Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 2

If you were to be objective, if the other really did open up business with his face, it would be quite valuable.

His skin was very pale, his hair was light in color, he had a tall nose and dark eyebrows, and appeared aggressive. But meanwhile, he also had a pair of peach blossom eyes that appeared to be inherently smiling. Hence when smiling lazily, even the little mole on the right side of his nose appeared to be asking to be beat up.

Seems the type to be able to bring a girl to ruin.

But it seems his brain isn’t too good.

Song Yan was too lazy to bother with idiots, so he raised his umbrella and walked away abruptly.

But the idiot came up from behind his shoulders, and a low and unhurried gentle laugh could be heard from the side of his ear: “How about this pretty little classmate help me out?”

After he finished speaking, a frizzy haired old lady hobbled over from the entrance of the alley: “Xiao Ye, I heard that group of people came again? Did you fight with them again?”

It seems that if Xia Zhiye said he really did fight with others then she would immediately have a heart attack on the spot.

Xia Zhiye seized the opportunity and hooked Song Yan’s shoulder, and pulled him back. He laughed loosely: “No, we were just discussing the interaction of force here.”

“?” The old woman spiritedly asked, “You love learning that much?”

Xia Zhiye’s expression didn’t change: “Mm, studying for the rise of China.”

Song Yan: “……”

Psycho.

The old lady asked: “Then who is this?”

Xia Zhiye’s eyes didn’t even blink: “My friend, a top student. If you don’t believe it then you ask him?”

The old lady looked at Song Yan.

Song Yan also looked at the old lady.

A brief confrontation.

Song Yan’s face was expressionless: “Yeah.”

The old lady finally let out a sigh of relief: “That’s good, that’s good. Since you’re Xiao Ye’s friend, why don’t you come in and sit?”

Song Yan indifferently pushed away Xia Zhiye’s hand on his shoulder: “No need.”

The old lady replied worriedly: “But your hair is all wet, if you don’t wipe your hair quickly you’ll probably get sick.”

“No need.”

“What do you mean no need, look at your wet hair. Listen to grandma, hurry up.”

“There’s really no…”

“Aiya, this little old lady is worried to death, my heart hurts, my heart hurts.”

“……”

Looking at the old lady putting on such a show, Xia Zhiye laughed and hooked Song Yan’s neck once again: “Let’s go, you can never defeat an old lady who’s worried about you.”

Song Yan: “……”

From the beginning, why did he have to bother with other people’s business.

Grandma Liu’s courtyard was in the innermost area of the alleyway.

No matter what, Song Yan wouldn’t go so far as to throw a tantrum with an old lady, so with a cold face, he was led in with Xia Zhiye’s arm slung over his shoulder.

Once the door opened, a little glutinous rice ball with unkempt hair ran forward on her little short legs. She hugged Xia Zhiye’s legs while raising her face, and with both a crisp and sweet voice said: “Ye gege1.“

Xia Zhiye smoothly lifted her up, and hugged her with one arm: “Come, little mahjong, let me introduce you to a pretty gege.”

Who the fuck is a pretty gege.

Song Yan: “My name is……”

“Pretty gege!”

“Not pretty gege, it’s……”

“Hey, this child, what are you dawdling for! Quickly, go brush your hair!”

“……”

After having his introduction interrupted twice, Song Yan decided to shut up, walk into the room and put away his umbrella.

The pitch black eyes swept around the room in a circle, pushing down the easy to see irritation.

The entire courtyard was a large chunk of land, the furnishings and daily use products all divulged financial hardships, but was clean and neat from inside to outside. The osmanthus trees in the atrium also let out a faint fragrance.

Grandma Liu quickly brought out a clean and dry towel as well as two cups of hot water: “Hurry up and wipe your hair. After wiping, drink some hot water, warm your body so as not to catch a cold.”

While handing over the water to Song Yan, she smiled and rectified her statement: “Don’t worry, even if it looks old, it’s very clean and not dirty.”

Song Yan was originally not thirsty, but after hearing this sentence he decided to take the cup: “Thank you.”

Polite but very reserved.

Xia Zhiye became very casual, and sat on a stool with his legs spread, carrying over little mahjong to begin tidying her head of hair.

The three year old girl’s hair was both soft and fine, while Xia Zhiye’s hands were both long and big. Song Yan felt that as long as he used his strength, little mahjong would have to pay respects to Statham2 on the spot.

As a result, not only did he not tear her bald, but the two plaited braids were done rather neatly. In the end, Xia Zhiye had even taken out a new hair clip to pin onto the little girl: “Not bad, looks good.”

The little girl immediately ran into the room to look in the mirror, and immediately a sweet voice sounded: “It really looks good! Thank you Ye gege!”

Song Yan, sitting in the center, who saw for himself how the huge Barbie pink butterfly clip was pinned onto her head: “……”

Something like appreciating aesthetics, generally follows “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree3.”

In this case, the tree had no misgivings towards these things, and lazily leaned against the chair: “Then next time Ye gege will give little mahjong a big red one, one on each side so you can wear them together.”

Song Yan visualized it for a second, and felt that he received a mental attack.

“Such a good girl, why call her little mahjong?”

“Oh, that.” Xia Zhiye leaned against the back of the chair, and conveniently opened the TV. CCTV6 was just broadcasting “Penguins of Madagascar,” when the baby penguins were just getting picked up. “Because I picked her up from outside the mahjong parlor.”

He used such an ordinary and lax tone to say something that was both unexpected and stunning.

Song Yan was about to apologize.

But Xia Zhiye turned his head to look at him, and with a serious expression: “But I always felt that she was an abandoned princess from the royal family. She’s sure to help me grow rich, what do you think?”

Song Yan: “……”

I feel like there’s something wrong with your brain.

He coldly reminded him: “Our country is a socialist country ruled under the people’s democratic dictatorship.”

“Ah, that’s too bad.” Xia Zhiye said, “Then do you think there’s any chance she has a Thai lineage?”

Song Yan couldn’t help himself: “I think you might have some kind of illness.”

“……Not bad, you’re very special.” Xia Zhiye objectively assessed, then asked, “So what’s your name?”

“Song Yan.”

“Which ‘Yan’?”

“The ‘Yan’ in loathsome4.”

“……”

A strange silence.

Xia Zhiye politely complimented: “Very unique.”

Song Yan ridiculed in return: “ In the same boat as little mahjong.”

As a child, he was often attacked because of his name. Others always said how depressed his parents were to give him such a name, and he had cried and thrown plenty of tantrums over this matter as a child.

Only after he grew up a bit did he realize that when Song Minghai named him, he was actually very depressed.

And after growing up some more, he discovered that this name was extremely standard, it simply summarized the feelings his father had for him since birth, so he just made do with it.

But it was clear that Xia Zhiye didn’t quite like it, and his fingertips tapped against the worn wooden armrest, and after knocking it twice, with a low and languid tone of voice said: “Your name is really not easy to say. Also look at yourself, you look good and your temperament is also good, very charming, so……”

“?”

“So why don’t we call you Song Daxi5 in the future.”

Song Yan: “……”

Song fucking Daxi.

Why would he think that someone who wants to open his face up for business could say anything decent.

The cold impatience in his eyes could no longer be held back, and he put down his cup: “Don’t worry, there will be no next time.”

After he said this, he picked up the umbrella in the corner, and prepared to leave.

He just happened to bump into grandma Liu who was exiting the kitchen: “Why are you leaving? Are you not staying for lunch?”

Song Yan felt that directly saying something like “because I feel your grandson has some kind of problem” would be slightly impolite, and changed the topic: “Mm, I’m trying to catch a flight and worried I will be late.”

“It’s almost time for school to start, where are you flying off to?” The old lady’s desire for knowledge was quite compelling.

Song Yan was unaccustomed to telling lies, and coughed a little.

Xia Zhiye reminded him genially: “Madagascar.”

Song Yan: “Yes, Mada……”

After saying it halfway, he finally reacted, Mada-what now.

Yet grandma Liu already started to investigate: “Ma-what?”

Song Yan braced himself: “Madagascar.”

“Daga what?”

“Madagascar.”

“Mada what?”

“…………”

Xia Zhiye who was watching the show on the side finally couldn’t hold back and laughed out a little: “Ok grandma, if you don’t understand then don’t keep asking. Otherwise if he misses his flight, then he’ll lose 10,000 yuan.”

“Aiyah. Then we won’t delay you any longer, you hurry up and go. Remember to tell Xiao Ye you are safe and sound once you arrive at Mada-whatsitcalled.”

The old lady’s face was entirely earnest.

The room was filled with Xia Zhiye’s low laughter.

Song Yan didn’t say anything, opened his umbrella, hid his coffin face from view, and walked directly out the entrance.

He was afraid if he stayed a second longer, an event of violent bloodshed would take place here.

But that voice that did not know good from bad followed him from behind the entrance: “Oh right, if you’re going to Madagascar, then you probably have to pass by No.3 Middle High’s dorm gate. Remember that when turning left at the first alleyway, you must not walk to the end, or else you will get lost. See you.”

“……”

Song Yan felt that it was best not to meet again, or else there was bound to be one missing between the two of them.

Although he didn’t know how Xia Zhiye knew he wanted to go to No.3 Middle High’s dorms, he should take advantage of his reminder. This time, Song Yan quickly found the location.

After completing the procedures and while receiving the key, the dorm auntie with a head of ramen noodles was full of joy: “Let me tell you, your luck this time was good. The dorm room you got only has one other person, and that boy particularly loves cleanliness.”

Song Yan followed the room number on the key and found his room at the innermost corridor of the sixth floor. After opening the door, the room was much neater than he imagined a boy’s dorm room could be.

The right side of the room had a row of closets and a desk.

The left side had two bunk bed frames6.

One of the bunk bed frames had a neat pile of luggages, basketball shoes, as well as a wooden guitar. The lower bed of the other frame had a bedsheet laid out smoothly, as well as a neatly folded blanket. The upper bed was otherwise bare.

Song Yan didn’t want to move other people’s belongings, so he just made do with the upper bed.

After carelessly tidying up, he took a photo and sent it to Tan Qing to express he was well.

He quickly received a response.

[Aunt Tan]: If you’re done tidying up, hurry and eat. Don’t forget you have to go to school at 2pm. All the procedures are complete, you just need to report to your homeroom teacher.

[Aunt Tan]: I heard Director Liu say the homeroom teacher this time is a young female teacher. She’s pretty and her disposition is good, don’t provoke anyone.

Song Yan always felt that he was the type that wouldn’t bother anyone if they didn’t bother him, so how could he go and bother others.

Is it because of his name?

Anyways, Liu Deqing never told lies.

The new homeroom teacher this time really was young, pretty, and had a good disposition. She had a dollface, with big eyes, and even had two dimples when she laughed: “My name is Ruan Tian, the English teacher for sophomores in Class 1, as well as the homeroom teacher for your class. I heard you transferred from Beijing?”

“Mn.” Song Yan stood at the door to the classroom carrying a backpack with drooping eyes, and hummed in assent.

It’s not that he was impolite.

It’s just that he is 1.81 meters, and Ruan Tian was only 1.58 meters, if he didn’t look this way he wouldn’t be able to see her.

Ruan Tian raised her neck: “I know at your previous school, your attendance rate is about 98%, and your grades are pretty good, but it seems in your last semester you didn’t go for a period of time?”

“I was sick.”

“Oh……so it’s like that……”

Ruan Tian appeared a bit worried.

Song Yan added a sentence without any feeling: “I can keep up.”

Ruan Tian’s worried expression disappeared in an instant, and she smiled brightly: “Mm, teacher believes you can do it, so you can just sit there.”

She pointed to the last row of seats near the window in the classroom: “It just so happens that you can form a one on one pair with your tablemate to help each other improve.”

Unlike his previous school where each person had their own desk, at No.3 Middle High, there were two people to a desk.

Song Yan not only disliked this kind of close contact relationship such as a same table mate, but also disliked this kind of dumb one on one relationship where they would have to ‘help each other improve.’ But he could do nothing in the face of Ruan Tian’s TV drama female lead-esque business smile and blunt words, and could only carry his backpack and quietly walk towards the desk.

He acted as if he couldn’t see the commotion and whispering in the classroom, and stuffed his backpack into the storage area of the desk near the window. He wore his earbuds, and leaned against the table to take a nap.

But his cell phone began to ‘ding-ding-ding-ding’ endlessly.

Song Yan irritatedly sat up, pulled out his cell phone, and saw that idiot Shen Jiayan’s name pop up on his screen nonstop, as if it were disco dancing on a burial mound.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Are you there?

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Forget it, who cares if you’re there.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: As your best brother, I have something to say today. Your temper is truly too poor, wearing a face like a dead person all day, even hanging up on people at the drop of a hat. Always provoking people, ignoring people, always getting beat up by people outside.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: So I took your eight characters7 and found a great master to calculate your fortune. I found that sure enough, in Nan Wu you will offend the most powerful person in the area, to put it mildly, you’ll suffer physical and mental humiliation, and to put it harshly, it’s the loss of freedom.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: So to ensure your safety, me, your best bro, utilized all the information available on the internet and collected a list of the three most dangerous people in Nan Wu. I ask you to be sure to keep away from them, and stay alive to return to our grand capital.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Model Person.xsl

“……”

Why was there always someone who wanted to break his lower limit for idiots.

He wanted to see exactly what kind of bewitched thinking Shen Jiayan had, so Song Yan easily opened the document.

[Dangerous Person #1]: Liu Yue, reportedly a sports committee member, and is a muscular and fierce person. Loves to fight, and the public opinion on him is poor.

[Dangerous Person #2]: Lin Yiling, reportedly a beautiful woman whose hobby is smoking, drinking, dying her hair, skipping class, and even playing around with young boys’ feelings.

[Dangerous Person #3]: ……

Before he had time to finish reading, a new message from Shen Jiayan came.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Did you finish reading the document?

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: It’s okay if you didn’t finish reading it, it’s best if you just read the last one, that delinquent, the one who’s involved with the mafia.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Apparently he’s a 2 meter tall bad boy, and previously in a 1 versus 6 fight, he achieved the success and glory of getting everyone admitted into a hospital. Everyone gave him the nickname of No.3 Middle High’s little despot, and is even a super unrivaled playboy. There are at least forty girls who claim to be his girlfriend, simply irritating!

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: But wait, what’s his name again, wait for me, I’ll look for it.

Without waiting for Shen Jiayan to find the name, Song Yan felt it darken in front of him, as if he was covered by a shadow.

He raised his head to take a look.

And saw Ruan Tian standing shoulder to shoulder with the person he didn’t want to see the most in front of him.

“Song Yan, this is your new table mate, and the other person in your buddy system pair. You guys must get along well with each other, and help improve together.”

Once Ruan Tian finished speaking, she stood on her high heels and clacked away.

The new desk mate left behind stood under the incandescent light, and with red lips and white teeth, as well as slightly curved eyebrows, brightly laughed: “Classmate Song Daxi from Madagascar, long time no see.”

Classmate Song Daxi from Madagascar glanced at him, and then numbly glanced at the new message from Shen Jiayan

[Xiao Yan, I searched it up. That 2 meter fierce playboy’s name is Xia Zhiye. You better memorize this name and stay far, far away from him! You heard me!]

Then he expressionlessly replied with a few words.

[YAN]8: Probably can’t stray too far from him.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: ?

[YAN]: Between me and him, one of us is quickly going to disappear.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: ???

1. Gege = 哥哥 = older brother; do not necessarily have to be related to each other

2. Refers to Jason Statham, an actor who usually plays the antihero. I guess SY means that XZY is like Statham, and would have no scruples tearing little mahjong’s hair out.

3. Little mahjong’s aesthetic is skewed because XZY’s aesthetic is bad.

4. The character ‘yan’ (厌) in SY’s name means ‘to loathe’ or ‘loathsome’

5. XZY changes ‘yan’ in SY’s name to 大喜, lit. meaning ‘big happiness’ or ‘great celebration’ (i’m not crying, you’re crying)

6. Dorm rooms in China usually house 4-6 people to a room, hence why there are 2 bunk bed frames

7. The eight characters are a Chinese astrological concept wherein a person’s destiny/fate can be divined from characters assigned from one’s birth year, month, day, and hour

8. SY’s name was originally written in english