Don’t Remember Me - Chapter 4. 46

~ 4.46 ~

Translator: Lioness

‘Indeed… you do not have any memory of me.’

Flitta didn’t know that Haven, also doesn’t have any memory of her mother. It wasn’t something Flitta needed to know, and even if she heard about her mother, Haven was unsure if she could comprehend the situation well.

How can Flitta understand something that he does not even understand? He vaguely stopped getting curious about her mother.

As for Flitta, she had never specifically asked about the mother who gave birth to her. Maybe she didn’t dare to ask me, though.

In a way, he can say that Flitta is more comfortable to him than before… but that’s not the point to be happy. Haven doesn’t know anything about her mother, so he has nothing to say to Flitta.

His mouth hesitated for a very long time, which then somehow opened slowly.

“She… was a good person.”

“…!”

Rosé busied herself with biting her lips, but the words that came out from him, made her head lift. Haven didn’t notice her gaze, which was on him, and stuttered with a baffled expression.

“… She was a kind, bright person.”

Haven recalled her voice in his hallucinations-like-afterimage and managed to answer Flitta. Along with the thought of the mother’s existence using the images suddenly appearing in his mind, who was probably the mother of his daughter.

But Rosé, who had no way of knowing that, looked at him with trembling eyes.

‘Even though you couldn’t remember me.’

She wanted to hold him and say so.

‘You don’t even remember me… saying something like that is invalid. I was the one who erased your memory, the one who gave you the memory loss tea. Because of the trust you have in me, you drank it doubtlessly which erased all those we had spent together… but why did you talk I am a good person?’

Rosé’s eyes went hazy. Holding her hands tightly together, she bit the inside of her mouth, stopping her teary-eyed.

She didn’t even know that he was lying for his child. Nonetheless, his words resonated in her eras, down to her heart.

A good person.

A kind and bright person.

Her heart sank as she realized that Haven still saw her that way, which felt like he was really talking to her.

“But why…”

Just then, Flitta’s voice was heard. Rosé looked at Flitta again while trying to hold back the dull pain spreading in her chest. Flitta looked like mulling over what to say, tilting her head.

“Why don’t… I have a mother? Was it because she hated me, no, Rosé said she wouldn’t be like that.”

Flitta always had the courage to ask questions about what she was most curious about. Of course, she glanced back at Rosé in the middle and blurted out the end of her words. At those words, Rosé’s tears welled up.

She guessed she wasn’t good enough to cleanse the wounds inside Flitta’s, who was still thinking about her. Indeed, the wounds of being abandoned by her mother wouldn’t be healed that easily.

‘… But, no. It’s not like that, baby.’

Rosé muttered silently with a desperate heart. At the same time, Haven shook his head.

“She doesn’t hate you, Flitta.”

“… Are you sure?”

Flitta tilted her head as if she couldn’t understand. Haven pressed his mouth shut, then spoke again in a low voice.

“For our sake, for you and me, she only left briefly. Someday… yes, she will be back someday.”

Rosé grabbed the front of her clothes without realizing it at Haven’s words. She knows that the words were only meant to comfort his child, but nonetheless they warmly caressed her aching heart.

At that very moment, unexpected words came out of her child’s mouth.

“I wish Rosé was my mother.”

“…!”

“…!”

(TN: Oh, you got your wish came true real quick.)

Haven and Rosé looked at each other wide-eyed at the same time. And when their eyes met, they quickly turned their heads. Both of their faces were red.

It was something that any child will say because she is a child, it should be nothing, since it was just an expression of her childlike wish. Flitta’s favorite is Rosé, so it was expected.

However, despite understanding it with her head, both of them floundered, unable to shake off their embarrassment. Then, Haven, at this time, wiped his face, quite helpless, bringing his words out after clearing his throat.

“Hmm, Flitta…”

“Can’t Rosé be my mother?”

(TN: But well, already though *sweats*)

Unlike her usual calm and timid appearance, Flitta actively asked questions. When Haven was unable to find words to answer the question, opened his mouth, then Rosé interrupted.

“Princess… That doesn’t work.”

Rosé’s chest was beating wildly. Why would she not want? Why would she not want to have the name ‘Mom’? She wanted to be willing, she wanted to be Flitta’s mother.

Only if I could.

… If the harsh fate would allow me just once.

“Why not?”

However, the child did not know such a situation, so she looked at Rosé with clear eyes and asked. Rosé bit her trembling lips once and then let go, replying slowly.

“… Then the princess’s real mother will be sad.”

Rosé’s voice trembled slightly as she soothed her grumbling child.

“His Highness has said it a while ago, right? That your mother will… come back. So when he returns, she would be sad if she sees… that someone else is in her place.”

Next to her beloved child.

And next to the man she love.

The future she hadn’t thought of on purpose was clearly drawn. A future where someone is by their side. It wouldn’t be her, someone who was not sick as her.

Noble, elegant, and healthy without getting sick.

A woman who will be Flitta’s mother, Haven’s wife, staying by their side.

Maybe… By that time, she is no longer in this world.

Rose’s voice trailed off as she spoke. Haven looked at her, his brow furrowed. He felt something strange.

Like he was missing something…

‘It’s a nonsense thought.’

He was talking to Flitta and a nonsense thought passed in his mind. He shook his head and Rosé continued speaking, focusing on Flitta.

“So, Princess, please save that spot for her.”

It’s not meant to be left forever. It wasn’t shameless enough to be so greedy. Besides, she wouldn’t be like that.

It hasn’t been long since she became one of the Grand Duke’s maids, but several stories were told.

Among them, there was a story related to the marriage of the Grand Duke. The big problem of ‘succession to the throne’ is intertwined.

A royal blood relative who marries the former queen ascends the throne.

So, it must have been. The Queen approached Haven, to marry her, and to put him on the throne.

The situation was unthinkable for an average person. A woman married the older brother and will marry the younger brother, again. But it could be done, for it was upon that marriage will the owner of the crown be determined.

However… The man who drank the tea she served herself had never married the former queen. It was as if he would keep the oath he had made with her.

Like he remembered the night- the moon lit beyond anything, two figures standing, facing each other and swore that they were for each other’s only.

Of course, that’s just her delusion. A woman he could not remember, and an oath that he could not remember had no meaning. It was nothing more than a form that could not be found.

He must have just been reluctant to marry the former queen, and for some reason that an ordinary person like her couldn’t dare understand, and she wouldn’t. Just by looking at Haven’s cold treatment of the late queen, she could guess that.

But even so, someday, he will marry someone. He can’t live alone like this.

“… For mother?”

“Yes, princess.”

So, Rosé happily smiled and nodded her head in response. Even though the lingering attachments that she couldn’t shake off clung to her heart and became tattered, it was something she had to be prepared for and endure.

“Yes….”

In response, Flitta stuck her mouth out pointedly as if regretting it, and then shook her head. It was right after that and Haven, who had been looking at the scene in silence, opened his mouth.

“Then why did you suddenly have that thought?”

“Yes?”

“… That, I mean, you want Rosé to be your mother.”

Haven looked at his child, then glanced back at Rosé. Rosé opened her eyes wide, startled. Her heart, which had been sunk by her sadness, was wildly agitated. She hurriedly turned her head away from his gaze, not wanting to find out what he was thinking.

However, Haven’s blue eyes followed Rosé. It was an act that occurred inadvertently and unconsciously.

“Uhm… that.”

Then, after much thought, Flitta opened her mouth again.

Only then did Haven realize what he was doing and hurriedly looked away. His face flushed slightly red.

The child, who had no way of knowing the condition of the two, hesitantly twitched her fingers before continuing.

“I was envious when I saw Countess with her daughter.”

“… Ah.”

Rosé sighed involuntarily and hurriedly shut her mouth. However, she could not hide her pity for the child. She understood now. Why did Flitta suddenly cry, why was she so sad that she couldn’t stop crying?

Seeing the affectionate mother and daughter, the child must have felt the empty seat next to her vividly. She had gotten used to her mother’s absence, so there was no way it was nothing. The five-year-old now needed a ‘mom’.

“I see.”

Haven also guessed that feeling and answered with a heavy tone. Flitta shook her head and pretended she was fine, and she smiled.

“It’s just that she was briefly envious. It’s fine now. Because I have a dad and a Rosé, right?”