Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 4

Maybe it was because he was usually unfilial towards Song Minhai, so he was forced into exile in Nan Wu to receive the punishment that was Xia Zhiye.

With his own eyes, he watched as Xia Zhiye pulled out a key and opened the door to 616 skillfully. He even pulled out a student ID with the name “Xia Zhiye” written on it from a drawer, and Song Yan could already feel the air surrounding him directly liquify into nitrogen.

Xia Zhiye tossed his own pillow and blanket on top, then took the bedding that Song Yan had not arranged yet down to the bottom bed: “It’s inconvenient for your legs, so just sleep on the bottom for now.”

Song Yan stood still at the door.

Xia Zhiye tilted his head: “What’s wrong? You’re dissatisfied with being under me?”

Song Yan: “……”

From day to night, this person could only say nonsense.

“I’m not used to sleeping in other people’s beds.”

“Hm, then let me see you hop up there on one leg.”

“……”

Fucking hop.

Xia Zhiye laughed a bit: “Ok, don’t scorn my bed. I just bought the bed sheets and bedding. They’re new, clean.”

It was already said to this degree, if he continued to argue, he would appear unreasonable.

But Song Yan was used to being waited upon by housekeepers since he was a child. Even if he occasionally lived at school, the aunties would come by to wash his clothes and clean the bed sheets at a fixed time. Now he was suddenly on his own, and his current living situation was greatly inferior to his former place, and his leg was even injured, it seemed everything was against him.

By all possible means, the comforter was unwilling to be obediently tucked into the bed cover, and after messing around for half a day, the comforter and bed cover became tangled up into a ball.

Song Yan had no more patience, and tossed it away with disdain. The unhappiness in his eyes and brows vividly exposed the bad temper of this young master in great detail.

Xia Zhiye leaned against the headboard and watched for half a day, and couldn’t help but lower his head and laugh a bit.

He walked over, unfolded the ball of bedding, skillfully fiddled with it a few times, then raised it to shake it out, and everything became smooth and snug.

After laying it on the bed, he lazily said: “Later if you encounter something you can’t do, remember to ask someone for help, that’s what your mouth is for.”

It’s fine if my mouth can just eat.

With a wooden face, Song Yan leaned against the wall and hobbled into the bathroom.

Each room in No.3 Middle High’s dorm had its own bathroom, so Song Yan could avoid the most embarrassing and most troublesome matter.

However after changing his clothes, it was normal for him to toss his dirty clothes into a laundry basket, but soon realized the area was empty. His irritated mood once again arose – there was no aunty to wash his clothes at fixed intervals and he had to do things by himself.

The more Song Yan thought about it, the more irritated he became.

After he finished showering, he randomly rubbed his chin, and placed his underwear into a black garbage bag to be disposed of. The clothes that weren’t underwear were stuffed into another bag, and he planned to take them to the dry cleaners tomorrow.

He was then too lazy to dry his hair, and directly laid down on his bed and plugged his phone in to charge.

Once he turned on his phone, Shen Jiayan’s messages and unanswered calls burst forth, and Song Yan just realized he called Shen Jiayan before under the guise of calling the police.

His fingertips shifted, and he replied with a single sentence: [I’m fine.]

He received a reply in a second.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Fuck, you scared me. I almost called the police. But I thought about it, and if there really was a situation, wouldn’t it be weird if you called me. So I didn’t call the police.

[YAN]: Not bad, you’re self aware.

[The Sweetest Little Milk Strawberry in the World]: Anyways, you met that Xia Zhiye this afternoon? What is that idiot like? Is he really like the 2 meter tall, 8 pack abs, chain smoking, hair-dyed, black-bellied dragon, with over forty girlfriends they say he is in rumors?

The word “rumor” hadn’t been sent out yet when the bathroom door creaked open.

Song Yan raised his head to look, and just so happened to see Xia Zhiye’s body surrounded by steam, walking out while wiping his hair.

He had just showered, and was only wearing a pair of loose, gray, pajama bottoms. His upper body was bare and under the light his skin appeared fair and healthy. He had wide shoulders, a thin waist, and long legs, thoroughly revealing a superior body. He even had a faint mermaid line, as well as neat 8-pack abs.

While drying his hair, he noticed Song Yan’s stare, and he raised his eyebrow: “What’s up, are you stunned breathless by your desk mate’s perfect body?”

Song Yan: “……”

Stunned breathless my ass.

With a ‘pa,’ he directly slapped the hanging lamp at the head of the bed, leaving that perfect body alone in the darkness.

Then he expressionlessly replied to Shen Jiayan: [It’s real, especially the fact that he’s an idiot.]

.

Although Xia Zhiye was a bit dumb, his temper was very good. He lowered his head and laughed, but didn’t bicker with Song Yan.

His sleeping posture was also pretty good, he not only didn’t snore or grind his teeth, but he also didn’t toss and turn in bed, as if he made no noise at all.

The heat during summer months subsides in a dull and slow manner, like a suffocating tide.

Song Yan counted a few thousand sheep, but was still unable to sleep.

He finally sat up in bed, and hopped on one leg towards his suitcase, rummaging through it to find his medication.

After searching for a while, he was unable to find that familiar bottle of sleep aid, and it appeared that when he was packing up, he forgot to bring it.

That medication was imported from abroad, and as a minor, he was unable to buy it outside.

Thinking up to here, Song Yan became increasingly moody and impatient.

After arriving at Nan Wu, he hadn’t met a single bearable person, or a single bearable event.

He resignedly shut his suitcase, and prepared to turn back, and just so happened to bump into Xia Zhiye who had climbed down from the upper bed.

It was clear this person was already deeply asleep, as his eyes weren’t even open after getting up, and he made a beeline for the bathroom. While en route to the bathroom, he clearly did not see Song Yan, and it saved him the trouble of explaining himself.

Song Yan returned directly to bed, covered himself up with the blanket, and continued to count sheep.

He only counted a few sheep when the blanket behind him was clearly pressed down, trapping him in. It was directly followed by a warmth, and a heavy arm pinning him down.

“?”

Song Yan turned his head to look, and just happened to Xia Zhiye’s face magnified 365 times with no gap in coverage.

“……”

Even breaths, a peaceful expression, as if he were a handsome sculpture.

Song Yan coolly and ruthlessly pushed down the arm, and then forcefully slapped the face twice: “Wake up, you’re in the wrong bed.”

Xia Zhiye didn’t move an inch.

Song Yan impatiently kicked out his leg again: “Wake up!”

Xia Zhiye remained motionless.

Song Yan was livid, and considered pushing the other off along with his blanket, but just when he sat up, Xia Zhiye buried his head into Song Yan’s neck and rubbed against it: “Mom, don’t move, I’m sleepy.”

Song Yan: “……”

Who’s your mom.

How about he directly toss this person down from the sixth floor.

However, probably because the light coming in from the window was too gentle, when it landed on Xia Zhiye’s drooping, long and thick lashes, his entire profile seemed to appear soft and docile.

His shaggy head softly rubbed against the skin of his neck, as if he were a harmless and clingy big dog.

At that moment, Song Yan, who had smothered his impatience for an entire day, felt an emotion closely approaching that of helplessness.

He silently stared for three seconds: “……”

Forget it, it is everyone’s duty to protect and cherish animals.

Thus he once again resigned himself, and laid back down into his nest of blankets with his back facing Xia Zhiye.

The person behind him seized the opportunity to place his arm on Song Yan’s waist.

Song Yan left it alone, wrapped himself in his blankets, shut his eyes, and despairingly thought What does he care, if he sleeps then he sleeps, if not then forget it.

The exceedingly close Xia Zhiye made it feel especially warm and sticky. His sense of helplessness brought along a great sense of fatigue that slowly passed through his nerve endings, along with the smell of some kind of citrus shampoo, and together it gradually paralyzed the irritability and troubles brought about from earlier in the day.

.

The next morning, the two were awoken by a burst of frantic knocking at the door.

Song Yan was hard to wake, and he furrowed his eyebrow and covered his head with the blanket, continuing to sleep.

Xia Zhiye stood up and opened the door, and impatiently said to the two people outside the door: “What are you so desperate for.”

“What are you talking about, Shang Huai and I are just afraid you’ll oversleep, then be late, and then get scolded by Liu Deqing.”

“That’s right, Zhou Ziqiu and I are doing this with kind intentions, definitely not because we wanted to come borrow manhua this early in the morning.”

Xia Zhiye began hanging out with these two in middle school, and knew their moral integrity too well. He was too lazy to even roll his eyes, and just moved aside: “Go look for it yourself, then get out.”

“Yessir, thank you grandpa Xia!”

The two broke down the door and entered, making a beeline towards their target destination. But they stopped in front of Xia Zhiye’s bed – because under Xia Zhiye’s blanket, they saw a section of a leg.

A section that was thin, pale, and straight.

The leg was straight and delicately thin, the ankle bone was exquisite and piercingly cold. When compared to the dark gray color of the bedsheet, the skin appeared fragile and pure white, and when tangled in the soft bed sheets, it allowed one’s imagination to run wild.

Zhou Ziqiu couldn’t help but be bitter: “Xia Zhiye, how could you be like this!”

Shang Liang’s anger was clear: “That’s right! How could you bring a girl back to the dorms!”

“Don’t you know that on some literature site1 minors aren’t allowed to have sexual relations!”

“You even dare to have this kind of immoral behavior in real life!”

“This is simply not taking responsibility for one another!”

“You even ruthlessly trample on pure and clean love!”

The two were impassioned, speaking ferociously out of righteousness, as if they were itching to drown Xia Zhiye in a wicker basket2.

Then the blanket was lifted open, revealing a delicate and beautiful, yet severe enough to silence one on the spot, face: “Who the fuck is a girl.”

Shang Liang: “……”

Zhou Ziqiu: “……”

Although most male faces indeed couldn’t look like this, but it really was a boy.

The two simultaneously turned to look at Xia Zhiye, their faces full of shock: “Lao Xie, you would go as far as to like this type?!”

Xia Zhiye: “……”

Song Yan: “……”

There are idiots every year, but it seems this year there are more than usual.

Xia Zhiye smacked each of their heads’ once: “What kind of yellow waste3 are you guys putting into your heads every day. This is the new transfer in our class, Song Yan. He lives in the same dorm as me. He sprained his ankle, so I lent him my bed.”

Shang Liang just happened to glance at Song Yan’s other leg covered in a cast, then sighed in relief, and patted his chest: “That’s good, that’s good. I was scared to death. I was even thinking if you really did like this type, then I would have to question whether our long standing friendship was pure or not.”

“Fuck off. Even if laozi were gay, I wouldn’t be attracted to guys like you.” Xia Zhiye kicked each of them out, “Remember to get me breakfast, two servings.”

After he finished speaking, with a ‘thump’ he closed the door. He turned his head towards Song Yan and said: “Let’s go. Get up and get ready, I’ll take you to school.”

.

Although the distance between the dormitories and the school building was only a few hundred meters, but because of Song Yan’s injury as well as the condition of the roads in Nan Wu city, it became as difficult as winning the battle of Flying over the Luding Bridge4.

On top of that, the location of the dorms was too hidden, and you couldn’t call a cab even if you wanted. By the time the two of them arrived at school, they were already twenty minutes late.

Liu Deqing stood at the school entrance, saw Xia Zhiye from far away, and immediately began to shout: “Why is it you again! You’re already late on the first day of school, do you even care about me, the director of the school? What about the rules and regulations of the school? Self reflection! You must write a self reflection! Write a thousand…… oh, classmate Song Yan? How come you’re also here?”

“Injured my leg, Xia Zhiye’s helping me.”

“Oh, it’s like that, then that’s fine. Between classmates, you should help each other out and have a sense of camaraderie. Xia Zhiye, not bad. Teacher orally commends you. Why don’t you hurry up and head to class then.”

“Okay, thank you director Liu.”

Xia Zhiye supported Song Yan to hobble towards the classroom.

Song Yan asked: “What are you laughing at.”

Xia Zhiye: “Nothing, just that director Liu is worthy of learning Sichuan opera5.”

“?”

“His face changes so well.”

“……”

It really was quite good.

But it was also probably because Tan Qing bribed him well.

But unfortunately, not everyone was as adept at changing as Liu Deqing.

The first class was math class, and the math teacher was called Luo Wei, a bad-tempered old man over fifty years old. Seeing as the class was nearly over when the two just slowly arrived, he immediately grew angry.

Regardless of whatever injury or not, he raised his voice, broke a set square6, and scolded the two for five minutes. He finally ended with a line of ‘one self reflection from each of you, five hundred words each’ and allowed them to return to their seats.

They just arrived at their seats, and hadn’t even warmed up their seats when another shout came: “Xia Zhiye! Where’s your summer homework!”

“Reporting to the teacher, I finished it.”

“If you finished it then hand it in!”

“After I finished it, I lost it.”

“……”

Luo Wei felt that his thirty years of experience as a teacher was insulted, and while pointing his hand at the door: “The both of you stand outside! Add another five hundred words to your self reflection! You’re not allowed to return until you finish writing it!”

The innocent and unjustly attacked Song Yan: “?”

He resolved to save himself: “Teacher, I only have one good leg.”

“Go stand with your one leg!”

“?”

“You’ve never heard of the golden rooster standing on one leg7?”

“……”

That’s fine.

The pair that just entered the classroom once again helped each other to walk outside.

The scene was quite sad.

Song Yan felt that Xia Zhiye not doing his homework was fine, after all, all bad boys don’t do their homework, but when telling lies you should be a bit more reasonable, so as not to anger the old man like this.

He blankly took out a pen and notebook from his bag, leaned it on the window sill, preparing to start writing. Xia Zhiye next to him poked him.

“Just spit it out.” Song Yan didn’t even raise his head.

Xia Zhiye: “Lend me a pen and paper.”

“Where’s yours?”

“I lost it.”

Song Yan raised his head, and found both of Xia Zhiye’s shoulders were empty: “Where’s your backpack?”

“Probably still at that noodle cart.”

Song Yan then realized, to bring him to the hospital yesterday night, Xia Zhiye only brought Song Yan’s bag, and didn’t bring his own bag.

So the fact that Xia Zhiye lost his homework was actually real.

Also if it weren’t for his injury, Xia Zhiye also wouldn’t have been late this morning.

Song Yan turned his head, his expression cold: “I’ll help you write yours.”

“Don’t.” Xia Zhiye helped himself to Song Yan’s pencil case to take out a pen, and pulled out a sheet of paper in passing, “Our handwritings are different, if we go back and get found out by old Luo, we’d have to write another, so it’s better if I write it myself. Also……”

Xia Zhiye was rarely serious.

Song Yan tilted his head: “Also what?”

“Also the thing about writing a self reflection, in the entirety No.3 Middle High, only I can recognize the second place but no one else dares to recognize the first place8. If you help me write it, you definitely can’t write with my level of elegance, and you’ll damage my dignity in these literary circles.”

“……”

Song Yan vowed, if he believes Xia Zhiye will be serious again, then he himself is an idiot.

.

The two had no interest in the math class, and stood in the corridor. Even when class ended, they had not finished writing the five hundred character reflection.

While clasping the pen and spinning it around, and enjoying the scenery of No.3 Middle High, someone from behind timidly called out “Ye ge.”

He turned around, and saw a thin and small boy with extremely large eyes.

Song Yan felt that he looked a bit familiar, but also couldn’t think of where exactly they could have met.

Xia Zhiye glanced at the boy, placed down the pen, and lazily said: “Let’s go, talk over there.”

Song Yan always had the belief of “minding your own business, minding my own business,” and was always uninterested in others’ business. But his sense of hearing had been sharp since he was a child, so even if he didn’t want to listen, the pair’s conversation inevitably entered his ear.

The boy seemed to be called Zhang Mianmian, and his voice was very small: “Ye ge, my mom told me, yesterday night that group of people came again to cause trouble. It’s all thanks to you.”

Xia Zhiye didn’t seem to mind: “Not a big deal.”

“Oh, also, you left your bag at our noodle cart, everything inside got wet, so after drying it out today I’ll return it at school.”

“Mm, thank aunty for me.”

“Then if there’s nothing else, I’ll go back and study.”

“Wait, first take this 80 yuan.”

“No, Ye ge, I can’t keep borrowing money from you.”

“If I tell you to take it, you should take it. It’s fine if you return it to me at the beginning of next month. Or else Liu Yue won’t be able to collect the class fee, and he’ll bother you.”

“……”

“It’s okay, don’t be too sensitive. I’ll go back and write my self reflection.”

“Thank you, Ye ge.”

Song Yan turned the pen tip sluggishly around the same spot.

Turns out Xia Zhiye insisted on bringing him to that noodle cart to eat for this reason.

No wonder he felt this boy was so familiar. Thinking about it now, he and the female boss of the noodle cart seemed to be built from the same mold.

He also remembered Xia Zhiye being blocked by the group of gangsters in front of his house and getting asked to pay up a debt yesterday afternoon, as well as that palm-sized courtyard with the elderly lady and the young orphan girl. Song Yan suddenly felt that this person wasn’t that idiotic.

Although his family background was a bit complicated, and he acted a bit like a bad boy, and his brain circuits were a bit crazy, but at the very least his principles were upright.

So much so that Song Yan felt if Ruan Tian insisted on him helping the other study, then it wasn’t impossible.

After all, knowledge can change one’s fate.

Xia Zhiye, this person, might be salvageable.

While thinking, he tilted his head, and planned to ask if Xia Zhiye had other plans later.

Then while tilting his head, he saw Xia Zhiye’s self reflection in front of him, with flowing characters written on it:

“The rain last night was as heavy as the day when Yiping went to the Lu family to borrow money, and my sharp and beautiful desk mate who was similar to Yiping accidentally lost his thorn in the wind and rain9. So as No.3 Middle High’s most handsome, confident, upright and kind student, I, Xia Zhiye, decided to act courageously, and heroically save this damsel in distress……”

Classmate Song Yiping who accidentally lost his thorn and was even saved by the hero: “……”

He felt the Song Yan thirty seconds ago was probably possessed by grandma Qiong Yao10 to have actually thought that Xia Zhiye could be saved.

Knowledge may be able to change one’s destiny, but it couldn’t produce a medical miracle.

1. Referring to jjwxc, the website this story was posted on. Some 4th wall breaking here.

2. Method of torture/death in ancient China. The person would be forced under a wicker basket in a body of water to be drowned.

3. Yellow waste = pornographic material.

4. The battle of Flying over the Luding Bridge took place at the Luding Bridge. where enemies attempted to remove the slats on the bridge to prevent the People’s Red Army from entering Sichuan province. Soldiers in the Red Army had to hang onto the chain of the bridge and brought their own planks to move forward on the bridge – hence the difficulty with winning the battle. Basically saying because of SY’s injury, the path to school became as difficult as it was in the battle.

5. An important sub-genre in Sichuan opera includes ‘bian-lian’ (变脸) which literally translates into ‘face changing.’ Performers in the opera wear masks that change quickly with a sweep of their arm/rapid movements. XZY is saying director Liu is quick to change his mood.

6. Those triangle rulers used to get precise angles or something – see here

7. A yoga pose – see here

8. XZY is saying he’s the best at writing self reflections in their school. He can judge who’s “second best,” but no one else has the ability to judge who’s “the best.”

9. Lu Yiping is the main character from a famous novel, Misty Rain (烟雨濛濛) adapted into a TV series of the same name as well as a drama, Deep Love and Misty Rain (情深深雨蒙蒙). In the story, Yiping’s father didn’t favor her, so she grew up to be like a hedgehog – hard on the outside but softhearted on the inside. XZY is comparing SY to Lu Yiping as a hedgehog, and saying that SY lost his thorn/spike.

10. Qiong Yao is the author of the novel Misty Rain