Don’t Pretend to be Poor with Me - Chapter 5

Song Yan’s own self reflection was not much better.

“To summarize, classmate Xia Zhiye from my school, due to his willingness to help others out of unity and friendship, and his kindhearted character, was then inadvertently late, and had also accidentally lost his math homework. However, he will complete it fully by tomorrow.

Meanwhile, teacher Luo Wei from my class, did not listen to reason, did not believe the students, and without care for my injury, publicly punished me. He does not have the quality or accomplishment of an outstanding teacher that a contemporary, all-rounded educator should have.

Thus to provide a suggestion, I hope teacher Luo Wei admits his mistakes and corrects his ways, to encourage forward thinking.

The person providing feedback, Song Yan. End of my self reflection.”

After hearing the end of this self reflection, the classroom was completely silent.

The old man over fifty was so angry his entire body was shaking. He used his fingertip to point at Song Yan, trembled violently for half a day, but was unable to form a complete sentence.

Nevertheless, Xia Zhiye was considerate, and attempted to soothe his anger: “Old Luo, let’s not be so hurried. Say it slowly, it’s not bad to apologize at this time.”

Old Luo was nearly directly soothed into embarrassment.

Finally, only after the class representative and class monitor supported him back to the office together, were they able to avoid a tragedy.

The remaining students in the classroom grew rowdy.

“The new student is awesome!”

“To be able to anger old Luo like that, other than Lord Xia, there’s only you. Let me respectfully call you Yan ge.”

“I want to print out this self reflection and repeatedly recite it.”

“Our Yan ge should be considered to be a beauty saving a hero then?”

Song Yan felt that there was something wrong with the brain circuits in this group of people.

Xia Zhiye also didn’t think that his self reflection of ultimate creativity could actually look reasonable and normal when compared to Song Yan’s reflection. It seems that his status as a leading scholar in the literary circle of self-reflections was about to be lost.

He pushed back his chair, turned his head to look at Song Yan with slightly curved eyes: “What, our Yan ge cares about me?”

His voice was relaxed and low, carrying a hint of a smile, very similar to a scumbag flirting.

Song Yan indifferently lowered his head to immerse himself in worksheets: “You’re overthinking. I’m simply upholding justice.”

Xia Zhiye clicked his tongue: “And here I was thinking you were seething with rage for a beautiful woman.”

“Look at yourself in the mirror, how can you be considered a beautiful woman?”

“How could I not?”

He had no idea where Xia Zhiye pulled out a mirror from, who then placed it in front of himself, and smoothed back his hair, exposing a bright and clean forehead, as well as his delicate facial features, turning left and right to gaze at himself.

“I think I do count as one. Look at this little face, these big eyes, this high nose. If I find a rich woman, the monthly income should be at least……”

Slap—

A thick, hard covered notebook was forcefully smacked in front of Xia Zhiye. The violent force interrupted the latter half of his sentence.

“What is this?”

Xia Zhiye tossed aside the mirror, picked up the notebook, and flipped through it.

Song Yan’s gaze was cold: “The previous top scorer of the gaokao1 in Beijing left behind this book summarizing important points.”

“Why are you giving it to me?”

“Within a month, memorize everything in the first forty pages.”

“Why memorize it?”

“Because knowledge can change one’s destiny.”

“Change what destiny?”

“Change the destiny of you going out to sell your body to become a male prostitute.”

“……Look at you, you even dare say you don’t care about me.”

“……”

Slap—

Song Yan finally couldn’t help it, and smacked Xia Zhiye’s head with a book.

.

In high school, other than the answers to tests and the top student’s notebook, the most quickly circulated thing was rumors.

By the time lunch rolled around, all the second years had already heard the glorious achievements of the new, rich second generation student in Class 1 who not only was the commander-in-chief in a group fight on the first day of school and had even injured himself, but had also defended the great school bully and angered the teacher to death.

Zhou Ziqiu gave him a thumbs up: “Worthy of being Lord Xia’s mediator. This method is too similar, that self reflection was written too dangerously.”

Xia Zhiye didn’t bother to look at him: “If Song Yan heard that, you probably won’t live to tomorrow.”

While speaking, he brought out a lunchbox and handed it to the aunty serving lunch: “A big serving of sweet and sour pork, a big serving of white squash with ribs, a big serving of pig trotters, and a big drumstick2.”

Shang Huai couldn’t stop himself from asking: “Lord Xia, are you feeding Song Yan or are you feeding a pig.”

Xia Zhiye: “Have you ever met such a skinny pig?”

Shang Huai: “Nope.”

“Then that’s that. It’s called making up for what you lack3.” Xia Zhiye took back the lunchbox. “Okay, you guys continue eating. I have something to do during the lunch break and need to go out for a bit. If you have nothing to do, go to Class 1 and see if there’s anything inconvenient for Song Yan and help him out.”

“Okay, no problem. But you’re not going to eat with us?” Shang Huai asked.

Xia Zhiye: “Why would I eat with you, Song Yan’s still waiting for me in the classroom.”

After he finished speaking he took the lunch box and left without looking back.

Shang Huai who had been left behind blankly turned to look at Zhou Ziqiu: “Lao Zhou, why do I feel like I’m about to fall out of favor.”

Zhou Ziqiu tenderly patted his head: “Don’t worry, Shang cairen4, you’re overthinking. From the start, you’ve never been in favor, so don’t argue in vain with Song meiren5.”

“But he only knew the lord for a day!”

“Who told him to look so beautiful, making others unreasonable.”

“……”

“Also look at yourself, other than playing games and winning heads6, what else can you do?”

“You’re right. I really can’t compete with that alluring witch.”

Shang Huai bitterly stuffed his mouth with a bite of rice.

Meanwhile the alluring little witch Song in the far away classroom awaiting to be fed, innocently sneezed without knowing anything.

Xia Zhiye accompanied Song Yan to eat lunch, and then left school alone.

“Boss, I’d like to choose a bicycle, one that can easily carry another person.”

The sale of bicycles this year wasn’t too good, and in the middle of the afternoon a customer suddenly showed up, before the boss had even finished eating lunch.

Once he exited, he found a handsome young man wearing a school uniform, and welcomed him in while hurriedly smiling: “Are you buying it to bring around your girlfriend?”

Xia Zhiye felt that it would be too annoying to explain if he said that he, a young man, specifically came to buy a bicycle to bring around another young man.

So he didn’t respond, and just said: “It’s better if it’s steady, so the person sitting behind me is more comfortable. Price isn’t a problem.”

“Okay, no problem. Leave it to me.” The boss entered the store, and quickly pushed out a brand new bicycle, “What do you think about this?”

Xia Zhiye saw the old-fashioned, black frame of the bicycle: “It’s too ordinary.”

The boss pulled out a gray bicycle: “What about this one?”

“It’s still too ordinary.”

The boss couldn’t figure out how a bicycle could not be ordinary.

Xia Zhiye gazed around the store, and then pointed to a corner: “How much is that one?”

“Aiyah, handsome boy, your vision is too good. Now little girls like this kind the best. It’s originally 1200 yuan, but you’re sincere, so I’ll sell it for 980 yuan. And I’ll install a seat pad for free. When you sit it’s guaranteed to be stable, soft, and comfortable. How about it?”

“Fine.” Xia Zhiye considered it for a bit, and emphasized, “The cushion has to be the same color.”

“Yessir! No problem! Scan the QR code7 up front to pay.”

Xia Zhiye opened Alipay.

He scanned the code, tapped, and the screen changed.

Payment failed.

As if he guessed something, he lowered his head to open the bank app on his phone. He saw the two words “already suspended,” and was completely unsurprised.

He knew it, angering Luo Wei into dizziness wouldn’t be so easy to deal with.

Liu Deqing most likely told that old master the situation.

As expected, once he exited the app, a call from the old master came. Xia Zhiye frustratedly answered: “Hello, grandpa.”

“No, this time it’s my fault. It has nothing to do with Song Yan.”

“I already said, I’m not going abroad. It’s useless if you force me to go back.”

“If you want to suspend the card, then suspend it. Anyways, this isn’t the first time.”

“Then that’s it, I’m hanging up. Pay attention to your health.”

After hanging up, the boss had already installed the seat pad. Xia Zhiye pulled out a wad of cash from the pocket of his school uniform, and counted it up. Not too much and not too little, he just happened to have ten pink-colored8 bills, and handed it to the boss: “Is cash okay?”

“No problem, come, I’ll give 20 back. How’s the seat pad?”

“Not bad, thank you boss.”

Xia Zhiye lifted his long legs, and mounted the bike.

He then happened to pass by a stuffed animal handing out fliers: “Sir, do you know anything about financial management?”

Wearing such a thick stuffed animal costume on such a hot and stuffy day was not easy. Xia Zhiye considered it, then smoothly took the flier. Without even looking at it, he stuffed it into the pocket of his pants, then took off for the high school while on his bike.

.

Song Yan had always been someone who never meddled in someone else’s business, so with regards to Xia Zhiye going out during the lunch break, from beginning to end was not in the least bit concerned about his whereabouts.

After school was dismissed in the afternoon, he took out his phone to call a cab, but heard a burst of noise from outside the classroom.

He glanced over, and saw a group of boys wearing blue basketball uniforms walking into the classroom, led by someone who was particularly tall, and the muscles of their arm looked as if it were pumped full of air.

The people beside him also called out “Yue ge” one by one, looking as if he was the idiotic leader of some idiotic middle school gang.

Little Brother No.1 next to the leader praised: “Yue ge, your new shoes look pretty good, the collab between AJ9 and Dior, right.”

The person called Yue ge smugly lifted his foot: “It’s not bad, it’s the same shoe as in [The Rap of China]10. My mother bought it for me from abroad.”

“Fuck, then it must be expensive.”

“No kidding. It was forty or fifty thousand yuan. Don’t touch it, can you afford to pay if you ruin it?”

Hearing up to here, Xia Zhiye, who had been forced to stay in his seat by Song Yan until he finished a stack of worksheets, suddenly chuckled.

Liu Yue looked for the source of the laughter and raised his eyebrows in dissatisfaction: “Xia Zhiye, what are you laughing at.”

“Nothing.” Xia Zhiye continued to calculate the force of the magnetic field: “Just feels a bit fake.”

This seemed to aggravate Liu Yue’s nerves, and he immediately asked in a loud voice: “Speak clearly, what’s fake?”

“The main part of this applied question is false, what else could I be talking about?” Xia Zhiye didn’t even raise his head, his tone carrying a smile that was also not a smile, causing others to be unable to guess what he was thinking.

Liu Yue scolded him in his heart, then turned around and happened to bump into the son of the boss of the noodle cart, and seized the opportunity to take his anger out on someone else: “Zhang Mianmian, how come you haven’t submitted the money yet?”

Zhang Mianmian trembled: “I, I handed it in……”

“You handed in the class fee today, but you didn’t hand in last semester’s printing fee. You already procrastinated for an entire summer, and you still can’t fork out 30 yuan?”

“I, I forgot. Tomorrow……”

“Tomorrow, it’s always tomorrow. Last time you said tomorrow was it really tomorrow? Look at your poor self, then look at your poor grades. You might as well go work and make some money, what’s the point of going to school?”

Bang—

A pen knocked onto a table.

Xia Zhiye leaned back, towards the back of his chair: “What are you making a fuss for, I’ll help him……”

Oh right.

Only after saying the first half did he realize he only had twenty yuan to his name. His voice trailed off, and he was just thinking of how to resolve this, when a wallet dropped onto the table in front of him.

The pretty little sour face of the owner of the wallet was cold: “Can you stop leaving your things with me.”

“Sure, I’ll remember next time.” Xia Zhiye chuckled, tacitly understood, and naturally took Song Yan’s wallet, brought out thirty yuan, and pushed it in front of Liu Yue, “Here, take it. Don’t lose it.”

Liu Yue couldn’t find an excuse to get angry again, and could only take the money and leave.

When he turned and passed by Zhang Mianmian, he coldly jeered: “Okay, don’t look so fucking aggrieved. I’m also saying it for your own good. What’s the point of going to school when you’re poor and your grades suck?”

Where did he get this sense of superiority.

Xia Zhiye’s fingers grasped the body of the pen and poked at his table for a bit, and was just about to open his mouth, when Song Yan, who was next to him, first coldly began speaking: “Is it too presumptuous of me to ask how much that pair of sneakers you’re wearing cost?”

Liu Yue turned back: “48,000 yuan, what about it?”

“Nothing.” Song Yan was unperturbed, “Just wanted to remind you, your mother might’ve been scammed.”

“?”

“The fakes you’re wearing can be bought on TaoBao for 300 yuan at most.”

“……”

The classroom was silent.

Liu Yue dribbled the basketball in his hand once: “Song Yan what the fuck do you mean? You can eat whatever garbage, but you can’t speak irresponsibly, do you understand?”

The little brothers next to him also began agreeing one by one.

“That’s right, why are you saying Yue ge’s shoes are fake?”

“Our Yue ge is engaged in international trade, how could he buy fake shoes?”

“That’s right, you’re saying it as if you’ve seen the real deal.”

Elder young master Song didn’t like speaking with idiots, so he took out his phone, searched around, and then tossed it in front of them.

There was nothing else on the screen, just the receipt of purchase on an official sneaker seller platform11.

Buyer: Song Yan

Payment: 49,899 yuan

Date of Purchase: January 17, 2020. 8:00am.

He already purchased the real deal more than half a year ago, has a receipt, and proof of authenticity. Definitely not fake.

Also if you look at the photo, and look at the shoes on Liu Yue’s feet, although the two look identical, there’s just something strange about it. However if they were asked what was wrong, they also wouldn’t be able to point it out.

Until Song Yan casually tossed out a sentence: “The material of the Jacquard weave12 on the side.”

The audience suddenly realized: “So it’s like that……”

So it’s like fucking what, as if anyone could notice that.

Liu Yue’s face was extremely unsightly.

Song Yan took back his phone, and indifferently said: “If your mother bought it off an official site but received a fake product, she can get a refund with a receipt. If you’re unfamiliar with the process, I can help you.”

He said it as if he was reminding Liu Yue, expressing that he might not have purposefully bought a fake product, but was just scammed.

But it was product A from Taobao. Where could Liu Yue fish out a receipt from an official site?

Furthermore he spent 1,000 yuan to buy it, how could this person see through it with just a glance?

Liu Yue grinded his teeth. He couldn’t say yes, but he also couldn’t say no.

In the midst of his embarrassment, Song Yan once again spoke up lightly: “However this pair of shoes is hard to match with clothes. I’ve also never worn it. If you like it, I’ll give it to you, it’s not as if it’s hard to come by.”

Very pretentious.

But Song Yan indifferently sat there, and said it expressionlessly, as if it were all a matter of course.

And it also made Liu Yue’s act of treasuring this pair of shoes all the more comical.

The few students who already disliked Liu Yue had already begun to cover their mouths and whisper among themselves, occasionally letting out a few jeers.

Liu Yue had always loved his reputation, and has never been embarrassed to this extent. He also stubbornly lacked reason, and wanted to scold someone but couldn’t.

He could only grind his teeth and sarcastically smile: “No need, you’re right. Anyways it’s not as if it’s hard to come by. If I got scammed of a few thousand dollars, it’s not a big deal.”

After he finished speaking, he forcefully kicked the basketball forward, and walked out the door. A few little brothers hurriedly followed, and those left in the classroom whispered up a storm.

Xia Zhiye has always helped others out of a predicament, and it was rare that someone would help him out. He thought that this felt pretty good, and turned to the side, leaned his head on his hand, and laughed: “Classmate Song Daxi, turns out you really do care about me.”

Classmate Song Daxi was too lazy to pay him any attention: “It’s purely because I hate hearing dogs bark.”

“Mm, I see.” Xia Zhiye nodded, “Then why’d you let me borrow your wallet?”

“……”

Song Yan picked up his bag, stood up, directly passed by Xia Zhiye. He looked as if he planned to ignore the question, and even planned on hopping on one leg back to the dorms.

He was ambitious, but reality was cruel.

He hopped twice, and nearly tripped.

Xia Zhiye hurriedly reached out to grab his waist, and pulled the little handicapped person back: “I was just joking around, what do you have such a big temper for.”

Song Yan’s face was cold, and attempted to push away the other’s hand.

Xia Zhiye was scared he was going to fall, and could only tighten his grip. Meanwhile, he laughed out loud and coaxed the other: “Okay, okay, okay. You don’t care about me, but I care about you. I even prepared a surprise for you.”

Song Yan raised his eyes.

Xia Zhiye winked lightly: “A big surprise.”

He had a pair of phoenix eyes13, the outer corner of his eyes were raised, his eyelashes were long and thick. When he smiled and winked, he thoroughly captivated others’ hearts, dropping one’s intellect.

As a result, three minutes later, at the bike rack.

Song Yan stared at that blingbling14 fluorescent pink bicycle: “……”

What kind of big surprise.

If he believed Xia Zhiye one more time, then he was a purebred idiot.

1. Gaokao = 高考, China’s college entrance exam. Considered the most difficult exam in China, and is the primary deciding factor for determining what college you go to. It’s a criminal offense to cheat on this test, btw (someone actually did and he’s in jail for life, I believe).

2. Sweet and sour pork (糖醋肉), white squash with ribs (冬瓜排骨), pig trotters (猪蹄), drumstick (鸡腿)

3. In Chinese, XZY says “吃啥补啥” and basically means SY should eat more to make up for being too skinny.

4. Cairen = 才人, is the title for a specific level of ladies in waiting

5. Meiren = 美人, beauty. I wrote meiren because it sounded better than Song beauty, and matched cairen from earlier.

6. Winning heads in games refers to getting points/winning.

7. China has largely forgone paying with cash. Most people pay using Alipay/WeChat by scanning a QR code. Many stalls have these codes set up for ease of payment.

8. 100 yuan bills in China are pink.

9. Air Jordans

10. A variety show in China wherein thousands of rappers compete against each other. Similar to [Show Me the Money].

11. Because there are so many fake products in China, a lot of brand name goods are sold through authorized retailers like Poizon, and usually come with proof of authenticity.

12. A type of weave produced on a special loom, and characterized by complex designs.

13. A type of eye shape characterized by raised outer corners of the eye, see here.

14. Originally written in english.