Daily Disposable Persona - CH 115

Chapter 115 – Little Majesty 06

“The Lord of Time will prove to you over a near-endless expanse of time that the feelings of an evil god will always be stronger, deeper, crazier, and far more intense than human love.”

“I will always be watching over you from the end of time and space.”

At that moment, Zong Yan felt like his heart had stopped.

His eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the Lord of the Gate, whose eyes seemed to contain a hundred million brilliant points of light.

His heart silently began to melt, as if someone had poured in a handful of golden honey, stirred and stirred, and warmed the resulting mixture into a sweet and rich ambrosia.

An evil god was incapable of experiencing human feelings.

Zong Yan might have found this fact difficult to grasp, but he’d been an evil god himself. That was why he could appreciate exactly what it meant for the Lord of the Gate to say those words.

Yog-Sothoth, the One-in-All, a being whose true body resided entirely beyond the boundaries of the universe, had always been a calm and wise observer.

When the Master of Time said he would always watch over you, that he would spend eternity to prove to you the depths of his emotions, emotions which only an evil god could feel, the meaning was absolutely, by far, the highest promise an evil god could make.

And the most romantic promise.

The face of black-haired young man was somewhat stunned.

So many things had been shattered at once that he felt muddled and confused.

He mostly thought it felt unreal.

If such a thing had happened to the Zong Yan of a few months ago, if someone told the past him that Yog-Sothoth seemed to have an ulterior agenda regarding him, sadly, that Zong Yan would have thought it was absurd. And he’d rather die than give in.

Zong Yan had always been like that. Stubborn, open to persuasion but rejecting force, he absolutely wouldn’t ever change his mind for anyone else.

Just like when he knew life-and-death danger was approaching. For the future of humanity, he stood up and met it head on.

As a member of the human race, Zong Yan knew beyond question that he and Yog-Sothoth, an evil god, would always stand far apart.

On one side was one of seven million human beings; on the other was the supreme evil god who’d mastered the ultimate laws of the universe.

‘I really am unable to refuse someone who’s kind to me.’

Zong Yan sighed to himself.

He had to admit that he didn’t feel any sense of rejection in his heart. Excluding the things he didn’t dare to actually believe, what remained was undisguised elation and joy.

When did it start?

When he became an evil god and the half-self of Cthulhu, it was Yog who’d preserved his human body. Otherwise Zong Yan might have never become human again.

In prehistoric times, no one knew that Zong Yan was Zong Yan. The Lord of Time and Space was the only one who crossed through time to find him. He offered his hand to Zong Yan from beyond the reaches of space.

When Zong Yan resolved to give up the body of an evil god, they’d walked the timeline together, and he’d glimpsed a tiny fragment of the future. Now that he thought about it, it was when he first saw that image that Zong Yan really began to wonder and panic.

Zong Yan could easily imagine what would have happened under normal circumstances, if the future he’d seen had featured some other evil god—Nyarlathotep, for example, or Shub-Niggurath. If that happened, Zong Yan would have never wanted to see the other being in his life. He would have immediately felt disgusted. The moment he saw that evil god again, he would have immediately used Yun Zhong Jun and said ‘bye bye’.

But even after he saw it, Zong Yan didn’t hate Yog.

Then, later, they’d spent a period of time together, and… an evil god was the only one who remembered a human’s birthday.

Zong Yan thought carefully about when his feelings began to change. And after following his thoughts through to the beginning, he found there was no discernible moment they began.

He had no idea. Maybe it was an accidental glance, a moment when their eyes happened to meet, the cool temperature of the god’s fingers, or maybe it was when one of the city’s brilliant neon lights flickered off.

Maybe it was random chance, something that had been repeated a million times in parallel dimensions, but somehow, this one time turned out different. On this one occasion, chance produced a qualitative change. A seed was planted in a dry field, waiting for the day it might germinate and take root, plunging into the deepest soil of his heart.

Crazy, I must be crazy.

Zong Yan laughed bitterly to himself.

You could like anyone, but how could you like an evil god?

The black-haired young man slowly placed his hand on his chest. He had to tilt up his head to gaze at the Lord of the Gate.

He could even see in the other’s eyes that his face was red. A brimming flush had risen from the base of his neck all the way to his cheeks.

Zong Yan had never felt so nervous, not even when he made up his mind to save the world.

“We might be parted forever, and this might seem like an appropriate time to say these things.” Even as Zong Yan spoke, the corners of his lips couldn’t stop lifting. “But it’s best I don’t give you an answer until I come back alive.”

The gray-haired evil god stared at him with eyes filled with laughter.

By saying this, Zong Yan had already given the evil god the best possible answer.

“Even the Lord of the Gate cannot glimpse the future that lies beyond this path. There may be dangers. There’s also the possibility you’ll return to Azathoth and lose yourself in his grand consciousness.”

The evil god’s cold fingers traced the young man’s cheek, as if to engrave his current appearance in his memory.

“No matter what happens, I will find you.”

He knew the nature of his human very well. No matter what Yog said, Zong Yan would always choose the same path.

The obstinate rays of light inadvertently shed by this young man couldn’t help but attract the gaze of the Lord of Time and Space.

The Lord of the Gate would not give any promises about feelings, nor would he deign to acquire the human emotion of love that evil gods had discarded so long ago. All he would do was clutch the one who interested him firmly in his hands.

Even if that meant disregarding the other party’s wishes.

The Lord of the Gate had studied 《How To Raise Your Human》 and loaded the knowledge of all of human psychology into his mind. He had no intention of fighting a battle unprepared.

The evil god never even considered that he might be rejected.

In short, Yog-Sothoth had the ability to tamper with reality at will. If he was rejected, he could easily make his human desperately feel the emotion known as “love”. It was just an emotion. A god could manipulate it as he pleased.

In fact, the Lord of the Gate had done similar things before. He once tried to manipulate Zong Yan’s original body. Unfortunately, Zong Yan somehow realized that Senior Tawil had modified reality, and so Yog’s avatar issued orders at an unconscious level to make sure evil gods would avoid trying to tamper with Zong Yan’s brain.

Certainly, compared to other evil gods, the Lord of the Gate was a relatively benevolent being.

But an evil god was an evil god. The usual thing for an evil god to do with a human who’d captivated him was take him captive in return.

Break his ankles, bind him with iron chains, cover his eyes with a black strip of cloth, and lock him up forever in an unreachable corner of time and space.

Then remove his clothes and force him to his knees, cover his beautiful skin with the shadows of the evil god, completely naked, in unending coitus with the god’s true body. The Lord of the Gate would savor the pleasant moans coming from the throat of the black-haired young man and slowly lick the painful liquid from the corners of his eyes, teasing every corner of the youth’s body until he screamed, until they were utterly integrated, until he became one with the most evil being in the universe.

The Lord of the Gate would continue to reside far above the plane of reality, coldly overlooking all of existence, just as he had for millions upon millions of years, the paramount exalted lord.

And not a single god, nor any lesser being, would ever know that in the box dimension where the Lord of the Gate kept his treasures, there was a beautiful black-haired boy, forced to open his body day and night to accept the evil god’s unbridled invasion.

It would have been the most supreme delicacy.

Only if Azathoth, the Lord of the Universe, returned in full would any evil god know that such a tiny being could be so favored by the Lord of the Gate.

Like a devil guarding his last rose.

What a shame. If Yog-Sothoth hadn’t gone to all these efforts, it would be nearly impossible for a stream of consciousness to become Azathoth.

Just like obtaining the power of the Dreamlands.

If Zong Yan entered the Dreamlands alone, even with his daily disposable persona cards, he might have been killed by the unending dangers. Yibb-Tstll’s knowledge was hardly less than the Lord of the Gate’s. If the evil god discovered Zong Yan’s presence on his doorstep, more than likely the human would have met an unfortunate end.

Of course, it might seem like they’d easily traversed the Dreamlands, but the truth was that all of it was due to the absolute authority of the Lord of Time and Space.

No matter how well Yog disguised himself, he was still an evil god, and evil gods did not share any of the benevolent feelings possessed by human beings.

‘Have you really thought about it? Fall with me into that endless abyss, and from then on, all your humble joys and sorrows, even the smallest human emotions, will have the honor of producing a ripple in the heart of an evil god.’

‘To meet the evil god in his entirety—full of twisted hatreds and paranoid obsessions, horrible emotions strong enough to tear you apart little by little as I eat you into my belly, and even if you die, your soul will not escape my shackles. The god will consume your life and death alike, and you’ll lose yourself in that realm of darkness for endless generations.’

‘Even in death, you cannot escape.’

Fortunately… Fortunately, the human agreed. The human gladly accepted the evil god’s heart, and this allowed the Lord of the Gate to suppress his evil thoughts.

Yog gazed into the young man’s clear, dark eyes and ticked the corners of his mouth with pleasure.

“I don’t like vague answers.

“The Lord of Time and Space will find you no matter where you are.”

—Don’t presume you will ever be able to escape me.

The black-haired young man seemed to sense something, perhaps even becoming aware of the hidden danger, the unspoken meaning in the evil god’s words.

In the grip of these distorted feelings, the Lord of the Gate didn’t hide anything. He actually looked forward to the expression the black-haired young man was about to show.

Will you be frightened? Afraid? Scream and try to flee? Feel terrified? Retreat?

He thought these things with joy, and the edges of his irises glowed with a pale, chaotic light.

Behold the mercy of the Lord of the Gate—each time he leaves the decision to the human himself.

After all, no matter what answer he received, the ending would be the same. As for whether human will could be preserved, that depended on what the human chose.

But… What Yog enjoyed the most about Zong Yan was the way he always made the choice that surprised him most.

“I know.”

Zong Yan suddenly put away his smile. He clenched his fingers. After hesitating for what felt like a long time, he darted up on tiptoe and gently printed his lips against those of the gray-haired evil god.

“This, this is an action that represents intimacy for humans.”

After doing this, the black-haired young man’s neck turned red, and he even stuttered a little. He didn’t dare to look Yog in the eyes. “I don’t want to answer right now because my future isn’t clear. If I rashly tell you something and there’s an accident, it would be irresponsible.

“”

“Maybe, maybe you don’t care that much, but my heart—mmm, mmm, mmm!”

Zong Yan widened his eyes. He couldn’t speak any more.

Because at that moment, the back of his head was held in a deathly strong grip.

The Lord of the Gate lowered his head, pried open Zong Yan’s lips with his tongue and gave him a long kiss.

The evil god’s movements were equally clumsy, but the Lord of the Gate was extremely good at learning. In a few short moments he loaded all the available data about “kissing” and left Zong Yan dizzy.

The kiss went on for a very long time, so long that all the air in Zong Yan’s chest was plundered, and after they separated there was a seductive line of silver trailing down.

“Little liar.” Narrowing his eyes, Yog stroked Zong Yan’s hair. “The act of expressing intimacy isn’t as simple as the version you demonstrated. If you’re only at this level, I won’t let you graduate.”

—

The author has something to say:

Zong Yan: Come on, what it will take for you to let me graduate

Bubbles: You figure it out

——

This chapter was pretty cool to write. YaYa will considered finishing it in WB for a “what if” storyline 23333

TL Notes:

open to persuasion but rejecting force – 吃软不吃硬 – eat soft, not hard; can be persuaded by reason but not be cowed by force; yielding to soft approach but rejecting force; yield to the weak but not to the strong; be amenable to friendly persuasion but not to compulsion

always stand far apart – 八竿子打不着 – eight poles stand apart, not related in any way

We might be parted forever – 生离死别 – separation between loved ones in life or death; be parted in life and separated by death; part forever; part for ever; partings in life or death; part never to meet again; separations in life or parting at death

in coitus – 交/媾 – 交媾 – to have sex, to copulate, coitus

completely naked – 一/丝/不/挂 – 一丝不挂 – in nature’s garb; be in the nude; be starknaked; buck naked; have nothing on; in a state of nature; in one’s birthday suit; in one’s skin; in the altogether; not have a rag to one’s back; not to have a stitch on; strip to the buff; without a shred of cloth

a devil guarding his last rose – 魔鬼守着自己最后一支玫瑰花 – This could be a reference to a fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, “The Rose Elf”, or maybe just some figurative language

WB – Weibo