Dimension System - Chapter 83

Pain.

That’s the first thing I noticed when I woke up. Gut-wrenching, ‘close your eyes and hold on for dear life’ kind of pain. My eyes had automatically scrunched up in a vain attempt to relieve the pressure that rolled through me like waves.

Somehow, my throat felt dryer than a desert while still maintaining a nasty burning sensation. I could feel my dry, cracked lips begging for a nice cool glass of water. Vertigo took hold and I felt like I was stuck inside a washing machine.

Attempting to open my eyes was big mistake. The sun was bright! I instantly closed them again, scrunching them together so tightly that it made my face hurt. My entire body felt tired and sore, as if someone had ran me over with a horse-drawn carriage.

‘What the hell happened last night?’

Trying to think back only made my head hurt for now. Survival was the first priority, possibly to be followed up with a vow of sobriety being a very close second. Luckily it was quiet, between the pounding headaches I could hear people snoring nearby.

Without the use of my eyes I forced to utilize my other senses. I could feel a cool breeze running over me. That means I’m probably in an outdoor location. This line of thought was reinforced further by the damp, cool grass that I could feel in my hands.

Wait a minute. Wasn’t the system supposed to prevent me from getting poisoned? What gives?

[Host willingly ingested said toxins.]

Uggghhh! Not so loud please…

Please system have mercy on me!

[Initiating body scan…]

[Scanning…]

[Host is suffering from the following ailments: alcohol poisoning, severe dehydration, elevated blood acidity.]

[Initiate treatment?]

Yes!

[Beginning rehydration via spatial water solution.]

A cool, relaxing sensation began to spread throughout my body. It began from the lips and throat, traveling further down into my body, moving into my stomach and then passing through my intestines. My headaches began to abate which allowed my to take a deep breath.

This was a strange and foreign sensation, but it was much more preferable to the crippling headaches and pain. Slowly, I tried opening my eyes again. It was still blindingly bright, but I could see that I was in a clearing outside the Rangers camp.

Taking a moment to rest and recover my wits, I observed the scene around me. The first thing I noticed was that I wasn’t the only one who had a great time last night. People were littered all over the clearing, in various states of dress and undress. Some of the unlucky ones were even passed out in or around their own vomit.

After another deep breath, I tried to stand up slightly, before giving that up. I was in no condition. Time to just sit back and let the system work it’s magic, for now. About five minutes later the system was done with rehydration.

At this point I could stand up, and it wasn’t a moment too soon. The system had started the next step of the process. I could feel a tingling sensation in my guts.

[Initiating kidney flush.]

The call of nature was accelerated by this demon system. Hobbling over a few feet became a herculean task, as I walked a fine line between vertigo and my pulsating bladder. Thankfully, I made it behind a nearby tree, with not a moment to spare.

Relief always felt great but this was on another level. It felt like I was urinating away all of the toxins that were causing my hangover. I won’t go into details about the color and smell, suffice to say that I vomited up whatever else was still in my stomach.

Conjuring up a small bubble of spatial water, I cleaned my mouth out and washed my face off. Being re-hydrated and cleansed brought back a lot of my strength. The symptoms were muted and distant, only a mere fraction of what they had started out as.

Now I had to figure out what happened and try to make sense of it all. Attempting to consult the system logs, I reviewed the video file but concluded that it wouldn’t be of much help. Having been recorded my observation, everything was way too blurry and disjointed to make out.

Making sure to confirm no one was drowning in their own vomit, I started walking back to the Rangers headquarters. It must have been some party, as even the guards were asleep at their post. To their credit, they had fallen asleep standing up, while holding onto their spears.

Proceeding further into headquarters revealed more passed out revelers. Some of them had even managed to pass out on rooftops! Taking caution to sidestep the people and puke, I finally started seeing some living people.

They were still drinking and partying!

‘Zanir!’

Cheers and cups were raised, once they noticed me. Making my way over to them, I asked what happened last night, which sent everyone into a roaring laugh. I listened the them recount the evening through very slurred speech.

Apparently one thing led to another and the entire camp had gotten roaring drunk last night. Unsure of the accuracy of their wild stories, I thanked them and proceeded onward to the banquet hall, where they had informed me that my friends were located.

Nodding and waving to the crowds who were on the way, I finally reached my destination. Inside the banquet hall were many familiar faces sitting together and chatting. Reed, Xander, Dante, my parents, Bruce, Tina, along with a few high ranking Rangers, and even a few people I didn’t recognize.

Several of them called me over.

“There’s my boy. Didn’t I tell you that he was a great fighter?”

“Thunderfist finally rises from the dead!”

“Great party kid, I haven’t been that drunk in a long time!”

I started making my way over to my friends and family, before stopping in my tracks, as a giant tiger rose up and rushed at me. This thing was massive! Covered in a beautiful coat that gradually went from red to orange, it looked like a living sunrise.

Thinking quickly, I jumped up onto the nearby table, hoping to avoid this ravenous beast. Unfortunately for me, it moved with a speed that belied the obvious power it possessed. Looking over to my companions, I noticed that they seemed unconcerned, as I braced for the beast’s viscous attack.

Tall enough to reach me at table height, it moved in for the kill, as it… licked me? Much to my shock and surprise the tiger was very friendly, rolling over onto it’s side and purring, seeming to want some attention and belly rubs.

Stepping off the table, I pet the tiger and gave it a good scratch around the head and ears. I Looked over to my companions and asked for clarification.

“Who’s tiger is this?”

“Wait, you mean that you really don’t remember?”

I must have told the joke of the century, as the reaction was riotous laughter from the entire crowd. A few people even coughed out what they were drinking and needed a pat on the back to calm down. It took a moment for everyone to settle and they began telling me what had actually happened last night.