Cycle Of Nirvana - Chapter 149

“Am I crying? What are you talking about?” Having heard the Asil’s question, Nyks answered it directly. His question was pretty ridiculous to Nyks. After all, let alone tears, there was not the slightest bit of moisture in her eyes right now. This must have been noticed by Asil as well, but he still asked such a question. Therefore, Nyks, who found his question absurd, did not even feel the need to look at Asil while answering him and continued to look ahead with her cold eyes.

“So you’re saying I’m being ridiculous…” Asil sighed lightly, and then his tone became serious: “Just because you don’t have tears in your eyes doesn’t mean you’re not crying. Because it’s not your eyes that cry, it’s your heart and soul…”

This time, there was no reaction from Nyks to Asil’s words. Silent for a few seconds, Asil looked up at the sky and smiled faintly: “I’m not good at such things… Besides, I haven’t known you for a long time, and we haven’t had a conversation that allowed us to get to know each other. But still, when I am with you, I can feel the loneliness in your heart and hear the painful cry in your soul. Isn’t it strange? I feel weird when I’m with you. It’s like there’s a connection between us. It’s like I’ve known you for a long time and we’re actually very close. I’ve never felt anything so strange towards someone before. So I can’t explain it to you, but still, know that I suffer every time you cry…”

Asil said what he had kept inside for a long time. He really didn’t know what the feelings were inside him. Because he had never felt this feeling for anyone before. While in the Mirza Clan, he hardly spoke to the young girls in the clan, as he was despised and ostracized. This situation continued when he left the clan and came to Kastor. And that’s why he didn’t know if this feeling in him was love or not. Not only that, but  Asil did not even know what to talk about in such situations with the opposite sex. This is exactly why he tried to think rationally for a few days, but could not find any results and chose to act with his feelings.

“Are you in pain? Bullshit!” Nyks snapped coldly. She narrowed her eyes a little, and a chilling profound aura emanated from her body: “Who are you to dare to say such things? Who exactly do you think you are for me? Do you think you know me because you helped me before and let you sit next to me for a few days? How can you say nonsense like I’m in pain when you don’t even know who I am, what I look like, or what I think?”

From the tone of Nyks’ voice and the aura emanating from her body, it was easy to see that she didn’t like what Asil said.  If anyone else had been in Asil’s place, would have apologized and backed off for Nyks  being too strong for him. However, Asil was not one to do such a thing. He didn’t know what would lead to what he was holding inside. When he said this, there was a possibility that he would be beaten and injured by Nyks. It might even lead to his death. But Asil still did not want to take a step back. Even though he didn’t have the experience of speaking to the opposite sex, even he knew that a single hesitation he would show right now would weaken what he wanted to say.

Asil turned his head to the side, looked at Nyks with kindly looking eyes, and smiled warmly lightly: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong. I don’t think I know you because I helped you in some way or because I’ve been sitting next to you for a few days. I don’t know who you are, what you look like, or what you think. But none of this prevents me from suffering every time I feel you crying. All I know is your physical feature, your cold, black eyes that remind me of the moon in a starless sky…” Asil sighed sadly: “Every time I look into your eyes, I can feel the loneliness of the moon in them. The loneliness of the moon, which continues to illuminate the world even if it is alone on cold nights…” Asil hesitated for a moment, raising one hand and stretching it out towards the sun. “But as far as I can tell from your eyes, you have forgotten the existence of the sun, just like the moon that thinks it is alone. Isn’t it its presence, warmth, stubbornness and patience that makes the moon and the world so beautiful? Nyks… It might seem a little strange what I’m about to say. I’ve never said these things to anyone before, so I may not be able to fully explain how I feel…”

Asil’s voice became increasingly emotional, Nyks’ aura became cold enough to penetrate the bones of the person who felt it. But despite this, Asil did not mind this and continued to talk.

“I don’t know why you are crying. Is it because you think you’re alone? If so, don’t think about it for nothing…” Asil smiled gently as he touched his chest with his left hand. “Because I’m here. I may not have known you before and I may not have been there for you, but I’m here for you now and I’ll be there for you from now on. I don’t know if my presence will be important to you or not… I don’t know if you’re gonna leave here or not… In the same way, I don’t know if I will return here again after I leave here… But none of that matters because even if we’re away from each other, I’ll be there for you mentally even if not physically. I think that feeling it is much more valuable and special than a physical intimacy…”

Asil’s voice became even gentler: “Is it because you’re crying because of heavy things that you threw into yourself and carried alone? If so, do not worry in vain…” Asil slowly stood up: “If the stuff you throw in is too heavy for you to carry, let me support you… I’ll carry them with you… Nyks… I’m here, you’re not alone, you don’t have to suffer alone. Share with me all your troubles, share with me all your sorrows and happiness… I want to support you…”

Asil took a few steps and got behind Nyks, who was still staring before him without any reaction. Asil’s voice began to tremble as the intensity of emotion in his heart gradually increased: “Is it because you’re crying because you don’t have anyone you trust? If so, you needn’t be afraid… “Asil slowly bent down, hugged Nyks gently, and whispered wholeheartedly into her ear.

“I’m here, Nyks… Even if the whole world calls you a liar, I will believe that you are telling the truth… Even if the whole world is hostile to you, I will be there for you… Even if your whole world remains in darkness, I will be the light that illuminates your path… If you stumble as you move forward, I will be the arm that supports you by holding you… If you’re in a situation where you can’t move forward, I’ll be the hand that pushes you from behind… When you’re cold, I’ll be the body that hugs you and warms you… I’ll be the shoulder that’s there for you when you want to cry… Even though you’re against the most terrifying force in the universe, I’ll be the one standing in front of you to protect you and make you feel safe…”

His eyes moistened as Asil continued, and then his arms tightened around Nyks: “If you’re the moon, I’ll be the sun that warms you… No matter how cold and lonely the moon may think it is, the sun continues to warm it and make it shine every day, just as I want to be by your side to keep you warm and happy. Nyks…” The intense emotions inside Asil rose to their peak with a few drops of tears starting to flow from the corners of his eyes. “Nyks… I love you…”

Boom!

After Asil’s last words, a surge of energy suddenly emerged from Nyks’ body and crashed into Asil’s body, sending him flying backwards with an explosion.

Bang!

Asil’s body did a few flips in the air, then crashed into the ground, then drifted along the ground for a few meters, forming a small mound behind him.

“Sh.. Shut up! Stop acting like you know me!” Although Nyks’ voice was much more angry and cold as death than usual, it was also evident that she was clearly trembling. She was stunned by Asil’s words and sudden movements. For this reason, her body was stiffened for a moment. She was extremely angry right now. Although she hated to be touched, someone had touched her body, and it was a man touching her. She angrily took a step forward and a terrifying aura began to radiate from her body. However, after taking a step, she suddenly stopped as if something had happened, briefly looked at Asil with cold eyes and shouted. “Damn it!”

After Nyks shouted, she hit the ground hard with her right foot, cracking the ground, and then left without doing anything to Asil.

After she left, Asil slowly tried to get up. Fresh blood was oozing out from the corner of his mouth right now. While there weren’t many visible injuries outside of his body, he had internal injuries inside his body. These injuries could have been quite serious had his body not been strengthened by the purple liquid and the Chaka tribe’s special empowerment method. But in his current state, he would be able to fully return to normal in a few days.

Asil didn’t know what effect the things he said would have, or whether it would be good or bad for saying them, but he didn’t care about that right now. He didn’t hesitate, and it was the first time in his life that he had expressed this feeling for someone. Although there was pain in his body, there was a great relief in his heart.

Asil stood up, balanced his body, thought over the words he had just said, sighed, then spoke softly as he made his way back to his residence at the Outer School to rest: “I think I exaggerated a bit. But no matter what, it’s better to say it than to not say it and take a step back….”