Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 45

My waist is good, you can sit as you wish

After a moment, Kong Xiaoxiao reacted and calmly replied: “Wake up, they’ve only known each other for so long, where would they get such a big daughter?”

Little fatty was even more calm: “Xiao jie, you’re the one that should wake up, is that the most important point? The most important point is that they’re two boys, where would they get a daughter?”

“……” Kong Xiaoxiao, “Sorry.”

She was the one that forgot that boys actually couldn’t give birth.

“So exactly what kind of situation do those two have?” Little fatty couldn’t help but ask.

Kong Xiaoxiao said: “I also really want to know.”

So the two of them once again quietly looked out the window towards the stage.

On the stage, Song Yan also wanted to ask exactly what kind of fucking situation this was.

He and Xia Zhiye were just at the time where their physical strength and reaction times were the best. Whatever relay race, throwing hoops, you draw I guess, when comparing their physical strength and intelligence to the corporate drone mothers and fathers who usually worked overtime or stayed up late at night, the pair basically steamrolled the competition, and they easily entered the semifinals.

As long as they entered the semifinals, at worst, they would only receive the sixth place prize. As for whether or not they could win the princess castle that little mahjong liked, it was entirely up to their ranking in the final event.

Song Yan had originally already believed that he had already persuaded himself with psychological reconstruction, and could pretend that this was just a sports competition with an interesting theme.

But by the time they entered the semifinals, and he stood on the stage with Xia Zhiye, each one of them holding little mahjong’s hands with the five other pairs of young parents, all facing the scrutiny and baptism of curious gazes of the little friends below the stage, he still felt extremely ashamed.

So that handsome scowling face nearly shocked the little children in the front row into crying. On the other hand, Xia Zhiye even flirtatiously rushed down the stage to a camera to strike a pose.

The host glanced at this pair of handsome young male students that attracted countless bystanders, and laughed: “These two little students have performed pretty well. As expected, being young is to have strength. I hope that later on, you can continue the struggle. Of course, the other families also have to cheer up, because our final event — rescuing the baby, is very challenging.”

After speaking, a curtain behind the stage fell down, exposing a temporarily built race course in the parent-child amusement park. At the very end of the race course, there was a tall rock climbing wall. At the very top there was a railing, and behind the railing, small tables and chairs were arranged.

The host turned around to introduce it: “Later, our workers will take the children up there to wait for our parents. The parents have to crush each checkpoint, climb to the top of the wall, then converge with their baby. Finally, the first parent to receive the little red flower from the child’s hand will be the one to receive the first place prize. So for your children, I hope the parents will rush forward!”

The host just finished speaking, when a little boy nearby shouted out loud: “Okay! Go daddy! We will definitely be number one! Beat them all! Automan1! Dududududu——”

While dududuing, his head knocked into a pair of slender and straight legs.

Once he raised his, he faced a cold, yet annoyingly handsome face.

That annoyingly handsome faced looked down to look at him: “It’ll be us.”

The little boy: “?”

The handsome face was expressionless: “We’re the one who will be first place.”

The little boy: “……”

The little boy’s parents: “……”

Xia Zhiye: “……”

“Sorry, this person jokes in a more special way.” Xia Zhiye stared as Song Yan and the little boy faced off, the large eyes glared at small eyes, nearly glaring that child into a daze. He pulled the other back promptly, then happily and jokingly asked: “He’s five years old, you’re also five?”

With a wooden face, Song Yan remained quiet.

The victories between men always had nothing to do with age.

Although he had no interest towards these incredibly idiotic parent-child activities, his desire for victories had always been very strong. Seeing as he was already here, there was no way he would lose.

Even if the other party was a five year old child, he still couldn’t lose.

However, he did not expect that the challenge level set by the organizer had not considered the condition of these two young boys.

The first event was a three-footed steeplechase race, and they had the smallest height difference between their four legs so they were able to coordinate well. They led by a wide margin, and had no pressure at all.

Then when they arrived at the second event, they discovered that things weren’t that simple.

The second event was called “Family Pillar”. The so-called pillar was designated to one member of the family, who would do a plank, while the other family member would sit horizontally on top of the pillar while throwing darts. When they threw enough darts through thirty hoops, the ‘pillar’ would be able to stand up.

The other families were one father and one mother, the mother could sit on the father’s back. But the both of them were about 1.8 meters each, how could it be that easy.

But Xia Zhiye didn’t say much, just pulled his sleeves up to his elbow, exposing a slender but powerful arm, then bent over to lie on the ground: “Get on.”

Xia Zhiye’s figure was originally extremely superior. When placed amidst a group of married gentlemen, his shoulders appeared even more broad, his legs longer, and his butt more perky.

……

His butt really was quite perky.

Song Yan also didn’t know why his attention fell on Xia Zhiye’s butt.

Meanwhile, after Xia Zhiye waited a long moment and didn’t receive the other’s response, he turned his head then raised his eyebrows slightly: “What’s wrong, were you distracted by my perfect back view?”

“……Fuck off.” Song Yan expressionlessly picked a fight, “Why are you the one doing the plank?”

“Then will your small physique be able to stand it if a 1.87 meter tall, 145 jin person sat on it?”

Song Yan: “……”

Xia Zhiye chuckled: “Don’t worry, my waist is good, you can sit as you wish.”

Clearly, there was nothing wrong with this phrase if you took it at face value, but when Song Yan heard it, he always felt that there was something strange about it.

But because there were children watching, it wasn’t good to act out a violent scene, so he could only stop his urge to beat Xia Zhiye up. Then with a cold face, he straddled across Xia Zhiye’s back.

No matter how skinny Song Yan was, in any case, he was still a 1.8 meter tall boy. With his frame placed on his back like that, no matter how light, it still wouldn’t be that light. The moment he felt his waist suddenly pushed down, Xia Zhiye immediately tightened up his core muscles.

On the other hand, in order for Song Yan to steady his position and guarantee his accuracy, he pressed against Xia Zhiye’s back with one hand while the other hand held the darts. Both of his legs subconsciously clamped around Xia Zhiye’s waist.

In that moment, Xia Zhiye understood what it meant when ‘the evil we bring upon ourselves is the hardest to bear.’

Clearly, he was at the age where two pieces of wood could start a prairie fire, yet why did he insist on pulling Song Yan to participate in this activity that was originally designed for couples.

And Kong Xiaoxiao, who had unknowingly pulled little fatty into the crowd and to the very front of the stage, shook her head with a face full of gratitude: “Public morals are degenerating every day, truly.”

Little fatty: “……Xiao jie, don’t you feel that the combination of your expression, your actions, and your dialogue are very strange?”

Kong Xiaoxiao gazed steadily at the stage: “What do you know, watch the competition.”

The competition had already entered its climax.

Song Yan’s eyes were accurate and his hands were steady. His hands threw the darts, five flew forward and each hit the hoop. In short order, he was able to hit thirty hoops. While the other pairs were still striving hard and missing, they had already quickly finished the task and rushed forward to the next event.

Then they were completely stumped.

In the third event, the pair had to work together to cross a horizontal bar.

The pair were required to face each other while hugging, then without squatting down, they had to pass under a horizontal bar smoothly without having their bodies touch the bar or the ground aside from their feet.

Xia Zhiye was 1.87 meters tall, and his legs were 117cm tall while the horizontal bar was 110cm tall, there was no way to fathom bringing along Song Yan, who similarly exceeded 1.8 meters in height.

The host also realized the pair’s silence and hesitation, then laughed: “Looks like our two classmates here have encountered a difficult problem. How do you guys plan on crossing this horizontal bar?”

Cross my ass.

Song Yan stared at the horizontal bar in front of him, and understood it at last. This competition was designed for young mothers and fathers to promote family harmony and enhance the affection between the husband and wife. From the very beginning, there was no space for two guys like them.

Then he remembered the promise that he made with little mahjong, and didn’t want her to be like his younger self, who had been let down again and again because adults’ reneged on their promises. He still looked at Xia Zhiye: “How’s your flexibility and core muscle strength?”

“My flexibility is only average, and you’ve seen my core strength just now.”

“……”

Thinking of the way Xia Zhiye had remained immovable while he had sat on Xia Zhiye’s body, Song Yan felt that if he were honest, then Xia Zhiye’s waist strength really was pretty good.

“Then later on I’ll go first, then you follow me. Just hold onto me.” Song Yan understatedly made a decision.

Xia Zhiye glanced at the height of the horizontal bar, then glanced at Song Yan’s height: “Can you do it?”

“You can’t?”

Song Yan replied while side-eyeing the other.

Xia Zhiye: “……”

He found that a certain person’s mouth was a bit sharp today.

He gently grit his teeth, then smiled: “You can try to see if I can do it or not.”

As he said this, he directly reached out to embrace Song Yan’s waist, then firmly placed the other right in front of himself.

Song Yan grew panicked: “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Didn’t you say you can do it? How can you do it if you don’t prepare your work in advance?” Xia Zhiye asked magnanimously, as if he was in the right.

Song Yan: “……”

Fuck.

Sure enough, Xia Zhiye was still quite shameless.

Also, facing each other while sticking so close to each other, allowed him to feel the familiar body warmth and citrus scent on Xia Zhiye’s body. The influence of that extremely preposterous dream from earlier in the day lingered on and floated into view, which made this too fucking awkward.

Song Yan simply wanted to kick Xia Zhiye aside, but he once again thought of the things he had promised little mahjong, so he endured it, then replied with a cold face: “Anyway, I can do it, so if we can’t make it, it means that you weren’t able to do it.”

Xia Zhiye raised his eyebrows: “You don’t want to try it out?”

“?”

Try what.

Song Yan was just about to scold him, when Xia Zhiye replied with a straight face: “If we try this method and we can’t do it, I’ll change to another strategy. Don’t worry.”

“……”

At that moment, Song Yan felt that Xia Zhiye was saying some yellow nonsense and was even pretending to be innocent, but he had no evidence. But with a glance, he watched as the other teams nearly caught up, so he could only first remember this debt, then walked forward to the horizontal bar. With both hands, he tightly gripped the clothing around Xia Zhiye’s waist. Then with his back towards the horizontal bar, he bent his waist backward.

Two teenaged boys bringing a young girl to the parent-child amusement park was originally very dazzling, not to mention these two boys were very handsome and dashing. So it was as if the entire audience’s attention was on them.

Seeing the difficulty of this level, they all began to regret that the two boys were about to stop here, but then they actually saw the thinner boy bending backward slowly.

The youth’s waist had a sense of a frail tenacity that was not quite frail at all, and it moved backwards in an apprehensive arch until it was parallel to the ground. His entire figure looked as if it were a fish that was gently lifted out of a pool of water.

And only the person who lifted up this fish was able to see the charming scenery that onlookers could never see.

The long white neck was stretched back to its extreme, the concave and convex Adam’s apple on the side of the neck revealed ambiguous shadows under the light. His lips slightly opened up unconsciously due to the movement, and his clothes also slightly moved upward, exposing a length of pale and exquisite skin, and thin, yet perfect muscle lines.

Xia Zhiye’s hands supported Song Yan’s waist, the hollow of his palms sticking closely to the skin of Song Yan’s waist. For a moment, he didn’t know whether the other’s body temperature was too low, or if it was because his palms were too warm, but either way, felt that the large difference in body temperatures made his throat roll.

Yet Song Yan didn’t care as much as him, only grasping onto Xia Zhiye’s clothing, then worked hard to have his body turn more flexible so he could bend lower, he nearly reached his limit without any hesitation at all, as if he completely believed in Xia Zhiye’s grip.

When he was able to guarantee that they could completely pass through at this height, he stopped, then called out: “Xia Zhiye.”

“Mhm.”

Xia Zhiye seemed to have no need for the other’s explanation. He widened his stance, then steadily grasped the other’s waist, ensuring that he wouldn’t lose his grip and cause the other to fall to the ground. Then he slowly bent forward to ensure that his height could safely pass under the horizontal bar.

One bent backwards, and was already lowered to his limit, while the other leaned forward, holding the other person’s body, supporting that person’s body weight while simultaneously ensuring their balance and height. Meanwhile, the horizontal bar was less than 2 centimeters taller than Xia Zhiye’s upper body, and at any moment, it could touch his body and fall down.

The onlookers felt so anxious that they began to sweat, while simultaneously feeling puzzled and worried.

Just that with this kind of posture, the both of them were indeed lower than the horizontal bar, but there was no way to move with this kind of curvature of Song Yan’s waist, let alone have the both of them pass under the horizontal bar together.

Now they were in a deadlock. Without moving upwards or downwards, other than worrying helplessly, all it was was just a huge predicament.

Perhaps the two were still too young.

Looks like having long legs is sometimes an irreconcilable fault.

Little fatty just wanted to sight, but he hadn’t yet had time to sigh when his pupils suddenly shook uncontrollable: “What the fuck!”

These two can actually play around like this?!

1. Automan is the main hero in a children’s show in China