Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 148 (END)

The park in downtown Ratz was large enough to contain lakes and forests, giving a peaceful scene for the city’s residents and visitors. A place that could become someone’s healing and personal one, away from the world’s gaze.

The western part of the park, with the most beautifully blended lake and forest, was Leylas’s favourite. The vista from there resembled Arvis at first glance. It sparked a flood of memories, one might say full of pain, but it remained the most beautiful and missed place on earth despite all the pain and suffering it had given her.

That place was still a part of her…

A piece that she would never forget…

Leyla unfolded a blanket, spreading it, under the shade of the tree, and took out the packed baby’s lunch box. The first picnic she went on with Felix, it was just the two of them, yet it was brimmed with care and tenderness.

She didn’t mind that this moment might not be in his memories, as he was still young, but she was assured that he would always carry the fond memories of his childhood with him, and this moment would be one he treasured for the rest of his life.

Leyla had a lot of things she wanted to give her child, the things that include happy moments with his mom, kind words, gentle touches, and a smile. The things she had wanted from her mother but never received them. She wanted to let her child know that there is someone in the world who will love him no matter what, someone who would be there for him against all odds.

Just like Uncle Bill did for her.

She would do everything for her baby.

Leyla would take on two jobs till he returned, eat well, laugh a lot, and cheer up. She would never make him a child who was half-loved without a father.

Never.

Leyla opened Felix’s lunch box before digging into her own. She watched him, happy and content, as he played cheerfully after his meal. His being focused helped her as she could eat peacefully without a need to rush.

The child crawled over to her when she took a mouthful of fresh peach, she had bought for dessert, sweet and delicious. He tilted his head, grazing at his mother through big blue eyes, every time she bit into and chewed on the peach.

Leyla looked at him, blue eyes staring back, in a daze. She saw the face of the familiar man staring back, the memory of the man superimposed on the child’s face grew uncontrollably large and clear.

All she could see was him… the same blue eyes that once looked at her with hope.

“I’ll be back. For sure.”

He made a promise, the promise, she was waiting to be fulfilled.

“I love you.”

A confession to which she had not answered. She didn’t know why but as she stared at the blue eyes, her lips parted, as she uttered the same words the man had once.

“I love you…”

Leyla lifted her glasses and discarded them on the blanket,  before turning to the child and whispered.

“I love you so much.”

The moment she confessed, she felt unfamiliar like something had changed. Perhaps, because she could utter those with sincerity, and meant every word.

The child giggled, maybe he loved hearing his mom’s confession. A smile formed on her lips, eyes brimmed with tears, as she cradled her son in her arms warmly and protectively.

The baby’s sweet smell touched the tip of her nose as the child provided her mother happiness with his blissful giggles. And Leyla hugged him tighter even,  feeling content with her son in her arms.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Two feet stopped at the entrance of an apartment, the man stared at the door. He lifted his hand, bringing it closer to the door, to knock.

“Hey, are you…” Just passing by the neighbor’s house, the woman gave the man with an oddly suspicious gaze. He stopped, disturbed by a voice, as he turned his head in her direction. “Did you come to see the baby’s mother who lives in this house?” Her question, voiced with a look of relief, was tinged with wary interest.  The man, with cautious, turned his attention to her.

“Yes.” He answered short.

“The blonde little baby mother in the glasses. Is that right?” Another question, she asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh, you must be a baby daddy who went to war! Right?” She, who was looking at the man’s face carefully, shouted with delight.

He must be the baby daddy. Oh my… 

The woman thought, her brows raised, without waiting for a response, she scrutinised him and immediately began to fuss. “What should I do? Her husband came back from the battlefield and she went out.”

“Is her house empty?” he asked, voice deep and serious, glancing at the door.

“She went out with her baby earlier. I heard they’ll go on a picnic in the park.” She clapped her tongue with regret. Even at that moment, her gaze wandered over the man’s face, who lifted his brows, gazing back at the woman.

‘So Leyla was true when she said that her son looks nothing like her. But, his face looked familiar. Where the hell did I see that guy before?’ She thought. “Well, the baby’s mom often goes to the park. It usually comes back around sunset. Why don’t you wait at my house until then because we’ll be in trouble if the roads cross?”

“No, thank you.” The man declined the offer, looking in the direction of the park for a while, he came down the stairs and stopped in front of her. “Thank you, ma’am.” The man nodded and passed past her without so much as a backward glance. A black car was waiting at the curb, and as he got closer, an occupant hurriedly opened the back door

He was clearly no average Joe. She spent a long time staring after the car as it drove away, unable to escape her unsatisfied curiosity.

“It’s definitely my first time seeing him.” The afternoon breeze carrying her murmur ran up the quiet weekend afternoon road.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The child, who had a good day of eating and playing, drifted off to sleep with an angelic face beside his mother. Leyla watched her son, lying face to face  as he dozed off. She lifted her hand and caressed his head.

The child’s hair was in mess and she could clearly see, the fingerprints stamped on the glasses, through her blurred vision. Leyla cautiously approached the end of the blanket. She began fixing her glasses and wiping them off, then loosened her messy hair.

It seemed that the child had the same fondness for her hair as his dad had. It wasn’t simply his appearance that resembled that of his father; he seemed to have adopted many of his father’s quirks. Of course, his kid is more aggressive in his approach.

He probably found something intriguing about her dazzling blonde hair, so when Leyla held him in her arms, he grabbed her hair and pulled it. He was happy and smiling cutely but she felt sorry for loose strands of hair that had-been-tugged-without-mercy in his chubby hands. There was a time when she hated if someone  would, by mistake, pull her hair. She never thought a time would come, she would be happy with her hair pulled out.

With a smile on her face,  Leyla began to gently untangle her messy hair using her fingers as a comb. It was useless to tie or braid, so she thought she would rather cut it short, but he didn’t like it. The fine blonde hair flowed down her shoulders and back, gracing her beauty, wrapped in the collar of a white dress.

For a second, Leyla stopped paying attention to the braid in her hair and instead stared blankly at the late afternoon sun filtering down through the verdant leaves. The calm water of the lake was also colored brilliant gold as the soft waves played with light.

“Pretty.”

A modicum of awe flowed out of her lips at how the world looked; serene and lovely, like something out of a painting, as if those hellish days when shells rained down from the sky and shots rang out, were nothing more than fleeting dreams.

Leyla sat in silence with her curled knees to her chest, her eyes drifting over the lake and the birds gliding lazily over it. Wild rose bushes wafted their pleasant scent on the breeze as it blew across the park. The rustling of the thick leaves in the wind seemed eerily reminiscent of a bicycle chain.

It was a perfectly beautiful summer day, yet for some reason…

It felt so weird…

Unfamiliar.

Memories of  the blue-eyed man stuffed her heart.

‘How could he do this to me?’

‘He’s not here. He’s not coming back.’

Her eyes narrowed, staring at nature when the child’s cry roused her. She looked at Felix, who had just woken up, was looking into the air and crying. She soon realized why her child was so upset : The balloon, which had been tied to the stroller’s handle, flew away in the wind and hung between the branches of the tree. The rope seemed to have come loose.

“It’s okay, Felix!” Leyla soothed the child in a powerful voice, caressing his chubby cheeks. “Don’t cry! Everything’s okay!”

Perhaps surprised by his mother’s courage, the toddler stopped weeping. After wiping her son’s tear-streaked face, Leyla sprang to her feet and ran over to the tree where the balloon was hooked.

“Wait a minute! I’ll get it for you!”

True to her word, she’d do anything for her child’s happiness.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Finding Leyla was easy. He felt strange as he couldn’t believe he had found her in this big park, with one vague clue that she was somewhere.

But he did.

He found her, sitting on a blanket under the shade of a tree, as she watched the scenery of the forest and the lake calmly. A place where it was difficult to be crowded because it was too remote. Even she played up her bravery, he knew his beautiful bird was actually quite timid.

Matthias then recognized the existence of another person, his child. While he was still watching his son, Leyla began to go somewhere with a strong step.

Left alone, the child tilted his head and looked at his mother’s back. Matthias took another step towards him. By the time he reached the side of the blanket, Leyla had already made it to a tree standing a short distance from it.

Just when he was beginning to wonder she was going to do, Leyla started climbing the tree. Matthias noticed a balloon dangling from a low-hanging limb, and finally realized what she was trying to do.

He picked a low, low laugh, and the child sitting quietly in the blanket raised his head. Matthias followed the child’s gaze and turned to look at him.  The child arched his brow and gently blinking his eyes.

Matthias looked at his son, before turning his attention to Leyla, who was seated on a branch and preparing to catch the balloon.

And he began to take an unhesitating step toward her.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Though it was difficult for Leyla to reach the balloon, she was able to just barely grasp the string through the tree’s thin, looming branches. She smiled to herself at the accomplishment as she descended, landing on the ground safely.

“Felix! Look at this! Mom…”

Leyla, who had turned her head at the sudden noise, was frozen. She could not form coherent thoughts, let alone speak the moment her gaze met blue eyes.

A man stood not too far from the tree.

He was looking at her as he stood alert, with his back straight, and an arm behind his back. Their eyes met and he tilted his head, almost as if in invitation.The rather crooked and playful gesture, was in stark contrast to his elegant appearance.

Leyla gasped. She had suspected, but now she was sure.

It was him.

He has returned.

Her heart thundered in her ribcage, fighting to jump into his arms. Her head, though, remained blissfully blank as she stared at him. It was ridiculous how her mind was in denial , and yet her heart had reacted to his presence.

It was him, in the flesh – there was no doubt.

It couldn’t be anyone but him.

He was here. 

Leyla stared at him, still clutching a balloon. She had placed a hand on the tree for support, and it continued to tremble like a leaf as she stood in a trance. The beady blue eyes crinkled near the corners as they continued to gaze at Leyla, indicating a smile.

Wordlessly, he slightly raised the hand that had been behind his back. There were ribbons tied in the sleeves of the jacket and shirt, and they fluttered in the soft evening wind.

It was very scenic, but still…strange…

She had dreamt of this moment every single day without fail, conjuring up fantasies of the second their eyes would meet again. She had had enough time to play out each scenario over and over: how she would welcome him, wrap him up in her affection till it got hard to breathe for both of them.

She had it all planned out, so why ?

Why were her feet frozen?

Why was her mind empty now, when she had thought of nothing else for so long?

Perhaps, there was no answer, not that she wanted, or he needed one.

Leyla bit her lips, trying to control the tears that brimmed in her eyes, and just used all her strength to stare at him. Matthias’s signature grin graced his face as he slowly opened his arms, unsure if that was the right move.

She couldn’t comprehend whatever happened next, and even her memories of the next few minutes were blurry, the details dim.

All she remembered was her feet treading on the ground, tears streaking down her cheeks, and running towards him. Her vision may have been a blur, but her heart could see and feel with perfect clarity.

Her golden hair was flowing as she ran towards him,faster, and faster, like he would disappear if she even paused to breathe.

Her heart continued to thump, erratic and unstoppable. She might as well have been choking on the words she had prepared for him, yet they refused to make their way to her lips.

The moment she finally landed in his arms, a soft cry escaped her, not unlike the sound of a child that finally finds its beloved object after searching for so, so long.

All her speeches and declamations went down the drain. Just one word was enough. Her one truth: Matthias.

“Leyla,” he murmured, tightening his arms around her, pulling her closer as if they could melt into one. A balloon, that she had missed, rose high with the wind. Its string mimicking the ribbon tied on Matthias’s wrist.

The child looked at the pretty balloon floating around, with eyes that resembled his father’s. He watched the balloon float away, pouting and grimacing as if his tears had the power to bring it back. His mother certainly did.

The balloon flew higher into the sunset sky and eventually disappeared from view. The child’s eyes, sparkling with curiosity, turned to his mother and father who were still wrapped in embrace, even as his mother continued to weep.

The child kept turning his head from side to side, seemingly in pain, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not to cry like his mom. Eventually he burst a broad smile.

The lake was calm and clear as the birds slowly circled above the still water, the sky above them was a vibrant palette of reds, oranges,

The bird is back.

It was a long and pleasant summer evening with little to do, and they for sure would make the most of it.