Destroy Your New Life Repair It Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming Yolo - 22 Big revelations OR WHAT OMG WTF WTH LMAO HIP HIP HIP BANG!

-Enter, you can. Repeat myself, don’t make me.

-Yes yes, I come.

I enter in the room.

Inside, I a stone with magma, an wise aura, that float and talk with a deep voice!

Absolutely false!

Inside, the resistants are shouting “surprise!” and are laughing of their prank!

Absolutely false too!

There is just a stone… A big stone… And the room is empty… No style, no beard, nothing… Just a stone…

I see a crack slowly taking shape in the middle of the stone, when talking it starts (I think I’m being influenced here…).

-For this meeting, I was waiting.

-Oh yes, at that point.

-Revelations, I prepared…

-Huh?

-Earth’s Moar, ready are you?

(A/N: after this chapter, when necessary, I’ll use Moar of Earth, Moar of Nyggloth and Moar of the Empire to distinguish his names as I didn’t give him a name on Earth and in the Empire).

-Eh? How do you know my name?

-And a revelation, one!

-Wait, how do you know my name?

-My omniscience than the knowledge tree one only of one level lower is.

-Oh!

The knowledge tree is an entity reputed to know everything. Very peaceful, it doesn’t seem to have its own opinion. It’s like a “world mind” that only has as opinion the one of every living being (and non-living), which make it particularly idle. Nobody knows how a tree was able to become this powerful, but as I have a stone before me, it’s only half surprising to me. At least, a tree is alive, and as the intelligence increase with rank, it’s okay, but a stone… How was it even able to cultivate?

-A lot of questions yourself you ask, but as for me, one question I only have.

-Oh yes, I was thinking you were omniscient?

-Almost my friend, almost. But one thing I want to know…

I frown.

-Which one?

-In the world there are great powers… If to be calculated my rank was, rank 300 I would be…

-300? Higher than Merlin, than Gods? You are equal to Moth?

-In power only… And yet, something is blocking my sight… In the imperial palace, I cannot see…

-Seriously?

-More exactly, a particular point invisible is to me.

-How is it possible for someone more powerful than you to be in the palace, the emperor is just rank 5!

-No, someone else it is. My knowledge threads, he cut.

-Your knowledge threads? What is it?

-Just a connection with all places the omniscience is, in some kind of energy this connection is made, knowledge thread this is called.

I suppose that the omnipotence is working in a similar way, by pulling these threads, I think. But rather than concentrate on that, first …

-Can’t you speak normally?

-Sorry, recently I was watching Star Wars in your brain, I’m quite a fan you know… You should import earthling films at Nyggloth.

-I’ll think about it.

-Cough Cough, let’s go back to the subject… This mysterious entity is able to cut my threads.

-Given that it is in the imperial palace, it is highly probable that…

-It is the real master of the Empire who pull the strings.

-By the way, if you could stop interrupting me, I know you know everything including what I think but it’s a pain!

-Yes, sorry…

-So it’s stopping your rebellion from acting! And that’s all?

-Moth is still sleeping, but I know, as the gods know, that her sleep is not natural. Someone forced her to.

-Certainly this man. He is after all at least as powerful as you two… It’s strange he didn’t make any move…

-So, what’s my utility in here? I’m just rank 5 no?

-It’s not hard, as you are weak, he’ll underestimate you and you’ll be able to spy him without problem. After all he has the same attention towards you than you have towards an ant under your foot…

-Sorry, I don’t like to step on insects.

-I know, but I didn’t have time to finish, I know everything, so I was about to add “when you have shoes”.

-Phew, I’m relieved.

-It is time for you to go sacrifi… Hum, to go help the cause…

-Yes, see you!

[…]

I leave the cave and the stone look in the void for a few seconds…

That Freudian slip was a close one!

[…]

I’m not sure of the truth of the information given by an almost-omniscient being of rank 300, so I idecide to go to do what he want and to cross my sources after obtaining more information.

But what the stone don’t know (in truth it knows but I have the right to bury my hand in the sand no ?), is that my AI worked since its creation to its growth in all the palace! Now the palace, from the roof to the last floor, the floor -15 is now covered by the system.

I take a parchment I specially made for the occasion, it’s a bit cheaper version of the ParchMoar™ 8K of ©MoarNygglothOfficial that I released in Nyggloth. By lack of time and budget, this parchment only has 4K, doesn’t have applications nor camera, but it’s more than enough.

I watch the emperor for about 2 hours…

[…]

After 1 minute…

Well, it starts being boring…

[…]

After one minute and half…

Well, it’s really boring now!

[…]

After 2 minutes…

It’s really… Zzzz…

[…]

After 2 hours…

-Biiiip, Biiiip, Moar, it’s time to wake up, the emperor is moving.

My AI wake me up, still tired, I see the emperor who starts going down.

And then I realize something: I’m at several thousands of kilometers of the palace! How will I manage to follow him by myself!

It’s sure that the enemy is in a secret room filled of traps behind passages full of traps!

So I have to follow him myself, else I wouldn’t know what he’s doing outside of the formation.

I have about… Yes, from 2000 to 5000km… Let’s throw a dice of 3000… Ouep… 2892… So it’s 4892km… Cough5thwallCoughCough…

So I have to do this in 5 minutes max… 4892 divided by 300… 16,306666666666666666666666666667km/s!

Phew I had a scare, it’s still doable, it’s 17km/s and the speed of light is of 299792km/s…

But it’s 61200km/h!

So as my body was starting to fall apart after 2500km/h…

It’s almost 25 times this speed!

And a bit quicker than teleportation between cities! So no teleportation would let me be quick enough! What’s making teleportations this long are the tollbooth and the identity check!

So I’m going to take the risk of disintegration at such a high speed, with the rubbing of the air, without talking about the obstacles…

This is what any mage would think!

But I’m not anyone… I’m an earthling!

The orbital travel, does it sound familiar to you?

I’m going to take 2 minutes to take off, 2 minutes to land and rush at an incredible speed to do 2892km in 1 minute! I can hold my breath for 1 minute easily even in space and my magic can stop me from imploding!

I hurry to cover my skin of a layer of soil that I transform in brick with fire. It’s to be able to not burn by the flames when I’ll go down, and to escape to the sad end of becoming a block of ice.

Wrapped in a layer of brick, I JUUMMMMPPPPPPP in one go in the space!

My power should be insufficient, but magic is here for that, I use my aura as an explosion engine!

Once in space, I use all my possessions and launch what I’ll call irresponsibility in waste!

I link up teleportations at such a speed that I give the impression to move at the speed I want, and I use a tenth of the Empire’s GDP in mana crystals in around a minute!

Anyone, including Merlin, would have an heartache watching me just from the idea to use so much money just to go faster, but I’m not scared of doing it!

I finish my teleportation streak and start going down!

It’s there that the problem with the use of so much teleportations (that is by the way the same than when you use the levitation on yourself): I’m sick!

[…]

The same peasant who was in his field earlier…

He hears a sound, and raises his eyes… And discover, with surprise a second sun!

But something feels off…

“Why does this sun keep getting bigger and bigger?”, he asks himself?

And it is then that a hole was created besides him. Of this hole, a man goes out.

This man, he’s me!

[…]

-Sorry, here is a bit of money to pay for the bath!

-The bath? Why? You didn’t dirty me in any way! I can’t accept such a thing?

-Well, if you want, bye!

I quickly take back the money, do a hand gesture, and leave to the capital, which is not far!

[…]

Watching the figure disappearing in the horizon, the man sighs…

-I still don’t know what could have got me dirty…

In the middle of his words, several liters of vomit fall on him!

-Sir? Finally I need a bath! Sir? Give me my money! Beeeuuuuaaaaarrrggghhh!

He can’t stop himself from throwing up, and I can’t too while telling this. After all my main propulsion and direction mean while I was falling was throwing up!

You can imagine me flying with a rainbow propelling me! A perfect Nyancat ! The 18+ gore version!

[…]

In any case, during my fall, I lost all my limbs! Quite happily, I made them grow up!

While I’m thinking this, I’m a bit distracted!

And a tree collide my crotch! I’m taken of a horrible pain!

False! I spat rubbish, in truth I dodged it! Admit you were scared!

[…]

During this time, I didn’t give up the surveillance of the emperor.

He had the time to go down until the 14th floor…

I’ll avoid repeating each time that it’s the under the earth floors to avoid losing time! There is only a first floor, the second and the third floor in the place, so above 3, it’s in the negative!

[T/N : the floors are American ones, so first is the ground floor for British, this note is because it might be confusing for readers if they wait the end of the chapters to read the notes for such an important matter, I don’t know how Americans do for negative floors so I decided that under the 1 is the -1 then under it is the -2, etc…]

[…]

I caught up to him, finally!

Fuck this emperor is quick!

He just entered the 16th floor.

I’m hidden by my formation’s AI so I just walk normally behind him, all the noises and even the light are intercepted and sorted by the AI. Like that no one knows I’m here.

The emperor closes in to the back of the room. These are just normal dormitories, here where a part of the millions of soldiers of the capital are living. A big room, rectangular.

He approaches of a corner of the room.

Everyone’s look seems to be slipping away from him. Certainly magic, else the eyes of people wouldn’t be unconsciously avoiding this part of the room.

The emperor comes near it, and leans on one of the side of the corner for a few seconds, with an old and tired air.

After his little rest, the emperor straighten and moveAprès son petit repos, l’empereur se redresse e throught the other corner’s wall, directly, like it doesn’t exist…

And then…

Platform 9 ¾!

OMG!

I hurry to run after him and rush to the wall!

-Ow!

I hurt my forehead, I’m fortunate my formation is stopping the noises I’m making!

I then tackle some complicated calculations…

[…]

It’s been about 2 seconds I calculate.

To be able to better calculate, I leaned on a wall, the same wall the emperor leaned earlier, and it turns out that I discovered by chance the runic equivalent of a switch!

I don’t know what’s it’s starting, but I have nothing to lose!

I don’t test by using my finger!

I’m a natural player!

I run in the direction of the wall!

And I close in… I go through it!

Hooray!

-Hip Hip Hip, Hou…

BANG!

I hardly start celebrating that I bang into the wall behind! I ended in a little corridor, and I ran straight into the corridor’s wall!