Destroying the Virgin-the Making of a Saint- - Chapter 2: Virgin Mary of Purity
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- Chapter 2: Virgin Mary of Purity
It was during one of my lectures at the university that I encountered her… “Fukiyama Akane” for the first time. By nature, being in the medical department, it was almost never the case that I, a medical student, and she, a physical education student, would share a lecture together. Nevertheless, I happened to spot her in a compulsory class that was standard for all the departments.
She was morbidly striking. With a sculpture-like physique developed in the track and field team, she was an outstanding student. On top of that, she was rumored to be devoid of all interest in sexual affairs… and was indeed an unsullied, pure, and virgin mary. At first sight, an electric shock shot through my brain. She was “art”.
Along with that, a sense of responsibility sprouted within me that I had to preserve this beautiful “art” with my own hands as I grasped the beauty of this woman.
From then on, I became thoroughly fascinated with her. As much research as I could find out about her, I thought about what I had to do to get my hands on her as well. Analyzing everything about her, from her personal information such as her address to her hobbies and favorite restaurants, I grasped all the details. Preparations were all set.
And when I was ready, I opted to confess my feelings to her… Akane.
Akane was on her way to club activities after the lecture when I halted her and called her into the back of the school building. I conveyed my feelings to her subsequently. Not a trace of nervousness followed me. After all, I was already convinced at this point that she and I were destined to be together.
Akane, on the other hand, was taken aback. Well, it was reasonable at first. Because this was the first time that Akane and I had a face-to-face conversation. While I knew Akane, she did not know me.
“Sorry… first of all, it’s the first time we’ve talked, right? Or rather, have we met somewhere…?”
“I’ve been watching you all this time. You simply didn’t realize it, all along.”
For some reason, a troubled, tight look spread across Akane’s features. This proposal from me, who knew her so well and wanted to do everything for her, inexplicably elicited no joy from Akane.
“I know all about you. For you, nobody exists above me. For me as well, nobody exists above you, in short, we seek each other. Wouldn’t you, being an outstanding individual, understand that?”
One after another, I listed each piece of knowledge about Akane that I was aware of. Address, hobbies, part-time job, hometown high school… there wasn’t anything I didn’t already know about her. In a nutshell, this illustrated the depth of my affection for Akane. Would there be any other man who knew and loved Akane this much apart from me? No, no way there would be.
So… I was supposed to be the perfect man for Akane, and we were meant to be together. Akane’s countenance, however, steadily darkened the more she listened to me. On the contrary, Akane’s expression deteriorated even further, turning into one of fear and aversion toward me.
“Anyway, I can’t go out with you. Please excuse me now as I have club activities to attend.”
“Wait… you should be with me, how can you not understand that? You are supposed to be different from other morons… Akane!”
Akane attempted to flee from my sight like she was on the run. Whether she was upset or embarrassed, Akane’s attitude was far from candid. Akane must have recognized, nonetheless, that being with me—who knew everything about her—would bring her bliss.
Grabbing Akane’s thin, white arm, I forcefully pushed her down.
“Let go of me! No! Somebody! Somebody help me!”
I had heard that Akane had no experience with romantic relationships or dating. So it was understandable why she felt embarrassed after hearing a declaration of love from the opposite sex. Her inability to be honest was likewise palpable to me. Regardless, I could not leave Akane’s response in the dust. That was why I resorted to aggressive measures, even if it was pitiful for Akane.
“Akane… there is no need to be shy. Everything about you is known to me. Your genuine feelings too… so you don’t have to mask them… from me!”
I figured that if I aggressively cornered Akane, she would be honest with me. Notwithstanding, the more pressure I exerted to hold Akane down, the fiercer her resistance grew.
“…Let go!”
A dull sensation blasted into my cheek at the same time that Akane let out a cry that bordered on a shriek.
It was Akane’s fist. Her desperate struggle blew me away, and I was knocked against the wall of the school building.
I was no stranger to being beaten by women. However, this moment was the most intense pain in my memory.
“Enough… I… someone like you…”
I didn’t catch Akane’s last words.
I did recollect that it was incredibly heartbreaking, though. Akane must have denied me.
Hearing the commotion, onlookers rushed to the scene and restrained me, forcing me to separate myself from Akane.
In the midst of this, I was unconsciously shedding tears. No matter what the onlookers cursed me for, it was a minor, inconsequential matter to me.
But the look in Akane’s eyes as she watched me being restrained. When my eyes intersected with Akane’s, which revealed her discomfort and frightened me, I was plagued by intolerable agony.
I had hurt her, albeit unintentionally. Feeling solely responsible for this, I cried out in fury against myself.
“I am sorry, I am sorry… Akane. But I am positive that you will understand. You and I are…”
And simultaneously with my rage, my sense of responsibility to preserve Akane’s existence at all costs deepened… within me.
Because she was an exceptional individual, I thought words alone would be enough to get my point through to her. But unfortunately, she may not be as intelligent as I assumed.
Therefore, it was inevitable. It pained me to have to be as rough with her as I was today. Would she forgive me for my powerlessness, for my inability to preserve her only by such measures?