Did Not Say Anything About My Feelings - Chapter 30. Do You Still Mean It?

During the rehearsal, the PD and the mentors were all present.

Lin Ye stood on the stage, the theme song was stuck in his mind. The dazzling stage lights shone on his body and he turned his head to the side to look over. The excitement on his teammates’ faces was very obvious. The audience seats below the stage were completely empty, and only Shen-PD and the mentors were sitting in the first row, their expression was unclear due to the lighting.

His heartbeat was steady and his expression was as normal. It was not that he was calm when faced with such situations, it was simply because he kept feeling like the whole situation was not real.

Based on the program, they were the first group to go onstage. During the rehearsal, Lin Ye’s performance was very average. He was not very outstanding, but it was alright. In the whole team, only Jiang Lian had stage experience. It was the first time on stage for the remaining team members, and whether it was in terms of their positioning on stage or their awareness of the cameras on stage, they had parts that they were lacking.

For the first time, the vocal teacher commented on Lin Ye and said that he was ‘alright’. Lin Ye stood on the stage and bowed to the mentors to thank them. He knew perfectly well that the vocal teacher’s ‘alright’ did not mean that his performance was alright, instead, it just meant that his voice, when mixed in with the timbre of the other five people, did not seem abrupt, and would not become a clear failure in the entire performance.

Shen-PD gave them some tips on camera awareness, and in the end, he said, “I know that you few are not feeling very nervous now. It’s because there is completely no audience right now. The rehearsal and the actual performance are completely different. I hope that when the few of you get on stage later, you’ll be able to stay calm in the face of everything.”

The dance mentor added, “The most important thing is to keep eye contact with the fans. Don’t avoid it, try your best to convey your emotions towards your performance. A perfect performance is one that will allow you to convey your heart to the fans.”

The six people bowed in thanks and got offstage to take a sit in the waiting room. There were trainees from the fifteen other groups walking back and forth next to them, and time passed by with the footsteps of the other trainees. Everyone’s expression slowly turned from calm to anxious.

At exactly six in the evening, the thousand fans entered the venue. The staff member had switched on the livestream in the waiting room, and the screen was directly connected to the audience seats right in front of the stage. A large, colorful fluorescent sea showed up in everyone’s vision, along with the fans’ yelling.

Even though he knew perfectly well that none of those fans were shouting for him, Lin Ye’s heart could not help beating faster with those sounds.

This quick heartbeat became more worked up and energized when his feet landed on the dazzling stage and he saw the fans with shining eyes that were below the stage. Only then did Lin Ye finally have a real and unprecedented sense of reality about the concept of being on stage.

The staff members passed the microphone to Lin Ye, and the team did their self-introductions successively from him. The screams off-stage increased every time the microphone was passed to a new person. It was when the microphone was passed into Jiang Lian, who was standing in the middle did the voices of the fans almost reach their peak.

When the microphone was passed from Jiang Lian to Yan Changfei, Yan Changfei, who was standing next to Jiang Lian was in a daze for a moment and did not catch the microphone that Jiang Lian passed to him. The microphone fell to the ground with a muffled sound and Yan Changfei hurriedly bent down to pick it up, holding on to the microphone and saying, “I’m sorry.”

Shen-PD smiled gently, helping him get out of the awkward situation, “Are you too nervous?”

Yan Changfei breathed out slowly, showing a proper smile on his face, “Yes, it’s my first time on stage, so I’m truly very nervous.”

He returned to his energetic self and did his self-introduction to the fans off-stage.

Wen Mian quietly used his finger to scratch the back of Lin Ye’s hand, turning his head to the side and asking in a small voice, “Are you nervous?”

Lin Ye slowly breathed out, “A little.”

Wen Mian smiled in satisfaction, “I feel more at ease hearing that you’re nervous.”

Lin Ye lifted the corner of his lips, his gaze lightly landing on the sea of lights in front. His gaze was burning, and his eyes seemed to flash with small light fragments. A moment later, he turned away. Lin Ye had been unable to find even one fan amongst the thousand present.

What was the probability of not even having even one fan in a thousand people? He stopped smiling and lazily lowered his gaze to the ground.

No one’s gaze would be focused on him. From that moment on, he suddenly stopped feeling nervous.

At that moment, the lights dimmed and Shen-PD left the stage from the side. His teammates that were next to him also started to move, walking to stand in their respective positions in their opening team formation. Jiang Lian walked towards him and the moment he brushed past Lin Ye, Jiang Lian’s gaze was fixed forward, but he said in a low voice, “If you still want screentime, raise your head.”

Lin Ye was stunned and looked up, but Jiang Lian had already walked out of his sight.

The light once again landed on them and with the sound of the music, they turned around as the light changed. Their arms supported themselves as they knelt on one knee. Jiang Lian, who was in the center jumped out from the white smoke. He sang the first sentence with his perfect voice and the screams of fans suddenly rose to maximum volume again.

From the reactions of the fans off-stage, it could be seen that the whole stage was completed quite smoothly. Although a part of the reason was Jiang Lian’s own fans supporting their whole team. It was just that besides Lin Ye, probably no one noticed, but Jiang Lian made some minor changes in terms of positioning.

Many days ago, when they were practicing in the classroom, the dance teacher had set aside a short interlude for them to make a solo part for everyone. Each member could freely design their own dance movements. When they danced to this portion in their public performance, Jiang Lian should go in front to take over Yan Changfei’s position while Lin Ye would take over Jiang Lian’s original position. But for some reason, Jiang Lian remained there and did not move forward. The movements that Lin Ye had originally prepared for himself became a dance between two people on the spot.

Lin Ye did not really mind.

After the performance ended and they went off-stage, the six of them sat in the waiting hall. Wen Mian got a phone from a staff member and suggested that they take a photo together. Qi Huan hurriedly adjusted his hair and complained, “Why didn’t you take a photo before we went on-stage? My make-up is almost gone.”

Cheng Chi placed an arm around Qi Huan’s neck and smiled, while Yan Changfei poked his head out from the back row. Lin Ye sat by Jiang Lian’s side and cooperated, looking at the camera, while Wen Mian raised his camera and sat at the front, reminding Lin Ye, “Get a bit closer, I’m barely able to see your face.”

Lin Ye hesitated for a moment, but in the end, he simply turned his face in Jiang Lian’s direction, Lin Ye’s two hands were resting on his thighs and he did not reach out to hug Jiang Lian’s shoulder like Cheng Chi did to Qi Huan.

Wen Mian nodded his head in satisfaction, shouting loudly as he did a countdown for three seconds. The trainees in the camera all smiled and Yan Changfei suddenly stood up at the last second.

The button to capture the photo was already pressed and only a small corner of Yan Changfei’s outfit was captured. He walked out from the seating area and before he left, he hurriedly said, “You guys can take a photo first, I need to go to the bathroom.”

Cheng Chi looked surprised and asked Wen Mian, “What’s the matter?”

The latter stopped smiling and hesitated for a moment before he answered, “It’s probably because… of his family.”

The others nodded when they heard that and did not continue asking.

Yan Changfei returned to the hall after Team B’s performance had ended. Team A was once again called back onstage. The two teams of trainees stood in a line and took turns to speak with the microphone, trying to pull votes for their team. When the segment for the trainees to speak ended, Shen-PD announced, “Let the voting begin.”

The one thousand fans held up their voting devices to the camera. The two groups of trainees on stage were silent, time passing by extremely slowly.

The two-minute voting time ended, and the winning team would be announced soon.

The spotlight switched between the two groups of trainees. The fans were shouting the names of their favorite trainees desperately. Shen-PD counted down loudly into his microphone. Some of the trainees closed their eyes and other murmured prayers. The atmosphere at the venue was at its peak.

The spotlight landed on the faces of the six people in Group A, finally stopping its swinging.

Lin Ye raised his head and stood in the light. There were the sounds of the excited and joyful voices of the fans in the audience seats. Even if the cries weren’t for him, he still felt moved.

At that moment, his eyes involuntarily looked past Wen Mian, who was standing next to him and landed directly on Jiang Lian, who was standing in the center.

There were some people who were born to be on stage, but there were some that weren’t. However, they could live for the stage.

Shen-PD congratulated Group A and gave appropriate encouragement to Group B. The two groups of trainees bowed to Shen-PD and the fans, then left the stage. The light on the stage dimmed a little and behind the trainees was a clear projection of the audience seats. The fans on the screen were waving LED posters and light sticks in their hands. Lin Ye looked up casually, a bit of yellow suddenly catching his eyes.

He suddenly fixed his gaze on that bit of yellow.

The young girl who was wearing the yellow coat was raising her phone to show a screen with words that were moving from left to right. In the midst of the colorful LED posters, it seemed insignificant.

(T/N: I think it’s an app? Not sure if y’all know about it, but I’ve seen it in shows like this. Basically, it makes the screen shows words that move from left to right. So like those kinds of long rectangular screens with words that rows from the left to right…)

But he saw it clearly.

The screen showed his name.

Lin Ye held his breath for a second.

Wen Mian placed his two hands on Lin Ye’s shoulders, pushing him forward with a smile, “Why are you in a daze?”

Lin Ye returned to his senses and realized that the camera had already turned to focus on somewhere else.

From the time they got off the bus and entered the venue for their rehearsal, till the time the performance ended, it was only a few short hours, but he managed to gain a fan.

Gaining fans was not as difficult as he expected, and he did not want to stop here. He did not want to stop with regrets and unwillingness. He did not even manage to have much screen time, and no one could remember his name or his face. He did not want to be eliminated in the first round of ranking and leave the island alone with his luggage.

He came quietly and without fanfare, and when he left, it would not leave much of an impression either.

The first few weeks, when Lin Ye had arrived on the island, Lin Ye had once had those sorts of thoughts. But after a few weeks, he was unwilling to accept such a bleak ending.

The group competition had already reached the second song. The trainees who were sitting in the waiting hall and watching it would occasionally exclaim at the screen.

In the middle, Jiang Lian stood up and left his seat to head to the bathroom. The other had just left when Lin Ye quietly got up and followed behind him.

There were two toilets backstage at the venue. The toilet that was near to the waiting room was full of people, with other trainees and staff members coming in and out. When Jiang Lian walked past the door, he did not stop, instead, he walked further in.

Lin Ye followed behind Jiang Lian the whole while, not following too close, but not letting him get too far. He followed Jiang Lian and walked through the crowd and in the end, he finally stepped into another silent corridor.

After Jiang Lian pushed the door and entered, Lin Ye stood outside the bathroom with the door ajar. He spent ten seconds thinking about the deal that Jiang Lian had suggested in the small garden that night.

In the past, when he was a trainee in the company, there had been someone from the senior management that hinted at that with him, and the disgust in his heart was still fresh in his mind from the scene that day.

When he thought about it now, if the person he was doing this exchange with was Jiang Lian, it was not as difficult to accept as he had expected.

Lin Ye waited outside the door until he heard the sound of running water from the basin. Then, he pushed the door open and walked in, switching off the ceiling light in the bathroom before Jiang Lian raised his head to look over.

In the dark, Jiang Lian turned off the tap, straightening up and swinging his hands, getting rid of the water on his hands. He raised his legs and walked towards the door, using the dim moonlight leaking in from the window.

The door was closed and Jiang Lian stopped by the door, glancing at where Lin Ye was standing in the darkness, “Why did you switch off the lights?”

Lin Ye did not speak.

Perhaps he was not interested in Lin Ye’s answer, because Jiang Lian raised his hand to hold the door handle, preparing to pull the door open and leave.

Lin Ye reached out to push the door that Jiang Lian had pulled open slightly, closing it. In his hurry, he had pressed his hand on the back of Jiang Lian’s hand.

He raised his head and met Jiang Lian’s eyes in the dark.

The other did not have too large of a reaction. Jiang Lian did not grab Lin Ye’s hand but did not lift his hand away either.

Sooner or later, Lin Ye would have even closer contact with Jiang Lian. Lin Ye had thought things through and without too much hesitation, he directly went all in, taking a step forward to press Jiang Lian against the wall, sticking close to him and asking frankly, “What you said previously, do you still mean it?”