Earth’s Doom Starts with… Me? - Chapter 89

“Oh, that actually happened?” General Zhang exclaimed in surprise, but then grinned, “wow, that’s actually exciting!”

I kinda expected this wacky reaction from him when I explained my whole experience to them. I didn’t include the details about how I thought I was going schizophrenic, though.

The rest of them I explained as best as I could, even down to what those people wore, their expressions and body languages, and also my suspicion about their relationships and mindsets. I tried to convey as much information that may be important for future references.

“I mean, I won’t deny that it was interesting to see their perspective, but…” I sighed, “it left a bitter taste in my mouth.”

“Do you want me to make your mouth taste sweet?” General Zhang playfully winked at me.

“Yes, but strictly using pudding only. Chocolate pudding.” I pouted. Well, Edelweiss’ choccy pudding was actually really great. Now I seriously wanted one.

“I’ll feed you with chocolate pudding when we get home, then,” General Zhang made an ‘ok’ shape with his fingers, “but for now, we gotta do something about this situation.”

“Agreed. Jeanne and Firiell are still missing. Moreover, this crest thingy not only unveiled the truth to us, but also birthed even more mysteries.” I frowned as I inspected the still heart in my hand.

“Let’s go get them first.” General Emilio announced.

“Yup yup,” I nodded, “do you have any idea where they might’ve gone? Because I don’t think that eccentric king will kidnap them right after telling us to go kill his brother. Maybe we should suspect other humans? Or the orcs?”

“I’m thinking the latter,” general Emilio explained, “there’s no reason for those humans to show their faces here, not after they’ve hidden from us for so long. It makes more sense if those orcs are plotting something against the elves.”

“Ah, a resistance attempt, perhaps? And Firiell was the perfect target for them, if that’s the case.” I nodded.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed that general Zhang stayed quiet, just observing us with his usual grin plastered on his handsome face. That slippery eel, he obviously knew a lot more about those humans than he was letting on. Otherwise, why would he drop hints for me?

“Let’s do this fast. We’ll just kidnap an orc and have them tell us what they know.” General Emilio declared as he started walking.

“Uh-huh. Sure. Let’s get you some first-aid treatment first after we get out of this forest, shall we?” I decided to keep quiet about general Zhang. There must’ve been a reason why he was dropping hints for me, but stayed silent towards general Emilio and Jeanne.

‘FWOOP!’

‘Tap!’

General Emilio caught a flying arrow with one hand as I immediately raised my rifle in unison.

“Seems like they’re still eager to fight.” General Emilio said with a flat face while throwing the arrow aside.

I looked up to observe the trees around us, since that was where the arrow came from, and spotted an elf in the middle of running away.

‘BANG!’

“Of course. The battle won’t be over just because the leader died. This isn’t a superhero movie,” I said as I reloaded my rifle even before the elf’s limp body hit the ground, “big brother, come out.”

“Geez, finally. You’re overspending your mana waaaay too much, kid.”

I didn’t have to look away from my scope to know that the golden-eyed man had materialized beside me. Ack, he was finally summoned after so long, and yet the first thing he thought of was lecturing me on my mana allocation? …Fair point.

“Your hair is prickling me. Get away.” I pouted and wriggled my shoulders to get him off of me.

‘BANG!’

“Good job,” general Emilio said when he saw that my bullet had taken out another elf, this time hitting a sword-wielding elf, “but who is that?”

“Oh, uh… He’s my… Parasite. He kind of lives rent-free inside me ever since that fusing. Don’t mind him.” I nervously answered. How else should I describe him, anyway? A humanoid serpent? A high-rank intelligent monster? A snake on drugs?

“So an ally?” He questioned as he launched a handful of needles towards an elf that suddenly came from on top of us, filling the young elf’s body with holes.

“My ally, yes.” I nodded and crouched down to slice the elf’s neck with my knife-shaped mana palm, earning a gruesome scream from her. But hey, I mean, confirming your kill was an important thing to do on the battlefield. It was better to make sure that she wouldn’t be able to move and sneakily attack us later. After all, desperate and vengeful people were the most dangerous ones.

“But I’m not a parasite. I’m a respectable, high-ranking monster.” He pouted.

“A monster?” General Emilio questioned.

“No no no!” I quickly got in the middle of them, “I mean, yes, but actually, no. But kind of yes?”

General Emilio raised an eyebrow, making a confused look, “no need to panic. I have no intention of harming an ally.”

Oh. So I was the only one who was panicky.

Hearing that, my shoulders eased in delight, “good to know that you’re not against all monsters.”

“Anyway,” general Emilio said as he caught an elf assassin mid-leap and bashed his head on the ground, “let’s quickly finish them.”

“Agreed.”

——–

“Ack! My hoodie’s all dirty now from the ashes and blood,” I groaned while I mourned my newly-bought hoodie, courtesy of general Zhang, “I doubt these stains will come off even after washing this three times… Ah, what a waste.”

After we fought our way out of the forest while those elves chased us, we finally were able to take a quick rest behind an abandoned well, quite a distance away from the forest. Thankfully, we were able to lose those elves thanks to general Zhang’s lightning.

It was a pretty nifty idea to use flashes of lightning as some sort of flashbangs to temporarily blind them and get away.

“Just throw it away. I can buy you a new one.” General Zhang shrugged.

“How wasteful. I prefer to take care of my things rather than simply throwing them away whenever they’re ruined.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Why? It’s a waste of time and effort when you can just buy another one.” General Zhang questioned, this time looking into my eyes.

“Because it’s mine. Do I need another reason to take care of what’s mine?” I tilted my head to one side.

“Hmm…” Surprisingly, he didn’t retort or agree with me. Just a simple, enigmatic ‘hmm’.

“That’s why you don’t have a girlfriend. Nobody wants to be thrown away once they no longer serve a purpose. Even my hoodie would be sad if I throw it away just like that.” I jokingly laughed.

“Hey~ I have quite a long line of ladies who want to get together with me, you know?” He smirked mischievously at me.

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know,” I sighed, “poor ladies, if only they knew that you’re actually a five-year-old trapped in the body of a handsome young man–”

“So you think I’m handsome?” General Zhang quickly asked.

“That’s beside the point!” I groaned.

“Haha! Sure, sure~” He laughed as he gave my head a thorough ruffle, “well, each and every one of them won’t ever be my partner, anyway.”

“Oh? But why?” I asked with a frown. I was too nosy and I wanted to know more, but at the same time, I was still sulky because of that handsome remark so I settled with a pout.

“Hmm…” He pondered for a bit, looking up, “let’s just say that the path I walk upon can’t be walked by just anybody. It takes a special person to be able to walk my path.”

“But being partners doesn’t mean you have to walk together, though,” I replied, “you can still walk your own paths, as long as you support each other, right?”

“That might be true. Although life doesn’t always work that way.” He said as he leaned back on the stony surface of the well.

“…I understand what you mean. I don’t think anyone would ever willingly walk my path, either. Haha!” I chuckled, “I guess we’re both self-proclaimed single by choice, huh?”

“Well, I’m not rushing~ I already got a snarky little cub to take care of, how can I manage taking care of an extra person?”

“…You wanna fight me, eel?” I growled.

“Now, now~ Let us focus on patching up porcupine first, shall we?” General Zhang chuckled amusedly.

“Oh, right, sorry!” I gasped and immediately took the backpack that I asked big brother to carry for me, since it was safer. I kinda wish I could just store it inside my inventory without anyone suspecting me. Haa… The system needed some patching, developer.

After fumbling with it for a bit, I finally stumbled upon a white pouch with a red cross sign on it. Weird. The Red Cross shouldn’t exist in this era, right? So why would this first-aid kit be marked with it?

‘Clang!’

“Alright, let me see your wound.” I said as I crouched to place the first-aid kit on the ground on top of white cloth, and opened it. I quickly scanned the contents and grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol to wash my hands with.

“Wear the gloves, kid.” Luke suddenly tapped my shoulder as I was washing my hands and pointed towards the small bundle of latex in the corner of the kit.

“Right, thank you.” I nodded as I put on the gloves without touching the outer part as carefully as I could.

“Are you familiar with first-aid?” General Emilio questioned, “you seem like you know what to do.”

Uhh, I mean… There was no way a special brigade soldier like me didn’t receive first-aid training, right? They didn’t teach us everything about first-aid, to be honest, but only for stuff that often happened on the battlefield, like burn injury, laceration, gunshot wound, snake bite, yada-yada.

Still, we weren’t particularly trained to be healthcare providers, so we were sloppy at best.

“Not really, but we don’t have much choice, either,” I replied as I checked for some gauze, antibiotics, and painkillers, “let’s just hope you won’t get a deadly infection.”