Death, Devotion, Dissonance - Chapter 222: Monologue

Endra didn’t know which questions would be good and which would be bad. But since Kent seemed willing to answer both, he didn’t care.

“As for what I know about you… In all honesty, probably very little. I know you shared the original boy’s body with him, you could talk to him, you could cast spells for him, you could take over his body… Hmm, what else? You wanted to become independent from the boy somehow, you two argued a lot, and you both probably thought each other annoying.”

‘He knew a lot…’ Endra thought. ‘But he doesn’t know the important parts.’

“And today, I learned you took over the boy’s body somehow and that the result’s permanent. I won’t pretend I have any idea on how you managed to achieve that. Since you can cast magic in that weird way of yours, perhaps you’ve made a breakthrough on it recently.”

There was a hint of curiosity in the man’s words. Endra immediately started thinking about how he was going to give away as little information as possible.

“Oh, and I won’t bug you about your secrets, so don’t worry,” Kent winked at him.

‘Fucking shit, am I that obvious to read?’ Endra cursed.

He thought his poker face wasn’t so bad, but he was definitely wrong.

“As for your origins…” Kent continued. “I have no clue. My strongest guess is that you’re something from the forgotten era. Before the Empress and all that.”

Endra wanted to act surprised at the mention of that era, but he felt it would be alright if Kent had that misunderstanding. It was better than being dubbed as an otherworlder. Also, Endra knew enough about the previous era to pass off as someone of that time.

“As for other things I know…” Kent put his hand under his chin. “I know you’re feeling guilt from killing the boy.”

Endra could only smile wryly at that.

“I don’t mean to judge, of course. Who wouldn’t feel guilty? Anyone human would feel guilt. I don’t know how long you’ve been with the kid, but it was obviously long enough to get attached. Especially with how well the boy was growing. He finally came out of his shell, he finally managed to escape his father’s shadow, he was finally experiencing what maternal love felt like, he was finally experiencing romantic love felt like, and perhaps, he was finally respecting you as a proper living being.”

At this point, Endra wasn’t even surprised to hear the Chairman’s accurate guesses.

“And that wasn’t all. The endless possibilities his future held for him… What could he have achieved in two years? Ten years? Although he had your help, the boy wasn’t talentless. And he knew struggle, so he wouldn’t have turned lethargic or egotistic either. You would’ve been there to make sure of that. To make sure that the boy would turn out a great person.”

‘As long as you live… huh.’

“But… All of that. All his past, all his growth, all his future, obliterated in one brief moment of betrayal.”

It really was a moment of betrayal. Endra offered his neck, but fearing to face his old fate, he took the knife from Evin’s hand and stabbed him in the neck. At the time, he felt he did right, without needlessly prolonging the boy’s death, but he should’ve at least let the boy live for a few more minutes. Say his last words. Endra owed him at least that much.

Kent paused, taking a final sip from his tea. “I need a proper drink.” He then opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a bottle. “Whisky. Much better.” He poured two cups and offered one to Endra. This time, Endra did not refuse.

“But that’s death, isn’t it?” Kent said, sitting down. “The complete elimination of one’s future. His past lives on as memories for others, but whatever he could’ve done in the future… no longer possible. And frankly, no longer important. The dead do nothing, the dead have nothing, the dead are nothing.”

Kent then held his cup up in the air, urging Endra to toast. Endra did so in silence and they both took a sip.

“That’s right. The dead are nothing… Isn’t that why you’re so desperately clinging onto life?” Kent continued. “Isn’t that why you were willing to do anything to avoid death, even if it costs your freedom? So that you’ll still have some form of future? Now, I can’t know what you did before you appeared in the boy’s head. But there must’ve been a reason you did something like that, right?

‘To live eternally, or to properly die… Sounds so cheap now that I think about it.’

“Now, like I said, I won’t judge. Everyone has their reasons and only they can truly understand their importance,” Kent shrugged. “But whatever your reason is, embrace it. Embrace it and then empower it. You need to make sure that it becomes important enough for you to warrant robbing a loved one’s life because of it.”

“Move on.” With that, Kent finished his cup of whisky in one gulp. “Now that I’ve drunk a bit, you probably didn’t need me to say these things to you. It would take time, but you’d get your shit together eventually. You’d probably find another reason to engulf yourself in anyways.”

Endra did not agree or disagree. But he was surprised to learn how similarly the two of the thought.

“Well, it matters little. With this, hopefully, you’ll stand up sooner. And I wanted to talk to you anyways. And I think I’ll want to talk with you some another time as well. It’s honestly a joy to talk with someone like you. The feeling of having your every word truly be heard and understood is a rare joy, despite how sad that sounds.”

Smiling contentedly, Kent poured himself another drink.

“I have another question,” Endra said.

“Go on.”

“What do you want from me?”

Kent chuckled casually and shook his head. “Nothing.”

Oddly, Endra did not feel that Kent was lying. Endra half-expected Kent to add a menacing ‘Yet,’ but that also, didn’t come.

“Now go,” Kent then waved his hand dismissively. “Your schedule as a student will be the same as always. If you need anything, ask.”

Endra nodded. He wanted to trust the Chairman more, but he felt it was impossible. But he did have something he needed.

“Do you know where Rith is?”

“Your Cosmic friend? She came back here with Melayn two weeks ago. She should be staying in her house. Oh, Melayn actually decided to chase after you, so I should probably tell her not to,” Kent said and went to rip a Talisman on his desk.

“Alright.”

Endra planned to give Rith and the Heralt guy a visit tomorrow.

“Oh, also,” Kent continued. “I’ll keep your portal a secret for now. Though, the higher-ups might pressure you for results soon. I heard they went around checking on the other students who are learning portals.”

Endra nodded.

“Goodbye.”

Endra said his own goodbye and walked out of the room. There was no spell obstructing his way.