Dominant Woman Looking for Love - Chapter 20：There's no turning back.

…

After being silent for quite some time, I finally come up with something.

Alright.

“Jett, you can ask me three questions. It doesn’t matter how personal it is; I will answer them truthfully.”

I order another drink. This time I have decided to go with some Japanese whiskey, neat.

“What…? Really??? Are you sure? You better not take it back!” He asks, with the most bewildered expression.

“Yup.” I swirl the glass around, intently looking at the liquid as it starts to resemble a tiny whirlpool.

“I see. I better not waste this chance then.” Jett replies with a seriousness in his tone.

While waiting for him to think of his questions, I grew increasingly nervous, and before I knew it, I’ve already drunk four glasses of the same, and I’m already ordering my fifth.

Looking concerned, Jett voices out, “Uhh… shouldn’t you slow down on those?”

“… Okay. Well, for my first question…” He inhales and continues, “… You… still have feelings for me, right? And if you do, how much do you… still, you know…” Jett moves around anxiously in his seat.

…

Of course.

Of course, he’d ask me this.

I grip the sides of the whiskey tumbler tightly. I was already fully expecting that this was most likely going to be his first question.

Throwing my head back, I push the rim of the glass to my lips to down its contents.

…

“Yes… I still do have feelings for you… a lot of them. It didn’t matter who I was with; I’ve never liked them more than I’ve liked you.”

There. I said it.

This is it.

Whatever happens from now on… there’s no turning back.

Feeling some ridiculous amount of fear and anxiety in the pits of my stomach, I order another drink to try and drown it out.

I grit my teeth and brace for the next obvious question.

The answer will probably have a lot of follow-up questions, but I’ll treat it as ‘one’ since he does still need a bit of an explanation… I’m fair and stupid like that sometimes.

I look down, awaiting the next dreaded question.

Jett looks so confused, though it’s not like he didn’t expect it. My reactions have made it obvious already, but maybe he’s shocked about how strong my feelings were and yet…

“Then… why do you keep rejecting me?! I don’t get it. You even looked afraid at times… I was starting to wonder if I imagined things!”

…

“Because I don’t have the confidence to start anything with you.”

…

“Wait… what?! I mean, it’s not like I’ve been hiding it, but I’ve been trying hard to get you back. I even got more and more aggressive about it!” It’s showing on his face that his mind is in absolute chaos at the moment.

After downing yet another drink, I brace myself to say, “It’s because I think you’d reject me…”

Jett’s eyes widen, and he tries hard not to shout, but… “…WHAT?! Are you crazy??? I don’t understand how your mind works! I didn’t think you were THIS insecure!…”

He calms down and rationalizes out loud. “If this was normal insecurity, then I think your reaction would have been different, unless…”

Ugh.

Can I do this…?

Not even drinking this much is doing anything. With the rate I’m going, I might end up getting alcohol poisoning before I even get stupid drunk.

I’m in way over my head.

I’m rushing things too much.

I guess I didn’t want to chicken out ‘cos the longer I waited…

Sorry…

I really… tried…

I’m… sorry…

My hands shoot up and cover my face. All this drinking has made me way too emotional.

I start crying before long, tears are streaming down my face, and it’s dripping out of the gaps between the base of my palms.

In a panic, Jett hugs my head to his chest. “Okay. Okay… It’s enough for now. Don’t cry…”

He takes his phone out and calls someone.

After a few minutes of rubbing my back, I calm down some.

Jett whispers in my ear. “Hey… I’ll carry you, alright? Don’t panic.”

Before I could say anything, he puts his arms around my back and bends down to slide the other around the back of my knees and lifts me.

I’m not liking the sensation of being lifted this way, and I ended up clinging to his chest and burying my face in his neck with my eyes closed.

I hear him softly chuckle. “Oh… who knew I’d get such a cute reaction.”

This position is making all the alcohol rush straight to my head, hitting me three times as hard. Annoyed by his cheeriness over my predicament, I pout and say nothing.

As Jett starts to walk away and head for the exit, he doesn’t notice 2 figures in the distance watching us. One of them has their arms crossed while the other seems to be staring blankly.

The small Smart limousine Jett called for is waiting for us outside.

* * * * *

[In the car]

…

I inhale slowly and deeply.

Whenever I drink so much alcohol, I always end up feeling good…

So good that I get REALLY, REALLLYYY horny…

… Shit!

I forgot that Jett’s with me in the car!

Squirming uncomfortably in my seat, I start to rub my neck slowly out of habit. Unfortunately, doing so made me start moaning softly because it felt TOO good.

The car was pretty noisy, so I was hoping it wasn’t loud enough but of course someone just had to have great hearing.

“Hey. What’s with this? Be more considerate, will you? You’re cruel.” Jett says with an expression that results in a pained smile.

“Cruel?” My eyes flutter, and I flatten my hand against the edge of his tie. I slowly move it upwards and stop before the tips of my fingers touch the collar.

“Yes… I suppose that’s what most guys I’ve dated thought of me.” I laugh derisively at myself. “I make men feel emasculated, too. Like at work, for example.”

“Well… I mean, you ARE very bossy…” I give him a sharp glare, yet he continues, “but I don’t take it personally since you don’t get all unreasonable or cross a line. It’s how some people work.”

“I know how you were working with me lately was not how you usually interact with others.”

“Anyway, now that I have some explanation, then everything adds up.” He finishes with a slight smirk, quite satisfied with himself.

“… Rysia, I’m fully in for the long haul. I just wanted to let you know that.” Jett lifts my chin and stares intensely into my eyes.

“Hmph. Don’t say that shit. It’d hurt too much if you end up running away from me, you know…” I say sadly.

“I won’t.” He responds decisively without pausing.

“You may not run away immediately, but it doesn’t mean it won’t build up until you can’t take it anymore and…” I pause. I’m already at my limit. I’m somewhat drifting in and out, and I’m no longer fully in control of my actions.

Jett places his hand on my cheek, looking concerned. “Rysia… “