Dr. Ou’s Psychotherapy - Chapter 22

Touch and Comfort

Warning: This chapter includes a suicide.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

On the outskirts of City A, between the mountains and the water, stood a white villa.

Inside the villa, silent as the night, dim as the night, the two sat on the sofa.

In their hands were cold, metallic guns. Yi Zhize’s eyes were downcast, and a few strands of stray hair covered his eyebrows.

“Which part of the body do you like the most, the part where the bullet will pass through?” Mu Xin murmured, “I like a lot of places. Like the temple, where the metal slug slams in and it stays permanently in my mind. Or, the heart.”

He pressed his fingertips against the spot where Yi Zhize’s heart was, “Listen, ah, the sound of it beating. Shh! It will only take a little while, and then it will slowly, slowly, forever be still. Tell me, Ze Ze, where would you like it, hmm?”

“You’re boring. And you have no right to call me that.” Yi Zhize said, “It makes me sick.”

“Oh~ I’m making Ze Ze unhappy.” Mu Xin smiled deeply and put the muzzle of the gun against Yi Zhize’s heart, “I wonder, is there a bullet in here or not, would it make you happy? To the point where your heart is fluttering? The blood in your heart is stirring?”

Yi Zhize frowned in disgust.

Mu Xin took Yi Zhize’s hand and turned the gun in his hand, aiming it at his heart: “What’s wrong, Ze Ze? Looking at me like that? In the whole world, I’m the one who knows you best. You and I, we are two sides of the same soul. So, you kill me, or I kill you, that is the best way for us to return. I can’t wait.”

“You and I bear no resemblance.” Yi Zhize whispered, “But, perhaps, there is a little.” His voice trembled slightly involuntarily, “That is suffering, longing… relief.”

———

A gunshot was heard as Ou Tingyun and the police unit arrived.

Birds leapt from the trees, bringing with them the sound of fluttering wings.

A certain image came to mind that he didn’t want to see, and Ou Tingyun felt a lump in his throat.

The door was forced open and the group made their way to the second floor.

The study was open and Yi Zhize was leaning back on the sofa, a discarded firearm at his feet.

In Mu Xin’s hand was another gun, and he held the muzzle against Yi Zhize’s neck, raking it across his throat. He lifted his chin and whispered, “Why?”

Yi Zhize looked at him calmly and did not answer.

Officer Zhou suddenly said aloud, “You are surrounded! Drop your weapon immediately!”

“So noisy,” Mu Xin wrapped his arms around Yi Zhize’s neck and put the muzzle of his gun against his temple, “You guys, get out.”

Ou Tingyun squeezed Officer Zhou’s shoulder and smiled at Mu Xin, “Don’t be impulsive, perhaps we can have a talk.”

“I have nothing to talk about with you guys.” Mu Xin’s tone was tinged with impatience, “I have something important to do right now, don’t disturb me.”

Ou Tingyun looked over towards Yi Zhize, his patient was clearly in a poor state.

The way Mu Xin was clinging to him was unbearably distasteful.

But fortunately, there was still time.

He was still alive, and there was still time.

Mu Xin moved a little closer towards Yi Zhize: “We agreed to shoot together, why didn’t you pull the trigger? I see, you wished to die but cursed me to live, didn’t you? You’re so vicious.”

“Your delusions make me sick.” Yi Zhize’s voice was as weary as it could be, “There is only one reason why I won’t shoot. No matter how much I loathe you, I have no right to deprive you of your life. I will not do anything that goes against my principles.”

“Ha, principles!!! What a grand excuse!” Mu Xin’s eyes were bloodshot, “Just now, the only one who shot was me!!! If there was a bullet in that gun at your feet, you would have fallen in a pool of blood!!!”

“Is that not exactly what you want?” Yi Zhize said, “You’ve been planning this for a long time, you just want to kill me.”

“You’re wrong, Ze Ze.” Mu Xin laughed softly, “You still don’t understand me.” He gently stroked the teardrop mole at the corner of Yi Zhize’s eyes, “It doesn’t matter, it’s the same, you’ll get it sooner or later. Ze Ze, come on, look at me properly.”

“Look at me,” Mu Xin repeated again, “You and I, we came into the world with the same blood; we deserve to die drenched in the same blood.”

At the end of his words, a gunshot was heard.

Blood splattered and poured all over Yi Zhize’s face.

The warm liquid stained his eyebrows, eyes and lips, staining the teardrop mole bright red.

Mu Xin had killed himself.

He fell into his arms.

The surrounding area exploded into a cacophony of noise, and Yi Zhize only felt that the scene before him was terribly unreal.

The sounds and images were so distant.

Memories of the rainy night on Lijing Road suddenly came flooding back.

It was drenched in blood.

“Zhize.”

Someone called out to him.

“Zhize.”

Someone was calling out to him.

Yi Zhize looked up blankly and saw Ou Tingyun’s face.

Reality and illusion intertwined, images pierced through the boundaries of time and space and mingled together without reason.

Before Yi Zhize’s eyes was a rainy night on Lijing Road.

He stood in the rain.

All around him was the fishy smell of blood.

His mother was in front of him.

The pretty face was a bloody mess.

He didn’t know why, but he had even lost his emotions.

Extreme pain is ultimately a silent sacrifice.

It is pointless to bawl or to wash one’s face in tears.

Extreme pain, from the very beginning, loses the strength to express itself.

He just looked on vacantly, and all he could do was not say a word.

The world stripped him away.

He stripped himself of it.

He could not feel the meaning of existence.

“Zhize!”

Someone called out to him.

“Yi Zhize!”

Someone was calling out to him.

He saw Ou Tingyun walking towards him in the rain. He put his arm around his shoulder and whispered, “Okay, it’s okay. Let’s go home.”

Yi Zhize looked at him, indifferent and quiet.

Ou Tingyun tenderly rubbed the blood off his face, “I’ll take you home.”

“Tingyun.”

“I’m here.”

“I don’t have a home.”

“How come you don’t? I’ve been to your house and you cooked for me, don’t you remember? Hmm?”

“That’s not home, I don’t have a home.”

“Okay, do you want to go to my house?”

“No.”

“Really? My house is fun.”

“Liar.”

“How have I lied to you?”

“Liar!”

“Zhize, do you want some milk?”

“Hot milk.”

“En, very hot.”

“Want.”

“Do as you’re told and come back with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ou Tingyun squeezed his hand in his palm, said goodbye to Officer Zhou, and led the man away.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Yi Zhize was surprisingly silent, like an innocent child unaware of the world.

Ou Tingyun fastened his seatbelt for him.

Yi Zhize asked, “When is the rain going to stop?”

He was still lost in his visions.

Outside, there were no clouds and the sun was shining brightly, but the sun was setting.

Ou Tingyun said without changing his expression, “Soon. When we get home, the rain will stop.”

“Okay, then let’s get home soon, shall we?”

In ordinary times, how could this lawyer ever say such a sentence?

Ou Tingyun couldn’t resist rubbing his hair,  “Okay.”

Back at the residence.

Ou Tingyun was warming up milk for Yi Zhize.

He said to him, “Tingyun, is there still blood on my face?”

Ou Tingyun looked closely for a moment, “No.”

“But I think there is.” Yi Zhize insisted, “It’s not just on my face, it’s in many places, many, many places.”

Ou Tingyun asked, “How about a hot bath?”

“Mmm.” Yi Zhize said, “You help me.”

Translator Notes

Hello everyone! Are you enjoying Dr. Ou’s Psychotherapy so far? I personally love this author’s style and have been looking into their other works recently. Would anyone be interested in some of the other works by this author? I started translating their ongoing series already, ‘After Crossing Over to the Republic of China, I’ve Become a Heartthrob’, and am thinking about translating ‘The Chief Conductor’s Strange Lover’ once I am done with SCI Volume 1. Let me know what your think.

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.