Cynical Romantics - Chapter 23 Rationality Left Him

“Can you stay with me?” asked Qian Mei.

Song Sheng lowered himself to sit on the bed. “I’ll wait with you here until you fall asleep,” he said deeply.

Qian Meigui nodded. She could not expect him to stay the night with her, as it would set them on the course of no return. She closed her eyes and drifted with her deep thoughts. A teardrop slipped from her eye as her breathing deepened.

Song Sheng watched as she fell asleep. The word’s lingering on his mind, ‘can you stay with me.’ He thought of how beautiful she played; it was as if he looked at a piece of art come to life. He felt swayed by her music and performance.

When Qian Mei played the violin, she was so absorbed into the traditional melody that she did not notice Song Sheng was in the room, or that people watched.

It was a song she performed for her father whenever he was separated from her mother. Her mother would travel abroad for work, while her father would stay at home. He said the music helped miss her less. So she would play it for him. It signified that their love would never waver even when they were separated. She felt like she was what connected them.

She thought about everything as she poured her feelings into the music. She thought about her love for her parents, their deaths, and the song family whom she loves but feels as if she’s betraying them. She thought of her feelings towards Song Shengfeelings that are forbidden, as he is her brother by law, and it made her sad.

For a few moments she was so lost that she could no longer hear, she only played based on muscle memory. She played the song so fast that her fingers trembled, but afterward she felt relieved. When she was able to hear the sound again, it was when she thought about the good memories of the people she had in her life. In her mind she called out, ‘Song Ren,’ ‘Song Jinyi,’ ‘Song Jun,’ ‘Zheng Minzhe,’ ‘Yue Xia,’ ‘Mo Sying,’ ‘Song Sheng…’ the people she cared so deeply for.

She did not even realize how much pain she was actually in because she numbed out what she thought would make her sad all these years. It only awakened the moment she picked up the instrument, and it was as if her feelings amplified.

She felt her betrayal toward the Song family, and the betrayal to herself.

In her dreams, Qian Meigui felt consumed by her sorrows and she began panting heavily in her sleep, as she trembled.

Song Sheng wanted to leave the room for quite some time, but he didn’t have the courage to do so. He wanted to stay with her. So he laid next to her quietly.

It was already midnight when Song Sheng heard Qian Meigui’s uneven breathing.

Song Sheng noticed she was experiencing a bad dream, so then he called out to her, “Mei,” “Mei, wake up.”

Qian Meigui sat up startled, panting heavily. Song Sheng was in front of her, looking at her worryingly.

“Breathe. Just breathe,” he said repeatedly trying to calm her down.

Qian Meigui kept breathing heavily.

“Xiao Mei,” he called out anxiously, and he placed his palms on each side of her cheek. Qian Mei faced him and said in weary tone, “I’m okay. I’m all right.”

Qian Mei calmed down, and when she took a final deep breath, she felt better.

Song Sheng caressed her burning hot cheek. She sweated all over as she fought out of the nightmare. Every time she had one, she felt more consumed by it.

Song Sheng left the room and returned shortly with wet towels. He wiped the sweat off her body and Qian Meigui watched him in a daze.

Within a few moments she flushed as she remembered that he changed her clothes before she fell asleep and waited with her, and now he was wiping her clean.

When Song Sheng finished, he brought her some herbal tea to rehydrate. She felt touched by the sudden kindness. Song Sheng was a kind person. When it came to family, he would do anything for them. It’s only with the outside world that he was more cold and reserved. In a way it made her sad. He was only this nice, because she was family.

Qian Meigui drank her herbal tea and said, “Thank you,” to him.

In the moonlight, Song Sheng’s dark hair reflected silver-white light, making the features of his face more smooth and clean-cut. Qian Mei knew how much women swoon over him. He had rejected dozens of marriage proposals from various families and broke up a previous relationship, a year after she moved in with the Song family.

He never dated anyone since and had been unattainable by every woman.

Qian Mei wished there was a way to reach himto express her feelings with confessing. In this life, she did not know she was capable of loving. And yet that’s all she felt when she was around himwarmth, affection, gentleness, understanding, selfishness, and everything in between.

Qian Meigui moved forward and embraced him tightly. Her strength and abruptness caused her to tumble over him suddenly.

Caught off guard, Song Sheng staggered back on the bed and Qian Mei was on top of him, laying on his torso.

Song Sheng once tried to escape the feelings he had for her by running away. When he returned, the girl he desired in his heart and body became bolder, stronger, and more resilient. She was no longer the fragile and delicate girl he met three years ago, as that person only lives in his memories. The woman in front of him was daring and fearless, unafraid of the consequences that she could endure in the future.

Song Sheng lost himself when Qian Mei gazed into his eyes. When Qian Mei adjusted herself into the family, she would stay up late with him when he studied. She would bring him food and check his temperature, and always encouraged him to do his best. She never left his side. Not once.

At the thought, Song Sheng reached out to caress her cheek and he moved his fingers between the locks of her hair, which spilled over him like a cascade.

“Did you know that your hair isn’t just brown? It’s blended with different coloursauburn, honey, and amber,” he said lowly with deep onyx eyes.

Qian Meigui’s heart sped up. Her chest rose irregularly and Song Sheng sat up fearing that she was hyperventilating again, and his look of concern made her submit madly to her will.

Qian Meigui moved forward and kissed him hard. For a moment, he didn’t move. He only stared at her eye-widened. When she parted from his lips, the straps of her nightgown fell from her shoulder, and she bit her lower lip in shyness, looking away from him.

She waited for him to push her off him, but he didn’t. He only looked at her in shock. She remained on top of him with a shy and embarrassed appearance.

It was then that he had took a few moments processing what just happened. Did she just kiss him? What did that mean? He had already burried his feelings for her.

Seeing her expression, Song Sheng could not help it. It was as if all rationality left him. He reached out to her and gazed into her eyes with a dark and sensual look. He leaned in, where their breaths lingered over each other’s face, daring themselves to move forward but not having the courage.

Two inches apart, their eyes gazed on the other’s features, lips, flushed cheeks, eye lashes, pours, everything. It was as if they were imprinting each other’s image in their minds, quietly and secretly. Afraid that when the moment was over, that they would never get the chance again.

Qian Meigui didn’t know if it was her, or Song Sheng that moved first, but they both clashed ruthlessly as their lips met in desperation. They kissed hard, as Qian Meigui pressed herself on him, trying to feel the warmth of his body with hers. His fingers lingered onto her shoulders before he pinned her underneath him.

He hovered over her, and met her gaze before finding her lips again with his. This time it was their tongues that clashed, fighting to dominate.

They kissed until they were breathless, but Qian Mei did not want to stop. She pulled the collar of his shirt towards her and found his face, and she kissed him all over. She then found the wings of his back and caressed them as he trailed kisses down her neck, collarbone, and chest.

Their kissing was slow but passionate, and they were igniting each other with the flames of glory and pleasure. The room was filled with low moans.

Qian Meigui began to explore his body further south, when he suddenly stood up from the bed abruptly. He panted heavily and looked horrified.

He didn’t meet her eyes when he said, “I’m sorry,” before leaving the room.