Dominant Woman Looking for Love - Chapter 10：Shining like the Stars

Rummaging through my bag, I search for the keys. I sighed when I remembered Jett talking about the past earlier. As I enter my apartment, I can already tell my evening is going to be filled with the thoughts of the time from when I started dating him… leading to ‘our’ end.

I let out something akin to a self-deprecating laugh. “Hah!…”

“He asked… Do… I… IF I… ‘REMEMBER’…?”

After saying that out loud, my mouth could no longer keep up with the words my mind seems hell-bent in spewing out. So fast and so aggressively, that it’s just like an avalanche – an intense rush of verbal vomit.

Indeed, yelling all my frustrations out is much quicker and easier when it’s all done in my head!

…

YES.

OF COURSE…!!!

Of course, I still remember those times! I remember them quite fondly even.

Does he even realize how many ‘what ifs’ consumed my brain back then when we were apart?! Well, maybe not. He wouldn’t have a clue, because I never told him.

When we just landed at Laratié, and we were all still trying to get all settled, living in a new country and all, I cried almost every night for a few weeks. Not only because I was apart from him, but it was rough to leave everything behind.

My home!

My other childhood friends…!

My school…!

The neighborhood I walked through every day to and from school…!

The corner store where I bought all my snacks with Jett…!

But now…!

NOW…

Everything was unfamiliar!

ALL of us mostly had to start all over again!

When I started going back to school, I realized again that I didn’t know the people I sat next to. None of the friends I made at school were there either.

It was hard for me to keep in contact with anyone from Uiso even when we had the internet. It hurt so much being reminded every time I talked to any of them that I was no longer there.

They weren’t making fun of me or whatever. They were so considerate, even! But whenever they told me about all the exams, trips, school events they attended, etc. The things they said only served as a reminder that I’d never been able to experience it with anyone who lives at Uiso ever again.

After the tears ran out, I decided that it was time to stop and just faced reality. I had to move on.

At first, I had considered Jett as a special case, and I wanted to keep at least our relationship going even if it was no longer romantic. As the days went on, however, my motivation was slowly getting chipped away. This was all because of the pain I had to endure. It was the price for holding onto the past.

Eventually, the days we either received or sent e-mails to each other started to grow more and more infrequent.

Weeks turned to months; months turned to years.

They all went by until we no longer were in each other’s lives in any shape or form. I know that we bore no animosity or hatred towards each other for letting it happen. It was just… the inevitable. We allowed time and distance to wear down all that was left between us until the only things that remained were just memories of days gone by.

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{Flashback}

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It was my 16th birthday just a few months ago. It was one of the happiest days of my life. A week after that, we received an e-mail from an immigration lawyer that the visa application my parents sent a long time ago to become an immigrant-investor has been approved.

So it finally happened, and we suddenly have the chance to become citizens of Laratié, a 1st world country! Let’s say the person would have to be quite the weirdo especially if they waited this long and invested so much money – only to change their mind or back out.

We had to go whether we wanted to or not, or we’d have missed out on so many opportunities like idiots, given if there was no valid reason.

Fast-forward a few months later; we’re now at the airport. We already got most of our stuff sent to some people my parents know and trust over there at Laratié.

Jett, a super, super cute 16-year old, is here with his family to see us off. We’re neighbors, and their house was right next to ours. He is kind, friendly, sweet, and very easy to get along with. It was inevitable for us to be quite close. I’m lucky to be such good friends with the ‘boy-next-door’.

He’s even my first boyfriend…! Or maybe I should say ‘was’… Since we… decided it might be best to break up… and that, we did. I’m giving it my all not to cry, but he seems to be in worse shape than me.

“Hey… so… this is it, right?” A young-looking Jett’s face looks all scrunched up like he ate something sour. I’d have laughed at him if my chest wasn’t feeling like it was going to collapse. It honestly hurts to breathe. Keeping my emotions in like this feels awful.

“… Ry… Rysia… I’ll… mi-miss you.” His throat’s all choked up, which makes it hard to talk, so he ends up stuttering. I don’t want to make things worse, so I hold my breath and give him a big hug.

Planting my face in the crook of his neck, I manage to squeeze out a reply while I’m blushing like mad. “I’ll miss you too, Jett…” Giving Jett a pained smile, I surprise him with a quick peck on the lips – immediately stepping backward after doing so.

I hear someone cry out an ‘EW!’ which doesn’t even faze me at the very least since I already knew who it was. My younger brother, Ethran, looks disgusted, and my younger sister, Ilana’s the opposite and seems completely thrilled. She’s squealing out the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song quite excitedly. Honestly, I don’t even care anymore; I feel like I’m going to explode from all the blood rushing to my face.

My parents don’t seem to be sure if they should be letting me have it later on, or if they feel sorry for me.

I know they’re softies, though, so they’ll let me have this at least. It’s not like we can do anything more than this anyway with so many people around.

‘Flight B457. Uiso to Laratié. All passengers must be checked in at… this… then when you’re ready, you can now head over to Gate 82…’

I guess this is us.

Turning my head, I peek at Jett, wanting to tell him that I need to get going. His hand grabs onto mine, and he squeezes it hard. Tears are now falling without restraint from his mesmerizing hazel eyes. A small stream now flows down the middle and sides of his face. It’s giving me such a strong urge to caress and comfort him.

I’ve never seen him cry this much before. Aside from the sadness of our separation, it’s doing some strange things to my heart that I can’t seem to understand.

Still, is it strange that I sometimes think he looks like a work of art? Hmm… probably. I’m pretty much a lost cause anyway when it comes to Jett.

I sigh deeply while I give another hug and a kiss on the cheek this time.

“… Goodbye Jett. Thank you for letting me be your girlfriend. I love you. I was… I am… thrilled I was able to be with you even if it wasn’t for too long.” Not wanting to leave him a hideous looking Therysia as his last memory, I do my best to hold myself back from crying.

From his point of view, however, I have been showing him eyes that seem to be glowing charmingly from the held-back tears. Tears that are lining the lower part of my eyelids are now shining like the stars. It reflects some of the light that’s coming from the gentle rays of the sun streaming through the clouds.

Without even realizing anything, I successfully leave him the most beautiful and unforgettably pure memory of his first girlfriend.

Finally, we part.

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{Flashback end}

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