Daily Disposable Persona - CH 92

“Come on, let’s go back.”

The gray-haired evil god extended his hand towards Zong Yan, and his brilliant golden eyes were filled with a faint smile.

Zong Yan wasn’t sure why, but the sight somehow made him feel his eyes were hot.

It was like all the grievances he’d felt but no one understood or cared about had emerged from the center of his body.

He’d always been alone. Even if he was surrounded by the warmest, most radiant sunlight, he walked alone, and when he shot from the surface of the Earth into its atmosphere, the rest of the human race was dreaming in their beds. He gave his life to stop the attack of an Outer God and a Great Old One and saved this beautiful blue planet, but he’d been alone.

Then Zong Yan went back 350 million years into the Earth’s past. In that unfamiliar prehistoric era, he became an evil god with his own domain. He witnessed the fall of Atlantis.

His greatest sorrow was that while he had the body of an evil god, he also had a living, beating human heart.

It was this heart that kept Zong Yan from forgetting his humanity and being invaded by the callous mindset of an evil god, but it was also a heavy burden.

Throughout the entire journey, he was alone.

It seemed that for a long, long, time, he’d had no one else around him.

His memories from elementary school were vague. He liked to live in his own world, and he helped his grandmother earn money with her letter writing every day. He didn’t think about his situation very much. In junior high school, his grandma’s health gradually began to deteriorate. Zong Yan had to run between school and the hospital almost every day. If he went home from school at noon, he had to make his own meals and send them over. By the time he reached high school… Grandma was really gone, and then Zong Yan was completely on his own.

In recent years, because of issues at home, Zong Yan hardly made any friends. He didn’t have time to spend on socializing. He ate meals alone and he went home alone after school, but his days didn’t feel too boring. He helped the grandmas and grandpas in the tube building run errands, or he went to the second-hand bookstore to read books for the day. But after all, he had a superpower. As long as he had his power, he was like a poor man with a treasure. Just thinking about what he had could make him feel satisfied and happy.

But now everything was different. Now he was completely separated from human existence.

That feeling of loneliness welled up from the corners in his heart where it had been deliberately buried, and every trace of it was bitter. Especially after he’d decided to live on as an evil god.

‘Think about it. At least an evil god has a long lifespan. After Carcosa and R’lyeh have their fight, I can find a cave under the sea and go to sleep for 350 million years. When I wake up it’ll be time to take the college entrance exam.’

But then Yog-Sothoth arrived.

From the end of time and space, from far beyond the dimensions.

Zong Yan didn’t know what the evil god was smoking, but if he really brought Zong Yan back to modern times, Zong Yan decided he’d carve the evil god ‘s name on a wooden plaque, build him a memorial tablet, burn incense and light a fire as an offering.

“Hold on.” He took a few steps forward, about to take the evil god’s hand, but then he paused as if suddenly remembering something. “What about R’lyeh? And Carcosa?”

Zong Yan knew that before he was captured by the Lord of Interstellar Spaces, R’lyeh was fighting Carcosa. The sky was thundering and the sea was raging like a scene from the end of the world.

The important thing was that, after Zong Yan was struck by starlight, Cthulhu had answered his call. He immediately tore through space to return from across the universe. So Zong Yan knew he’d avenged. His gege, his half-self, would take care of everything.

But now the young evil god turned slightly to the side. His eyes fell on the sea in the distance.

The weather was quiet, and the warm sunlight poured down, glittering like gold on the sparkling deep blue sea, like a sapphire banner embroidered with gold thread.

Above the clouds, the city of Carcosa had long disappeared, but R’lyeh stood further in the distance. With Zong Yan’s enhanced sight he was just able to see the palace and towers in the center of R’lyeh. They were like a forest of black steel lances held by a troop of medieval knights, with their points aimed at the sky.

“They’re still fighting,” Yog-Sothoth said lightly. It seemed he didn’t care to discuss this topic.

But a hesitant, struggling expression appeared on Zong Yan’s face. “I’d like to say goodbye.”

The influence of a half-self cut both ways. Cthulhu and Hastur felt close to Zong Yan, and Zong Yan felt the same. There were very few people Zong Yan felt this way about. In fact, there hadn’t been anyone since Grandma.

It had felt really good to have a gege. Even if his brother was an evil god and expressed his affection in a clumsy, evil god way that human beings couldn’t agree with.

When Zong Yan left, he would immediately cross through 350 million years. It felt wrong not to say a word before he vanished.

While Zong Yan was lost in thought, the gray-haired evil god observed his face, catching all his expressions, and narrowed his eyes in displeasure.

“Cthulhu and Hastur are brothers,” Yog-Sothoth said in a cold voice. “As their direct Father God, I can tell you in all seriousness that when they were born, there was no such thing as a half-self.”

The Lord of Time and Space found that he greatly disliked Zong Yan’s long, dark green hair. Rather than an evil god, Yog much preferred his appearance as a human.

Humans were as fragile as dodder flowers. The slightest touch would cause their destruction, but it was this fragility that made them more precious and beautiful.

The words contained so much information that Zong Yan didn’t respond at first.

“Then… You mean my persona card—”

A terrible conjecture arose in his mind.

When Zong Yan thought it through before, he concluded that persona cards essentially gave him a new body, extracting the soul from one body and putting it into another.

He had a vague suspicion that the bodies he used for these persona cards, the ones with clear names, like Yun Zhong Jun and Apollo, probably had previous owners. But for some unknowable reason, these Elder Gods eventually disappeared in the long river of history. Eventually Zong Yan, as their successor, enjoyed their afterglow in the form of his superpower.

As for the evil god Cthulhu, from the standpoint of the timeline, he had a lifespan that was unbroken since birth. When Zong Yan activated the Cthulhu card, his superpower would naturally make use of the nearest substitute, his half-self.

But Yog’s words had shattered this hypothesis.

Did that mean his persona cards were actually “creating something out of nothing?”

“We’ll have time later to continue this discussion.” The Lord of Time and Space switched to another topic. “R’lyeh will sink, and the city of Carcosa will disappear behind the stars. Cthulhu will be sealed, as will Hastur.”

Zong Yan’s eyes widened.

Right, that was what he’d learned from his professor in the history of Earth class he took at Miskatonic University.

Sometime in Earth’s prehistory, a great upheaval had taken place. What exactly happened wasn’t understood, and the cause was unknown.

About 300 million years ago, as a result of this upheaval, R’lyeh sank and the great Cthulhu was sealed forever beneath the South Pacific. The city of Carcosa was hidden in the stars, and the Lord of Interstellar Spaces was sealed on a planet in the Pleiades star cluster.

At the time the Earth hadn’t yet given rise to humans, and the Elder Gods had not yet entered the stage of history. The beings who dominated the planet, summoning the wind and calling the rain, were Great Old Ones who came from other planets. Therefore, Miskatonic scholars who specialized in the study of Earth’s history speculated that this change was the result of internal turmoil among the Great Old Ones. Another possibility was that an even more powerful being had sealed the majority of Great Old Ones in various corners of the universe.

“These are historical events that cannot be altered in the timeline.” The gray-haired evil god casually straightened the cuffs of his trench coat with an elegant gesture. “Just as you yourself are an anomaly that doesn’t exist within the timeline. Your existence is like a butterfly that causes a storm according to the human theory. You may have an incalculable impact on the future of Earth. Not to mention your status as the Lord of R’lyeh.

“Every time traveler is either disposed of by the Tindalos Hounds or creates a new timeline. This newly born time axis forms a parallel universe, ultimately leading to a completely different future with an inherent risk of collapse.”

There were plenty of examples. For example, one lucky man once crossed from modern times to ancient Egypt and happened to be dressed like a powerful high priest.

In some dynasties of ancient Egypt, the priests were even more powerful than pharaohs. This time-traveling soul from modern times had mastered numerous magic tricks, and eventually became a veritable spokesman of the gods.

The time traveler built a number of massive monuments in ancient Egypt and taught the people of the country how to make iron. He supplemented that with the techniques of later generations, centralizing power and modernizing military command. He became the pharaoh himself and completed the unification of divine and royal power.

The ultimate consequence was that ancient Egypt conquered almost every country in the Mediterranean, and its territory eventually extended into Mesopotamia.

In that timeline, Alexander the Great of Macedonia never conquered ancient Egypt.

Because of this little time joke, the time traveler indirectly affected the history of the planet for later generations, created a multitude of other branches in the timeline, and even had a tendency to contaminate parallel dimensions.

In the end, Yog-Sothoth stepped in and sent the ancient ones to the corresponding time node, assassinated the high priest when he was about to ascend the throne, and snuffed out the altered timeline at the source.

“If you stay here, there’s a good chance R’lyeh won’t be destroyed. If R’lyeh’s rule continues, there will be no way for humans to evolve on Earth.” Yog sharply pointed out the problem. He wasn’t surprised to see the struggling expression on Zong Yan’s face. “Besides, this concept of a half-self never existed before. It’s just your wonderful… little trick.”

Zong Yan pulled the corner of his mouth. He couldn’t have explained his mood.

The Lord of Time and Space spoke again, lowering his voice like an enchantment, “But you don’t have to worry. When we return, I’ll personally erase this error from the timeline.”

At this point, it would have been unreasonable for Zong Yan to refuse again.

Besides, this person had already agreed to help him. If he tried to haggle and insisted on seeing his gege, there was no guarantee the impatient evil god wouldn’t give him a live performance of an evil god changing his mind.

Zong Yan didn’t notice the other party was deliberately guiding his thoughts.

“Let’s go.”

During all of this, the Lord of Time and Space never lowered the hand he’d extended. Zong Yan hesitated for a moment, turned back again, and gazed at the whole vast scene of Earth.

That’s right, he didn’t belong here. There’d never been a half-self. Everything came from the persona card.

Once you learn you’re a guest in a dream, the dream begins to feel a bit empty.

“… Thank you.”

The young evil god finally made up his mind, reached out and gently placed his fingers on the pale and slender hand.

The curve of the latter’s mouth became more and more obvious. He tightly closed his fingers, wrapping Zong Yan’s hand with unyielding firmness, and tightened his grip on the other party’s hand.

—

The author has something to say:

In the original story, Lovecraft never explained “why R’lyeh sank”, so I won’t add anything about it in my story. It’s true I could send an Outer God to make trouble, but I prefer to leave it blank. As for why the Great Old One was sealed and how R’lyeh sank, I’ll leave it to your imagination~

TL Notes:

And that completes the arc! We’re now 2/3rds of the way through this novel, which means there’s an entire 1/3rd left to enjoy! And the romance is starting to ramp up. A bunch of fun things are ahead! (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

(I’m continuing to do some line editing and will remove this text when I’m done)

Some housekeeping items:

1) Daylight savings time is ending in my area in a few days. You may notice a change to my posting time. Or not. It depends where you are. Anyway the reason is because the clocks changed ♥

2) Update schedule: The holiday season is approaching in the Western hemisphere where I live. In upcoming weeks I may need to travel to visit family. Also, I mentioned back in Chapter 61 (it feels like yesterday…) that someday I would start a new project and perhaps dial back on update frequency for this series. Well, that day is here.

Therefore I intend to update 5x per week for this project. The new schedule will start next week, not this week. I take occasional days off anyway so I was probably only updating 6x per week before.

I’m currently thinking Tuesday and Wednesday will be “off” days, but it doesn’t matter a whole lot. If you have a preference lmk. Of course RL always takes precedence. If something happens and my schedule changes I’ll let you know (ﾉ◕ ₒ ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ♥

3) End of the arc / day off from posting tomorrow: I managed to do some preparation ahead of time, but I still need to take a day off tomorrow to prep the upcoming arc. However, in future arcs I shouldn’t need to take an additional day off.

Sorry for the wall of text! Thank you for reading!

– Confectioner aka Gao Dian Shi (糕点师)

almost every day – 三天两头 – every two or three days; almost every day; every other day or so

dodder flowers – 菟丝花 – Also known as cuscuta, a genus of parasitic plants which generally depend on their host plant for nutrition (Wikipedia)

Transliterated names, titles, and places—new in this chapter:

Pleiades star cluster – 昴宿星

Macedonia – 马其顿

Alexander the Great – 亚历山大大帝可

Egypt – 埃及

[ Project Page | Ko-Fi ✿ | Other translations by Confectioner ]