Diana - Chapter 192

Immediately I said those words, his eyes got clouded with sadness, making me feel bad, but I’m scared with how I’m feeling now and didn’t like what will happen if I gave in to it.

I’m like a used goods now. I can’t recall the number of times I had that bastard inside me. His moan of pleasure, his hands roaming all over my body, his naked body laying on mine after he’s done, our perspiration mating after our body is through.

The feeling of having my body pleasuring the man that want my baby dead, the man that hurt the man I love. Everything was horrible. I held on because of hopes that a day like this might come.

A day I will get to know my daughter is doing fine and will be happy. A day I will be this close to my love again.

The day came, but I can’t let myself get too greedy. Looking into his eyes, I spoke again, “I only said I miss you because we agreed to be friends, please don’t misunderstand.” I added.

Seeing him not saying anything and not moving, I averted my gaze and blink non stop. Even though I said all that, I’m scared he will take it seriously and maintain a distance from me.

“You’re married to me first Stella. Did you sign a divorce paper and forged my signature on it?” He asked in a sad tone, while his hand that was resting at my neck line return back to his side.

Yes, I’m married to him as well. We registered our marriage after we eloped and had a mini celebration, go on dates and many more.

We aren’t divorced, so I’m still legally his wife, legally married to two men. I got married to another like he doesn’t exist anymore.

“No.” I said.

“I’m not forcing anything on you Stella, I just want to know, I want us to talk about it.” he said.

“It was hard.” I muttered.

“Did he hurt you?” Alex asked again.

I understand the hurt he’s referring to. He was wondering if he raped me. “He didn’t.” I replied honestly.

Although he’s a crazy bastard, he never use violence on me. He cleaned me up himself after pleasing himself and returned me back to bed, help me select a night wear and wrapped himself around me all through the night.

It’s not like I struggled, so I’m not sure if he’s capable of using sanctions. Aside from intentionally making me witness the gruesome scene of how he makes his men killed a human, he never did anything to hurt my feelings.

He was into the idea of making food for me when we first married, but I refused to eat it and he stopped. He’s a psycho, a being that shouldn’t live among humans. I wonder if he thinks he’s showing love by doing all that, that lunatic.

Alex heaved a sigh of relief after my reply. “I’m sorry you have to go through all that.” he said.

My eyes were already getting heavy with tears. I could tell he didn’t know exactly how to show that he’s sorry, but I’m cool. The fact that he understands me alone is enough.

“Stella, could you consider us again if all this is over?” he asked and the World around me freeze for a minute.

What did he just said? I was scared of wanting him with my used body and he want me? “Alex..” my voice came out low as he leaned closer, our lips inches apart.

“You don’t have to answer me today,” he paused, while his right hand reached for my neckline once more, his thumb caress my chin softly.

I gulped to his face, as I couldn’t avoid it this time. I can’t believe we are like this when we’re no longer in our twenties.

He continued after his lips stretched into a smile after my gulp, “take your time, as we still have a lot to get rid of before we can enjoy it, but please let me know if I can still have a chance, if we can still be together.” He said.

He really knows how to make requests and not be pushy. How to make a request and make you unable to refuse him, outlining the things that can make one reject him and craft everything in a way that will be beneficial to both parties.

I’m lost here. I was trying to not let our conversation get to this stage a few minutes ago, but here we are, already in the stage.

“Alex I’m not..” He didn’t let me finish what I was about to say again. That’s the Alex I know. As long as he could still see reluctant in my voice over something, he wouldn’t allow me land before using his sweet persuasion.

But is it right for me to get greedy over him? to really put my experience with Shane behind and move on, be with him?

“Give me the chance to love you like I didn’t get to. It’s not too late and I want us to spend the rest of the time left for us being happy.

Stella, there’s never too late for happiness.” he added and yes! he did it again.

Even though I felt like a roughly used goods, I also want to be happy. I’ve always dreamt of such moments, happy moments.

I wonder if he has forgotten that our lips are inches apart and every word he spoke fed my ears with goodness, heart with warmth, showered my nose with fresh breath and my lips with ticklish sensation.

“Alex, I’m nothing but a used goods without any value.” I voiced out, not hiding my inner thoughts.

I wasn’t expecting him to smile, but he did. “When a used good falls into the right hands Stella, it will last longer than the fresh one in the wrong hands.

Also, when a used goods is being wanted badly by someone, it will be cherished and become worthy than a fresh good falling into the hands of someone who’s not really interested in it.

I’m not forcing you, but pleading. Please consider me when all this is over.” He said.

I didn’t know where the tears came from, but they started dropping. He made it feels like being used by that bastard is no big deal. He makes me feel good about myself.