Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 27

A little sweetheart on the outside, but a little gege in the back

Silence.

Stagnation.

A deathly stillness.

After the door closed, the two maintained the posture of one sitting on the sofa, the other sitting face to face with his legs straddled across the other, neither moving.

As if hoping that as long as they didn’t move, then the embarrassment from social suicide would forever be sealed up in the room.

Until Xia Zhiye raised his eyebrows, and probingly asked: “Continue?”

Song Yan then ruthlessly slapped the hand that Xia Zhiye had placed on his waist: “Continue my ass!”

With a cold face, he attempted to get off of Xia Zhiye’s body, but because he had been wearing gloves covered in ointment, and was afraid of dirtying the sofa, he couldn’t conveniently support himself. He could only rely on the strength of his waist and legs, and climbed up with difficulty.

But after climbing up halfway, he grew unstable again, and as he staggered, couldn’t hold himself steady, and once again fell onto Xia Zhiye’s legs, his body bumping into the other’s embrace.

Xia Zhiye attempted to support him, but was once again slapped away by Song Yan’s palm, and the other fiercely said: “Don’t touch laozi.”

Tsk, this temper’s too big.

Anyway, it wasn’t himself who would suffer if the other couldn’t get up.

So Xia Zhiye calmly sat on the sofa, and watched as Song Yan struggled around on his thighs.

Then he quickly found he could not remain calm any longer.

After all, two big men in such a close distance facing each other while sitting, while one didn’t know his place and kept twisting about, it would be difficult to avoid touching a few strange places.

After Song Yan’s third attempt to get back up, which ended in him falling back down, Xia Zhiye didn’t want to overdo it, and held a fist below his nose and coughed a bit.

Once he coughed, Song Yan who had originally planned to sincerely begin another attempt to climb up, seemed to have realized something, and after stiffening for a period of time, he lowly cursed in his heart ‘fuck’.

He was no longer able to care whether or not he dirtied the sofa, so he supported himself on his right hand, climbed up as quickly as possible, smoothly picked up the ointment and tossed it at Xia Zhiye: “Apply it yourself.”

After he said this, he hurriedly walked out.

So hurriedly that he even bumped into a corner of the wall.

Xia Zhiye couldn’t hold back his laughter as he watched a certain someone walk robotically, and asked: “Are you going to eat the midnight snack with Shang Huai tonight?”

“Let him buy a plane ticket first, and have him leave in two days. I won’t go today.” Song Yan forced himself to remain calm and tossed out this answer, then left the crime scene at top speed.

Xia Zhiye stared at a certain someone’s silhouette as they fled in defeat, and couldn’t help the uptick at the corner of his mouth.

Then he laid on his back on the sofa and exhaled slowly. Turns out the lesson in health education about how a youth’s hormones during puberty were especially vigorous was true.

It’s just that, why did it feel that only his was vigorous?

It made him feel like he was some kind of shameless delinquent.

Song Yan left the room, shut the door, and just wanted to calm himself down. But he turned his head, and found an unknown something hidden in a corner of the pitch-black living room, shocking him into directly kicking the unknown thing.

But after he turned on the light, he found that that unknown thing was Shen Jiayan, and finally sighed in relief: “Why are you acting like a ghost.”

Shen Jiayan curled up into a ball next to the sofa, hugging his knees with a dazed look, as if he had nothing left to live for: “I saw something I shouldn’t have seen, I’m no longer that innocent and pure youth anymore, I’m dirty.”

“……”

Song Yan wanted to immediately stuff this innocent and pure youth into a box and express deliver him back to Beijing.

But he reflected on himself, and still restrained the violent force within his body, and patiently explained: “It’s not what it looks like.”

Shen Jiayan nodded: “Mhm, you don’t need to explain, I understand.”

Song Yan raised his eyebrow: “What do you understand?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret for you, just remember to be safe.”

“……”

What the fuck do you understand.

Song Yan exhausted the restraint he had cultivated throughout his entire life in order to stop himself from pushing Shen Jiayan down from the balcony, then lowered his head while rubbing his eyebrow: “Why is your entire head filled with yellow waste. It’s just that Xia Zhiye was allergic, so I helped him apply the ointment, then I accidentally fell.”

Shen Jiayan: “Oh.”

That short word fully expressed the feeling of ‘You can say whatever makes you happy, but the truth remains in the heart of the public’.

“……”

Song Yan felt he could no longer communicate with this idiot.

So he simply gave up, and directly asked: “Why were you looking for me?”

If not, then he wouldn’t go so far as to suddenly opening the door to his room in the middle of the night.

Once he asked, Shen Jiayan recovered from his shock and remembered the real matter at hand: “Oh right, I almost forgot. I wanted to ask you about that matter with that ‘Sexy and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online’.”

“Shang Huai?” After Song Yan pondered for a moment, he finally remembered who ‘Sexy and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online’ was, “What did he want?”

“Before, I directly ordered 200 rounds from him, and already paid the money. But now there’s still 100 rounds left and he suddenly told me he probably can’t play games anymore. He wants to transfer my order to ‘Cute and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online’, and asked if I agreed or not.”

“You don’t?”

“That’s not it, anyway, accompanying me to play is all the same, as long as you can take me up the ranks. I was just worried if he had encountered some kind of accident. He was fine before, but suddenly said he can’t play games anymore? I’m just an online friend, and it’s not good to ask him. I figured you’re classmates with him and might know something, and it just happened that your room also wasn’t locked, so……”

So I accidentally saw such a dirty scene.

Shen Jiayan pitifully hugged his dirty self, and didn’t dare continue speaking.

Song Yan already felt powerless with no desire to beat the other, and expressionlessly replied: “Stop your despicable thoughts. Also Shang Huai is fine, he just happened to pass an audition for singers, and is going to Beijing for an interview. He probably won’t have time to play later.”

“Oh, then that’s fine.” Shen Jiayan sighed in relief, then asked, “Then what’s ‘Cute and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online’ like?”

Song Yan’s interactions with Shang Huai as well as Zhou Ziqiu were limited to Xia Zhiye, so it’s not like they were familiar with each other. He could only use the knowledge gained from a few meetings he had with the other, as well as the few times he played games with the other to make a rough judgment: “His temperament may not be as good as Shang Huai. He doesn’t talk as much, but he’s probably a good guy. His gaming skills are also a bit better.”

“Fine. Then I hope that your classmate’s interview goes well.”

Shen Jiayan said this, but continued to hug himself without moving.

Song Yan took a deep breath: “Do you want to die?”

Shen Jiayan immediately jumped up off the ground and flew towards his room. Right before he shut the door, he suddenly thought of something, raised his head, and mysteriously said one last sentence: “Remember to check WeChat before sleeping.”

After he said this, he quickly shut the door, then with a ‘click’, he locked the door from inside, blocking off any future misfortune.

Song Yan: “……”

He always felt that Shen Jiayan had never sent him anything good before.

As expected, he pulled out his phone, and opened it to see:

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Link: ‘Youth Excessively Indulging in Danger’

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Link: ‘Learn the Proper Steps to Protecting Yourself with Me’

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Link: ‘Doing it Like This Will Make it More Comfortable’

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Link: ……

Finally.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Brother, take care of yourself. Xia Zhiye’s body is really nice [rainbow emoji]

Song Yan: “……”

If he could, he really wished he never brought Shen Jiayan to NanWu.

Also, how is Xia Zhiye’s body really nice, doesn’t he just have abs and a mermaid line?

Song Yan seriously reflected on it, and felt it was only average.

The next day, they chose to have a communal meal in the little courtyard at Wine alley.

Grandma Liu cooked an entire table of dishes herself, and Shang Huai brought two large servings of bullfrog as well as an entire cooler of drinks and placed it on the table. Then the farewell party started.

Shang Huai poured a full cup of Cola, and held it up in front of Song Yan: “The first cup is to respect my father, classmate Song Yan.”

Song Yan: “……”

If he recalled correctly, a day ago, Shang Huai’s father was still Xia Zhiye.

Shang Huai was great at flattery: “Ayy, anyway, we’re all a big family, and it’s all the same either way. The most important thing is that I want to thank you for your generous contribution and your loyalty to those in need.”

Having said this, he finished the cup of Cola in a single breath, and sighed with feeling: “Yan ge, to be honest, I couldn’t understand why Lord Xia treated you so well in the beginning, and just felt you were super cold, super picky, super arrogant, super unreasonable, super……”

He had only just said ‘super’ halfway when he met Song Yan’s murderous and cold gaze, then swallowed his words and at once, devotedly said ‘But’, to change the direction of his monologue.

“But now I know I was wrong. Our Yan ge is not only handsome, has good grades, rich, but also extremely kindhearted and loyal. Definitely a friend amongst friends. As long as there’s anything you need, let me know, and I’ll cross the mountain of knives and the sea of fire1 and be bound to duty! I’ll return the money as soon as possible, and wish you and Ye ge……”

“?”

“A hundred years of happiness together.”

“……”

Without waiting for Song Yan to directly use his chopsticks to stab into Shang Huai’s throat, Xia Zhiye instead raised his leg and kicked the other: “Stop speaking nonsense.”

Shang Huai timidly cowered, but mischievously replied: “I’m just joking, if our Ye ge is really bent, then what would happen to our school flower?”

“School flower?” Once Shen Jiayan heard this phrase, he grew spirited.

It was rare for someone to egg him on, and Shang Huai was also someone who loved eating melons: “Just our school’s school flower, she’s quite pretty, and has chased our Ye ge for a full year.”

How could he not know about this.

Song Yan raised his eyelids a bit, and Xia Zhiye busily served him some food: “Don’t listen to him, it’s just a third year senior sister, when she has nothing to do she likes coming over to play.”

“It has nothing to do with me. Anyway, you already have over forty girlfriends, there’s no difference if you add another one.” Song Yan expressionlessly pushed aside the chopstick full of food that Xia Zhiye had served him.

Xia Zhiye: “……”

Shen Jiayan: “……”

Shang Huai: “……”

“That, let me ask you something, where did you hear that Xia Zhiye has over forty girlfriends?” Shang Huai cautiously probed.

Song Yan glanced at Shen Jiayan.

Shen Jiayan guiltily hid backwards.

Song Yan once again glanced at the other, Shen Jiayan once again hid.

Another glance, and the other hid backwards.

Another glance, and the other……

Bang——

Shen Jiayan’s butt slid off the chair, but fortunately, Zhou Ziqiu who had been sitting next to him had fast reflexes, and with one hand, pulled the other up.

Shen Jiayan hurriedly rushed towards the boy wearing a black sweatshirt who had been sitting next to him, and said: “Thank you, thank you.”

Then he guiltily faced Song Yan: “Um……those were all rumors……and perhaps they all may lack a bit of truth in them.”

“A bit?” Shang Huai clicked his tongue twice, “You could say that again. It’s way more than just ‘a bit’ and it’s simply just completely made up. Our Lord Xia is a famous, steel straight man2. He doesn’t get close to girls, is self-centered, and has been single since birth. Do you know what he’s done before?”

Shen Jiayan: “What?”

“When we were in our third year of middle school, the grade flower3 summoned up her courage to confess to Lord Xia, but he took one glance at her math test paper, and said he can’t date someone who’s grades are only half as much as his. He angered the grade flower so much that she registered for a math tutoring class on the spot.”

“Then?”

“Then the day after the entrance exam ended, she brought a pile of gifts that her mother and father bought for Lord Xia to the door of the classroom.”

“Fought to propose marriage?”

“Nope. It was because the grade flower was so attacked at that time that she decided not to dress up, didn’t watch idol dramas, and also didn’t want to date anymore. She just studied bitterly, and fought to have the last laugh. Finally, she tested into the best high school in our city, and her parents were so moved they wanted to send a silk banner4 to Lord Xia.”

“What was written on it?”

“Encourage learning.”

Shen Jiayan: “……”

Song Yan: “……”

The situation actually developed in such an unexpected way.

Shang Huai remembered past events, and wanted to continue: “I’ve never met someone as unromantic as Lord Xia in my life, a waste of that face, those legs, and those abs. If I had those qualifications, would I be worried about not being able to have puppy love?”

Shen Jiayan patted his shoulder, and comforted him: “Don’t worry, later when you become famous, you’ll definitely meet a girl who appreciates your talent.”

“Can she not appreciate my face?”

“……”

Shen Jiayan silently pulled away his hand, held up a can of Cola and pursed his lips, acting as if he hadn’t heard that sentence.

It was better to remain silent.

Shang Huai was very hurt, and sighed: “So it’s better to date online, just look at my Little Milk Strawberry……”

“Cough, cough, cough——” Shen Jiayan heard these words and suddenly choked, and without stalling, directly asked with a loud voice, “Who’s online dating with you!”

“Why are you so excited?” Shang Huai couldn’t understand, but also didn’t think too much, “Well, for now I’m actually not really online dating, but I believe if I press on, it’ll definitely work out. It’s just a shame that I have to work on my career, and can only temporarily entrust Little Milk Strawberry to my brother.”

As he said this, he looked at Zhou Ziqiu: “A friend’s wife can’t be bullied. You have to act with propriety, got it?”

Zhou Ziqiu was too lazy to bother: “I’m not the least bit interested in girls who can’t speak well, and are childish as hell.”

Shen Jiayan: “……”

You’re the one who can’t speak well, you’re the one who’s childish as hell, you’re the girl.

Xia Zhiye who had jumped out of the pan5 with great difficulty, picked out a meaty bullfrog thigh and gave it to Song Yan while laughing: “What if it’s a boy though.”

Zhou Ziqiu raised his eyebrow: “With that name, that voice, that way of speaking, could it be a boy?”

“It’s not impossible. They could be called a little sweetheart on the surface, but it could actually be a little gege……”

“Cough, cough, cough——”

Xia Zhiye originally wanted to tease Shen Jiayan because the other had slandered him as being a playboy, but as a result, Song Yan, who had originally been eating frog legs so well suddenly choked, and lowered his head as he abruptly coughed.

Xia Zhiye hurriedly pushed a cup of water over, and helped to pat his back: “Eat slowly, no one’s going to steal it from you.”

“That’s right, there are still so many.” Shang Huai extended his chopsticks into the pot and stirred it around, but suddenly discovered a big problem, “Hey, that’s not right! I ordered 8 bullfrogs, how come there’s no more!”

Zhou Ziqiu pointed with his chopsticks, indicating towards the sea of bones in front of Song Yan: “They were all picked out by Xia Zhiye and sent over here.”

“That’s still not right. Based on my many years of experience eating bullfrogs, there definitely aren’t 8 here.” Shang Huai didn’t believe it, and once again picked up the serving chopsticks, and picked out each bone and joined them together.

He joined them proficiently and with focus.

Soon, he slapped the table: “Look, I ordered 8 bullfrogs, now, there are 10 backs, but there are only 16 leg bones! Where are the other 16 bones! This supermarket is too despicable! I have to take a photo for evidence, and go argue with him!”

Shang Huai’s face was indignant with injustice, as if he had suffered extraordinary shame and humiliation.

To the extent that Shen Jiayan couldn’t quite understand: “Is it worth it. It’s just a few bullfrogs, if it’s not enough, just order a few more.”

“It’s not a problem of whether or not it’s enough, it’s about cheating. This is dishonesty, and is an issue with their principles. If you don’t believe me, ask Lord Xia. If someone deliberately deceives him, he won’t even be friends with that person.”

Shen Jiayan turned to look at Xia Zhiye.

Song Yan, who had just finished coughing, and who had been in the midst of lifting his cup to drink a sip of water to soothe his throat, heard this statement, and his movements unconsciously paused, as if he was also holding his breath while in wait for Xia Zhiye’s answer.

Meanwhile, Xia Zhiye had just been in the midst of peeling a mint for Song Yan, answered carelessly: “It’s true. Especially a boy pretending to be a girl while online dating, that really is too much.”

Shen Jiayan: “……”

Song Yan: “……”

Shen Jiayan was sure Xia Zhiye was implicating himself, and he dared to be angry yet was helpless to say anything.

And Song Yan only silently put down his cup.

Anyway he also didn’t say he was a girl with his own mouth, so as long as he didn’t deceive Xia Zhiye into online dating, then he couldn’t be considered a liar.

After all, who said that [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady] was definitely a girl?

He, Song Yan, was open-hearted.

.

The author has something to say:

You didn’t deceive him into online dating, but he will deceive you into online dating!

TN: poor SH he’s gonna lose his wife

1. An idiom to express overcoming all obstacles to complete the task

2. Steel straight man is meant to refer to someone who is very straightforward. ie: doesn’t know when a girl likes him, if he doesn’t like someone will say it straight up, etc.

3. Grade flower = the best looking girl in the grade

4. Silk banners often have idioms written on them in fancy calligraphy. Meant to be an art piece/a prosperous item.

5. A hot pan is often used as a metaphor for being in trouble.