Defeated By Love - Chapter 45

“Huh?” Shunen’s reaction was slow, and he didn’t quite understand the meaning of his words for a while, but just followed his words, “Yes, yes…”

As soon as the words fell, the two of them were silent.

But it doesn’t seem embarrassing.

The narrow staircase.

The distance between Xie Ruhe and her was less than half a meter. He was standing on a lower ladder, but he still looked a bit taller than her. Warm light casts on him, a halo of fine velvet, and a shallow shadow under his eyes.

His face was not as indifferent as in front of other people, it was a bit more gentle.

Aware of Shunen’s sluggishness, Xie Ruhe lowered his eyes and held her wrist.

His fingertips were slightly cold, like a piece of ice suddenly stuck to his skin, Shunen shrank subconsciously. Xie Ruhe’s movements stopped, without adding gravity, and gently rubbed her fingertips on her hand.

It was like a careless little movement, and it was like a deliberate touch.

Later, Xie Ruhe put the key that he had just taken from her back into her hand.

“You come to open the door.”

Shunen didn’t know why things developed like this.

She went to the kitchen to wash two cups, her thoughts a little confused. His gaze floated to his wrist, the wrist that had just been touched by Xie Ruhe seemed to be hot, and it was so hot that it was constantly burning.

Shunen felt a little uncomfortable, and silly rushed his wrist with cold water.

The living room is very quiet, and from here you can hear the sound of the kettle boiling. Other than that, there was no other movement. But she felt that his presence was particularly obvious, as if she was looking at her nearby.

It is an existence that makes people feel stable, but is so nervous that they don’t know where to put their hands and feet.

Shunen adjusted his mood and returned to the living room with the washed cup.

Xie Ruhe was sitting on the sofa, reading a novel she had placed on the coffee table. Seeing her back, he put down the things in his hand and took the cup from her.

Shunen hesitantly sat down beside him.

Watching him pick up the kettle, pour boiling water into the cup, and then add some cold water.

Xie Ruhe put one cup in front of Shunen.

He swept around and asked casually: “Do you live alone?”

“Yeah.” Shunen whispered, “My mother remarried, and it happened that I… I was sick during that time and moved here. I didn’t live with them.”

Xie Ruhe said, and did not ask any more.

Shunian didn’t know what to say, waiting for his answer in silence.

There was a long silence.

Xie Ruhe didn’t speak as if he was considering it seriously.

This delayed answer made Shunen’s mood inexplicably anxious. She hung her head and played with her fingers, and couldn’t help asking: “Have you considered it?”

Xie Ruhe’s voice was lazy, “Still thinking.”

“…” Even though she knew he had his considerations, she still proposed it on her own initiative. But he didn’t get the answer after considering it for so long, maybe it was really embarrassing.

Shunen said boredly: “Okay, you think about it slowly.”

In the next second, Xie Ruhe suddenly said: “Why don’t you think about it.”

“Huh?” Shunen opened her mouth dullly, “What shall I consider…”

Xie Ruhe withdrew his gaze blankly, his eyes were unnatural: “Consider whether to let me confess to you now, or let me continue chasing you until you agree.”

His tone was extremely serious, as if he was really asking her for advice.

No joking at all.

Shunian swallowed, looking timidly: “You mean, don’t you mind?”

“What should I mind.”

Hearing this, Shunen was silent for a while, then suddenly stood up, barefoot, ran to the bookcase and pulled out several books. She walked back and stuffed the book into Xie Ruhe’s arms like a gift.

Confused by her sudden movement, Xie Ruhe was stunned and said, “What is this?”

Shunen opened one of the books: “It’s a book about PTSD, with symptoms.” She turned to a certain place and read to him in a low voice: “There will be depressive psychological reactions, often expressed as despair, helplessness, guilt, Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, insecurity, etc., serious suicide attempts or behaviors…”

She spoke faster, as if a little anxious.

Xie Ruhe interrupted her suddenly and said seriously: “Shu Nian, I will find out.”

Shunen lowered his eyes and said in a low voice, “I have been seeing a psychologist. I took medicine for more than a year before, and then slowly stopped under the doctor’s advice. Now I don’t take any medicine.”

“…”

Shunen emphasized with little confidence: “The doctor also said that my condition is pretty good…”

Xie Ruhe said, “I know.”

“That’s right.” Shunen’s eyes were sore after listening to him, and she suddenly wanted to cry, “I am much better now, not that serious, and it won’t be as scary as the one mentioned above…”

Want him to understand clearly.

But he was worried that he would retreat after understanding.

There will always be something that I particularly want. If I want to get it, I will try my best to explain it, and try to narrow his own flaws in his eyes, but he has no confidence and dare not speak too much.

Xie Ruhe pursed his lips and said bluntly, “I don’t mind.”

Shunen’s voice paused for a few seconds, and soon he started to speak again, with a trembling tail: “I think that if you say this, you may not have so many worries…”

“Even if you don’t say that.” Xie Ruhe said calmly, “I have no worries.”

At this moment.

All worries and fears are completely gone, leaving only the rejoicing for the rest of my life. Shunian blushed, and immediately lowered his head, whimpering and saying, “I want to wait until the illness is completely cured…”

But it may not be possible to wait for a perfect day.

It is difficult to cure mental illness completely, Shunen knows it.

“Do you want to wait?” Xie Ruhe leaned over, wiped away her tears with his fingertips, and stared at her, “Like you before, I want to wait until my legs are completely healed before considering this matter.”

“…”

“But now I think.” Xie Ruhe’s lips curled up, “It’s really unnecessary.”

Like someone and want to be with him, there should be no preconditions. This is the right of anyone, where there are so many rules, where there is so much unnecessary waiting.

Those who want to be better and more perfect mentality are the driving force to heat up the relationship, not the obstacle of restriction. Because these things can be done with that person, and done in the company of that person.

Love is not just a request, it is a gift without asking for return.

Shunen’s voice still has a nasal tone: “This is different.”

Xie Ruhe was very patient: “Where is it different.”

“You’re almost done.” Shunen said with a low self-esteem, “but I am not necessarily.”

Xie Ruhe tilted his head and asked in a low voice, “Why don’t I be with you?”

Shunen said, “Isn’t this fair to you?”

If I knew I would like him so much one day.

Shunian wanted to go back half a year ago, back to the day when he reunited with Xie Ruhe, telling him at that time that he liked him, and then slowly getting better with him.

She also wanted to accompany him through that difficult time.

“Then you would be unfair to me.”

“…” Because of his calm and indifferent appearance, Shunen’s inner anxiety grew stronger and she couldn’t help but lose her temper, “You shouldn’t be like this, you have to think seriously.”

Xie Ruhe was taken aback: “What.”

The year of the book is depressed, and the things that he felt nervous for so long seemed to him to be just a trivial little thing: “You have to think about it. This is a major event in life.”

“…” Because of her last four words, Xie Ruhe paused for several seconds before suddenly laughing.

Shunen’s eyes were still red, he looked up suddenly, and said angrily: “Why are you laughing at me?”

Like a little rabbit with fried hair.

Xie Ruhe didn’t speak, the corners of his mouth were still raised, and he didn’t restrain himself.

Shunen didn’t care about him anymore: “I made no mistake.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Xie Ruhe said with a smile, “I shouldn’t have laughed.”

He admitted his mistakes quickly, but didn’t apologize.

Shunian was still angry and didn’t say a word.

Xie Ruhe didn’t speak any more, staring at her quietly, her eyes deep and passionate with crow feather-like eyelashes. His eyes seemed to be warm, focused and scorching.

She lost her temper in an instant, and she unnaturally opened her eyes: “Don’t look at me.”

Xie Ruhe raised his eyebrows: “Can’t you see?”

“It’s not that I can’t watch…” Shunen was so nervous that he couldn’t breathe smoothly, and his voice was soft and waxy, “Just don’t watch it all the time, it will make me feel…”

“What do you think.”

Shunen didn’t know how to describe this feeling.

She raised her head cautiously and glanced in the direction of Xie Ruhe. Seeing his peachy eyes that seemed to be discharging, and his overly glamorous lips, she couldn’t help but said the words in her heart: “You seem to seduce me.”

She said the word “seduce” extremely quietly.

But Xie Ruhe still heard clearly. His face froze, and his appearance became extremely unnatural, as if she had broken his mind.

He didn’t know what response to make in an instant.

The topic was suddenly zoomed out.

Shunen felt that what he had just said was inappropriate, and his brain was confused and blank. Fearing him to be angry, she stumbling and stumbling away from the subject: “It seems to be late…”

“…”

Shunen touched the water glass and said, “The water is cold, I will boil some more water.”

She picked up the kettle and went to the water dispenser to fill it with water.

Only the sound of water can be heard in a small room.

This sudden silence made the scene seem embarrassing.

Shunen struggled with what to say to him for a while.

Almost at the same time she released the water dispenser button, Xie Ruhe’s voice suddenly sounded behind her.

“Shu Nian. I don’t know if you know it, the second time I saw you in the hospital, I threw the phone on purpose because I saw you with other men.”

Shunian paused and looked back at him.

“I’m telling you that I’m waiting for Fang Wencheng to drive over. It will take a while, but he is in the parking lot nearby. My hands are actually not uncomfortable. I just want to find a reason to stay with you.”

“In the audition later, I deliberately found Li Hong and asked him to find a new actor to audition. Because I wanted to see you.”

“I called you on my birthday because I saw you and Xu Zeyuan talking when I was looking for you.”

He speaks very slowly, as if he is reminiscing, but also a little embarrassed because of his behavior. But all the time Xie Ruhe said these words, his eyes were on her body, without a trace of dodge.

Shunian stared at him and fell into his deep eyes.

“You said we have known each other for ten years. Time has passed very quickly.” Xie Ruhe licked the corner of his lips and said with a dumb voice, “but I didn’t tell you. I like you for ten years.”

“…”

“From the time we met, to separation, and to meet again. I never liked anyone, nor did I want to forget you and like other people.”

“It’s not what you think. I like you because I have been with you for a long time. It is because I like you that I will try my best to stay with you.”

“It’s not that you haven’t taken your concerns seriously, but I don’t think it is necessary. Other things are unnecessary to me, because I just want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you forever.”

He is not good at expressing.

When he said these words, he seemed extremely nervous and his face flushed. It’s like becoming a teenage boy who doesn’t understand anything, just wants to dedicate his whole heart to the girl he likes.

Don’t want to hide yourself again.

Just want to tell her how much he likes her.

Let her be completely relieved.

Shunen stayed where she was, her lips moved, but she didn’t speak.

After saying these words, Xie Ruhe looked extremely uncomfortable and stood up: “I like you, you can consider whether you want to stay with me.”

“…”

He added softly: “I’ll be nice to you.”

Seeing that Shunian was too late to speak, Xie Ruhe was not in a hurry to ask for an answer. He just said: “You can wait until you think about it before telling me. It’s late, I’ll go back first.”

Shunen stared at him, looking a little dazed.

Xie Ruhe touched the back of his neck: “You go to bed earlier.”

He raised his foot and walked in the direction of the hallway, when he was about to open the door.

Behind him, there was the clash of the hot water bottle being placed on the table, and the crisp sound of feet hitting the ground. Accompanied by Shunen’s voice: “Xie Ruhe.”

Xie Ruhe looked back.

Shunen’s eyes were bright, as if they were very nervous, his cheeks flushed, and his breathing seemed to be rapid. She walked up to him, put her hand into his palm, and said solemnly, “Okay.”

“…”

“I’ll be nice to you too.” She whispered.