Dominant Woman Looking for Love - Chapter 16：... YOU IDIOT!

(Note: There is a short R-18 scene in this chapter. It’s not ‘vanilla’, but it’s nothing that hardcore technically. Please take note and skip it if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s essential to the storyline, however.)

– – –

I purse my lips, and not long after, my crying stops.

Even if Honey’s being annoying about all this, she still doesn’t deserve to be screamed at, so I put a swift end to that outburst.

I was keeping everything in. Without anyone to talk to, it made me feel so stressed.

It might be a good idea to open up to her. She’s someone I can trust, after all.

“Honey, I’m sorry. It’s probably still business hours, but I think I need your help right now. I want to talk to you about this, if possible. I could use a friend’s advice right now.” I tell her, weakly.

She comes next to me, uses her handkerchief to wipe away the tears. “You are one silly woman.”

“Stop worrying about that. You’re human, not a robot.”

“It’d be unprofessional if you had done this all the time, but you seldom do. So stop this crap, alright?”

“Besides…” She takes her phone and shows me the time. “See? You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Talk to me,” Honey says without any urgency in her tone.

She takes one of my hands and gently guides me towards the couch.

Eurgh. My nose is all runny now.

There’s a tissue box perched on a side table next to the sofa. Taking some tissues out, I make sure I take care of my nose first before sitting next to Honey.

Feeling some arms around me, the concerned woman who now very much resembles a friend I’ve known for years says softly, “We can talk about anything. What is bothering you, Therysia?”

I’m not sure where to start actually, now that I think about it.

My eyes dart from side to side at first before finally deciding on what to say.

“… I think Jett wants to get back together, but… I can’t.”

With a brief look of surprise, she responds. “Oh? Why not?”

Snuggling deeper into her arms, I close my eyes as if I was in pain and sigh. “It’s because I’m not confident he’ll still like me once he gets to… really know me when we get more intimate.”

“I’m not just talking about sex… I’m also talking about everyday life. Or you know, if we start dating and…” I pause.

“… Though, to be honest, it’s not like I know what it’s like to have sex with him since we weren’t able to do it bef-”

Honey cuts me off. “WAIT… WHAT?! You guys have never had sex before?!?!?!” Out of shock, she almost flings me out of her arms.

She grabs hold of my shoulders to get a closer look at my face and exclaims, “… YOU IDIOT! Then how the heck would you know then if he’ll reject you or what?! You don’t even know his preferences either! For all we know, you could be the one rejecting him INSTEAD!”

Huh. I never thought of it that way, I guess, but still… “Uh… I guess…? But most guys are not into kinkier stuff like…”

Honey sneers and puts on a matter-of-fact expression. “Oh geez, even I know a thing or two about BDSM…”

In my defense, I quickly correct my friend. “NO! I’m not into BDSM!”

I continue to explain. “I like some aspects of it, but I’m not into sadomasochism. It’s tough to describe this. I feel like I am neither into BDSM nor classified as just ‘Vanilla’. That’s the most complicated part about this.”

“You know how being in the middle is sometimes worse than being on one end or the other? It’s somewhat easier if things are more clearly defined.”

The position I’m in is starting to feel a little uncomfortable, so I sit up and lean my back against the couch. Honey twists her body and rests an arm over the sofa and continues to listen to me talk.

“Things are less confusing that way. Just like how the world seems to dislike the ‘grey’ areas.”

“I’m sure you know of the saying ‘Not everything is black or white.’ It’s precisely the type of thing a lot of people can’t get behind.” I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

“It’s not that I’m claiming that no one will understand me. There aren’t many people who would TRULY get me, of course. Because of that, it will make it harder for me to find that ‘someone’.”

“… How I am as a person is one of the primary reasons why I got divorced. When my more… ‘unique characteristics’ started to surface, it’s like everything else that’s hidden within me began to come out of the woodwork. Things I never even knew about myself.”

Smiling wryly, I continue to tell her my story. “I’m too dominant at home or at work. I’m not cute or feminine ‘enough’. I’m not ‘romantic’. I act too much like a ‘guy’. Whatever that means.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

All of a sudden though, I bite my lip and remember a part of a memory I wish I could forget.

It’s not what I meant by acting ‘like a guy’, but it just reminded me of it anyway.

– – –

{Flashback}

– – –

Inside our room, some rough breathing and moaning could be heard.

We were lost in our world, right at the peak of ecstasy in each other’s arms.

Adrenaline was rushing through my veins; my heart was pumping into a frenzy.

Although my brain was muddled in fog, a single thought came to mind.

Yes… that’s right. That strap-on dildo that we own.

He’s been using it to double penetrate me sometimes when we have sex.

Right now, though, all I wanted to do was to dominate him. I had the strangest desire to use that fake member on Kieran instead.

It was a feeling that’s entirely foreign to me. My cheeks flushed from the thought of it, and I got even more turned on.

I suddenly had the urge to grab Kieran’s ass. Use a strap-on dildo, and drive it right into his back hole (after being prepped, of course).

– – –

{Flashback end}

Covering my face with my hands, I suddenly recall that scene like it was yesterday.

Without thinking it through, I whispered what I wanted in his ear.

What came next, however…

That look of utter confusion, disgust, and horror on his face…

It was, unfortunately, more than I could take.

The expression Kieran had was impossible to misunderstand; it was nothing but pure rejection.