Cry, Even Better if you Beg - Side Story 5

Leyla finally had the weekend she had been dreading. It was a weekend that came with the promise to dash her hopes against the ground and rise her fears she buried in her heart alive.

Yet, Elysee von Herhardt was the first ray of hope, shining like a distant star.

Elysee wanted to introduce her new family to her relatives at the tea party she was attending with Felix. Leyla would often have felt anxious about going to a social event with her mother-in-law, but this time was different. She had grown interest in such gatherings, and Elysee had excitedly encouraged her daughter-in-law to attend. Leyla was asked questions but before she could even answer Elysee’s query, Matthias had an answer, shielding her like an armour.

“My dear wife and I had made prior arrangements for that day.’’ He said in a soft, authoritative voice.

Elysee von Herhardt shrugged, “Then there’s nothing more to be done,” adding, “But Felix must come with me, everyone is eager to see him.” Matthias complied with her request and said, “Of course, Mother, you may do as you wish.” In this finalised plan, Leyla’s hopes dissipated like wisps of smoke into thin air.

While she felt sorry for Matthias not getting a proper break, Leyla secretly hoped that the Duke’s schedule would stay as hectic as ever, even better if he returned on a particularly dark night.

Matthias’s demanding career reignited a glimmer of hope within her. While he was supposed to be on vacation, he continued to work, talking with executives on the phone and travelling to Carlsbar for meetings. Leyla couldn’t help but wonder how many more visitors the Duke of Arvis would receive.

As the afternoon resigned like a short lived guest and Matthias failed to come home for tea, Leyla’s hope only grew stronger. She couldn’t help but hope that he wouldn’t return. However, her fantasies evaporated, as a word from the butler brought the news about her husband.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

“Matthias, you’re back early,” Norma said, setting down the teacup and smiling warmly at her grandson.

After greeting his grandmother, Matthias turned his head slightly to look at Leyla, who was seated across from him. “Right. You mentioned that you had a meeting with Leyla today,” Norma reminded him, unaware of Leyla’s emotions. “Are you going out with someone?”

“No, I decided to teach her how to swim in the annex,” Matthias replied.

“What? The Duchess going for a swim in the river?” Norma startled and asked, scowling at the idea.

Leyla’s heart began to pound like a hundred drums together with immense excitement at the prospect. “Oh, Matthias, my goodness. That is ridiculous,” Norma said.

Leyla discovered for the first time that words have the power to bring joy in one’s life, even for a fraction of a moment. She thought that the elderly woman would be adamantly opposed, but to her surprise, she was kind-hearted.

“Oh, that’s correct. Since our time, the world has changed. The Duchess should learn to swim since it’s a trendy hobby” suggested the elderly lady.

Leyla tightened her grip on her skirt, fighting the urge to yell, ‘Excuse me, Grandma?’ yet she resisted waging war against her impulse.

The elderly woman smiled softly as if consoling her anxious grandkids and said, “I don’t understand it, but I won’t force it on you. Enjoy yourself, Leyla.”

Matthias drew near as soon as Leyla’s last hope vanished. He calmly extended his hand, giving off the impression of a predator lurking nearby with its prey.

Leyla sighed quietly while holding his hand reluctantly. It was a time when Matthias von Herhardt, who was known for always keeping his word, displayed some animosity.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

‘’Isn’t it time you are prepared?’’ Matthias checked the time and questioned Leyla, who shook her shoulders and stepped up to the railing of the balcony.

“Could you give me a moment to think it over?” Leyla asked, her voice barely audible due to her tense demeanor, still hoping that Matthias might change his mind.

Matthias leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, displaying patience for his wife. For almost an hour, Leyla faced the river as if it were a foe that haunted her, in her dreams and in her waking. On the way to the detached house, she’d been bold and courageous, but now she seemed terrified, her bravery dripping, fading away from the creaked holes of her heart.

Leyla took a deep breathe “By the way,” and turned around. “Isn’t there a reason why people must be good at swimming?”

She wondered, eager, what would her husband say.

Leyla kept talking on with a rather serious face. “You just have to be careful not to fall into the water, right?”

“But don’t you know if unexpected situations happen?” Matthias asked, his voice filled with concern.

Leyla’s eyes squinted as she struggled to come up with a counterargument. ‘’That unforeseen circumstance was brought on by you!’’
The angry comments poured out more forcefully like a volcano. Matthias presented a look to Leyla that didn’t convey either denial or embarrassment, his face drained of emotions, cold like Antarctica.

“You weren’t going to forget, right?”

Matthias answered, cautiously getting out of his chair, “No, I remember. I want to teach you how to swim because of that exact event.’’ He leaned on the railing and reeked of water mint, which grew by the river. ‘’But Leyla, I can’t make you do it if you genuinely don’t want to.’’ He gave her a respectful glance as a sign that he would respect whatever choice she chose.

When he claimed he would respect her decision, Leyla knew he truly meant it.

It was evident in the way he regarded her, gazing deeply into her emerald green eyes, deeply like an ocean.

Leyla let go of the railing and stood up, saying, “I don’t know. It’s not that I dislike it, ‘’ though.

That much was certain to her. She had the option to refuse numerous times if she truly desired to yet she didn’t want to. She wanted to learn to defy her fears.

“And I’m terrified of the water. Of certainly, you contributed greatly to my fear of it, but it doesn’t mean you alone are to blame.” Leyla stopped gazing up the river, as if attempting to block out the recollection of having caused her anxiety.

Back in time, her cousins said to her, their words innocent yet terrible enough to cause hurt, “If you want to live here, you have to go through an initiation rite.” The words kept ringing in her ears like a disease.

“If you don’t want to do it, get out of here.”

She was bullied. The oldest and biggest boy laughed like a devil dragging her while grabbing her braided hair.

Leyla was captured by the kids like a Hyena captured by a lion to be devoured, making her plans to run away a compete failure. She got wounded, her body slathered in blood and plastered in mud from roll and fall while dodging her to the cruel edge of river.

Every minute was a torture there.

She was the subject of her uncle’s sudden cursing and beating, and the horrible bullying of all the kids in the family. She also struggled with the torment of hunger they inflicted, which forced her to raid the garden for vegetables like a criminal in punishment.

Despite all the torment she went through, Leyla couldn’t bring herself to utter “I don’t want to” or “I have nowhere else to go in the world, stop hurting me!”

The road that had to return home wailing even after being tossed into the river lodged within her heart as a token of the hopeless fear and anguish of the day. The memory stayed with her forever, living and breathing, not leaving her in peace from the past. She didn’t want Matthias to learn more, therefore she accepted the swimming challenge.

Early on, Leyla recognized her predicament. Compassion and sympathy from others were also appropriate. But even though he was acclaimed as the most aristocratic aristocrat in this empire, she never wanted to appear unclean in his presence.

Even though she knew she couldn’t, she still hoped for it.

From the moment he trod on the spilled penny, scooped it up, and frantically rushed away, to the present. Maybe forever and in the future.

“Leyla.”

She thought deeply about the person Matthias called.

It seemed odd since, although having the same name, Matthias sounded like an entirely different person. Is it the low, gentle voice, or is it the tone that sounded like a poem that rhymed.

‘’Will everything be ok in the end?’’ Leyla tightened her fist rather than gripping the railing once more. “I am not sure if I could float in the water.”

‘’The good scientist is better than anybody else at understanding that persons who float in water are not operating in the confidence-related domain.’’ Though it was a serious query, he responded sarcastically.

Leyla couldn’t find appropriate words to speak, she appeared perplexed. She chose to gaze at the distant sky wishing to disappear in the hem of sky’s blue quilt. She felt like her body was floating in the wide ocean. The silence got almost deafening that she screamed, atmosphere shaking off the environment from its tranquillity.

“I’ll give it some more thought!”

She fought as hard as she could, but Matthias, who had her tightly in his arms, made no movement at all. He remained determined like a warrior who swore to win a war despite all odds.

He walked down the stairs from the balcony to the boat hangar, which was next to the river. Leyla’s fear of water exploded in her body like an atom bomb. She froze for a second before settling down as she noticed the water racing by, aiming to devour her.

Matthias gave her pale cheeks a quick kiss before making a lengthier exit from the hangar.

When they reached the end of the dock, the shadow of a man and a woman in his arms that had been moving across a wooden panel warmed by the sun halted.

An afternoon in June. The water sparkled like diamonds, absorbing the sunlight.

She felt awfully stupid, yet In actuality, it was more of a fact than an assumption.

Leyla, who was perched at the end of the dock, cast a visibly dejected glance across the river. Matthias appeared to sparkle like a component of the sparkling surface as he floated along the water. He resembled like a statue god carved himself, exquisite beyond measure.

Leyla gave up mustering up her bravery and Matthias gladly accepted it. He started swimming joyfully being on his own. ‘’You can turn around.’’ Such callous comments were all he left for Leyla.

Despite the option to return, she remains where she is, a miserable fool. But upon further reflection, it seems that the man in question is also somewhat strange.

Leyla’s eyes narrowed as she considered this. Why would he make a promise to bring her here, only to leave her in such a vulnerable state? She wondered

Matthias, meanwhile, stood tall on the river with his back to the sky, looking stunning and free spirited. Leyla, determined, removed her shoes with a fierce motion, and then took off her stockings.

She started to feel lightheaded and shaky already as she went near to the river, her worst nightmare. Leyla yearned to recapture the reckless bravery she had displayed when she had dove into the water to retrieve her hat, but all she could do was sit at the end of the pier with her feet partially submerged.

“Why are you still here?” Matthias, now standing on the dock, asked playfully. His wet, partially-exposed body glistened in the summer sunlight, and the marks of his injuries only served to enhance his jaw dropping beauty.

“You seem quite content…”Leyla observed.

“As you can see,” Matthias replied, leaning his head on one arm and looking up at her adoringly.

“Why did you return? Are you trying to tease me?” she asked.

“If that’s what you desire,” Matthias said with a teasing smile.

Leyla rose up in a wrath despite the fact that she understood it wasn’t such a bad joke. She, not Matthias, was the one who was going to be annoyed and disappointed.

Why won’t she muster the final ounce of bravery?

For three minutes, Leyla clamped her lips together. She despised herself for being haunted by her terrible recollections of old times.

She had to go through worse and more unpleasant things than that. She came from a long way of troubled times. She can’t believe how unprepared she was for the water despite being accompanied by her loving husband.

Leyla turned around again, blocking her escape from the river. She marched decisively to the end of the dock, this time, like a soldier prepared to slash the enemy’s throat. Matthias watched her intently.

Leyla began with removing her glasses, relieved to take the pressure off her eyes. Then, she began to undress, starting with her slip, then her skirt and blouse. Despite feeling embarrassed, she managed to maintain her composure, possibly thanks to her impaired vision. Leyla hesitated for a moment before finally removing her bra and underpants, tucking them beneath a pile of clothes.

In the radiant light, her naked body was illuminated, brighter than the sun, like a goddess who stepped on earth. The two of them fell silent, not tempted to break it but their eyes locked onto each other in the brightness talking loudly with words and speech.

“I’m ready,” Leyla declared proudly, sitting down at the end of the dock and dipping her legs into the water once more to savour the unhealed wounds. “To be honest, I don’t think it would work. But I’ll do my best,”

Leyla wanted to cry, she wanted to finally shed the old wounds yet she restrained herself, fighting back her tears.

Matthias softly extended his hand to her while he was calmly gazing. Leyla held his hand with all her might, the hand that had lowered the wooden pillar, secretly begging to hold her forever.

‘’You’re not going to let me go, are you?’’

In response to the sincere query, Matthias happily nodded. “Never.”

Leyla put faith in his assurances.

She leaped into the water, putting her last hesitation behind her, defeating her phobia, letting her memories flow along the river. She ripped apart the peace and calmness of the river with the wild sounds of splashing, careless spraying, and ear-tearing screams.