Die. Respawn. Repeat. - Chapter 67: Book 2: Reunited (and it feels so bad)

“Ethan!” Tarin squawks at me, dusting himself off like he hasn’t just been tossed like a cannonball directly into monsters that could kill him with a glance. I know he’s strong, but I don’t know that he’s strong enough to survive a direct blow from any of these. “You here!”

“Where else would I be?” I ask. I honestly haven’t fully processed the situation yet. Thankfully, the chimeras appear to be just as stunned by Tarin’s appearance as I am, and they’re looking at each other like they don’t quite know what to do. It doesn’t help that Mari is rapidly approaching and looks very intimidating.

I have so many questions.

“I have so many questions,” I add, because it feels like I have to say the words out loud, and also because none of the chimeras are attacking and it gives me time to be as incredulous as I want to be.

“No time!” Tarin says. “Mari! Throw him!”

“Wha— do not throw me!” I protest. Mari’s already charging towards me, although compared to me she’s not exactly fast. I Warpstep away just as she approaches, and she folds her arms, looking vaguely annoyed.

“This Trialgoer?” she asks. “How I throw him if he run?”

I wince.

I’ll admit that I’ve been harboring something of a hope that Mari’s somehow been able to remember. It was always a possibility that Tarin would remember, considering the circumstances surrounding his death and his retention of that first loop when he woke up. Mari, on the other hand…

I don’t know. I guess when I saw her, I let myself think that she’d been able to figure something out. Maybe using a Firmament imbuement inspired by the skill shard I’d given her to study. I didn’t know what she’d been doing while I was traveling with Rotar toward the Great Cities; there was every chance that she’d pulled off a miracle.

But her words paint the painful truth: she doesn’t remember me at all. More likely than not Tarin’s the one that dragged her here, asking for her help, and she went along with it. Because that’s what she does. That’s how much the two of them trust each other.

It was how much she’d chosen to trust me, for as little time as she’d known me.

Something must have shown in my expression, because Ahkelios hops down from my shoulder to look at me with concern. “Ethan—” he begins.

“I’m fine,” I say. My voice is a little rougher than I intend. I shouldn’t have let myself hope that she’d remember. It would have solved so many problems. If she doesn’t remember… This puts Tarin in a difficult position.

“Ethan!” the old crow in question squawks at me. “You let Mari throw you!”

“I— do you want to explain why?” I ask. I have to throw myself out of the way of one of the chimeras, who have evidently gotten tired of waiting for us to finish talking to one another; whatever wariness they had at the introduction of two new combatants bleeds off, and they go back to circling us, Firmament radiating even more powerfully from them in what I assume is an attempt at intimidation.

“Too many! We run!” Tarin seems exasperated that he has to explain this at all. A part of me nearly instantly rebels at this suggestion — I can kill at least one more of them with Ahkelios’s help, and with both Tarin and Mari to help me out I’m sure we can take out the other two. Tarin glares at me as this thought enters my head, apparently able to read what I’m thinking. “No fight! Not just three!”

There’s more. I narrow my eyes. I didn’t see anything when I went up into the sky earlier. The canopy does obscure some of my vision, but I should have been able to sense anything else hiding with my Firmament sense, at least…

While I’m distracted and thinking, Mari picks me up in a single hand, making me yelp in consternation — though this time I don’t fight her. I feel a massive burst of Firmament, and only just manage to coalesce my Verdant Armor around my ribs before I’m tossed handily up through the forest canopy. Straight towards the crow village.

I have to admit, her aim is pretty good.

The problem with this plan, of course, is that it leaves the two of them alone against whatever remains of the crowd of chimeras they have to face. I don’t know what possessed Tarin to think this was a good idea, but I trust that he has a plan that’s a little more complicated than ‘throw Ethan as far away from the fight as possible’.

Probably.

I wrap myself with Accelerate, which is about the best I can do at this point, feeling the speed at which I’m flying through the air counterintuitively increasing. I reach out with my senses, probing into the forest; if there are other chimeras, I should be able to sense them with focused effort, even if they’re hiding from me…

There. It’s astonishingly subtle. The forest lights up in a wash of glittering Firmament, spread just far enough apart that it looks like ambient noise; the only reason I spot it at all when I’m paying closer attention is that their camouflage is repetitive. It’s the only semblance of order in the otherwise chaotic movement of Firmament.

There are at least a half-dozen of them still, hiding in the trees. They weren’t yet getting ready to pounce, or Premonition would have reacted, but… Premonition won’t help me if the first group manages to exhaust me enough.

Tarin’s definitely saved me here. What I want to know is how they’re planning on saving themselves.

I catch a glimpse of them off in the distance. Black lightning courses through Tarin’s wings — he doesn’t try to fight any of the chimeras, although he does dodge their movements effortlessly. Mari seems prepared to fight; even at this distance, I feel the sheer weight of her Firmament. Even she looks like she’s mostly using it defensively, though, blasting chimeras out of her way more than actually trying to kill them.

They’re out of all our leagues, in these numbers.

What astonishes me is when Tarin picks up his wife and starts running, blasting through the foliage at mach speeds — fast enough that he’s actually catching up with me, even with the force of Mari’s throw and Accelerate increasing the speed of my escape. Not for the first time, I wonder how the first raid would have gone if Tarin and Mari hadn’t been so thoroughly suppressed by the Interface.

I am maybe just now realizing that I don’t actually know how powerful they are. The closest I’ve come to seeing the full extent of their strength is when Mari fought Naru, and I’m relatively certain they were both holding back in that fight.

Food for thought, I suppose.

“Uh, Ethan?” Ahkelios stares at me. “I think we’re supposed to land now.”

I blink, glance down, and realize we’re almost over the crow village — the Cliffside Crows, if I’m going to go by what’s denoted in the map. I grimace and shift the direction of Accelerate so that it points me down instead, trusting in my Verdant Armor to take the impact of a fall without much taking much damage. I’ve survived a punch from a Rank B chimera; I should survive something as simple as a fall.

…I reverse the direction of Accelerate before I hit the ground anyway. I’m not really eager to smash into the ground and roll halfway across the village, and I don’t think Mari will be pleased with the amount of damage I’d likely do in the process. Tarin’s another matter entirely; I feel like he’s more likely to call it training.

I still hit the ground hard enough to bounce, and I flail awkwardly in the air for a second before I land again with a thump. I groan. The armor’s definitely protected me from any damage, but it also makes me feel like I’ve been rattled around in a can of Firmament.

Which, to be fair, is more or less exactly what happened.

By the time I come to a stop, Tarin and Mari have managed to catch up. The sight of the two of them is almost comical — Mari’s balanced precariously on her much smaller husband’s back. It’s only with my Firmament sense that I can tell that they’re both using a remarkably skillful interplay of Firmament to keep themselves balanced.

“Trialgoer!” Tarin says cheerfully, and then proceeds to dash forward and pull me into a hug. There’s actually a slight ping from Premonition there — not because he’s planning to hurt me in any way, but because the speed at which he dashes forward is enough to impact my Verdant Armor and send a blaze of crackling, lightning Firmament through it. “Ah! Forgot Firmament. Sorry. Ethan! I remember!”

“I know,” I say. I hug him back, but I don’t sound nearly as excited as Tarin does, and he notices. I glance at Mari, who’s standing a little ways back with her wings folded across her chest and a slight look of uncertainty; she doesn’t know how to react to all this.

“You not worry!” Tarin tells me. “I explain to her already. She know!”

“Trialgoer in time loop,” Mari grunts. “Now husband also in time loop. Yes?”

“Yeah,” I agree. She opens her beak, and I speak up before she can, anticipating what she’s about to ask. “Tarin only got into because of an accident where he died during what the Trial calls a Raid, and he almost died permanently. The Interface tried to make him stay dead. I don’t… I don’t know how to bring you into the loop as well.”

Not without risking a permanent death on her part, anyway. I haven’t triggered another Raid yet, but there’s no guarantee that she’ll be able to fight as long as Tarin did. I don’t even know if the Phantom Root is still there, reset along with the loop. I should probably find out.

Mari closes her eyes and takes a breath. “Okay,” she says simply.

“Why you tell her I die!” Tarin demands, the old crow putting his wings on his hips in a way that resembles a small child throwing a tantrum. “That not cool.”

“I think your wife thinks you’re plenty cool enough, Tarin,” I say dryly.

I’m not sure he’s realized the implications yet. That, or he has, and he’s just forcing himself not to think about it. Mari, on the other hand, is doing a much poorer job of hiding her emotions.

“We should try to figure out what to do next,” I say with a small sigh. I don’t know how to broach this topic with her, and Mari doesn’t seem to want to talk about it any further. “I was headed towards the Great Cities with Rotar…”

Tarin remembers why I headed north with Rotar, but Mari doesn’t — so I explain the situation with his pocket oracle again, and then continue on to explain the ambush by K’hkeri and the Voidsuit they were shoved into, their agreement to help us, and the way the Firmament slipstream had reacted to the Interface and the temporal Firmament intrinsically tied to me. While I speak, I feel my Firmament slowly recovering.

It’s… significantly faster than it’s recovered before. Related to the phase shift, perhaps.

When I’m done talking, there’s a long silence. “That explain why you gone so long,” Tarin says thoughtfully. “I worry something happen. Was going to find you. Went to Great Cities! Mari stayed back to look after village. But you not in Cities. No one see funny pink featherless biped. I sure if they see you they remember, so I thought you not reach Great Cities. I look around, but you hard to find.”

I… don’t know how to respond to that. The idea that Tarin actually came looking for me touches me unexpectedly, and I don’t say anything.

“Mari worried too!” Tarin adds hurriedly, as if he’s concerned that my takeaway is that Mari didn’t care enough to come look for me. “She not remember, but she very worried. Keep telling me to go look for you.”

I have a really hard time responding to this. I have to swallow a small lump that forms in my throat to find the words.

“Thanks,” I say, my voice a little rougher than I want it to be. “I… appreciate that. We should — let’s go talk to Rotar, yeah?”

“Yes!” Tarin nods firmly. “We try again. But better, this time. Right, Mari?”

“We try again,” Mari agrees. She sounds more somber than her husband does, and when she meets my eyes, I see the glimmer of pain in them.

I’m not sure Tarin realizes the implications of him being in the loop at all. I exchange glances with Ahkelios, who looks equally concerned, and I make a small note to myself — I need to try to find a way to bring Mari into the loop.

The sooner, the better.