Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 33

Beautiful and Rich Little Lady: Gege is the best!

His body temperature was measured, 36.5°C.

The doctor glanced at him: “Isn’t this quite normal?”

Song Yan’s expression was calm, as if he was having a scientific discussion: “But before, my heartbeat suddenly sped up, and in the middle, there was even a point where my heart skipped a beat, so is there any possibility that my heart rate isn’t normal.”

The doctor once again glanced at the chart on the computer: “Your heart is as healthy as a cow’s.”

“But……”

“That’s enough, little classmate, don’t think too much. Now, your entire body from top to bottom is very healthy. If you sleep too long and then suddenly get up, or if your mood is excited, then it’s normal for your heart rate to speed up. Don’t scare yourself. Rest a bit more, then you can go handle your discharge from the hospital.”

After the doctor finished speaking, he leaned over to coax the small child in the neighboring bed, who had been crying so loudly their lungs could burst, out of their fear of needles. It seems the doctor really believed there was nothing wrong with him.

Song Yan: “……”

But he really had an abnormal heart rate just now.

So if what the doctor said is true, and he clearly didn’t have the situation where he sat up suddenly, then the only other possibility was that he was emotionally excited.

And his excited mood appeared after Xia Zhiye said that he had pulled the other’s hand and called the other ‘Ye gege’.

And that means……

His sudden accelerated heartbeat was because he had been angered by Xia Zhiye.

After all, just imagining that scenario made him want to kill himself out of shame, and just hearing those words, he knew that Xia Zhiye was just arbitrarily flirting, so it was all that huge idiot, Xia Zhiye’s fault.

After reaching this conclusion, Song Yan’s leg kicked out to strike a certain huge idiot: “Go away, stop sticking so close to me.”

After saying this, he wrapped himself up in his blanket and turned over, leaving Xia Zhiye with the view of his cold and heartless head.

Xia Zhiye who had been kicked without warning: “?”

What happened this time?

Before, hadn’t Song Yan blushed and felt his heart skip a beat because he had been moved by Xia Zhiye? How could he become hostile just like that?

Could it be……

Song Yan realized his racing heartbeat wasn’t because of his body, but because the other had been emotionally affected by him?

It had to be true, just look at how red those little ears were.

But it was fine if he was emotionally affected, why act shy, and even put on such a cold and stiff expression, how contradictory.

Seems he has to be more active in the future, who allowed his future boyfriend to be such a tsundere.

As a result, in the hospital room, after a handsome high schooler was inexplicably kicked, he unexpectedly revealed a happy and strange smile on his face.

Meanwhile, the other high schooler, whose body temperature had returned to normal, was bundled up in thick blankets and felt it was entirely too warm in a physical sense, causing his ears and palms to feel hot and sweaty. So exactly which idiot wrapped him up in such a thick woolen coat today.

.

Under this strange atmosphere, wherein the two high schoolers were clearly not on the same wavelength, yet had some kind of tacit understanding, the two completed the procedures and left the hospital.

Xia Zhiye originally wanted to take Song Yan back to Wine Alley to live for two days, but Song Yan didn’t want to bother grandma Liu, and he also didn’t bring a change of clothes or anything like that, so they directly returned to the dorms.

After showering, the dull and sticky layer that had developed on his skin due to his fever and sweat was washed away, and his entire body immediately felt much better and more relaxed. But after changing out of his dirty clothes and tossing them into the wash basin, Song Yan felt as if he wanted to go back and lay down in the hospital again.

He stood next to the sink and numbly stared at the clothes in the washbasin, while the clothes in the washbasin laid in the water and pitifully stared back at him.

After staring for three seconds, Song Yan expressionlessly pulled over an extra bedsheet, covered the basin, and pretended that if he didn’t see it, then the dirty clothes in the basin didn’t exist. Then he blankly turned around, and got onto his bed.

From beginning to end, his expression had been noble yet aloof and indifferent. Others wouldn’t be able to see his childish behavior from his expression.

Yet Xia Zhiye laid on the upper bunk, and as long as he looked down, he was able to see the entire scene of avoiding laundry clearly.

Who would have thought, the No.1 fearless, wild brother of NanWu’s No.3 Middle High, classmate Song Yan, was unexpectedly scared of doing laundry?

But that was fine. His mother had said before that in a household, it was fine as long as one person was responsible for doing household chores. The other could just be responsible for looking pretty and acting spoiled.

Song Yan acted spoiled.

Cute.

Xia Zhiye lowered his head with satisfaction, then continued browsing through a mysterious and omnipotent orange software1 on his phone.

After browsing throughout the entire platform, he was finally satisfied.

He pressed on the customer service, and sent a link: [Does the delivery include installation]

The TaoBao customer service agent replied quickly: [Hello dear, I’m here. The model that you’re looking at is the best single washing machine in our store that has an automatic dryer, and has anti-bacterial, anti-mite capabilities. It’s originally 6899, but now there’s a promotion with a 20% discount, and you can purchase it for 5520. Our shop includes free delivery and installation, dear]

Xia Zhiye browsed for so long, and this was the only one that satisfied all of his needs.

Because the balcony in the dorms was only so big, convincing the dorm aunty to let him install a single-size laundry machine had already required an entire afternoon of flattery, and he couldn’t buy a larger size.

But single-sized washing machines usually didn’t have comprehensive functions, and couldn’t match young master Song’s expensive lifestyle habits. Ones that were both small and comprehensive were usually more expensive, so finding one that was suitable in all aspects was already not easy.

It’s just that for now, Xia Zhiye’s total assets only amounted to 5023 yuan and 8 cents. Even if the other party included shipping, he was still short 500 yuan.

Xia Zhiye asked: [Are there any other discounts]

Customer service: [Dear, this is already the lowest price we can offer. I guarantee that we have the lowest price on the internet, so we can’t lower the price anymore. But seeing as you’re a new customer, we can send you a few complimentary gifts of our newest products]

Xia Zhiye copied the name of the product, searched it up, and found it really was the lowest priced product on the internet.

He himself wasn’t a particularly picky person, but he always felt that he couldn’t just randomly make do with something that he bought for Song Yan, so after thinking, he asked: [When will the promotion end]

Customer service: [It ends tomorrow at noon, dear]

Then he still has time.

Xia Zhiye exited TaoBao, and opened [Lawless Land]

[World’s No.1 Handsome Scum]: Ten years of bitter studies by a cold window, to enter the golden honor roll2. There are only 22 days left until the joint midterm examination. If you don’t make an effort now, what other time will you? If you buy the learning materials one day later than the others, then you’ll be ruthlessly left behind tomorrow. And I am willing to accompany every single person’s lonely and fearless sprint towards the exam, so there will be a discount on the last day, is there anyone out there.

[Can’t choose a name 1]: Handsome god, there’s no one, really no one. There are only so many people in this group, and they’ve all been pressured by you

[Can’t choose a name 2]: That’s right, the weak students aren’t interested at all, and the outstanding students all went to buy Like god’s upgraded texts. Meanwhile there’s no one left from the rest of us in the middle of the pack

[Can’t choose a name 3]: Or you can try Like god’s approach of seizing the market of outstanding students

[Like]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 3]: ……Sorry, I’ve bothered you. I’ll leave, you guys discuss slowly.

On the Shura field, the audience stood in a circle and watched as the fight between the two huge learning crocodiles in NanWu city, Xiacheng district to seize the market nearly began to surge like a gathering storm.

Then they watched as the person with the profile picture of a scene subculture youth sent an emoji of a little yellow chicken making finger hearts3.

[World’s No.1 Handsome Scum]: Like god, are you interested in buying learning materials? I’ll give you a 50% discount [shy shy/]

[Can’t choose a name 3]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 1]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 2]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 3]: Handsome god might’ve gone crazy.

[Can’t choose a name 2]: It’s almost as if I’ve seen the grandpa from KFC walk into McDonald’s to ask the chef if he wanted to buy a serving of Colonel chicken nuggets.

[Can’t choose a name 1]: In a nutshell, he’s asking for a fight

The audience was filled with incomparable expectation for a beautiful and vicious counterattack from the emerging business in the field of learning materials in response to the trade war.

Then they saw as the profile picture of a blank white screen send out a single, short word: [Buy]

[Can’t choose a name 1]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 2]: ?

[Can’t choose a name 3]: ?

[World’s No.1 Handsome Scum]: I’ll dm you, finger hearts [kisses/]

[Can’t choose a name 1, 2, 3]: ……

What happened to the trade war?

Why was the world suddenly filled with love?

Could it be that the world of learning tyrants was clean and refined, and free from fame and fortune?

A feeling of admiration that came out of nowhere seemed to bubble up in their hearts.

And only Like himself knew that it was purely because he was an idiot.

After being hospitalized, his remaining bank savings didn’t even add up to 2000, yet he still inexplicably gave a certain someone 200 yuan to buy a set of learning materials that he had absolutely no use for.

He really was sick.

After they reached an agreement with the business deal, Song Yan gazed at his pitiful bank savings, coldly exited Alipay, and prepared to shut off his phone.

Then the second before his screen turned black, the accompanying others to play app promptly sent over a message.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: Are you there? Do you have time? Let’s play?

Song Yan: “……”

Did Xia Zhiye want to scramble for money today?

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: How many rounds?

[Pure and Good-Looking Male high School Student Accompanying to Play Online]: Up to you, we can play as much as you want, even if you want to play until tomorrow morning.

Song Yan: “……”

This was the first time he’s encountered Xia Zhiye with such a warm attitude while accompanying to play.

Although he was the golden master and Xia Zhiye was the laborer, in the past, there were countless times when he basically had to take the initiative to find Xia Zhiye. This was the first time that Xia Zhiye actively engaged with him.

It seems Xia Zhiye really urgently needed money.

But didn’t he just make several thousand yuan selling learning materials?

Even if he were saving money to confess, it was still set for Christmas eve, and there were still two months until then. He shouldn’t be that anxious, unless he wanted to give the other a two carat engagement ring, but Song Yan continued thinking, and felt it was impossible.

So could it be that he encountered some difficulties?

Song Yan wanted to ask, but was also scared that if he directly asked, not only would he not figure out the reason why, but he might also expose his identity.

After a bit of deliberation, he copied Shen Jiayan’s manner of speaking when the other acted as a girl, and with a cold face, he replied: [(∩_∩) Gege is so enthusiastic today, did something happy happen today~]

Xia Zhiye’s principle has always been that he only accompanied others to play. He wouldn’t chat, and would only sell his skills, not his spirit.

But buying a laundry machine for Song Yan was imminent, and the study materials market was saturated. Zhou Ziqiu was also penniless after pooling money to send Shang Huai to Beijing, and this little rich lady became his only hope of making money steadily, so he couldn’t offend her.

So for Song Yan, he could only temporarily wrong his pure and clean soul.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: Mhm, the person I like gave me a gift.

Song Yan laid on the lower bunk, and could see the smiling expression that jumped out from the chat window. His fingers paused for a moment. He was with Xia Zhiye everyday, how come he didn’t know that someone sent Xia Zhiye a gift?

But it had been so long, and Xia Zhiye didn’t even tell him who he liked, why would the other tell him who sent him a gift.

After all, the other had no obligation to be like a roommate, and report the progress of his love.

Thinking this, Song Yan’s face grew twice as cold, and his fingers resumed their quick movements: [Wow! How amazing! Then gege has to cheer up (^ധ^)]

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: Mhm, so I’m lacking money.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: ?

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: I want to send a gift in return, but now I’m still lacking 300 yuan, which just happens to be the cost of 15 rounds, do you have time?

So it’s like that.

No wonder he’d degrade himself to take the initiative to find the golden master. Turns out it was for the person he liked.

It seems that Xia Zhiye probably really did like this girl, or else he wouldn’t expend so much effort and take all this trouble to wrong himself.

The corner of Song Yan’s lips unconsciously pursed slightly.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: I have time ya4! But gege, you treat the person you like so well, is she a super good person ya! (curious kitty)

Once he sent this sentence, Song Yan felt a bit regretful.

He had no reason to ask this. The person Xia Zhiye liked had nothing to do with him.

He was just about to unsend the message, when Xia Zhiye on the other side had already replied.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: Mhm, he’s especially good, is handsome, has good grades, a good family, and is also particularly kind and softhearted, so dim-witted and is super easy to deceive, but isn’t aware that he’s easy to deceive, so every time he’ll be sharp-tongued and unwilling to admit it, but as long as you pretend to be pitiful, he’ll immediately be fooled.

It was the first time since Song Yan acted as [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady] that he saw Xia Zhiye send such a long message, and you could see the love that couldn’t be suppressed in between the rows of characters.

Even though Song Yan was separated by a bed, he could imagine the expression that Xia Zhiye had at that exact moment on the upper bunk. His peach blossom eyes were definitely a little curved, his eyebrows slightly raised, and his pupils were completely filled with what looked like a casual lack of discipline, when in actuality it was an indulgent smile.

Also he just learned that Xia Zhiye actually likes this kind of honest, softhearted, sweet, naive, person, and it must have bothered him to make friends with someone as cold-hearted, hard-hearted, loathsome, and intelligent as Song Yan.

Really wronged him.

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: Then gege has to cheer up! You’re the best!

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: Am I the best?

I’m the best.

Originally, he wanted to show off his literary excellence and ask a rhetorical question, but before he could send those three words, Xia Zhiye saw [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady] quickly reply with a sentence: [Of course you’re the best!]

[Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: You’re tall, handsome, your grades are good, and both your temperament and temper are pretty good, how can you not be the best!

Tall, handsome, and have good grades?

Xia Zhiye raised his eyebrows a bit, deleted the words written in the chat box, and typed anew: [I can understand the temperament and temper, but how can you tell I’m tall, handsome, and have good grades?

Song Yan: “……”

Fuck, he was careless.

He could only harden his scalp and reply: [Obviously I guessed! Before, when playing games, I heard gege’s voice when commanding the team, and it sounded so good! It’s definitely the voice of a handsome brother! Also, gege’s skill when playing games is so good, you’re definitely super smart, and smart people have good grades [finger heart/], I’m gege’s biggest fan!]

After he sent this, Song Yan’s entire face had already turned completely red. He tossed his phone to the side, and buried his head deep into his covers.

Fuck.

Too fucking shameful.

How could Shen Jiayan usually act like this.

Fortunately, he had the cover of a sockpuppet. If by any chance, someone knew he said such disgusting words, Song Yan felt he might as well die.

He completely didn’t want to look at their chat records, but his phone vibrated again, and he had no choice but to pick it up again.

After picking up his phone and checking the message, he immediately choked on his breath.

[Pure and Good-Looking Male High School Student Accompanying to Play]: Don’t be too moved, and don’t fall in love with me, there’s no point. This famous grass has its owner, and the pine can’t move the earth5. Our relationship is purely for leveling up, otherwise you’re on your own.

Song Yan: “……”

Shame. Less.

He was so angered that he raised his leg and kicked the upper bed.

Xia Zhiye who had been laying on the bed and minding his business, was suddenly kicked from below, and he stared blankly: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just that I saw a cockroach above me, and wanted to kill it.”

Xia Zhiye: “……?”

It was already autumn, were there still cockroaches?

It might just be that Song Yan, the northerner, never saw bugs from the south.

Xia Zhiye didn’t think too much about it, then lowered his head to send another sentence to [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady]: [So did you want to play today, 15 rounds, I’ll carry you to glory]

What fucking glory.

But no matter how angry, or how uncomfortable he felt in his heart, Song Yan still planned to help Xia Zhiye pool together money for a gift, so with a sour look, he clicked on the game link, and entered.

Then, probably because he was angered into dizziness, when entering, he habitually chose WeChat to register.

Then Xia Zhiye, who had been nicely laying on his upper bed, watched as [YAN] suddenly appeared in the black room he opened, and slowly typed out a question mark.6

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The author has something to say:

Xia Zhiye: My wife loves me so much.

TN: please help sy omg, the second hand embarrassment is too much

1. The software is supposed to be the Taobao app, which is an online shopping platform.

2. This is an idiom meant to describe the hard years of study before a student takes the gaokao, in order to enter the ‘golden honor roll’ aka the top schools.

3. Making a heart by using one’s thumb and index finger, see here.

4. There’s no english equivalent, but it’s just a cutesy way to speak

5. Essentially means that XZY already has a partner/S.O

6. For context, I believe the situation is this: when accompanying to play, either person (buyer/seller) sends the other a link to enter a ‘black room’ which is a way to play as a team with the other person. So XZY sends SY a link to enter a room so they can play together, but when clicking the link to enter the game, SY accidentally uses his WeChat to enter the room, which is why [YAN] shows up and not [Beautiful and Rich Little Lady].