Die. Respawn. Repeat. - Chapter 64: Book 2: One More Death

You don’t really get used to death, no matter how many times you do it. I’ve died thirteen times, and all thirteen of them have hurt. The last death hurt… less than usual, because I was fortunate enough to just get blasted apart, rather than stabbed, torn apart, or crushed.

This is a weird thing to think about, I know. It turns out Quicken Mind really is a lot better than Mental Acceleration. So much better it gives me time to stare at the blade headed towards my head and ruminate, instead of engaging in my usual dodge-and-roll.

Why not do something different this time?

Barrier.

I have Hexfold Barrier and Crystallized Barrier as offshoots of that skill, but considering the monster that’s trying to stab me through the brain is a Rank F monster, I’m not too worried about it. The mantis-creature’s arm clangs roughly into the barrier and deflects off of it, slamming into the dirt instead.

This time, the angle is different. This time, it doesn’t get stuck. It rears backwards with a roar, drool and spittle flying out between its mandibles and sizzling on the dirt.

“Ahkelios,” I call, and use Temporal Fragment.

The bond between us resonates and springs to life, and Firmament is drawn out of me into the shape of a tiny, lively little mantis-person. He’s been a good companion to me, for all that part of that is apparently enforced by the Interface. I still have to make good on my promise to find a way to free him.

This seems like a good start.

Ahkelios doesn’t seem to think so, though. Instead of facing the mantis that’s intent on killing me, he turns to me and folds his arms.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “That was really sudden. Aren’t you worried about—”

I leap out of the way as the other mantis — the giant one trying to kill us, not that there are any other mantises around besides these two — stabs towards me.

“I’m trying not to think about it,” I say casually.

I am worried. Mari isn’t going to remember who I am. Tarin… there’s a chance Tarin will, but even then it’s only a chance. I cured him in the last loop, and he remembered, but his Firmament had been stuck in one state because of what was keeping him in a coma to begin with. Now that I’ve cured him…

There’s no good outcome here. If he remembers, he’s destined to remember all of my loops — he’s bound to me, in that sense. And if that’s true, then he’s going to be moving on without his wife.

For his own sake, I almost hope he doesn’t remember me. I wrench my mind away from the thought.

“Maybe we should deal with the giant mantis trying to kill us first?” I suggest, and Ahkelios gives me a scowl. It’s one of his ‘this isn’t over’ scowls.

“I’m trying not to think about that and why it looks like me,” he grumbles. “What do you want me to do, fight it?”

“I’ve seen what you can do,” I confirm. “And it’s… probably related to you somehow, right? Maybe if you kill it…”

“Morbid,” Ahkelios says, but I notice he doesn’t fight me on the matter. He agrees, I think. It’s barely noticeable, but there’s… a resonance? Something that’s reacting in the Firmament Ahkelios has and the Firmament that’s core to the mantis-monster attacking us.

I still don’t know what these monsters are, exactly.

Ahkelios leaps off of my shoulder and takes full control over his Firmament. He turns into a streak of light, blasting off my shoulder and directly towards the blade that’s coming towards me.

I don’t bother to dodge.

The force of his kick simultaneously shatters it and rips it off of the mantis-creature’s arm, the joint detaching with a sickening pop. Then he launches himself like a bullet, spinning right underneath the monster’s chin and up through the top of his head, shattering the top of his carapace and emerging covered in…

I grimace a bit and call up a Barrier just as Ahkelios shakes himself off. I don’t particularly want to get brain splattered onto me this early in the loop. Ahkelios is made of Firmament — nothing can stick to him — but me? I still need to take a shower every now and then, and there are only so many rivers here.

“You’re the one that wanted me to fight it,” Ahkelios says smugly, and I sigh.

“I suppose I am.”

[ You have defeated a Broken Horror (Rank E)! ]

No real reward. It’s too weak now to give me much of anything. I glance at Ahkelios, then to the corpse of the monster. “Anything different?” I ask.

“No?” Ahkelios frowns a bit. “Is something supposed to be—”

Before he can complete his sentence, I sense a fragment of that Firmament still within the mantis. I sense a small reaction from Temporal Fragment, rapidly fading.

So I use Temporal Fragment again.

Temporal Fragment is probably one of my strangest skills. In its base form — the first version of it I received, Temporal Echo — it lets me create a clone of myself from a past loop. That echo isn’t capable of any independent thought, but it will repeat whatever actions I took before. It’s a good way to… replay fights, so to speak. Avoid repeating anything I don’t have to.

The Fragment variant retains that capability, but it seems to let me connect fragments of past loops that aren’t my own.

Case in point: Ahkelios, once a Trialgoer on Hestia, whose older self failed the same trial I’m going through. That older version of him faced many traumas this younger version doesn’t remember, I think, but they’re in there somewhere. I notice it in flashes, whenever his chipper attitude flickers away and leaves behind something painfully sad.

The only way to fail this particular Trial is to give up. Judging by its difficulty rating…

Well, I suspect not many people have ever passed. If anyone. I’m not sure on that part — I don’t know if the Integrators repeat a Trial once someone has beaten it.

Most of this is important to know, because when I use Temporal Fragment this time, the resonance between Ahkelios and that tiny piece of Firmament in the corpse suddenly snaps into place. My little mantis-friend freezes mid-sentence and mid-air, his eyes growing wide.

I feel two fragments of Firmament merging. There’s a brief moment of resistance, as something that isn’t Ahkelios apparently tries to fight against the intrusion, but it breaks through just as quickly; I feel a distinct change in the Firmament Ahkelios is using. It’s a little brighter, a little stronger.

It still uses my own Firmament as a base, but I think that’s just a limitation of Temporal Fragment in general.

More importantly, Ahkelios has changed in size. He’s a little over double his previous height, still small enough to sit on my shoulder but large enough that his head reaches up above my ear when he does so. He’s also a little… bulkier?

I try not to imagine a comically muscular mantis sitting on top of my head.

“Whoa,” Ahkelios says. Even his voice is a little deeper. I’m not sure how I feel about that. “That felt… different.”

“A good kind of different, I hope,” I say. I probably should have tried this earlier, and I feel a little guilty for not doing so. I’d been worried Ahkelios wouldn’t react well to what appears to be a physical manifestation of his trauma, but if anything, he seems very happy about having the opportunity to punch it in the face. Or drill through its head like a bullet, as it were.

“It’s good,” Ahkelios confirms. He flexes his fingers, then his arms, then does a full-body wriggle that I find difficult to characterize as anything except ‘cute’, as much as I suspect Ahkelios would hate that designation. “I feel stronger. More complete? And the Interface isn’t whispering so loudly into my head anymore.”

“Was it doing that before?” I ask, concerned. He hasn’t mentioned anything about it. Ahkelios grimaces and falls silent for a moment.

“The answer is yes, but I wasn’t allowed to talk about it,” Ahkelios finally says. “And even now, talking about it… kinda hurts. But I can do it. Don’t worry; I haven’t been forced to do anything I don’t want to do. I just hate that it’s forced at all.”

There’s a glimmer of that darker side of him again. The side of him that’s a little angrier, that’s been through more than any sapient being ought to be. The fact that even this side of him is trying to reassure me tells me a lot about his character.

I wonder how many lifetimes he lived through the course of his loops. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to give up easily.

I wonder how many others like him I might meet, if I take the time to look. There’s the harpy that was used to raid the crow village early on — if that particular fragment had a source, I haven’t met it, nor do I have any idea where I would find her, and even if I did…

This loop doesn’t have the same distinct, fuzzy feeling that I’ve noticed was present every time I met Ahkelios in the early loops. The presence of past loopers seems to be brought about by Temporal Fragment and… some distortion of Firmament that I don’t entirely understand. It’s not consistent between loops, unfortunately.

“Did you get anything from the Interface when you died?” Ahkelios asks, as if uncomfortable with the silence. It’s probably fair. I accept the attempt to change the subject, and glance back at the notifications I received just after dying. The words are still there, glowing firmly in the light of the Interface.

[ You have died. ]

[ You have unlocked a new feature: Doomsday Tracker. This Interface feature will track all events that may affect the time at which Anomaly 006 occurs. ]

[ You have unlocked the knowledge database of Anomaly 006, kept by other Trialgoers. ]

[ For encountering an Anomaly, you have been awarded 50 Firmament credits. ]

[ Warning: New anomalies detected in loop. ]

The Doomsday Tracker reads just over a hundred and eighty days. Just about six months before… the entire planet blows up? What was that? And that doesn’t seem to match the time that was on my Timeline Tracker when I died. I frown, opening my mouth to protest—

And then I realize, glancing over the notifications again, that for once the Interface isn’t keeping it a secret.

“Access the database for Anomaly 006,” I say out loud. Mostly for Ahkelios’ benefit, really. The Interface seems perfectly capable of deciphering my intent from my thoughts, but then I just look like I’m sitting there and staring intently into the air.

In front of me, words spill out. A lot of them.

[ Anomaly 006

Scale: Planetary

Origin: The Fracture

Cause: Unknown

Danger Rank: SSS

Anomaly 006 is an event that occurs approximately 180 days into the start of the loop, but can occur earlier if the Fracture is disturbed. Note the Fracture is already a major source of anomalies within a loop and should be very carefully interacted with; it is possible for actions taken within the Fracture to end a loop prematurely.

Changelog:

I don’t really know why this is here, it’s not like I’m going to fail this Trial. But I might as well keep a record? At least it’ll help me keep track of everything going on. — V’khator

—

Um. I guess we shouldn’t… we shouldn’t expect to get through this Trial, huh? I thought it was going to be… not hard, anyway. But if other people…

Anyway. I added some notes about how going to the Fracture can trigger this early. I don’t know exactly what causes it, but it’s something deep within the Fracture — deeper than I’ve ever gone.

One time I threw a rock in there and it triggered the Anomaly two days early, so be careful throwing stuff into the Fracture, I guess.

Um… I think I’m supposed to sign off? I don’t know if I want to put my name here. Especially if I fail.

Trialgoer 002, I guess. Probably. I’ll add more if I find anything more.

—

Hi. It’s 002 again.

I don’t know much more, but I’ve figured out that it’s… it’s the whole planet. I tried running away. It didn’t work.

I don’t know what to do?

—

Anomaly log has been formatted and language has been formalized, with the exception of the changelog.

Cause of anomaly appears to be related to the temporal Firmament that runs the loop. Theory unconfirmed. Usage of opposing Firmament can delay death, but without a planet to subsist on, even I cannot survive for long. — GHO-R7.

—

It is possible to temporally displace the exit past the point at which Anomaly 006 occurs. This is a problem. Do not do what I did. — GHO-R7.

—

To be clear, what I did was attempt to access the exit by surviving past the destruction of the planet. The exit is not destroyed. However, it appears that the exit is capable of altering its position in both time and space, and it has rendered itself inaccessible to me. — GHO-R7.

—

Wow, that dude was… unlucky, huh?

I haven’t figured out anything more about 006, but I’ll stick anything I find out here, I guess. I dunno, feels like if I do that I’m expecting to fail.

I tried diving deeper into the Fracture but all I got was . So that’s annoying.

]

There’s a lot more to the logs, too. At some point it looks like the other Trialgoers gave up and started logging everything in the changelog instead of the main document, which means I have so much more data to pore through than I should have to…

I sigh.

The data expungement doesn’t surprise me. Not everything in the changelog is related to the anomaly, and the Integrators probably don’t want me to learn about their other secrets without earning it through the Interface, otherwise we’d all be able to use this one anomaly to share all our secrets. I see a few other attempts by other Trialgoers to do exactly that, too, but it’s all been expunged.

Even a few coded attempts were expunged. The Integrators are thorough. I’m surprised the comment about the exit was able to survive, but maybe they don’t want other people trying that.

I think the most worrying part of all this is the sheer number of Trialgoers there evidently have been. Not all of them contributed to the log, I think — some of them never survived long enough, for one thing — but even then, there are… I’m pretty sure there are hundreds.

How long have the Integrators been trying to get someone to beat this Trial?

“You gonna tell me what you’re looking at?” Ahkelios asks. He’s somehow found his way up onto my head again, and he’s large enough now that he feels like a hat. I sigh.

“A lot of people’s last words, apparently,” I mutter.

So many dead to beat this one Trial.

I won’t be the next.