than to accept him.

And he’s more than willing to play the role.

To make a loving family for the child she cherishes so much.

Matthias kissed Leyla’s soft hair, grasping tightly and securely one of her hands with pure joy.

Despite the burning fever against his skin, he only ever had one truth for her.

I love you.

Suddenly there was a sound of a sigh, hitting hotly against the cold chill around them. Repressing the urge to suddenly break down in vulnerability, Matthias buried his face in the nape of her neck, nuzzling it snuggly. The fresh scent of roses flooded his nostrils.

She still smelled so sweet to him.

It’s funny to see himself begging for the heart of the woman who only had hatred for him, but he’s undeniably happy right now, with Leyla in his arms.

The night was lovely.

He looked around with a dazed face, not knowing what to do before he settled on pulling her body flush against him instead, wounding an arm around her to securely her firmly against his body.

She squirmed in his arms, but only for a moment. And he found a sadistic form of pleasure in her mindless resistance.

He chuckled, low and quiet in the night.

But there was a hidden urge in him to cry.

***

Leyla opened her eyes to the sunset. It was a dreamy color that made unrealistic days feel more like a dream. Looking at her forehead, all drenched with cold sweat, she curled up before sighing against the heat.

Her hand went to rub her stomach.

‘Are you okay?’ She asked it, smiling at the soft, fluttering sensation she felt when she stroked her stomach, as if in response to the question. A sense of relief washed over her, along with a minor ache in her bones that began to spread.

The mild fever and chills that began a few days ago were getting worse, she soon noted. She endured well even when she was left alone in the broken house after losing Uncle Bill…

But after her encounter with the Duke, her body and mind felt as if it was on the brink of collapsing. She hated the feeling so much, but her body refused to bend to her will.

Every day was getting scary and difficult to live through.

She felt like this was it.

After Uncle Bill’s funeral, every night that came made her go deeper and deeper into the comforts of sleep to escape the pains in her life. When the house would grow quiet, she was suffocated. And when the strong night wind kept blowing through the broken window, she could only tremble in fear that another air raid would come…

But she still has a baby. She had to protect them, so she tried to hang in there, but there were many moments when it didn’t work out.

Moments even her child wasn’t enough to bring her to care about her life.

And Leyla hated how she truly realized it now she was forever by Matthias’ side.

She was dragged humiliatingly captive. Forced to eat for survival despite her wishes…

-and slept more comfortably in a cruel man’s arms than when she was alone, which sometimes came as an unbearably painful wound.

Above all, she found it unbearable how well the baby had taken to the man who kept imprisoning her.

The baby would soon begin fluttering here and there when they heard his voice. When he’d touched her, she could also feel the baby kick in joy. They moved a lot more with Matthias with her, than they did for her alone.

They didn’t understand how cruel the man was, they were just content with having another being around than just the mother. Because the baby has only ever had just a mother.

Leyla was very upset and guilty about that.

She only found out she was with child once they finally left Arvis. She tried too long, and too hard to pretend she didn’t know that she wasn’t growing a human in her belly…

But eventually, it had grown too big to deny.

Too big to ignore.

As soon as she accepted reality, Leyla grew to find solace with the child, surprisingly. She knew what it meant to have an illegitimate child whose father would never even know its existence, how her life would change irrevocably if she were to keep it!

And what disappointment and sadness she would bring to Uncle Bill once he knew she’d keep the child of her torturer.

So she kept quiet, unwilling to disclose its existence.

She wanted to protect the baby, but she was afraid it’ll look like a lingering regret that she brought to this far place without leaving it in Arvis. Surely Uncle Bill would think so too.

She was so embarrassed.

But it was more crippling to carry the knowledge that she’d never know what Uncle Bill truly thought if she was carrying the Duke’s child. If she had known it would remain such great guilt, she shouldn’t have hidden it from Uncle Bill.

After losing Uncle Bill overnight, the most painful crushing feeling of regret bore down on her chest.

Was the baby lonely like her then? Was that why, even when its father was cruel and heartless, the baby has taken such a liking to him this much?

‘I don’t want you to. You’ll only get hurt.’ 

She implored it to hate their father.

“Leyla.”

She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep, before waking up in confusion. Looking up, she saw Matthias. The lights were already turned on, lighting up the once darkened room.

She thought he was continuing what he was saying, but she couldn’t hear him well over the fog in her ears. There was just a biting chill in the air…

But her body still felt too hot, she soon found herself out of breath even though she was lying still on the bed all this time.

“Leyla.” His voice that kept calling out her name only grew louder. The child’s movement in her belly also grew in strength. They kicked harder and harder every time Matthias called out for her.

‘What if the baby thought their name was Leyla?’ She thought idly before she laughed at the thought.

What a funny mistake it was if that were true, Leyla thought to herself, before the laughter died down.

Soon, only a hot breath escaped her lips, replacing the soft chuckles she’d let out.

He was still calling out her name, and the child was still moving around excitedly, but could only register the mixed sensations all around her.

The heat, the chill, the fluttering in her stomach, and the soothing sensation of Matthias saying her name…

She missed Uncle Bill, she thought belatedly to herself, before her vision soon turned to black.