Dr. Ou’s Psychotherapy - Chapter 21

Longing and Distortion

Mu Xin smiled softly, “Mr. Yi, please go up to the second floor.”

Yi Zhize nodded and followed behind him.

He walked through the black and white chess board marble paved hall and up the dark wooden spiral staircase to the upper floor.

While the ground floor was decorated in a style so dark that it resembled a gothic castle, the second floor was even more depressing.

Yi Zhize had a premonition, as if he was moving step by step towards something…

An unseen abyss.

“Here we are,” Mu Xin’s light and pleasant voice broke the dead silence between them as he opened the door to a room, “this is it.”

Yi Zhize came to the door and saw the furnishings of the room.

With just one glance, he broke into a cold sweat.

This was not a recital hall at all, but a cluttered study.

There was a sandalwood desk in the middle of the room, and behind it was a huge backdrop.

The backdrop was densely covered with photographs, handwritten or printed material of various colours. All of them, without exception, related to him.

The hospital where he was born, the address where he used to live in B City, the place where he went to elementary school.

Father, Yi Mingda, mother, Xie Qingmeng, grandfather, Xie Decheng.

His transcripts from high school, university, and postgraduate studies at UCL Law School in London.

His first case at Ruizheng Law Firm, his favourite music, and the cafes he frequents.

Mu Xin leaned on the doorway, still sporting a slight smile, “Mr. Yi, come in and sit for a while. Shall we have a chat?”

Yi Zhize stared into his eyes, “There’s nothing to talk about. What do you mean by this?”

“I heard that Mr. Yi is not in a good mental state and can’t remember things. Out of concern for you, I carefully searched for these materials.” Mu Xin sat down on the sofa inside the study, “I can help you remember if you want.”

“I don’t need to.” Yi Zhize turned around indifferently and was about to head downstairs.

“Don’t you want to know how Xie Qingmeng died?”

Hearing this, Yi Zhize paused.

It was only a moment before he said, “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Why nott?” Mu Xin’s smile took on a more discernible hue: “On the 29th of September 2002, it was raining so hard on Lijing Road.”

Yi Zhize’s eyes were indifferent, “You were the one who delivered those letters to me.” After a moment, he added, “What are you trying to do?”

“Do you think that it was just an ordinary accident?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That it’s not,” Mu Xin’s voice dropped abruptly, “you’ve been living a lie.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in hearing this rhetoric from you.” Yi Zhize said, “Open the door.”

“You won’t be able to get out.”

Yi Zhize took out his phone and sent a brief message to Ou Tingyun.

Why he was the first person he thought of, Yi Zhize himself didn’t understand.

“In this villa, there’s no signal.” Mu Xin smiled at him, “I’ve blocked the outside world, completely.”

Yi Zhize looked at the screen of his mobile phone, where the send icon kept rotating.

He walked into the room and suddenly lashed out, clutching Mu Xin’s collar and pressing him against the cupboard, “Give me the key.”

“This is interesting.” Mu Xin’s eyes lit up with a hint of sparkle: “I didn’t expect Mr. Yi to have this side.”

Yi Zhize repeated, “Give me the key.”

“You don’t look anything like him,” Mu Xin said as they got closer, “I mean, Yi Minda. But you do look like your mother. It’s a shame she’s dead.”

“Shut up.”

“As much as I loathe Yi Minda, I pity your mother.” Mu Xin looked into Yi Zhize’s eyes, “She was innocent.”

Yi Zhize’s hand clutching his collar tightened, “Who the hell are you?”

“In fact, we share the same disease, we were both cursed to come into the world.” Mu Xin put his arm around Yi Zhize’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “You killed your mother, I killed mine.”

Yi Zhize’s breathing ruffled a little: “Stop it.”

“What? Did I say something wrong?” He was obviously so close, but Mu Xin’s voice sounded as if it was coming from far away: “That car accident, it wasn’t an accident at all, it was a disaster caused by Yi Mingda. But a mother is always willing to sacrifice for her children, that’s why she died for you, how touching.”

Yi Zhize lowered his eyelids and his eyelashes trembled slightly.

“That car accident was not only about you, it was also about me. You lost your mother, and I lost mine. In my memory, I can’t even, can’t even remember what she looked like.” Mu Xin’s emotions suddenly became elevated: “I have been drowning in a curse of loneliness, self-blame, longing, ridicule and disappointment; I’m sure you don’t feel well either, you must understand me?”

Yi Zhize let go of him wearily.

Mu Xin gently put his arm around his shoulders: “In the drawer in my study, there are two pistols, one of which is loaded with bullets. Let’s play a game, shall we? We’ll each choose one and shoot at each other.”

Yi Zhize said, “I refuse.”

Mu Xin smiled, “You can’t refuse. As you can see, I’m a madman. If you don’t play this game with me, I’ll go to your grandfather. Xie Decheng, right? You hold him in high regard, don’t you?”

Yi Zhize’s eyes turned colder and he pursed his lips, not uttering a word as he looked at him indifferently.

“I have longed for such a day for a long, long time. By fate, we have come into the world with our original sins on our backs. Then,” Mu Xin’s smile was as holy as a church priest’s, “I will be your judge and take you with me, back into purgatory and up into heaven.”

———

It was just after noon, and Ou Tingyun had just finished a meeting and was attending a banquet organised by the organisers.

At the banquet, some people could not drink alcohol, so they asked for a carton of milk, just the kind that Yi Zhize liked.

Ou Tingyun said, “I’m not drinking either, I’m having milk today.”

A colleague teased, “Who doesn’t know that you are a big drinker? Are you retiring for today? I’ll arrange for Xiao Wang to drive for you later.”

Ou Tingyun smiled and refused, “No need, just enjoy yourselves.” He took a carton of milk, took a picture and sent it to Yi Zhize: [I had some of this for lunch, it’s very sweet.]

Yi Zhize didn’t reply.

But that was the norm, Ou Tingyun thought, there was nothing to reply to.

At 2 PM, when the banquet was over, he messaged Yi Zhize again, [Zhize, what are your plans for the evening?

Yi Zhize didn’t reply.

Perhaps he was busy, Ou Tingyun thought, let’s wait a little longer.

When he got home, he went to his study, turned on his computer and read the latest research in the psychology field.

After reading a couple of pages, he couldn’t resist taking out his mobile phone and calling Yi Zhize.

Surprisingly, a mechanical female voice came through: “Sorry, the number you have called is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.”

When he called again, the same tone rang in his ears, “Sorry, the number you have called is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.”

Ou Tingyun remembered Anhe Mountain.

But Yi Zhize would not be there.

He remembered Xie Decheng had told him that every year, Yi Zhize only went there once.

At that moment, the phone beeped and it was a message from Yi Zhize.

There were only three characters: SOS.