Destroy Your New Life Repair It Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming Yolo - 18 Spot check OR the affair of the locked-classroom!

It’s been 2 months I’m married, nothing happened in my bed but I know share my room with my student… It sounds quite pedophile, I know, but technically I am 8, and she is… Shit, I forgot the age of my new wife, and about remembering her birthday… Well we’ll say 12 or 13 years.

Today is an incredible day, an indestructible day, a perfect day!

-Hello, AI!

-Hello, master.

I whistle today!

Because today is a Monday! And I hold classes!

What a beautiful day!

My disciple leaves the bed and joins me while I eat and whistle.

She seems happy today!

-Honey, do you know what day today is?

-Yes, yes.

I don’t know why she call me honey since we’re married, but she can’t stop herself, thanks goodness “Darling” don’t exist in this world! I don’t want to drive a Franxx me!*

-Today is a special day!

Oh? What did she notice? How does she know? I panic a bit but I calm down quickly: if she knew it, how would she be happy?

Her birthday?

No, it’s clearly not that, it would be too much of a coincidence, how can the author who’s typing on his keyboard would do this, after all, it would just hang the reader, allow to do embarrassing scenes and increase the views with a click-bait** title? No, it’s certainly something else! After all, the title of the chapter is talking of the affair of the locked-classroom, absolutely not of an affair between me and my wife!

My spirit is calming down and I return to my room*** to take sheets, while my wife goes to the classroom.

I take advantage of her departure to photocopy a sheet in… 2 copies! In fact I do 3 just in case, and I take care to ensure that the sheets are indestructible under the rank 4, in order to prevent any accidental destruction.

[…]

I enter the classroom.

My students, numbering 2, are obediently and politely seated in the classroom…

No.

I’ll stop fibbing.

One is playing with a doll of me, and the other is trying to throw magma balls in the wastepaper basket.

It’s a bit hot so I open the windows.

Shit.

It’s winter.

Through staying shut in I didn’t know the seasons anymore and as I was always going out by a sunny day (and because the author forgot to change the season), I was expecting a tepid and pleasant air, not a blizzard!

The wind goes through the classroom and pieces of ice are entering the room.

Everyone stays indifferent to it, after all why fear mere ice? The ice blocks are breaking against their skin! But I prefer to close the window!

It’s freezing!

It’s fucking freezing!

I activate the heat control runes on the ceiling (the floor is too dangerous, too much risks that these turbulent students wreck the formation, it could cause an explosion, disrupt it or just cut it, so the floor and the walls are excluded).

The ceiling heating system is absolutely long, and as the heat ascends, we heat up more the room above than the classroom, but it’s fine.

I drop off my 3 sheets thick of 15 centimeters each, and say:

-Do you remember when I said to you to not take your bag with you because we have a special schedule, that just a pencil was necessary? Today is a great day! Spot check!

-Eeeeehhhhhh??? Isn’t it an activity or something??? And my birthday???

Oh! So her birthday was really today! But anyway, as every teacher, I strongly believe that my students are studying and will have a good grade and will greatly benefit of this spot check.

-You’ll have your birthday present: a good grade because you of course worked hard and did your homework, no?

-Hmm, I had a family problem…

-I’m with you all the day, you never had any family problem!

-Well precisely, I can’t work without looking at my sheet, and when I’m with you, I inevitably look at you, and when I look at you, I can’t stop looking at you, so it’s impossible to work!

-…

I’m without words before her shamelessness…

And yes I use too clever words when I’m not finding equivalents for an English word!****

-Well, anyway, today is spot check! So don’t disappoint me, okay?

The imperial mage seems calm.

Having already taken precautions beforehand, rummaged through and turned inside out the room, I activate the confinement formation, and say to them:

-You have the right to cooperate, you have an hour.

I turn off the light and lock the door.

[…]

-How will we do?

Say Marie, she seems to panic.

Finally, the calm mask of the imperial mage is drop and he says:

-I absolutely don’t have any idea for any answer of the test! It’s too much advanced! What does he mean write a dissertation of 4 pages about the limits of the magic in space control?

-Senpai*****, we’re not going to be able to do it! We need to find a way to fix things!

What a shrewd girl! She took advantage of the obsucity to press her chest against the arm of the imperial amge. But he stays calm, and just gulp.

-Listen, I still have some techniques up in my sleeve. We’ll start by traditional ways.

He lean to look under what seems to be a totally normal closet, but detach from it a paper.

He opens it.

-Let’s see… Wha…

He freeze. It arouses the curiosity of Marie who cast a glance above his shoulder, she freeze too.

On the paper is written a simple sentence: “Do you really think I would let you cheat like that? Be careful behind you, something that activate when you move might be there, something really dangerous…”.

-Senpai, what do we do?

-Let’s stay there by precaution for a bit.

[…]

It’s been 10 minutes they are motionless, and the words on the paper are changing : “Congratulations, you just lost a sixth of your test to watch a sheet! Move your ass now!”

-Fuck!

-Heeyy ! Master, it’s mean!

-My honey is so sadist… I love this!

-Huh? Is it the moment to think about the “games” you’re again going to try to force him to do this evening?

-Hmm, yes, maybe the moment is not appropriate…

-Quick, we don’t have much time left!

-We’re not going to hand in a blank exam paper right?

-I refuse to admit defeat, I was student longer than him! For more than 5 years!

Only, little does he know that no one in this world have more experience in the cheating domain than me! With a personality like that, how do you think that a lazy guy as well as a nolife was able to become a math teacher? I even cheated for my competitive exam! I’m an expert! And as all teachers, I’m also used to all kind of stratagems!

Hum hum! All of that to say that no one have more experience in the cheat domain than me!

I already forecasted everything!

When the imperial mage and the disciple are trying to move, they become aware that they are unable to move their feet, they are like glued to the floor!

They are not able anymore to reach the sheets!

-And fuck!

-They are really glued??? Seriously, master, it’s the peak of evil! My honey is such a sadist!!!

In the middle of their reactions, the sheet seems to be flying out of the hands of the imperial mage by itself.

She stops and float before the eyes of the dumbstruck students!

On it, are written a few words:

“Let’s test your escaping capacity now!

Your feet are stuck, you are 10 meters apart from your papers. In 50 minutes, in case of lack of answer, the copy will self-destruct, and you’ll have to forget the idea of being my students!”

The sheet turns over and other words are appearing!

“You have 50 minutes to answer the question, after all, you gently stayed at the same place 10 minutes the time for the glue to take effect!

Oh, I almost forgot! There are some stakes: mines and others traps have been disseminated almost everywhere in the classroom, from now on, they are all activated!

It is possible that the traps might activate by themselves from time to time, even if you avoid them! So be careful!

Don’t underestimate the traps, I’ll get rid of one for you as demonstration!”

With a clack, a fireball of tremendous heat is moving toward the sheet!

The sheet burns!

-What? Impossible! Even for me I would need at least an hour to burn a sheet made of such a resistant material!

-Senior brother*****, what does that mean?

-It can only mean one thing: the attack was infinitely close from the power of a rank 5! Even me am not sure to be able to take even one of these attacks! As for you…

-Yes, senior brother, we can’t permit ourselves to trigger even one of these traps! Aaaaahhhhhh! He’s so sadistic, depraved, corrupted, vicious, bestial, immoral and aaaahhhh, cruel! Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

A sharp scream reverberates in the dark night… Well it’s the day but the room is dark it’s okay no?

She came… Seriously do such perverts exist nowadays? At 13 years on top of that?

The last ashes of the sheet are still fluttering a bit before being attracted out of the room by a mysterious draft…

*Reference not even thinly veiled to Darling of the Franxx.

**Click-bait is putaclic in French, literally bitch for clicks.

***I used room instead of bedroom since the start, and I continue like that, as actually be it a bedroom or a simple room it changes nothing to the story development.

****Wanted to use shamelessness in French but didn’t find any equivalent so used a formal sentence.

*****As shamelessness, it’s really the most appropriate word, sorry for inserting so much different language elements in the novel xD.