Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 142

They did not have much time to just stand and take in the sight of each other. In no time, Matthias began to hold on to Leyla as soon as she began to fall.

Without waiting for her expected protests, he carried her limp form in his arms and ran towards the house’s cellar. He had just about enough time to open the basement door and jump down the ladder before the ground above them shook and dust began falling from the ceiling!

The bomb was much closer than before.

Not bothering to find the light in the dark cellar, he immediately put Leyla down, who backed up from the door and leaned her back against the cellar’s wall.

She was dazed, breathing heavily as her body shook with the continued rain from outside.

Immediately he gathered her securely in his arms and drew her away from the shelves where many stored foods were placed in case they fell on her. He caressed the back of her head soothingly, making her rest against the crook in his neck.

“It’s all right.” He murmured soothingly against her temples, breaking the monotone sounds of muffled bombs over their heads. After a while, he felt her begin to pull away, just enough to look up at him.

He cupped her cheeks, and caressed her wet, and flushed skin with the pads of his calloused thumb.

“You’ll be fine soon.” He whispered, resolute and softer.

Even in the dark, she could feel his intense gaze on her, she could see just how deep his eyes reflected his soul, like an ocean inviting her into its depths.

A depth that often made her scared, hate…

And the less acknowledged excitement at the sight of it, especially as he embraced her securely.

Matthias was certain there could be a lamp somewhere to shed some light, but he couldn’t afford to find it. And so, in the thick darkness surrounding them, they endured the long night, relying on each other’s body temperature to keep warm, and their synched breathing for comfort.

The longer they stayed down in the basement, the more Leyla’s eyes gradually got used to the darkness.

Without thinking about it, Leyla reached out for a change and cupped Matthias’ face. She still couldn’t see clearly, yet she could finally make out some of his features. He looked positively unprepared and haggard in front of her.

With her other hand resting against his chest, she could feel his abnormal warmth and sweat rolling down his body, his breathing ragged, and the heartbeat beneath her palms erratic and strong.

He came.

He came running just for her.

There was a sense of glee upon the realization he braved through fields of dropping bombs, just for her. It made her feel safer.

Made her breathe a lot easier than earlier when no one came for her.

The relief, sadness, and indescribable emotions began pouring out of her into silent, crocodile tears.

It was ridiculous how easily she could tell Matthias apart even amidst her blurring visions. Ridiculous how she waited unknowingly in the middle of an air strike for him to come to rescue her and cradle her in his arms.

She had told herself time and again that he would never take her back. And like a fool, she waited for him to come and get her anyway.

She gripped Matthias’ arm tightly, a wordless plea to keep him connected to her when she felt him begin to pull away from her.

“Hold on, Leyla.” Matthias grunted after a momentary pause, “It’s dangerous right now.” He told her seriously before looking off at a distance, through the only small window in the cellar to catch sight of explosions and rubble in the grounds above.

“I’ll take you to Etman as soon as the bombing stops.” He promised her, gripping her closer to him in tandem.

She felt her heartbreak at his words, as her lips trembled at the implication. He was rejecting her when she wanted nothing more than to stay with him.

She immediately began to protest against his wishes with a shake of her head, but Matthias was no longer paying attention to her.

He wasn’t looking at her anymore.

She wanted to ask what he was seeing, and whether or not he was fine, but the words remained stuck in her throat. Instead, she made do with looking at his side profile instead as he surveyed their surroundings…

Not even sparing her a single glance.

Memories flowed along with Matthias’ heartbeat, which deafened her to the sound of the world collapsing around them.

A man who brutally harassed and hurt her. The person she declared to hate the most in the world. The cruel man ruined her life without any remorse.

That’s why she shouldn’t forgive him. Why she’ll have to live without seeing him ever again.

It was a natural thing to do after the abuse he’d put her through.

What she should be doing.

But…

He was also a man who couldn’t be truly cruel to the very end despite his harsh actions towards her.

How could she have ever thought to resist him?

Even with their lives threatened to be over now, she couldn’t help but look and savor this image of his sweet eyes and warm touch. Her mind fought back with those heartless and affectionate moments they had in the past, tangled in sheets and limbs wrapped around each other.

She wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it didn’t work out.

It always had been like this.

She’d always been in love.

Even if she thought it couldn’t be, her heart kept yearning for him to love her. Even if it had gone twisted and distorted, clumsy, or even if she tried to deny it with every fiber of her being, she still loved him with everything she had.

She always belonged to him. Both her mind and heart had already been his. All their moments together could’ve been a fairytale if she’d been honest in the beginning.

And now she’s the one begging him to look at her.

‘Look at me.’ Her mind screamed at him, but no words came out of her mouth. Instead, she reached out and cupped his cheek to direct his gaze back to her.

When he finally glanced down at her, he gave her a look of confusion. She looked at him only in a dazed manner, trying to convey her confession.

But after a few seconds, he turned away from her once again.

Even though he wrapped her tightly in his arms, he refused to see her. As soon as he turned away from her, it finally dawned on Leyla.

She’s always been the one looking at him from afar. Always been yearning to be part of his world. And that the time she spent crying out because of him was not just because of pain and shame…

Shaking the bittersweet memories out of her mind, she reached out once more, urging him again to look only at her, gently yet firmly turning Matthias by the cheek once more.

A mirror of his actions to her from before.

‘Look at me.’

“Leyla.” Matthias pointedly stared at her.

“Baby…” She murmured, finally finding her voice once more.

The sound of shell explosions was still echoing on the ground.

“Name my baby.” She pleaded for him, caressing his cheeks like she once did when she laid naked beside him back in Arvis. Her hands began to tremble as he continued to stare at her in silence, so she pressed on…

“I’ll wait for you,” she told him in a whisper, hot breath reaching up to touch his lips, “I’m going to wait for you with my baby, so give it a name. Please.” She begged him.

Blinking up prettily at him in the way she knew he could never resist.

She would never have been able to start anew.

She just wanted to be with Matthias.

It may be a stupid choice. This might not be normal love even, or a healthy one.

But she didn’t care anymore.

This felt too good, to be in his arms like this, to be the wrong kind of love. She doesn’t believe this love is wrong.

She loved this man. She will only ever wish for this man to be by her side.

“It’s all right now. We’ll be fine.” She told him with a watery smile, tears still pouring out of her in a pleading way even as she wet her lips.

“The baby already loves you.” She cooed at him lovingly, “Since I love you, the baby surely will too!”

“Leyla-“

“I love you.” She finally said, smiling so widely and brightly at him. So out of place from the war and air raid happening outside, even as dust continued to rain down on them, blinding her momentarily as she fought to keep her gaze locked on his.

She denied herself of this for so long. She can’t bring herself to stop now.

She doesn’t want to stop. Ever.

“I love you. You were so terrible to me, and I hate you for it, but I love you anyway!” She confessed desperately to him, clinging to his neck, “I love you!” She cried out in a whisper, begging for him to believe her now.

Because she does. She always will.

No matter what hell he put her through, she’d always choose him.

Something shook deep within Matthias’ core the longer he stared at her pleading form. She loved him?

Does she truly love him?

“I swear if this is another one of your lies again, Leyla, then…. I will kill you.” He growled at her, but she only smiled brightly at him, “I’m gonna kill you, and then myself afterward because I won’t ever be parting from you again.”

“No, I’m not lying.” She grinned widely at him, with a quick shake of her head to dissuade any disbelief he had of her.

“I never lied before either,” She giggled at him, “From the moment I tried to fool you, I already meant everything I told you.”

Matthias continued to stare at her in disbelief, but she continued. This time, she’d tell him how she felt all this time.

“I hated how much I enjoyed everything we did. But I loved all of it. I’ve always loved it. Always loved you.”

One day, she’d give her heart wholly to this man when the war is over. She hated him.

She was afraid of him.

She despised him.

She was hurt because of him.

She was sad because of him.

She wanted to erase him.

She wanted to escape from him.

Sometimes she wanted to die because of him.

But in the end…….

“Then Leyla, you can’t escape me forever.” He grinned back at her, showing her his perfect, pearly whites, and she couldn’t help but giggle up at him now that he believed her. His frown turned upside down into a wide, pure, genuine joy.

Now that he promised he wouldn’t ever let her go again.

She could see now. Her mind and heart didn’t need to be mended back together, because everything was fine now.

This was it.

This was the love she always wanted.

The love of this man.

Maybe she already knew. In the afternoon, when the sea of Sienna was beautifully shining, the moment she saw him coming to her after passing through the hellish world.

“Don’t let me go again.” She told him and brought their foreheads together, then their noses…

Before finally bringing their lips together.

She was back home now. With him, engulfed around her senses, she was forever safe.

They both pulled away, leaving the tips of their noses together as they exchanged sweet smiles.

The crumbling world above them didn’t matter anymore.

“I’ll be waiting for you to come back, and then I’ll forgive you for everything if you come back alive.” She told him sternly with a pout, “I won’t hate you anymore if you do that. And then, we can start all over again.” She finished with an excited grin.

The prospect of their future together…

She can’t wait for the time to come. Belatedly she could tell there was a fast-beating heart in the cellar. Whether it was his, hers, or both, it didn’t matter.

Their hearts now beat together, and that was all that mattered to her.

“Towards that time, without hate or sadness, we just have to start over with only our love.” She whispered against his lips, and he gripped her tighter in agreement, “You can do it. I can do it, so I’m confident. The baby agrees.” She giggled and began to cry once more.

But instead of longing tears, they were now tears of happiness.

Because who else would she love if not him? Who else would she have a family with if not with him?

There had never been anyone else, but him.

Another explosion came nearby, but Leyla found herself no longer scared. She was with him, there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

Their foreheads rested against each other once more as he breathed a sigh of relief. The tension in his body seeped out of his body the more Leyla nuzzled against him comfortably.

This was all he ever wanted. For her to love him back truly.

Unable to help himself, he brought her up to kiss her passionately on the lips.

Now accepting of her feelings, Leyla eagerly participated and moaned against his lips. This was heaven, she thought with a sigh.

Their hands wound around each other’s bodies, roaming and clutching everywhere they could, clinging to each other as if their worlds would end if they don’t cement this moment now.

“Promise me.” She breathed out, as soon as they parted for breath, and looked up at him fiercely in demand, “Promise me that you will come back to us as quickly as you can.”

“Anything for you.” Matthias murmured to her and planted a kiss on the back of her eyelids as her eyes fluttered close. A bright, and beautiful smile spread over her kiss-bitten lips.

“I’ll come back to you.”

“Promise me, and I’ll trust you. I believe in you forever no matter what anyone says. You are a man of your word, are you not?” She demanded of him, and he chuckled with amusement at her.

“I promise, Leyla.” He breathed out with a wide grin of his own and brought her lips back to his, as he hugged her impossibly closer to him. She cried and moaned and sighed against him all night, but he was now complete.

For the distrust and hate and disgust in her eyes, were now filled with open longing and love and acceptance, just for him to see. For him to take. And it was all he ever wanted in the beginning.

“I’ll come back to you.” He breathed out. “I promise.”

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The bombing stopped at the crack of dawn. And as soon as the coast was clear, Matthias wasted no time in leading Leyla through the rubble, hugging her close to him by the waist.

They were long past their due time, and he was certain that no matter how long Kyle and Riette would stall for more in time for their arrival, any more than now would cause suspicion to arise.

The dawn revealed only rubble and smoke in its wake the more the sun rose, but Matthias could not afford for them to stop.

Leyla must still leave this city now, before more attacks come.

It was the only thought pushing him past his limits, even as Leyla was visibly getting more tired from the traveling.

Kyle decided to wait in front of the north gate of the wall surrounding the city. Originally, it was a deserted place, but now that all troops are gathering due to the enemy’s surprise attack, the vicinity has been turned into nothing but a ghost town.

The blue clear dawn light shone on the world, where the debris from wall buildings, and shrapnels from the bombs were slowly revealed to everyone who survived the night. The sound of waves flooded his ears, before Matthias’ rough breathing was all he could take note of!

“Matthias! Come on! We have to hurry!” Riette shouted to a whisper as soon as he caught sight of them.

Matthias need only look at the once to see they just arrived in the nick of time before someone would come to question why they haven’t gone yet. Without stopping for any pleasantries, Matthias immediately rushed to the front of the ambulance, just as Riette swung open the door to receive Leyla’s pregnant form.

But Matthias did not let her go, just gently deposited her immediately in a comfortable position, and wrapped a snug wrap around her shoulders as he sat her next to Kyle.

“Leah.” He spoke up immediately as soon he was done securing her. He squeezed her hand, and brought it up to his lips as he stared into her wide, happy eyes as she smiled at him.

He finally answered her.

She squeezed his hand back tightly, one last reminder of his promise to her.

To both of them.

“And if it’s a boy?” she asked him with a grin.

He merely raised a brow at her, as though he didn’t think it could be anything else but a girl.

“Felix.” He answered plainly after a few beats of silence. Riette’s eyes widened in surprise at the change of air between the two. Even moreso when he realized where the name had come from.

Duke Felix von Herhardt was Matthias’ grandfather. The glorious name of a Herhardt man, who was named as the next successor, and thus led to the creation of the prosperity of the family, which in turn was serving them well for the rapidly changing era.

‘Does Leyla know what it means to pass on the name?’ Riette looked at Leyla, with that thought.

But she only beamed in satisfaction at him, like a good little child who was receiving her well-earned reward. There were tears now flowing down her cheeks, and he noted how reluctant she was to let go, but she eventually dropped Matthias’ hand from hers.

This is how the man who proposed to give the woman everything and the woman who accepted the proposal would part ways. Now, it was the woman’s turn to leave and the man to be left behind.

Damn it.

Riette swallowed a hot breath, spitting out a curse under his breath without realizing it. However, they were out of time for any more sentiments to occur between the couple.

As soon as Matthias stepped back from the ambulance, Riette hurried back to the passenger seat, caging Leyla in securely. With both men beside her, she would now be easy to miss.

Without waiting for more instructions, the ambulance began to move away. Matthias watched them leave, without a glance back to the ruined city behind him.

He was just about to return back to the barracks, when suddenly, the ambulance came to a stop, not a second later, the passenger door flew open, and Leyla came spilling out into a stumble and began running back to him!

He rushed to her immediately, and gathered her into his arms just before she would stumble to the ground!

“Leyla.” He breathed out in surprise, confused as to what she had yet to do. She was only breathing heavily, looking at him wide-eyed and crying. Shaky hands began to untie her braid, and clutched her ribbon.

Wordlessly, Matthias held out his wrist in understanding, watching as she took her time to wrap it securely around his wrist.

He watched her do the same to the birds back in Arvis. And now she was doing the same to him.

That was all.

Leyla couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She believed, if she opened her mouth, she’d only say more, inconsequential things.

Matthias, who alternately looked at Leyla’s face with a white ribbon tied to his wrist, smiled and nodded to her in understanding. It was the same smile with a little playfulness and pride, where he had many moments of holding his breath and looking at it without realizing it.

The alarm to announce the gathering of the army began to ring again, shaking them out of their reverie, and imposing the urgency they forgot they had.

Leyla’s lips began to tremble, unwilling to leave him. Still, he stroked her rosy cheeks, which did not cry, and nodded once again.

“Go, Leyla.”

Smiling as he swept over her hair tangled in the wind, Matthias lowered his head deeply and kissed Leyla’s cheek, which was stained with tear marks

“I love you.” He whispered against her ear, even as the siren of their army threatened to deafen them with its loudness.

That was the last one.

Leyla had to stop turning toward Kyle and Riette, who urgently called her name, telling her there was no time left to waste anymore. Matthias also turned toward the square where the siren rang.

Leyla’s sob, which began the moment she turned away from him, soon came pouring out of her relentlessly. While crying like a child, Leyla walked without stopping or looking back.

She didn’t want Matthias’ steps to be heavy. She thought he would come back lightly if he left lightly. Like the birds of Arvis that she loved, who returned without fail if she waited.

The ruined city showed its terrible appearance in the clear morning sun.

Before turning the corner of the wall, Matthias turned his head and looked at Leyla. The loose blonde fluttered like a wing behind her running back.

Matthias captured the beautiful golden waves in the gray ruins. And then again, he started walking towards the world that was going to be a battlefield.

The Confederate Army, in which Ettar’s troops fought, landed that morning through the Northern Union’s blockade. It was the day when the largest battle began since the war when the autumn sky of Sienna was dazzlingly clear.