Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 1

August in the south was always a period of damp and sticky heat.

The clouds in the sky ripped apart a gash, and a torrential rain pounded down. The damp and gloomy rain gushed between heaven and earth, and the corridor was filled with a dull darkness.

The number of girls passing by increased.

“Ooh, I’ve never seen that boy before, is he a new transfer?”

“Probably, this morning I saw Liu Deqing go to the school entrance to pick him up.”

“I also saw that. There was even a Maybach from capital A.”

“Fuck, what would a rich kid come to our school for?”

“His grades were probably too poor for the other key high schools. But who cares, as long as he’s good looking.”

The object of their whispered discussion was just standing in the corridor in front of the educational administration office. The ray of light from the gray and gloomy sky followed along the eaves of the roof and landed perfectly on his face.

Good looking indeed.

Thin and tall, beautiful eyebrows and eyes, good looking to the point where if he was tossed into a talent competition but was a useless waste, he’d still be able to debut.

But who knew if it was because of the long bangs covering his eyes, or his exceedingly pale complexion, his entire person seemed to express a cold and dispirited aura that strangers couldn’t get close to, not too charming.

“Xiao1 Yan.”

Someone called him.

The boy leisurely looked back.

The person who called him was a young and graceful woman who just exited the educational administration office. Her voice was warm and unhurried: “I already said everything to Director Liu here, if you have any issues come find him, he will look after you. It’s just that there’s a traffic jam because of the rain. If auntie doesn’t leave soon then I won’t be able to catch my flight, and I still have to take Lele to enroll tomorrow morning……”

“No worries, I can go to the dorms myself.”

Song Yan dully interrupted her guilt ridden apology.

Actually, Tan Qing was his stepmother. She left her biological son Song Lele alone at home to travel a thousand miles to Nan Wu city to help him, the stepson, manage his transfer. This was already considered an act of extreme benevolence.

After all, it was already better than his actual father who from beginning to end only called to yell at him and then never appeared again.

“It’s also not that your father doesn’t care about you, just……”

Tan Qing probably also thought this kind of comfort was hypocritical, and stopped speaking halfway. Instead she fished out a black card and handed it to Song Yan, “Your father’s secondary card. He said that now you’re living alone outside but you shouldn’t wrong yourself over material matters.”

She made this up on the spot.

When Song Yan was at home before, he had two aunties to wash his clothes and cook for him, he was also usually driven to and from school. Although he didn’t squander money, he still lived a life of luxury.

Now he was sent away to a no-name public boarding school to live and Tan Qing felt that the eldest young master could not bear this hardship. She said a few last words, “Xiao Yan, if you just apologize to your father and recognize that you were wrong, this matter would be considered over. There’s no need to come to this kind of place to suffer.”

Song Yan casually stuffed the card into his pocket, and remained silent.

In the end, it wasn’t good for Tan Qing to say too much. She sighed, and after symbolically urging him a few times, hurriedly entered the car under the driver’s prompting.

The expensive tail lights from the Maybach quickly disappeared under the downpour in Nan Wu city.

Song Yan lowered his head and in GaoDe2 maps inputted “Nan Wu No.3 Middle High West District Dorm Building 1.”

Usually, one wouldn’t need directions to get to the dorms from the entrance of the school, but Nan Wu’s No.3 Middle High was an exception.

The school grew famous for being poor and dilapidated since the beginning of history, but was able to withstand the changes of the seasons and remain standing after a full sixty years. Furthermore, because of the growing population, there was no choice but to extend the building.

But because the school was located in the old city area, the surrounding area was filled with residential buildings, and the Office of Education did not have the money to demolish the buildings. So after extending the school building, they could only demolish an unregulated building that was a few hundred meters away from the school campus, and barely had enough to build the dormitories.

Fortunately it wasn’t that far.

Song Yan glanced at the map showing [Distance of 800 meters, estimated time is ten minutes] and then put away his phone.

With one hand supporting an umbrella, the other pulling a suitcase, while listening to the verbal directions through earphones, he slowly walked out of the school entrance.

Both sides of the old street in front of the school entrance were jam-packed with old style residential buildings.

The balconies were filled with long poles, filled with clothes that were forgotten to be put away. The food stalls downstairs lined up the tables and chairs in a row, and men with their bare arms sat in a circle around the curb playing cards, without attending to the little snot-nosed children running around in all directions.

To say it nicely, it was filled with a dense fog of smoke.

To say it frankly, the entire area lacked urban management.

Song Minghai’s decision to transfer his biological son from Beijing’s most expensive private international school to a public school with an average environment, and whose enrollment rate was less than 50%, made his intent of exile very clear.

Song Yan himself thought it was not bad.

Anyways, going to school was the same everywhere. The separation of father and son might even be able to improve the life expectancy of the Chinese people with this individual contribution.

But this could not make him view the city surrounding him in a friendly lens.

After countless times of him turning left, turning right, going uphill, going downhill, followed by another left turn while dangerously evading a speeding bicycle that splashed everywhere with water, the beautiful little face was already cold enough to freeze water.

At that time, an incoming call interrupted the voice navigation, and Song Yan raised his hand and impatiently tapped on his Airpods twice.

Immediately, Shen Jiayan’s screech, akin to a pig being slaughtered, could be heard through the earbuds: “Lao3 Song!!! You really fucking transferred?”

Song Yan considered directly hanging up, the guy on the other end of the line already began to wail: “My Yan er4, what am I supposed to do now that you’re gone? Who am I supposed to cheat off of on tests? If I don’t pass my tests my mom will kill me, wu wu wu……”

His cries were heartrending.

Song Yan was heartless: “Then I have to congratulate auntie in advance for having one less unfilial son.”

Shen Jiayan blew his nose: “You’re an asshole.”

Song Yan was very polite: “Thank you.”

After the brief quarrel, the other returned to a serious tone: “But can you really live going to such a far place.”

Song Yan replied succinctly: “My intelligence is average.”

“No, I didn’t mean it that way.” Shen Jiayan hurried to explain, “I meant that last semester you didn’t go to classes for the last two months, what if you can’t keep up with the pace? What if you feel troubled and your illness relapses? Also with your temper as a big young master, you don’t know how to wash your clothes, you’re extremely picky with food and clothing, your temper is both bad and hard, as if you need a good spanking. If I’m not there to take responsibility for you, what are you going to do if you get beat up by someone out there?”

Song Yan: “……”

Shen Jiayan: “……”

After a short period of silence, Shen Jiayan realized he may have said his true feelings out loud: “Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself.”

Song Yan was too lazy to care about him: “It’s fine, if there’s nothing else, I’m going to hang up. I’m outside now and it’s not convenient.”

“What are you walking around for?”

“Walking to the dorms.”

“Oh, then you be careful. I was looking at No.3 Middle High’s Tieba5 and it said the dorm buildings are ridiculously hard to find. Also you know Nan Wu is that kind of place, you can’t install their troublesome traffic layout on 2D maps. It’s super easy to get lost.”

Song Yan felt that if you got lost on an 800 meter, 10 minute path, with even an accompanying voice navigation for directions, then you were no different from an idiot. He turned a corner and said: “Don’t worry, I’m not……”

The “you” that was to follow “I’m not” didn’t even come out when he unfortunately found that the following road didn’t look like a road, but looked like a dead end where trash was kept.

Song Yan had a bad premonition.

He stopped walking, took out his cell phone, and lit up his phone screen. Sure enough, the large and clear words were displayed on the screen — [Distance of 1.4 kilometers, estimated time is 15 minutes]

Question: If the estimated time for a path is ten minutes, and Xiao Song already walked for ten minutes, then how much time is left?

Answer: 15 minutes.

The actual Xiao Song: “……”

Fucking unreasonable.

Shen Jiayan on the other end of the line was still chattering away: “Not what? Why’d you stop halfway? Hello? Hello. Hello! You there? Did you die? Did someth……”

“Nothing. I’m here. Hanging up now. Du —”

“……What…… fuck! Song Yan, you fucking hung up on me again! If you act like this outside you’re gonna get beat up!”

Song Yan didn’t hear the latter half of Shen Jiayan’s shouting.

After hanging up, he confirmed that he really did walk according to the directions but the more he walked the farther he was from his destination. He stopped the voice navigation and prepared to walk to the entrance of the alley to call a cab.

He just took two steps when his path was blocked.

A youth holding a black umbrella had his back to the entrance of the alleyway.

He was tall in height, one look and it could be seen that he was taller than 1.85 meters. The blue and white colored pants of the school uniform were short on his body, exposing a section of a thin, pale ankle, which made his leg seem extremely long.

There were four or five gangsters with colorfully dyed hair standing in front of the long legged brother. The visual effect was almost like that of a row of feather duster type beasts, or like a cult with a sacrificial lamb. Each of their faces were abominable, as if they had suffered bitterly and nursed a deep hatred.

Song Yan was not interested in this kind of harmful conflict between teenagers.

But unfortunately they were blocking the only exit and Song Yan also loathed communicating with idiots.

Hence while deciding between the options of “speaking nonsense with the feather duster mythical beast” or “waiting until one side of the fight dies,” Song Yan did not hesitate to pick the latter.

While holding up his umbrella, he stood in the same spot, preparing to watch a show.

Chicken Feather 1 was the first to engage: “Yo, what a coincidence to be able to meet Mr. Xia.”

Chicken Feather 2 promptly followed up: “Now that you mention it, isn’t it time for your grandma to return the money she owes our boss?”

Chicken Feather 3 rotated his wrist twice: “Or else that body of hers may not be able to bear our torment.”

Chicken Feather 4 then pulled up an incomparably fierce horse stance6: “Ha!”

Song Yan: “……”

Nowadays gangsters don’t need background checks on their employment qualifications?

No wonder the boy with his back facing him didn’t bother with the usual flow of matters. He just carelessly tossed out a sentence: “Ok, don’t dawdle. Let’s fight?”

His backpack was casually hung on his right shoulder, and he offhandedly pulled up his sleeves to his elbows. Although he didn’t slouch, he emanated a roguish and indolent vibe of “Laozi7 looks down on you.”

Even his voice carrying that little bit of genuine exhaustion from not having woken up yet made his entire person appear as if he needed a good beatdown.

The feather dusters simply couldn’t tolerate it anymore: “Wanna fight, then let’s fight! Who’s scared of who!”

They tossed away their umbrellas, and began to swarm forward.

Long-legged brother suddenly raised his hand: “Wait.”

Feather dusters: “?”

Long-legged brother: “Let me bring out a weapon.”

As he spoke, he fished out a big, long wooden stick approximately forty centimeters in length. He randomly knocked it against the wall: “Ok, come on.”

Seems quite threatening.

The red headed feather duster leader stopped at once, restraining his fear: “What is this?”

“My grandma’s rolling pin.”

“……” Fuck off.

Song Yan felt that this long legged brother seemed to be born with a nature that required a good beating.

But it can’t be helped, this long-legged brother’s four slender limbs were quite nimble, his lazy manner also appeared relaxed and cool. His fighting wasn’t flashy or gaudy, and his movements were exceptionally clean and neat.

With his left hand holding an umbrella, the stick in his right hand accurately hit others’ vital points. Each kick of his long legs was always followed by a feather duster’s grunt and subsequent fall.

There was no suspense in the fight at all.

To quickly end this steam-rolling battle, the already fallen red-haired chicken got up behind the long-legged brother to launch a deadly sneak attack.

Song Yan emotionlessly reminded: “Behind.”

Long-legged brother turned around with a kick, and the red haired chicken received an actual deadly attack on the spot, and fell to the ground while painfully covering a spot that should not be named.

The chicken slaughterer stood away from the downpour and faced Song Yan, he raised his eyebrow and chuckled: “Thanks, brother.”

A strangely infectious laugh.

He immediately made the remaining four feather dusters laugh out of anger: “Fuck, this fucking brat actually brought an assistant! Brothers let’s continue! We can’t let any of them go!!!”

Song Yan: “……”

Why fucking involve him.

But the thin and pale beautiful youth walking into the rain alone really looked too easy to bully.

The gangsters dashed forward as if in a frenzy.

Song Yan held an umbrella in his right hand and stood in his original spot, waiting until the leader brandished a stick and ran towards him. His left hand immediately clamped down on the other’s wrist, twisted it in the opposite direction and forcefully kicked his knee in. The other immediately fell to the ground.

His nasal bone directly struck the stone pavement, and fresh blood gushed out in a flash. His face was forced to kiss the ground but he couldn’t stand the dirty rainwater. He didn’t even have time to get up when a foot ruthlessly grinded down on his back.

Song Yan kicked the person under his foot, tapped their lower jaw, and with an apathetic expression: “Continue?”

The rest of the feather dusters stood on the spot: “……”

Didn’t really want to continue.

They were just ordinary vagrants, and were only just moonlighting as gangsters. It wasn’t as if this was their actual job. Once they saw they couldn’t win, why the fuck would they continue.

But if they said this out loud, it would be too embarrassing. After all, they occupied an acknowledged niche in the chicken coop.

Fortunately, the long-legged brother knew them well, and carried his stick with him to squat next to the red-haired chicken. He unhurriedly said: “It’s fine if we don’t continue. But my grandma already returned the money she owes you long ago. You guys keep coming back to harass her, isn’t it inappropriate.”

“What do you know! The money that the old lady borrowed has to be managed under established rules, if she borrows 90% then she has to return 130% of that amount8, every dollar of that interest must be returned!” The red-haired chicken held back the pain from that unnamed place and howled out his occupational rules.

The long-legged brother’s temper was quite good, and nodded: “What you said makes sense.”

After he finished speaking, he stood up and lifted his leg and his elbow, and it looked as if he was planning to step on the red-haired chicken’s face.

The red-haired chicken that was just acting righteously was immediately frightened, and shut his eyes while hugging his head, blurting out: “Ok, ok, ok! I’ll listen to you!”

Long-legged brother: “Say it out loud.”

Red-haired chicken: “I’ll pass it on to the boss, and say that old grandma Liu already paid it back in full and won’t need prompting anymore. Is that ok?”

Long-legged brother satisfactorily lowered his leg: “If you were like this earlier wouldn’t it be fine. I was thinking if you kept disagreeing I’d have to bother the police uncles.”

If it was just a fight, they were all willing to brave the dangers of combat, but once you mentioned the police, a few gangsters really became terrified: “No, no, no, Mr. Xie, there’s no need for that, really. We’re going now.”

They didn’t even wait for the red-haired chicken to finish speaking before they supported him to make their escape.

But when supporting him, they accidentally pressed on his injuries, and it hurt so much so that the red-haired chicken inhaled a breath of cold air: “Fuck! Xia Zhiye! You little bastard, why are you so ruthless when fighting!”

Xia Zhiye raised his brow: “Sorry, it was an accident.”

You dare, a big man like you still dares.

The red-haired chicken looked at that haughty face and couldn’t help but curse: “Don’t be coy with me! I’m not interested! You say you have this kind of little white face, if you find a rich woman and flirt with her you could be rich, and you wouldn’t be afraid of returning this bit of money……ugh…… Don’t cover my mouth, let me finish……wu……”

The feather dusters supported their elder brother who had already lost his desire for survival and hurriedly disappeared under Nan Wu city’s cold and unfeeling rain.

Xia Zhiye stood at the same spot staring in the direction they had left, remaining silent. The thin and tall youth’s frame in the midst of the downpour looked a bit desolate and lonely.

Song Yan never lacked money, but he also knew that boys at this age had a strong sense of self-esteem. Being exposed to such a degree in front of his peers, and even being humiliated by others insinuating he depend on a rich woman, many would feel embarrassed and hurt.

So he pretended as if he didn’t hear anything, and turned to walk away, when he heard an unhurried voice amidst the torrential downpour: “Seems reasonable, huh……”

The tone was filled to the brim with a sense of long term understanding of oneself along with a sudden flash of insight.

Song Yan: “?”

What seems reasonable?

Before he could react, he saw the seemingly desolate and lonely boy who should have been thoroughly traumatized slowly turn around, and look at him with an earnest expression: “Tell me, with this kind of face……”

“?”

“If I take the plunge and open it up for business, wouldn’t it be worth quite a bit of money?”

“……”

What kind of justification is that?

I hope that money is enough to treat your brain.

1. Xiao = 小 = little, often added to a character in a person’s name as an affectionate term of endearment in a nickname

2. GaoDe maps, China’s version of a map app.

3. Lao = 老 = old, similar to xiao, added to a name as a close form of address between friends

4. Another character added after a name as a term of endearment

5. Tieba is a communication platform in China, and is essentially like a forum for a specific community, in this case, the high school

6. A martial arts stance, see here

7. Laozi = 老子, and is an arrogant way to say I/me

8. Basically, if you borrow 100 yuan, 10 yuan is lost to “service fees,” so you technically only borrow 90 yuan, and upon return, the creditors expect 130 yuan as a result of interest.