Die. Respawn. Repeat. - Chapter 47: Healing

I head straight to the healer-crow when I return. She seems surprised to see me — she pokes her head out of the flap to her hut with a squawk, and takes a second to identify who I even am. I wonder if I’ve caught her in the middle of a nap. Her feathers are ruffled, and she wraps the flap to her hut around herself like it’s a towel.

“Trialgoer?” she says. “What you want?”

“I’m here with what you needed,” I say, holding up the root I’m holding. She stares at it, then at me.

“What that?” she asks, clearly confused. It’s a beat before I remember that I didn’t speak to her this loop.

“It’s a Phantom Root,” I clarify. “Medicine for Tarin’s Firmament disruption.”

“Phantom? You sure? Phantom Root rare,” she says. “It look like random garbage.”

“I’m sure,” I say, faintly amused. The root does look like just a small piece of wooden detritus I’d happened to pick up; if not for my ability to sense Firmament, I would never have thought it to be anything significant.

She considers me for a moment, then nods sharply; one wing darts out to grab on to the root and pull it back behind the flap. “Okay. I work on medicine. I go see Tarin after. You wait with him. Okay?”

She doesn’t wait for a response. For all that the entrance to her hut is a flap of cloth, she somehow manages to slam it in my face, and I blink rapidly and step backwards. Ahkelios snickers on my shoulder.

“I think you interrupted her,” he says, his voice teasing. I roll my eyes. I’d been trying very hard not to think about what she might have been doing.

“Whatever gave you that idea,” I say, and Ahkelios gives me what looks like the absolute smuggest grin. I sigh, and move away from the hut.

It doesn’t take me long to find Tarin and Mari’s home again. Mari stands just outside of it, yelling at some poor crow that’s cowering in front of her — it’s one of the village guards, I think. I recognize him from one of the early loops…

…I grimace a little. I recognize him as a mangled corpse, mostly. It’s not a pleasant memory, and I try to wipe it from my brain as I approach.

“Trialgoer!” Mari snaps her head up as soon as she notices me. “You tell crow he being foolish!”

The other crow looks absolutely devastated, the poor thing. “Not foolish,” he protests weakly. “If Naru is around, we need to seek protection from the Great Cities. We can’t fight him alone.”

“We not need Great City protection!” Mari glares at him, and he practically shrivels. “Trialgoer!”

“I found the Phantom Root Tarin needs,” I say, opting not to take a position in this particular argument. On my shoulder, Ahkelios mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ‘wise’. “I gave it to the healer. She says she’ll be over shortly.”

Mari brightens and pushes the guard-crow out of the way; I still don’t know the poor guy’s name, but I’m starting to feel sorry for him. “She come now?”

“She’s… busy.” I try not to elaborate. “But she’ll be over shortly, I think. I gave her the root.”

“Good, good,” Mari mutters to herself, then grabs me by the arm, pulling me with her with an absurd amount of strength. “We go see Tarin. Make sure he not getting worse.”

“Look, Mari, I’ll go to the Great Cities myself,” the guard-crow says; he seems desperate not to give up, and I wonder why. I watch him more closely — I can see the fear in his eyes. He’s genuinely worried about Naru. “Just give me some supplies.”

“Why are you so worried about Naru?” I ask. Mari sighs.

“You not listen to him,” she says. “He foolish. He see Naru fight, he know Naru angry at us. He scared.”

“Because I know what he can do,” the guard-crow argues, but he shifts uncomfortably on his feet. There’s something else. Something he’s not saying? “Please, I’m not asking you to send anyone with me.”

Mari opens her beak, exasperated, but I speak before she can. “There’s something you’re not telling us,” I say. “I don’t think Mari can make a decision if you don’t tell us what’s really bugging you.”

The guard-crow stares at me nervously. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I sigh. “What’s your name?”

“Rotar,” the crow says. He shifts his weight between his feet again, then tries to straighten his back, although it doesn’t do much to hide how nervous he is. Mari’s stopped looking like she’s about to explode — instead, she’s watching this Rotar with interest. Apparently, she hadn’t picked up on his behavior before, but now…

“Rotar,” I repeat. “Have you been in contact with Naru?”

“What? No!” Rotar shuffles backwards. He doesn’t look guilty — he looks genuinely alarmed, like the thought of talking to Naru is horrifying to him. “I— I can’t explain. It’s going to sound stupid. And Mari will kill me.”

“I not kill you,” Mari says, sighing. “Maybe I judge too fast. But you need explain. Journey to Great Cities dangerous. One crow not make it alone. I send you, you die. I send group, we not have guards. You understand? Choice not easy.”

“I…” Rotar fidgets a little bit, wringing his wings together. “I understand, but it’s going to sound ridiculous.”

“Try me,” I say dryly.

“I’m from the Great Cities,” Rotar says. “Mari already knows that part. One thing we have is these little divination gadgets that predict the level of danger we’re in. I’ve been keeping an eye on mine, and the number’s been going up. I don’t know why, but either there’s something wrong with it or it’s Naru, right? Either way, I have to go to the Great Cities for help.”

I can think of several possibilities besides Naru, actually, but I don’t say anything. Mari frowns beside me. “I tell you to throw away that thing,” she says. “It not good for you.”

“It’s the last thing I have from my home…” Rotar looks down. Mari eyes him for a moment, looking distinctly unimpressed, before her shoulders sag.

“Trialgoer?” she asks. “You know what he talking about?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “This is the longest I’ve ever survived a loop. I might find out if I stay alive long enough, but…”

There’s not exactly any guarantee that’s going to happen. Rotar looks between the both of us, looking lost and confused. “Loop?” he asks.

“It’s a long story,” I say.

“You go back first,” Mari says to Rotar; the crow seems relieved that she doesn’t seem angry at him anymore, even if he deflates a little at her dismissal. Her next words make him perk up again, though. “You need help to reach Great Cities, yes? Maybe I send Trialgoer with you. I talk to him first. You wait.”

“Please help me,” Rotar says. He bows deeply to me — which mostly serves to make me uncomfortable — and then runs off towards his hut, somewhere in the eastern side of his village; I stare off in his general direction, then raise an eyebrow at Mari.

“I don’t know how to feel about you volunteering me for that,” I say.

“Bah,” Mari says. “You not want to go, you not go. But I see your face. You think this interesting.”

Well, she’s not wrong. “He has something that can supposedly predict oncoming danger. I’d say that’s pretty interesting.”

“City trick,” Mari grumbles, but she doesn’t dispute my point. She gestures for me to follow her into the hut, and I duck in after her, my eyes going towards Tarin’s sleeping body.

The old crow is still resting in the same position on his bed of hay. His feathers are duller and more lifeless than I remember, and I can feel the force of his Firmament in its battle against the Interface; it’s weaker now than before. I wonder what this means for him, even if the treatment succeeds. Is he going to have to spend the rest of his life fighting the Interface?

“You happen to know any other ways we can help him?” I whisper to Ahkelios, and the mantis shakes his head.

“I didn’t even know all this was possible,” Ahkelios whispers back. He looks down and away. “I didn’t spend a lot of time talking to any of the locals, or checking up on them between loops…”

That surprises me. “You didn’t?”

“I didn’t want to get close to anyone,” Ahkelios says. He sounds regretful. “And everyone is so… different? I had so much to worry about already. I just… never got around to it.”

“Right.” I wonder how many Trialgoers did try to connect with the local populace; I suppose there’s not that much of a reason to. I glance at Mari, who’s already sitting by her husband with a wing gently stroking his feathers, and I take a seat next to her.

“He getting worse,” Mari says softly. “Was sudden. Good thing you came when you did. I worried… I worried you not come back. Next loop, I not know what happen to him.”

I grimace a little. I hadn’t thought of what that might be like for her — waking up to see Tarin getting a little worse every loop, but not being aware that he’s worse; only knowing that he’s suddenly near-death from being perfectly healthy the day before…

“Let’s hope the medicine works,” I say softly.

Right on cue, the healer-crow raps sharply on the outside of the hut. She doesn’t wait for Mari’s response — she pushes her way into the hut immediately, holding a bowl in one wing and a paintbrush in the other. Mari doesn’t seem surprised, and I scoot back to let the healer take her place by Tarin’s side.

“Your root good,” she tells me half-grudgingly, as if she’d been expecting me to be lying about the root. “I make medical paint. I paint on Tarin now, yes? You get ready.”

“What am I getting ready for?” I ask.

“We push out bad Firmament,” the healer-crow says, exasperated. “You get ready to fight.”