Daily Disposable Persona - CH 95

When Zong Yan returned to modern times, there were a lot of things he had to deal with. He was busy non-stop for a few days and didn’t have time to think about anything else.

First of all, he had to disguise himself. He found a random barbershop in New York City, dyed his hair, and cut it back to its original length.

The strange thing was that before he even completed this disguise, the barbershop owner blurted out that he’d seen Zong Yan on TV.

Zong Yan: ? ? ?

The level of excitement was a little high, so Zong Yan casually hypnotized the owner.

His current appearance was too conspicuous. Not only was he more androgynous and alluring than before, his face looked like it had gotten a tune-up at a plastic surgery clinic.

Zong Yan was good-looking to begin with. Now, although his facial features hadn’t changed that much, at a glance he looked different from before. His appearance was several degrees more stunning.

Let’s put it this way. Shub-Niggurath was known as the most perfect man in the world because his face had 360 degrees without any dead angles. Even if different people had varying opinions on aesthetics, Shub’s face fell dead-center within every human’s beauty admiration hot spot, slaying both men and women, young and old, at a stroke.

Zong Yan’s current face wasn’t as exaggerated as the Black Goat with a Thousand Young, but he wasn’t that much worse. He’d reached the level where not wearing a mask on the street could turn heads at a success rate of almost eighty percent.

To be honest, Yog-Sothoth and Nyarlathotep both had the same level of face value as Shub. However, they were able to control their sense of presence at will and were skilled at distorting reality. Ordinary humans didn’t focus on them too much. Besides, for either of these evil gods, strolling around MU or the White House was like visiting their own backyard. They could discard their current identities and create a new one with the twitch of a finger.

As for Cthulhu-mode Zong Yan, as an evil god-in-training he couldn’t even attempt something with such a high degree of difficulty. The only option he had was to hypnotize the barbershop owner.

Mental suggestion wasn’t difficult for him. After all, Cthulhu was famous for his ability to communicate with the world’s highest-insight humans and drag them into his dreams.

Zong Yan originally wanted to ask Yog-Sothoth if the great Lord of Time and Space could help him find a way to replace his body.

But after that incident of peeking into the future, Zong Yan just wanted to hide on the other side of the planet. There was no way he’d voluntarily send himself to Yog-Sothoth’s door.

Because Zong Yan felt that his three views were on the verge of breaking down.

It was something neither Miskatonic University nor the occult world had managed, but a fragment of the future accomplished it with ease! How did that work?

And that was the reason Zong Yan hadn’t been feeling well the past few days. He used every possible method to avoid Yog-Sothoth, because whenever he saw the Lord of the Gate he couldn’t help but think of that scene.

Although New York was saved, the Gate of Truth remained in Boston. Zong Yan identified himself and returned to MU through the Gate, agreeing on the spot to be evaluated by a group of senior investigators.

Strangely enough, although everyone kept giving him weird looks, they didn’t seem to view him with any wariness or suspicion. It was more like admiration and disbelief, like they’d just witnessed someone cheat death. Zong Yan was bewildered.

He’d made a big splash in the occult world as the youngest Monarch, but this had to be something else, right?

Unfortunately, time was running short, and Zong Yan didn’t have another mechanism to contact the outside world. His cell phone was still with his original body, and his body remained inside Yog-Sothoth’s body. And whenever he thought about that name, his temples started to spasm, so he didn’t have another way to leave the United States. There was no other choice but to contact MU.

That was why he still couldn’t go back to Qingyang High School to study properly. First he had to explain why he disappeared for half a month.

As for why there was such a big fuss about it, Miskatonic University had seen its share of investigators go missing. Once, an investigator had disappeared for a long period of time. After he came back, they discovered he’d secretly joined a cult and only returned to MU as a spy. Zong Yan understood the reason for it and cooperated fully.

With a pen in his hand, the lead investigator turned over the pages before him and got ready to start the recording.

They were sitting at a high bench like in a Western-style courtroom, overlooking a group of people in the middle of the room. Zong Yan sat at the center of the bench, the focus of everyone’s attention.

Recently, Zong Yan had put in a lot of hours practicing mind control, trying to prevent people from automatically paying attention to him.

But his operating technique still wasn’t very skilled. While it was true that he could mass mind control all the investigators present, he couldn’t guarantee whether he’d inadvertently reveal himself somehow or send everyone to the mental hospital.

After weighing the pros and cons, Zong Yan decided to use his own nonsense fabrication methods and try to muddle through.

But the investigator’s first sentence totally bewildered him.

“Mr. Zong Yan, please state your Chinese citizenship ID number, your original home address, and the names of any of your classmates in junior high.”

Zong Yan: ? ? ?

In a daze he did as he was told, and everyone’s attention shifted back to the lead investigator.

The lead investigator had a face like an enemy, and his eyes were like a falcon’s, trained on the pages of his notebook. He finally let out a deep sigh. “Identity confirmed.”

He immediately closed his notes, took off his hat and bowed slightly in respect. “Welcome back, Monarch Zong Yan.”

The investigators in the surrounding seats also stood up, clapping and doffing their hats in salute. The thunderous applause lasted nearly a minute.

“Thank you for saving the world.”

They all came out of their seats, spontaneously formed a line, and came over to shake Zong Yan’s hand one at a time. “If it weren’t for the occult world’s astronomical observation array in Greenwich, which detected the fluctuations of your alchemical signature, we might never have known about your selfless dedication. Your actions exemplify the greatest glories of human nature.”

“Thank you, sir, for everything you’ve done for the occult world and humanity.”

In the back, an elderly investigator more than seventy years old began to wipe his tears. “No one heard from you for half a month. We were all worried you’d suffered an accident. We even held a grand funeral for you in the central auditorium of the college.”

“Thank God you’re all right. This is the best news I’ve heard all year!”

Zong Yan: …

Huh???

Stunned, he shook hands with the investigators one by one, and then the professors took him to MU’s central conference room.

The projector in the conference room was already activated, displaying several faces. Among them were people whom Zong Yan often saw on international news, including heads of state.

Their response was the same as the MU investigators’. They sent their sincere thanks to Zong Yan on behalf of their respective countries.

Among them, the U.S. spokesman said they’d reached an agreement with the occult community. It seemed that because of some kind of operator error, a video of Zong Yan fighting ghouls in New York had been circulating wildly on the Internet. The occult world had thought Zong Yan was dead for the past two weeks, but the enthusiasm of netizens continued unabated. They’d even posted a video of Zong Yan’s performance on stage from the recent New Year’s ceremony of Qingyang High School. It wasn’t understood why none of the videos had audio, but people eating melons online didn’t care. As long as they could lick a handsome face, they were happy.

The leaked video of Zong Yan had spread far and wide, causing a sensation. In addition, U.S. officials doubled down on the problem by confirming that they’d accidentally switched to a memory storage card with footage from an unreleased film. Everyone had gotten more and more excited to see the movie.

Originally, after the tenth Monarch of the occult world went missing, the U.S. authorities planned to find a body double to shoot some symbolic footage in an attempt to skate past the problem. But as it turned out, Zong Yan was just fine, and they were in a much better situation. That meant the movie was back on the agenda.

This was by no means a joke. If the public’s first instinct hadn’t been that they were watching a movie, rather than witnessing a live revelation of a person with superpowers, America’s global reputation would have tanked. Putting aside the reaction of other countries, the American public would be the first to rise up and march in the streets, and the government’s credibility would have fallen into the gutter.

So this was something they absolutely couldn’t let go of.

The government would arrange for the best director and special effects team, and pay Zong Yan the highest salary, to get this movie released.

Zong Yan, who was suddenly scheduled for a movie shoot: ?

“Don’t worry, the team we got is top-notch. We’ve done our best to recreate the situation in New York and the scene depicted in the video. By the way, we’ve also brought in several international stars to co-star with you, including the world-renowned Shub-Niggurath…”

“Stop!” Zong Yan said quickly. “Everything else is fine. Please donate all the money from the movie to my home country in my own name. Finally, as long as Shub-Niggurath doesn’t participate, I’ll consider doing the movie.”

“Ohhh. Well, of course we can accommodate such a small request.”

The spokesman was a little confused, but he’d gotten instructions from the top. As long as their bottom line wasn’t crossed, they’d agree to other conditions without quibbling. So he promised right away.

It was only when the projection screen was turned off that Zong Yan began to feel a sense of unreality.

After disappearing for half a month and coming back, not only had he revealed one of his identities, he’d also become a great hero who saved the world. Besides that, he was popular all over the world, had countless fans, was about to participate in a unique large-scale production in Hollywood, and countless film emperors were going to be his supporting actors. He was basically debuting at the peak of fame, right?

Zong Yan never thought he’d reveal himself by using an alchemical magic pattern.

Alchemical magic patterns were mysterious things. Every person’s patterns had a trace of their own exclusive aura. This signature was recorded in the archives of the Spire Council, a little like how magic wands were traced in Harry Potter, forbidding underage wizards from using magic outside school.

The world was really amazing.

Zong Yan had no idea what kind of sensation would erupt when he went back to Qingyang High School… Obviously, he just wanted to be an ordinary high school student and prepare for the college entrance exam in peace and quiet!!!

While he was stressing about this, a shadow crossed over from a distance and the light before his eyes suddenly darkened.

The evil god had changed his appearance. He was no longer the image of a scholar wearing a trench coat and a monocle. He was now the avatar of the Great Old One, with gray hair, golden eyes, and white robes.

Meeting Zong Yan’s frozen stare, the ends of his eyes narrowed dangerously. “You have been avoiding me.”

It was a declarative sentence.

TL Notes:

his face had 360 degrees without any dead angles – 是因为他的外貌三百六十度无死角 – This means you can take a picture or look at him from any angle and his appearance is always good (unlike people who always try to angle their face towards the camera the same way for the best look)

evil god-in-training – 这个半路出家的邪神 – evil god who became a monk – 半路出家 means to become a monk or nun late in life; switch to a job one was not trained for; switch to a new profession; without solid foundation or training

hide on the other side of the planet – 躲对方都来不及 – it’s too late/there’s not enough time to do anything but hide from the other party

weighing the pros and cons – 权衡利弊 – weigh advantages and disadvantages; weigh the advantages and disadvantages; weigh the pros and cons

nonsense fabrication methods – 胡编乱造大法 – manufacture indiscriminate Dharma

try to muddle through – 蒙混过关 – slip by [through]; slip away unpunished; bluff it out; get by; get by under false pretenses; gloss over one’s faults; sneak away in the confusion; muddle through by glossing over one’s mistakes

Monarch Zong Yan – 宗衍阁下 – Zōng yǎn géxià – Typically géxià would become “sir” or “Your Excellency” (for the MU school chancellors), but “Monarch” seemed more appropriate here

eating melons – 吃瓜 – A common activity for unrelated bystanders who just want to enjoy a show or are enjoying a spectacle. In English we might say they were eating popcorn

lick a (handsome) face – 舔颜就 – “Licking the screen” is said to be a common activity for netizens who spend their time appreciating handsome or beautiful people

fallen into the gutter – 跌破冰点 – below freezing

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