Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Chapter 99

Matthias found himself immensely surprised as soon as he swung the door open when he heard her knock on his door. He stood in front of the doorway in bewilderment, wide eyes staring at her from head to toe.

She wasn’t the Leyla he had grown used to seeing.

All of a sudden she was here, in front of him. All dressed in the clothes and gifts he’d long given her. Gifts she had sworn off of.

“May I come in?” She asked him in that cautious melodic voice, looking up at him through her curled lashes, blinking them so enticingly.

Finally, Matthias stepped away, letting her in, widening the door for her to enter.

“Wait here for a moment.” Matthias softly commanded her before he strode back into his drawing room. He could sense Leyla begin to follow him quietly.

Upon Leyla’s entrance, she saw multitudes of papers strewn across the table. There was a stack of other papers and documents in one corner table. It was as if he was in the middle of doing his work.

“You must be very busy.” Leyla remarked softly as she looked around. Matthias only spared her a glance before he expertly stacked some of the papers neatly on his desk.

“Only a little.”

“Perhaps I should return at a later time?” she lightly suggested, when Matthias shot her a knowing smirk, before plopping himself languidly on his sofa.

He crossed his legs, spreading his left arm onto the backrest as he leaned back and looked at her with sharp blue eyes. He casually brought over the folder with his right towards him, flipping it open.

“Don’t bother.” He said, “You can rest just fine here if you like to.” He invited, and Leyla’s eyes narrowed in his direction.

“There’s no need for me to rest.” Leyla reassured him, taking a seat on the sofa right across from him, her hair swaying with her every move in a graceful manner. “I can wait just fine for you to finish.”

And so she did. She sat patiently and quietly across from him, still dressed and well-poised. Matthias couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at her, still drinking in the sight of her in all the things he’d given her.

She hardly looked like the Leyla he knew. No, there was a more powerful air around her, one that screamed neither in helplessness nor support of him.

Kyle. The name was right at the tip of his tongue, tempting him to speak the name. He wanted to test her. He wanted to see how she would react if he were to say that name to her now. Especially after this unexpected makeover.

But he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to destroy this image Leyla was portraying just for him. Not when she’s at the precipice of acting so docile to him on her own volition.

He went back to work, a smile settling neatly on his lips as he scanned through his documents.

Sounds of papers flipping started filling the room, with the occasional rustling of clothes. Fire was cackling in the background as well, the firewood burning into embers. The air around them was almost peaceful.

But Leyla didn’t want to get too ahead of herself. To keep her jitters down, she picked up a nearby newspaper on the table beside her and flipped through its contents. On one of its pages, was an article talking about the resource market fluctuating because of the current unstable situation internationally.

She felt herself beginning to calm down, and eventually discarded the article. She hardly understood what it was about, so instead, she looked up to observe Matthias. He was still focusing on his work.

Leyla couldn’t help but keep staring at his frame, his features being illuminated by the subtle orange light from the flames.

He was still in the same position as before, but now she was beginning to feel that sense of intimidation wafting out of him despite how serenely he looked. He really did have the perfect profile of a royalty.

As though he was born with the world being offered beneath his feet. And he’s owning it.

She wrung her finger in front of her in secret, biting her lower lip in thought as the anxiety was rising up in her again.

‘Can I do this?’

 She asked herself.

‘Do I really have what it takes to break such a powerful man?’ 

She gulped nervously, gaining Matthias’ attention, who looked up at her direction in that instance. She jolted in her seat once his eyes landed on her, but she didn’t dare look away.

They stared into each other, with Matthias carefully looking over at her, before he flashed her a small smile. It was that moment that Leyla could feel hope bloom in her chest.

That she could do this.

Because as powerless as she was, she was relieved to see how much the Duke wanted to keep her with him too. It was a toxic possessiveness, but one she could use to her advantage. The more she would encourage his attachment to her…

The more painful the hurt would be at the end.

She couldn’t understand why it took her so long to realize this. His lust for her was a double-edged sword. He was hurting her because of it, but she could just as well use it against him too.

She looked back up at him, having failed to notice how her gaze fell back to the ground.

He’d taken all her precious firsts from her.

When he had forcibly taken her first kiss from her, not even a week later, she heard he’d gotten engaged to Claudine. At that time she was already engaged to Kyle, but she couldn’t deny the stinging in her chest at that knowledge.

And as if that wasn’t enough, he proceeded to be the key reason why her marriage to Kyle fell off, through the use of cowardly tactics. And now he’d be marrying someone just as beautiful as she was cruel.

Those two were perfect for each other.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Matthias wondered out loud, the smile still firmly on his lips, yet he looked at her with a sharp glint in his eyes. Leyla held his gaze for a moment, before taking a deep breath.

It was time for action.

“I heard you ordered Uncle Bill to work in Ratz, and you want me to go with him.”

Matthias nodded, not even denying it as he went back to his papers.

“Although I will argue that it was a suggestion. Hardly even an order.” Matthias argued nonchalantly.

“I think otherwise.” Leyla reasoned back, “You knew very well this so-called suggestion would be difficult. And so you used my uncle, to further my becoming more into your mistress, even beyond your marriage to Lady Brandt.”

Matthias chuckled softly, looking up at her through his lashes.

“Is that what you think?”

“Hm, you really are a despicable person.” Leyla hissed softly in a shaky voice.

Finally, Matthias closed the folder he was holding and set it aside. He then tilted his head towards her, interest seeping through his eyes the more he observed this new Leyla in front of him.

“Are you even aware of how despicable you are?” She asked rhetorically, not expecting an answer as she tried to blink back the welling tears. And Matthias didn’t even deem it important enough to answer her.

“Are you aware of how much I despise you?” She slowly got up, and slowly stalked towards him. The corner of her eyes were glinting as the firelight bounced off of her tears. Matthias only chuckled at her words, finding her completely amusing, though half in despondent as well.

It flashed only for a moment, before that amused glint was back in his eyes. Leyla hardly noticed it. She was drawn to the way his breathing began to get ragged.

“Since you’re all knowing, you would understand my next words too, won’t you?” She asked him softly, eyes trailed on his hands as it slowly went up to loosen his tie around his neck.

In Matthias’ mind, he was absolutely prepared for her usual tirade of how much she hated him, how much she despised him and was ruining her well-built life. But what she said next came completely unprompted and caught him completely off guard!

“Do you know just how difficult it is to love such a man as much as I hate you?” She asked, stopping a few paces in front of him, barely an arm’s length away.

Matthias’ brows crinkled at her statement.

“What?”

He looked up at her in confusion, and saw the raw hurt and vulnerability in her eyes. She couldn’t possibly be lying. Not when she looked so unsure in front of him all of a sudden.

She was a terrible actress. He’d witnessed that first hand. She couldn’t be faking this.

“I do,” She admitted to him softly, voice just above a whisper, “I tried to stop it so much and deny it, but I found myself inexplicably attached to you as well.”

Matthias watched her in shock, words unable to form in his mouth as something began to stir deep within him with her words.

He hardly understood what was happening right now.

“What I said to Kyle back then, that wasn’t a lie.” She continued, “Because I do, I love you so much that I hated the thought of it!” her voice cracked…

‘Am I doing it?’ Leyla thought desperately to herself, ‘Am I succeeding in deceiving him?’

The anxiety in her and the nervousness helped in her portrayal of how much her supposed love was tearing her up inside. It let authentic tears slip through her eyes, further selling the story she wished to tell Matthias.

“So I’m telling uncle to accept your offer, and I will go with him to Ratz.” She declared firmly, “I’ve long been so ashamed of my feelings for you, I wanted nothing more than to run away and escape this undeniable truth… but it’s getting harder and harder to deny myself this…”

Matthias hung onto her every word, slowly rising to his feet. She looked up at him with a tear streaked face, and he wasted no time in backing her into the table behind her, trapping her within his arms.

Her breath hitched as she looked up at him in surprise. The hungry beast in him awoke, and his mouth watered at the sight of her beneath him…

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He asked her softly in a sultry voice, and Leyla shivered in his arms, “Are you finally accepting into becoming my mistress?”

Leyla felt herself flush at the growing intensity in his eyes, and she couldn’t deny the way he was looking at her made heat pool in her gut. She looked down, blinking the tears away, yet his gentle grip caught her, forcing her to look at him.

A lone tear ran down her cheek, as she bit into her lower lip and nodded shakily at him. Her heart was pounding deep into her chest, she feared the Duke had heard it and would give her away.

She wished desperately for her success!

‘Just this one thing!’ She thought harder, ‘Let me succeed in deceiving him!’

“I do have a condition,” Leyla finally spoke out, regaining her voice as she grabbed firmly onto his arm, and Matthias’ gaze narrowed towards her.

“Condition?”

“You once told me you don’t enter deals that won’t benefit you.” Leyla reminded him, “Well, I want something in return as well.”

Matthias seemed to contemplate this, watching her carefully before his sharp gaze softened up. Leyla felt a new wave of hope blooming inside her.

“Well, are you willing to listen to my conditions?” She asked again.

“Then speak your mind.”

“Give me your word first.” She demanded and Matthias raised a brow up at her.

“You want me to agree to a condition without knowing what the stakes are?” He asked her, his eyes narrowing at her in suspicion once more, “Who do you think you are to demand such a gamble from me?”

Leyla knew he would be like this. She’ll have to appeal to that primal instinct in him then.

“I’m Leyla,” She crooned softly up at him, “Your Leyla, am I not?” she asked, one of her hands letting go of his arm, to cup his cheek tenderly. Matthias leaned into her hand, almost nuzzling into it, before he began to chuckle at her boldness.

Leyla fervently wished she wasn’t acting too much, and that he would bite the bait she laid out for him.

Matthias had seen many beauties in the world. The river in the night, the lights on his ceiling, and the rows and rows of luxurious paintings in the hallways…

But none as beautiful as Leyla.

“Tell me then Leyla,” he crooned right back, looking into her determined eyes.

“Give me your word first.” She demanded once more. She was hanging off his neck, her arm draped around his back as her other hand gripped tightly into his arm.

Matthias let out a genuine laugh, his eyes wrinkling in delight.

“Your wish is my command.” He told her softly, “Speak to me Leyla.”

He cupped her cheek instead, his grip on her chin falling away. He looked deep into her emerald eyes, which seemed to be reflecting back his own happiness.

“I give you my word.” He promised her.

‘Finally.’ Leyla thought in relief.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Norma paused for a moment, and looked over to her grandson in shock. Even Elysee, who had been leisurely minding her own business, listening to classical music at the side, seemed to be taken aback as well.

Only Matthias seemed unbothered by the news he’d just given them.

“You’re really sending Bill Remmer to live in our Ratz Mansion?” Norma inquired over to her grandson, finally breaking free of her shock. Matthias hummed and nodded at her.

“That’s right.”

“This is all unexpected for you Matthias,” Elysee finally piped in, “Why the sudden decision?”

Matthias looked over to his mother’s direction.

“I’ve noticed how unhappy you’ve been with the old gardener since the incident happened.” Matthias began to explain, “But I won’t deny how useful he’s been in maintaining the gardens, but Arvis is too big and he’s getting older. Ratz would be far easier for him to maintain.”

“Well, that is true, but…” Norma trailed off, looking equally helpless as her daughter-in-law. The two current Duchesses remained silent, while Matthias took a calm sip of his coffee, before placing it back down in front of him.

He saw no reason to further delay his plans, not when Leyla’s being so agreeable recently. He also saw no further reason to keep their relationship a secret. She’s made her decision after all.

“Then make me your lover.” She told him as soon as he’d given her his word. “As soon as you tie the knot with Claudine, I can’t keep living in Arvis, which means I could never come back.” She laid out for him.

She looked absolutely heartbroken when she said that. And Matthias couldn’t exactly deny her. Arvis was the well-known house and Herhardt undisputable property. Which meant it housed the official members of the Herhardt house, which includes the Duke’s legal wife, the Duchess.

This was how it had always been, and how it would always be.

No mistress had any place in Arvis. Matthias knew that very well.

“So until your marriage, while we’re still here in Arvis, keep me as just a lover.” Leyla asked him, “Before you hide me away in the shadows of Ratz, let me bask in the sunlight until that time comes.”

But Matthias couldn’t understand. How different was a lover from a mistress? As far as he knew, there wasn’t any. But Leyla seemed to think otherwise.

“-hide me away in the shadows-” her watery voice echoed in the back of his mind, something unsettling in him at the thought of her being hidden.

Did she really have to voice it that way? It was so unbefitting for her, who needed to be shown off in the light.

There was no way Matthias would keep her hidden. She thrived in the sunlight. She shined so brightly, she had blindsided him with her beauty. He wanted to keep that light in her burning, even more…

To keep her burning for him.

Yet she was right. A mistress will always remain in the shadows of his wife. And that drew a slight frown in Matthias as he thought of that for the first time.

‘Will she really be alright?’ Matthias wondered, ‘Will she remain shining just as bright as she does now if I keep her in an eternal shadow?’

He’d drawn her into his arms that night, hugging her into his chest and she settled in his arms just right, fitting perfectly the gaps between them.

If he had the choice, he’d never stifle that light. Let everyone see her for who she was.

She was his.

“Well I can’t deny your reasoning, even if it was a little sudden for you.” Elysee remarked softly, humming in thought, “But if Bill goes to Ratz, what happens to his foster daughter here?”

“She’s going with him.” Matthias answered just as quickly, “I offered Bill that I would sponsor Miss Lewellin’s education under the family’s name in that college she was going to apply to.” He elaborated.

“You’re sending her to college?” Elysee gasped in aghast, “And under the family’s name!?”

“Yes.” Matthias replied, completely unbothered, before he looked over to his grandmother, “I happened to recall grandmother’s wish to sponsor her last year. So I extended the offer.”

Norma seemed taken aback that Matthias remembered that. She had almost forgotten she said it.

“Well, y-yes, I did mention that…” Norma was unable to deny it.

When the old Herhardt matriarch had heard about the young woman’s broken engagement with Kyle, as well as her college admission fund being stolen, she had expressed her willingness to sponsor Leyla instead.

“Very well, though I will state, whatever decision both Bill and his foster daughter reach in regards to moving to Ratz must be respected.” She expressed.

Matthias allowed himself to smile minutely, which hadn’t gone unnoticed by the two women who had raised him. Both Duchesses exchanged glances at each other, but opted to not point it out.

Not out loud at least. They didn’t have the right words as of currently.

“I’ll take your words into advice.” Matthias calmly replied. He gave them a respectful bow, before swiftly making his exit out of their shared drawing room. He still had much to do in the afternoon.

Unbeknownst to him, as soon as he left, both his mother and grandmother shared their own conversation.

His mind was too caught up in thought. Leyla’s voice still echoing prominently against his purposeful steps, even as it echoed in his empty halls…

“-hide me away in the shadows-”

Alas, that statement never suited her at all.