Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 15

Who would have thought the visual effect of Song Yan changing clothes would be so shocking

After Zhao Ruiwen’s worldview collapsed, its reconstruction was not as smooth.

He looked at Xia Zhiye: “Lord Xia, did you open the link yet.”

Xia Zhiye’s was playing Anipop1: “Nope.”

He then turned to look at Song Yan: “Yan ge, what about you?”

Song Yan: “I didn’t add her WeChat.”

Zhao Ruiwen felt he couldn’t bear this kind of mental collapse alone.

So he began to probe: “Then……have you guys heard of Omegas?”

Xia Zhiye had just happened to complete a level, and carelessly said: “The watch?”

“Nope.” Zhao Ruiwen found it a bit embarrassing to say: “That kind of Omega.”

“What kind?”

“Just that kind.”

“Exactly what kind?”

Even someone as good-tempered as Xia Zhiye had been pestered into impatience.

Zhao Ruiwen could only grit his teeth: “The kind that can give birth!”

Xia Zhiye: “?”

Zhao Ruiwen clenched his eyes shut, his heart a mess: “A boy! Who’s fragrant! And can get bitten! And even get pregnant and give birth, that kind!”

“……”

A strange and deathly silence.

Zhao Ruiwen opened his eyes, and found Xia Zhiye and Song Yan had on a strange and taciturn expression, and shifted farther and farther away from him.

“?” Zhao Ruiwen, “No, don’t misunderstand, I don’t read it, Kong Xiaoxiao sent it to me! What’s the meaning of your guarded expression!”

Xia Zhiye placated him: “It’s nothing, just that Song Yan and I are pretty good-looking, and we’re afraid you can’t hold back.”

Zhao Ruiwen: “???”

Have you no shame?

Also laozi likes girls!

“Kong Xiaoxiao really just sent it to me! If you don’t believe me, look for yourself!” As a steel straight man, Zhao Ruiwen’s desire to prove his innocence could be seen from the heavens.

Xia Zhiye comforted him: “It’s fine, in front of love, everyone is equal. We will treat you as well as we always have in the past. It’s just that I’m a purebred2, and I don’t have that much interest in the types of literature that you prefer.”

Who isn’t a purebred!

Zhao Ruiwen was so livid he confronted Kong Xiaoxiao who had been hidden in a corner, laughing so hard she was shaking.

While the two fought vigorously, the door to the practice room was pushed open, and a draft of wind caused the white skirt of the girl at the entrance to flap about.

The girl gasped in surprise: “Turns out there are people here?”

A tall boy who came along and stood beside her: “What’s wrong, the practice room is occupied?”

“Yeah.” The girl nodded, then turned to speak to the people inside the practice room, “Our class wants to rehearse our play, can you guys go somewhere else and let us use the practice room?”

“?”

The girl’s cheeks were quite small, but her face itself was quite large.

Kong Xiaoxiao sat cross-legged on the ground: “I thought ‘first come, first serve’ was the basic essence of the Chinese people.”

The girl only seemed to see her at this point, then ‘ah’ed in surprise: “Xiaoxiao you’re also here? Your class is also rehearsing for a show?”

Kong Xiaoxiao: “Yep.”

The girl’s hand pulled back into her sleeve and fiddled around a bit: “Then can you guys let us use the room first? Anyways, it’s not like you guys have anything to rehearse……”

Kong Xiaoxiao: “? Yang Yue, what do you mean?”

“Aiyah, I don’t mean anything, Xiaoxiao, don’t misunderstand. Aiyah, hubby, hurry up and help me explain.” The girl tugged at the sleeves of the boy standing beside her.

Calling the other hubby was probably illegal, as they hadn’t yet reached the legal age to get married. But regardless of their young age, they already had the graceful manner of the overbearing president3.

He glanced inside the practice room, then raised his chin: “Don’t worry, if they want to use it, then let them use it. After all, the others already gave you the position of the dance troupe’s leader, so you should just back down for these types of situations. Hubby will take you to the basketball court.”

After saying this, he held the girl’s hand and swaggered away.

“??? Holy shit!” Kong Xiaoxiao was angered into standing up on the spot, and prepared to chase after them to start a fight.

Zhao Ruiwen hurriedly stopped her: “Okay, okay, Xiao jie, let’s not lower ourselves to argue with that kind of white lotus4.”

“So pissed off, isn’t it just getting chosen to be the leader of the dance team? Why does she need to show off5 all day?” Kong Xiaoxiao was so angry she even had her hands on her hips, “Tell me! Is she prettier or am I prettier!”

Zhao Ruiwen: “……”

A short moment of silence was exchanged for a long period of explosive anger.

After Kong Xiaoxiao finished venting, she once again sat cross-legged on the floor, and told Song Yan the low-down, “Those two people, Class 16’s Yang Yue and Zhao Yu, are a pair. All day long they act lovey-dovey, and even call themselves the grade’s flower, grade’s grass6, a match made in heaven. Tell me, do you think they’re worthy of that title?”

Song Yan had no lasting impression of the girl, but for some reason felt that the boy was way too greasy.

Like he was directly copied from the short video of the ‘spirited young man7.’

Compared to Xia Zhiye, the difference wasn’t small.

“Truly not worthy.” Song Yan said.

Kong Xiaoxiao: “?”

Who would have thought Song Yan would actually respond to her, and she felt a bit overwhelmed by favor.

Then she smacked her thigh: “That’s right, not worthy at all! Also they want to play Romeo and Juliet, saying it’s the western version of the Butterfly Lovers or whatever. They clearly just want to provoke me!”

Song Yan felt the other party didn’t necessarily think that far ahead.

“Anyways I don’t care!” Kong Xiaoxiao pulled at her sleeve, bringing out a big sister’s imposing manner, “The few of you must work hard, and crush them for me! Especially Yan ge, the heavy responsibility of beating Yang Yue in terms of beauty is all up to you!”

Song Yan: “?”

Kong Xiaoxiao seemed to find no issue with her words, and with her lofty aspirations and heroic spirit, lifted her milk tea: “Come, brothers, cheers to us! I swear not to give up until No.3 Middle High becomes a bloody massacre!”

Song Yan: “……”

It seems that being crazy really does have the phenomena of human to human transmission.

And the situation in Year 2 Class 1 is at least at the point of a cluster of such cases.

.

Kong Xiaoxiao was probably too stimulated by the Romeo and Juliet from next door, and after originally saying to play for a week first, instead dragged everyone to begin rehearsing on the second day.

The dance team and the drama group practiced simultaneously, both determined to have their revenge.

In order to ensure Song Yan’s superiority in terms of beauty, they had even persuaded Ruan Tian to set aside a sum of money for costumes, and dragged Song Yan to visit a costume rental shop over the weekend.

Song Yan felt this situation from beginning to end had a bit of an unintelligent vibe, but seeing that the others were full of enthusiasm and fighting spirit, he just tacitly agreed to all sorts of weird things.

The night before they were to choose the costumes, thanks to Shen Jiayan’s trusted acquaintances, he bought a King’s Glory WeChat account, changed the ID to [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady], and went off to find Xia Zhiye to play a few rounds.

He played top lane and mid lane8 quite well, while Xia Zhiye played jungler well, and the two casually played and ended up winning ten rounds in a row.

Other than the BP9 and sending each other signals, they hadn’t said a single word to each other.

After playing a few rounds he directly went offline, and Song Yan gave the other 200 yuan on the website.

This money couldn’t be considered a lot, but also wasn’t considered very little.

It’s the kind of amount where if you really wanted to do something, you’d find you can’t really do much at all, but when you go out to play with other high school students of the same age, you can eat a meal or buy a drink. Just perfect to pay for your own expenses.

Although Song Yan was unclear as to exactly how much money Xia Zhiye had, but giving him a bit more was a form of insurance.

Anyways, he didn’t know why, but he was unwilling to have Xia Zhiye appear even the slightest bit poverty stricken in front of others. And felt that anytime, anywhere, the other should always appear carefree and dazzling.

If he really had to find a reason, then it was probably because Xia Zhiye was his roommate, and one’s glory was the other’s glory, and one’s defeat was the other’s defeat.

After Song Yan thought of this answer, he felt there was no gap in his reasoning.

.

The costume rental shop was in the new city district across from the river, and was a bit of a distance away from No.3 Middle High. For convenience, a few people planned to take public transport to get there.

Since he was young, Song Yan had never taken public transport as he disliked crowded areas, and disliked inconvenient things.

But when Kong Xiaoxiao suggested this, he didn’t say anything, just wore his earbuds, a face mask, and got on the bus, directly walking to the last row on the bus.

Xia Zhiye lazily followed behind him, and helped the other swipe the bus fare with his card.

After all, a certain young master didn’t have such a thing.

The bus didn’t have many people, and the carriage itself was deserted and very quiet.

When Xia Zhiye walked over, Song Yan had already leaned against the back of the seat with his head looking up and his eyes shut.

Because his two legs were long, he couldn’t stretch that widely in the narrow aisle. His neck was also leaning on the plastic backing of the seat, and he didn’t look that comfortable. The sunlight from the blazing hot spell at the end of the summer shone down.

The little young master wrinkled his eyebrows, and his cheeks had already turned slightly pink, as if he was about to explode.

He was already a young man.

How could he be so delicate.

Xia Zhiye raised his leg to kick Song Yan, and sat next to him near the window, using his tall stature to securely block the blazing sun in the late afternoon.

Song Yan’s entire person was suddenly covered in a shadow, directly followed by the feeling of a cool wind surrounding him, and the dry heat and sticky wetness on his body subsided greatly. His eyebrows slowly smoothed out, his breathing gradually leveled out, and his head unknowingly landed to rest on Xia Zhiye’s shoulder.

It landed on his injury and hurt a bit, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t tolerate it.

It was hard for this little master to sleep smoothly, so he should properly serve the other.

Xia Zhiye was subjected to the scorching afternoon sun, and took out ‘Five Years of Gaokao, Three Year Simulation10’ to fan himself, sighing at his miserable fate of being a maid caring at the bedside of their master.

Zhao Ruiwen and Kong Xiaoxiao in the row ahead looked back at this scene, and felt as if they were blinded.

Zhao Ruiwen’s face looked complicated, deliberated for a long moment, then finally opened his mouth hesitatingly: “Um, Lord Xia, I really think you can look at the reference materials Kong Xiaoxiao gave before. Who knows, it might open a brand new world.”

Xia Zhiye didn’t bother to look up: “Fuck off, laozi is a purebred man.”

.

Once the bus arrived at the stop, Xia Zhiye’s shoulder was already numb to the point where he didn’t feel pain at all. He easily hooked his arm over Song Yan’s neck, then sloppily walked off the bus with the other.

The costume rental shop was quite large, and easy to find.

European costumes, cheongsams, hanfus, ancient Chinese costumes, Japanese style clothes, JK11, they had everything they should have.

Whenever Xia Zhiye saw any novel clothing item, he’d hang it in front of Song Yan. Finally, when he pulled out a red qipao12 with a slit, he was pushed and beaten by Song Yan for a bit.

Kong Xiaoxiao on the side was used to this, and instead pulled out two sets of a blue-white ancient Chinese scholarly uniform and tossed it at them: “Okay break it up, stop flirting13, go try it on.”

Little fatty: “What about me?”

Kong Xiaoxiao pointed at a red and violet upper class lady’s outfit: “There, that’s yours, the biggest size.”

Little fatty: “……”

Do supporting characters have no human rights.

Fortunately his well-rounded and ample body wearing the upper class lady’s outfit brought out a special kind of grace.

Using Zhao Ruiwen’s words, him wearing this outfit standing next to Song Yan and Xia Zhiye brought out the mood of a malicious mother-in-law breaking apart a loving couple. The comedic effect was so great he wouldn’t even need to act anything out.

“Not bad, not bad, we’ll choose this one then.”

Kong Xiaoxiao then turned to Xia Zhiye and Song Yan, and nodded with satisfaction, “Worthy of being the face of the second years in Class 1, revitalizing our social status is all up to you guys.”

“If you made your decision, then I’ll go change my clothes.”

Song Yan said this, then turned to walk back to the changing rooms.

Kong Xiaoxiao promptly pulled him back: “Stop, stop, stop, there’s still one more outfit.”

As she said this, Zhao Ruiwen pulled up a red cheongsam and thudded his way over: “It’s this one right? I found the biggest size.”

Song Yan: “……”

At that moment, the surrounding area within 5 meters automatically grew colder.

Kong Xiaoxiao immediately placed her palms together in a praying gesture: “Grandpa, dear grandpa, I’m begging you. You have to wear a wedding dress for the final scene. It’s just one scene, you can even beat me to death but you definitely can’t reject me. Also don’t worry, you and Xia Zhiye will wear a matching set. When the time comes, Ma Wencai will wear a green set. We definitely won’t give you and Liu Yue a couple’s set. Just take it as me begging you, I’ll even kneel for you.”

She spoke tearfully, as if snot and mucus would drip down at any moment.

What awaited her was three seconds of terrifying silence.

Then Song Yan expressionlessly grabbed the wedding dress, and walked into the changing room.

Kong Xiaoxiao, Zhao Ruiwen, and the little fatty collectively sighed in relief: “It scared me to death, I was already prepared to collectively buy our graveyard spots. Who would’ve thought Yan ge is easier to convince than he looks.”

“He always only looks as if he’s hard mouthed.”

Xia Zhiye was unsurprised, and easily took the groom’s outfit, and walked into the changing room next to him.

The wedding outfit was about the same as the scholar’s outfit, and after casually fiddling about, the costume was laid neatly on his body.

And because his skin was white, he was tall, his figure was good and his face itself was quite attractive, just casually wearing the red bridegroom outfit made him look dignified and accomplished.

Kong Xiaoxiao raised the thumb of a face-con14: “Truly No.3 Middle High’s gang leader, perfect.”

Xia Zhiye was very modest: “Someone as perfect as me is indeed a blessing for No.3 Middle High.”

Kong Xiaoxiao: “……”

It was a pity he had a mouth.

“But where’s Song Yan?” Zhao Ruiwen asked.

Kong Xiaoxiao: “He probably didn’t finish changing yet?”

Xia Zhiye: “I’ll go check.”

He walked back to the door of the dressing room, and knocked against the wood twice.

An impatient voice could be heard from inside: “What?”

“Nothing, just asking if you’re done yet.”

“Not done.” An extremely short-tempered sentence, then came the sound of clothes rustling for a long while, and then he couldn’t help asking, “Go ask them how the fuck am I supposed to wear this dumb outfit.”

This little temper.

It’s a piece of clothing, how else can you wear it.

Xia Zhiye had a straight man’s way of thinking, and completely didn’t understand the intricacies of women’s clothing, and felt that Song Yan’s little young master’s temper was once again offended, and that he just needed to be waited upon by a maid: “Forget it, I’ll come in and help you.”

After he said this, he extended his hand to lift the ends of the curtain, acting as if wasn’t an outsider.

Then he saw Song Yan standing inside with his back facing the entrance.

His black t-shirt was tossed to the side, and the red wedding gown was pulled halfway up from the bottom. It was already pulled up onto his left shoulder, while the right sleeve was twisted up in the dress. He tilted his head to the side in an attempt to unwind the garment, exposing a large portion of his right shoulder.

Because of his lowered head, his cervical spine faintly protruded outward, expressing the cold, stiff skeleton of the youth. His shoulder was very thin, and his butterfly bones were excessively slim. A large swath of cold, white skin followed along a bow tied at the waist of the wedding dress, and he looked like a pale, porcelain wine jar wrapped in red silk, bitingly cold and extravagant.

Xia Zhiye and Song Yan had lived together for more than half a month, and he had never walked in while Song Yan was changing, and never would have thought the visual effect would be so shocking.

So shocking that he suddenly thought he might not be quite as purebred as he thought.

1. Anipop is a match-3 game (like Candy Crush).

2. Purebred as in a straight man.

3. Overbearing president is a character archetype in which the male protagonist is described as being domineering, handsome, and black-bellied. Treats their lover well, but treats others poorly.

4. White lotus is another character archetype, in which one looks pure/good on the outside, but is actually rude/rotten on the inside.

5. Author uses 得瑟, which means to feel overwhelmed when you receive an achievement that is not worth mentioning at all.

6. Similar to school grass/school flower, grade’s flower/grass is the best looking in the grade (as opposed to school)

7. Spirited young man (精神小伙) is used to describe a clean and energetic young man, but can also be a derogatory term for boys who try too hard. See here.

8. Different roles in the game, King’s Glory.

9. BP is the part before the actual game starts, and involves banning/picking the heroes to be used in the round.

10. A test prep book that is published yearly, very popular amongst high school students for preparing for the gaokao

11. JK, is a term from Japanese slang, joshi kosei, which means a female high school student. Hence, the style of clothing here is a schoolgirl outfit. The other outfits: cheongsam (长裙), hanfu (汉服)

12. Qipao, a style of dress, often used interchangeably with cheongsam

13. Author uses 打情骂俏 here, which is to banter flirtatiously lol

14. Face-con = someone who is attracted to good-looking faces