Enchant Gunner: Bullets And Magic - Chapter 31: Chapter 29: Closure and The Night of the Two

 

H: “Uh Ms. Ceres Do you really not want me to help? I can at least serve the customers and let Anya help you with the cooking.”

I lazily peeked down the stairs where it leads directly to where the kitchen is fixed. Ceres is still the same as usual and is cooking as per the orders Anya and Sofiel give her.

Ceres didn’t want me to do anything ever since the incident and now I’m bored to death. I can’t even go to the dungeon because when I do, she will just tie me down and roll me inside my mattress, making a Hans burrito. I really just can’t win against her.

Tia, on the other hand, tried to help in my stead, but her cluelessness in the field only brought more work than actual help. So we useless people just stayed upstairs, passing the time, reading some books, and sometimes I tell her stories from the books I read back in my world.

But my boredom is soon reaching its limit.

C: “Really, Hans. I told you, you should rest! You’re arm still hurts, right?”

H: “Well, yeah, but.”

C: “Then you should rest. We’ll be fine for now. It’s not that busy anyways. And”

Saying that, Ceres turned her eyes to my severed arm. The sleeve of my usual shirt is tied into a knot so it won’t dangle much. I’m pretty sure that that stare implies she’s thinking I can’t work properly with my arm like this. I know she doesn’t mean ill, and I understand that having my arm severed brought a lot of inconvenience.

It’s been three days after the Time Plague Incident, and now, we’ve pretty much returned to our normal days. Not like something has changed per se, but after experiencing another dangerous situation with Ceres, I felt like I aged another 10 years because of it.

Every time I enter a battlefield before I came here, it’s always like that. Time felt like advancing too fast or something and I feel like I’ve stayed in the crossfire for more than I should have been. I’m used to it so it’s not really a bother, but these new experiences, more specifically, magic, makes it like I’m starting as a newbie soldier all over again.

H: “*sigh*”

But her feeling guilty about it made me sigh in resignation. She’s really uptight or just too responsible

C: “A-Ah! N-No I’m not looking, and I’m not feeling guilty at all”

H: “Right, right”

It has been three days and she’s still like this. She still feeling guilty about it even though I’ve told her a countless of time already that it’s okay. After that incident, we just went home, teleported by Florensia. But before that

 

..

.

After calming Ceres down, who kept blushing after us being caught red-handed, Florensia investigated the wide room where the machine is installed. We found Gorglan, whose name I heard from Ceres, lying on the floor, sprawled. The machine has stopped moving and everything was under control.

Flo: “Young’un. Did the resurrection succeed?”

H: “I think it did. Ceres went out of control, so I had to stop her because of it. The power she got after Gorglan forced the machine to transfer the soul of the Goddess into Ceres is outstanding. Even I had the hard time in dealing with her.”

I heaved an exhausted sigh just from remembering the things the happened.

Flo: “Fumu. That seems to be the case.”

She glanced at my now cut-off arm for a bit and returned her gaze to the machine.

Flo: “This is the Staff of Oblivion, eh?”

H: “What are you going to do with it? Return it to the Kingdom?”

Florensia grabbed the staff from where it was inserted and I think I saw it glow for an instant. She delicately caressed the surface of the staff until her fingers reached the crystal orb at the end of it.

Flo: “Fumu, fumu I see Hans.”

H: “Yeah?”

She turned my way and threw the staff towards me. I used my right hand to catch it but I still don’t understand why she gave it to me.

Flo: “You have it, young’un.”

H: “Huh? Why? Isn’t this an artifact guarded by the Kingdom?”

I heard from Lucia some time ago that after discovering it under a certain ancient ruins, along with some scriptures detailing the history of the staff, the Kingdom then used its every means to protect the staff from the people who may try to take advantage of it. Well, that guarding failed in the end, now that it is actually here in front of me.

It’s still a mystery to me how it was stolen even though, from what Florensia told me, it was kept with the most legendary weapons, used by legendary heroes of the past. Making it stranger, it was only the Staff of Oblivion that was stolen.

H: “Shouldn’t we just return it then?”

I took a careful look at the staff. It is intricately carved into an ancient design composing of characters, which I haven’t seen before. There are some images and drawings along the bulge in the middle, but the finger-like carvings at the end, which holds the crystal, gives it a sinister feeling.

The handle itself is very old and though it was made of something wooden, the metal parts are already rusting. Cracks are found here and there, but the crystal on top of it is still in perfect shape. It’s just a bit smaller than a tennis ball.

Flo: “Non, non. Young’un. That staff wanted to be yours.”

H: “Florensia Uh You speak staff?”

Flo: “I don’t, fool.”

*smack*

Florensia used her closed fan to hit my head, though it didn’t feel painful at all. Ceres trained me after all. Heh.

Flo: “I will not go into details. However, that staff wants to be yours. That is the only thing I can say to you at the moment.”

H: “Hmm”

I wonder why? I feel so nostalgic after holding this staff. It’s like I’m finally going home after a long trip, or something along those lines.

H: “Are you sure?”

Flo: “Yes, I am. I will tell the people at the Kingdom so you do not have to worry about it.”

She kept looking around as if she wanted to confirm something.

H: “I see. Then I’ll be sure to keep it.”

I just received a staff. And I don’t even know how to use it. It’s even battered and old for use, anyways. I don’t really know if there’s a use to it for me.

??: [“Fufufu Finally. Finally, we have met.”]

H: “?!”

What the-??

Flo: “What is wrong, young’un? Wearing a face like you have seen a ghost?”

H: “N-No It’s nothing”

Who was that? I feel like it came directly from the staff. It was soft and high pitched voice, but deep as a mature young lady. I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere and I also feel like I’ve yet heard it before. It’s a strange feeling.

*sigh*

I may be just exhausted and is now hearing things. I want to go home and take a bath, then sleep all day long.

C: “Hans”

S: “Eh?! Hans! Your arm!”

A: “You’re right~! What happened~?!?”

T: “Awawa Wh-Wh-what happened to you?! Even your back is dripping with blood!”

I returned to where the others are, leaving Florensia, who is now trying to tie Gorglan up. What the That’s a weird way of tying up a person It’s like those in the BDSM play in my erotic comi- Ah.

Ahem!

Anyways. I was met with worried faces as soon as I got near them.

H: “Ah, this? It fell off. Haha. And the one in my back is because I fell off the stairs. Naaah, I really get so clumsy sometimes. Hahahaha.”

A: “Fell off, you say~ Hans~? If you joke around about things like that, even I will get angry.”

She smiled through her words but I can’t feel it. She’ll really get angry if I don’t do something about this.

C: “I I was the one who cut it”

A: “Ceres did~?!”

S: “EH?!”

T: “Hans! What did you do?? If you want to apologize then now is the perfect time! You do not your right one to be cut off too, is that not right??”

Oh Tia, you cute little creature You’re getting used now to our daily interactions, aren’t you? Not that I can blame anyone but myself though.

C: “T-Tia No. He didn’t do anything wrong”

T: “Eh? Then why?”

Tia’s face contorts into that of a worried and confused one. Anya and Sofiel looked at Ceres, waiting for answers. Well, I guess I just have to do the explaining.

H: “The Goddess of Disorder possessed her. It’s not her fault.”

All: “Goddess of Disorder??”

 

..

.

After that, I explained everything that had happened after we got home, while being treated by the nurse, of course. They had to close the cut and permanently severed the rest of the dangling tissue, so that it would not inflict any more unnecessary complications.

But even after three days now, Ceres still look so concerned and guilty every time her eyes fall into it. I already told her that I’m not bothered by it the least, but she just can be so stubborn at times *sigh*

H: “If you’re like that, then I will have to punish you for real now.”

C: “Th-Then go ahead! I’ll take any kind of punishment!”

Ceres curled her hands into a fist, making an expression full of determination. Did she feel that guilty about it? I mean, I saved her because I wanted to, and it was just one of the results of doing so. I already told her that there’s really no reason for her to be concerned about it anymore.

Well. That’s just Ceres, I guess. Her sense of responsibility is just too strong, or like, she’s just too stubborn.

H: “Anything?”

C: “*gulp* A-Anything”

If she’s like this, unless I do something that will ease her guilt, she may not stop feeling guilty until I don’t know when.

H: “Alright. Let’s go on a date.”

 

..

.

H: “Does it taste good?”

C: “*lick* Mm.”

H: “I see.”

C: “But Are you really okay with this? We’re just walking around aimlessly”

Ceres took another lick from her chocolate-flavored ice cream.

We’re now walking along the West Street, where a number of merchants and stalls sell their stuff. This place is more like the market place of the town and a lot of people gather here to buy things. From clothes, to daily necessities, armories, and even street foods that you can eat while walking.

Ceres’ attention were caught by a single stall that sells ice cream so we went there and bought two for each of us. My first thought is how this world also has ice creams, and a chocolate flavor one on top of that. I was expecting a bit more otherworldly flavor kind of stuff, but there are just things in life that just won’t go that way you want them.

I began to notice that there are also several items, mostly food, that are identical with my world and seemed out of place in here. One example of that is the ice cream. There are also cotton candies, cakes, and even pop corns, where in fact, I still haven’t seen a single corn in this world.

Either way, I’m now enjoying my day out with Ceres, which is actually her punishment. Today is also a day off at the restaurant so I pestered Anya to lend me Ceres for the whole day. Well, I think she already realized my intention she let us go, with the only condition of going back home before dinner.

Looking at her once again, she’s not wearing her usual attire. She’s wearing a pale blue, one-piece dress with long sleeves. On top of that, she also wears a coffee-colored, thick cardigan that reaches down only to her waist. Perhaps because it’s getting colder, she’s wearing a lot more cloth today. Her boots reaches a few inches above her ankles and is wearing a black stockings. Her hair is tied into a braid, letting it down on her right side. But the moon hair clip is still there, fixing her right bangs behind her ear.

H: “I told you, this is your punishment, so you don’t have a say in this.”

C: “But I feel like I’m just enjoying the day”

H: “”

It has now sunk in that Ceres has gotten really meek. All different from the first time I met her. No The more proper explanation is like, she became a whole different person. But disregarding the fact that she experienced a lot of hell when she was a child, I guess this is the real Ceres and just regained her past self. It’s not like I didn’t like the Ceres from when I first met her, but I feel calm when she’s like this.

H: “And, Ceres.”

C: “Hm?”

H: “You look good in your attire today.”

C: “!? Ah Th-Thank you”

Though, now that I’ve noticed the things I’ve seen here, I really feel a lot of nostalgia here in this world. There’s no way I’ve been here so I feel a bit complicated about it.

On the other hand, even though today is a day off, or the usual weekend, there are still shops that open, so it seems. I guess it’s the same for every world to keep working hard even though it should be a rest day.

H: “Hm. It was right after the ice cream but, want to eat something for lunch?”

It’s almost the middle of the afternoon. I just ate and ice cream but for this body of mine to be satisfied, I need a proper amount of calories stuffed in my stomach.

C: “Mm. Let’s eat. I know a good place. Follow me.”

H: “Lead the way.”

We went past through the stalls and some residential houses. The houses here is almost perfectly the same as the one’s in west medieval era back in my world, with only bricks and woods to build them.

After a few minutes of walking leisurely, we ended up in front of a store named uhh How do I read this again?

Uhh Resaspato? Resaspano Restaurant?

We entered the restaurant and with a soft ring of the bell, the door behind us closed. We were looking for seats when suddenly a lively girl rushed her way towards us.

??: “Weeeeeelcome to Remaspama Restaurant!!”

C: ” Eh?”

H: “Ohh, we’re welcomed.”

So it was Remaspama I need to work on my letters

At any rate, what a good way to start a meal. But taking a quick glance at Ceres, she’s now making a strange face. Like she’s seen something she shouldn’t have.

??: ” Hm? Hmmm?”

C: ” H-Hello.”

Ceres then forced a smile.

??: “Ceres, huh Why are you here?”

Even before replying to the curt question of the woman, Ceres turned my way and pulled on my shirt.

C: “Hans, want to go somewhere else?”

H: “A-Ah I don’t mind but, isn’t she someone you know?”

I took another look at the energetic girl, who’s now wearing an annoyed expression. She has the air of someone who will enjoy a trip everywhere she goes, though it’s just my first impression. I feel like she’s the type who could not stay in a single place. She’s pretty cute though. Her face is small but her eyes are round, a perfect balance. The top of her hair is parted to ways into a twin-tail and the rest are let down, giving her wavy hair more volume. Even now she kept staring at Ceres, who’s now heaving a sigh.

Huh? Are they friends or are they actually on bad terms?

??: “My, Ceres? You just arrived and now you’re leaving already??”

C: “”

But somehow, she has the face of when she’s looking at my arm. Hm Are there some sort of history between them?

H: “Hello. Nice to meet you. I’m Hans. I work at Ceres’ restaurant as a cook.”

I placed my right hand on my chest and bowed, introducing myself. In these kinds of situation, there should be a middle man to push the flow of conversation.

??: “Eh?! You work under Ceres?? You really COULD work under her??”

H: “Y-Yes. I can. I mean, it’s not that hard to begin with”

??: “”

Now she looked at me with surprise.

C: “That’s enough, right? I won’t bother you So Hans, let’s go.”

Then Ceres, who’s face turned into a lonely one.

H-Huh? What the heck is happening? I can’t read the atmosphere at all.

??: “Wait. You two eat here. It’s on the house.”

C: “”

H: ” We’ll be taking your offer then.”

I smiled to show my sincerity at her proposal. It seems like Ceres is not that against it but she looked like she’s worried about something. Then if that’s the case, the more I should let them talk about it. I may be meddling into something that’s not my business, but seeing Ceres like this after she’s been so cute recently, I can’t just leave the matter alone.

??: “Well then, this way please.”

She posed a formal one and acted courteous befitting that of a waitress, as if her attitude earlier was just a dream.

H: “Thank you.”

C: “”

She brought us to a nearby table where no one was seating. Cleaning the left plates and glasses, she then offered us the menu.

Hmm It’s hard holding things with one hand when you’re used to holding them with both.

H: “Hoho These looks so good. And cheap on top of that.”

??: “Thank you very much. Please wait for a moment and I will bring you water.”

H: “Sure.”

The girl left with a twirl and I was left with the question in my mind. Who is she and what happened between her and Ceres?

C: “She worked before in Lunaria.”

Ceres said so with a vexed face. Her mouth is puffed and I know this is a sign of her pouting. Hmmm Now it really makes me curious.

H: “What happened then?”

C: “She quit”

H: “Quit?”

C: “Mm”

She paused for a while, and after inhaling then exhaling, perhaps calming herself down, she placed her hands on her lap.

C: “We got into a fight.”

She told me everything that happened then. It was a few days before me coming to this world.

Her name is Fianna. She works under Ceres at Lunaria Caf as a cook. She was one of the last staff members that quit during that time. It seems like they couldn’t catch up with Ceres’ pace and quit one by one, having had enough of Ceres’ attitude towards them.

Fianna was one of the veterans and really tried to get along with Ceres. But one day, she tried to change the recipe to her liking but Ceres found out about it and was scolded pretty harsh, making that the final spark to her decision to quit. She said that at that time, Ceres didn’t want anyone changing the recipe because of her respect towards the former owner, who she owes her life to. That’s why, whenever someone tried to change the recipe or failed to comply with the original recipe, she would get mad about it and snap at them.

Now I know why they are so understaffed. I also recalled one time Anya mentioned something about Ceres was the reason that’s why it turned that way.

And that’s the reason why Fianna was looking at Ceres with disdain earlier. But I don’t know. I feel like there’s something more to Fianna than what Ceres thinks.

H: “I see.”

C: “Mm I was so cruel, right? Haha”

Fi: “Heeh~ So you know that you are?”

C: “Ah”

After Ceres told her story, Fianna just came in time to serve our water. But instead of getting our orders, she sat down on one of the chairs and joined us at the table.

Fi: “All I did was comply with your instruction and when I at least tried to import some of my knowledge, you blow up. What’s with that?”

C: “”

Ceres just lowered her head and couldn’t reply. I feel like this is going to be something messy but thank goodness, it’s just us now here. When we entered there only a few costumers and now all of them have already left.

Fi: “You feel like you’re something important just because you’re the head chef. Head chef, eh? You weren’t even listening to your subordinates.”

C: “”

H: “Hmm Distressed Ceres is cute too.”

Noticing the slight contorting of her eyebrows and cheeks, it somehow tugged a string in my chest.

Fi: “Eh?”

H: “Huh?”

Fianna looked at me with surprised.

Fi: “Now that I think about it, Ceres, is this guy your boyfriend?”

C: “Boyf-!? *cough* *choke*”

Fi: “Eh? He’s not?”

C: “H-He’s not He told you earlier, h-he’s just working at our restaurant.”

Ceres then wiped her mouth with the table cloth prepared for the customers. Her cheeks are blushing and sweat have started pouring down from her forehead.

Fi: “Hey you. What kind of bribe did she give you to work there? Are you really sure you want to work under her? If you like, I can arrange you a slot here.”

Hm? Maybe she still didn’t notice that I only have one arm, but she thinks I can still work normally.

C: “Wait, Fianna! I won’t-”

H: “I’m good. I only want to work under Ceres. There’s no other place for me other than hers.

Fi: ” H-Heeh Is that so? You’re a masochist, aren’t you?”

H: “Nope. I think I’m an S actually.”

C: “Hans??”

Ceres blushed once again from our conversation. Oh, she really is not good at dealing with this kind of conversation, huh? She can’t even say ‘sex’ properly before.

Fi: “Eh? Then how could you work under her?”

H: “How, you say I just do She does her work perfectly and she’s good at teaching too. You wouldn’t get bored teasing her and from now then, she’ll show a smile that will catch you off guard, making you just want to stare at her all day.”

Fi: “Wha?”

C: “Hans! S-Stop it!”

Ceres covered her face with her hands. And I won’t stop. It’s the truth anyways.

Fi: “Aha~ I see. Now, I get it.”

H: “Hm? What is?”

Fi: “Nothing. Just that, even though Ceres was known to be a devil cook, she’s still a maiden inside.”

Devil cook What the heck?

C: “F-Fianna!”

Fi: “But Well, I’m kind of relieved.”

C: “Eh?”

In contrast to how she’s been acting up until now, Fianna’s expression relaxes and stared at Ceres with a smile.

Fi: “I thought, you’ll stay like that forever. But I see, this guy changed you, huh?”

C: “What do you mean?”

Fi: “I think you’re misunderstanding but, I don’t really hate you. It’s just you being stiff.”

C: “Uu”

Fi: “But then again, now that I see that you’ve soften, I’m somehow relieved. Anya came to me after that day, you see.”

Fianna waved her hand at the person at the kitchen who looks like the cook of this restaurant and smiled. She then faced Ceres again.

Fi: “She apologized. But Well. Sure, I was irritated and snapped, but I didn’t really think that I could hate you just because of that. I enjoyed your cooking too.”

C: “Fianna”

Fi: “Well, it’s a thing of the past now.”

Fianna stood up from her seat and brought out her note for taking orders.

C: “”

We told her our orders and after a short while, Fianna came with them in tow. Ceres was silent the whole time we eat and I don’t think she tasted the food at all with her sour expression. But on the other hand, I really think it was delicious.

We paid our bill and went our way to the door that leads outside.

Fi: “Thank you very much. Please come again~”

Fianna bowed down and was about turn away but

C: “Fianna!”

Ceres stopped Fianna by calling out to her.

Fi: “Hm?”

She turned our way and looked at Ceres with a smile. I don’t know what kind of smile that is, but one thing I know that it’s not something bad.

C: “I’m sorry.”

Fi: ” *sigh* Took you long enough.”

C: “Mm Say-”

Fi: “Nope. I won’t go back.”

C: “”

Ceres showed a pain stricken expression from Fianna’s quick reply.

Fi: “Also I’ve taken a liking to this place too. I mean, I’m already getting married to my chef there.”

Saying that, Fianna showed her hand with a right fit on her ring finger. It reflected the light from the afternoon sun and glimmered.

C: “I see. That’s too bad, then. But then again Congratulations.”

Ceres made a lonely expression but is replaced with a smile soon after.

Fi: “Hehe. Thank you. You should do your best too, you know.”

C: “!?”

Fi: “If you take your time, someone will take him away. Haha~”

C: “Fianna! Geez!”

And with that last mischievous laugh, she left Ceres and me staring off at her figure returning to the kitchen.

 

..

.

It’s now evening and the twin moons have already replaced the sun in the sky. Even though it’s dark outside, it’s still not yet time for dinner so I’m still safe from Anya’s wrath for the time being. Fall is almost here being the case, the night grew longer and the days shorter. Though, it’s just a little bit, my breathe has now started to fog white.

It’s the same in my world.

Thinking about it like that, I wonder how cold is winter here?

H: “Did you enjoy the day?”

C: “”

Ceres didn’t reply. Well, I know why though. This day shouldn’t be something she have to enjoy, since this day should be a punishment for her.

C: “Hans Why do you keep being so nice to me?”

H: “We’re coming back to that again? I already told you why, right?”

Back in our travel when Ceres told me her past, I already explained why I do so. Even back then, she still can’t just simply go ‘I see, so that’s it.’ after what I said.

C: “”

She just hanged her head down while walking. I can’t see her face because of her hair and the dark surroundings.

We are on our way back. We pass along the streets, illuminated by lamps that are swarmed by small insects. I’ve once wondered why they are so caught up with wanting to gather where a light is placed. It seemed idiotic to me at first, but

I realized I was doing the same.

When I saw her bright smile, I couldn’t help but be drawn to her ever since.

H: “Say, Ceres”

C: “Hm?”

Hearing me call her name, she looked up to me. I just stared at the distance while I placed my right hand on my pocket.

It really is getting cold.

H: “You see, even before coming here, I became an orphan at a young age. Just like you.”

C: “Eh?”

Ceres seemed surprised, but I carry on.

H: “Well, I was not young as you were but, both my parents died when I was a child.”

C: “”

H: “My father joined the war and never came back, then my mother got bedridden because of overwork. Then she followed my father just months after his death.”

I still remember her words as if I just heard them yesterday.

[“I am sorry, dear. This is something inevitable. Getting separated with your father was the last string to be cut off.”]

I still don’t understand the meaning behind those words. If I did, just how better would I have felt then.

She died giving me a pendant which I don’t even know where she got it. Though it’s gone now since I left it in my stuff back in my world.

H: “I was also trained in the battlefield at a young age. Also experienced hell, just like you. Well, yours is still far worse than mine, though.”

C: “That’s”

H: “It was something I thought was normal. ‘I’m all by myself, so I have to walk on my own two feet. If I don’t I’ll die. If I don’t move, I’ll be killed. If I don’t try to survive, I won’t be able live.’”

C: “I see. Just like me then.”

H: “Yeah. Just like you. That’s why”

I paused for a while, trying to recollect my thoughts.

H: “Perhaps I saw myself in you and I just can’t leave you alone.”

C: “”

Ceres once again hanged her head. But this time, she placed her hand on her chest and clutched it.

H: “Ceres?”

C: “Well, I somehow knew it Haha”

H: “?”

Raising her head, I saw the loneliest expression she had ever done ever since the day I met her. Looking back, I felt like it’s been so long, yet so short. It’s like yesterday, yet I feel like I’ve known her for years already.

C: “You’re unfair Hans”

H: “”

Unfair

Why am I unfair?

No Don’t lie, Hans. I know that I know why I am. Why I am unfair to her just now. Why she is clutching her chest harder than she did earlier. Why she has a face of loneliness. Why she is about to cry any moment now.

I know. Somewhere deep within my mind.

She wanted something, but I told her something that went against that.

C: “Say, Hans While we’re walking like this, do you think we look like a couple?”

H: “”

Do we? A young man and a young woman, walking alongside each other during the night. And on top of that, it was after a date. I’m pretty sure, this can be one of the most stable events in a couple’s episodes. I’ve seen a lot of those in my books.

H: ” Maybe we do.”

C: “I see. We do, right?”

H: “”

She forced a smile. Even I know it’s forced. I can’t feel the same feeling welling up inside me from her usual smile. Or rather, I feel pained because of it.

But

What is Ceres to me?

She’s someone important, that is for sure. Do I want to be with her? Yeah, I want to be with her always. Am I enjoying my time with her? Of course, I do. I wouldn’t invite her to a date if I don’t.

I like her black hair. It looks so soft to the touch. Well I did touch it once and I’m drawn to it that instant. I like her green eyes. They may seem harp at first glance, but they are gentle when you look at her carefully. I like her pinkish lips. I sometimes find myself just staring at them. I like her fingers. Even though she works all the time, they felt so soft when I held her hand, as if she doesn’t know how to use them at all.

I like her.

Yeah

But

If you ask me if I if I love her

H: “Ceres, I-”

C: “It’s okay.”

H: “Eh?”

I was trying to call out to her. I wanted to tell her something. But she told me it was okay and it was blown off in an instant. But I think it was a good thing. If she didn’t stop me there, I feel like I’ll just hurt her more than I am doing right now

C: “It’s okay, Hans You don’t have to say anything. I can somehow tell already. Haha”

H: “Ceres”

I could only stare at her flash her loneliest smile. A forced one, to top it off. And seeing it just pains me.

Our feet have long stopped from moving forward.

C: “Aaahh Since when did I became this girly, I wonder? Haha I never thought I would have this kind of conversation with you. I mean, like when we first me. *giggle*”

H: ” Yeah.”

Why are you treating it like it’s nothing? Even I know you’re hurting

Right, because of me.

C: “Geez What’s with that face?”

H: “What kind of face am I having right now?”

I placed my hand on my cheeks, unconsciously.

C: “Hmm”

Staring at my face, she held out her hand and touched mine, which is still on my cheeks. I felt her cold touch to my skin. It was somehow refreshing and cool. But, it was flushed because of the cold and

H: “”

She’s trembling.

C: ” Well, at least it’s not the face of someone who just rejected a girl. It looks like you’re the one who was rejected. Ahaha.”

But her face is keeping that forced smile even now.

H: ” Haha Maybe so.”

Yeah. I did reject her now, didn’t I? It’s not direct. It was not relayed in words. I didn’t say anything, but I just did that, didn’t I?

I know her feelings. I realized it. I’m not some dumb idiot who’s dense to a person’s feelings. But

I’m new to this. Well, I know what love is. I know the word. I always encounter it when I read my books. And even in some of my games, as a child.

But the feeling itself I don’t know. Do I love Ceres? Is this feeling of wanting to be with her enough to call it love?

Call me wishy-washy or a wuss, because yeah, I know I am. I’m being a coward right now. I’m being a total chicken. Not facing Ceres’ feeling straightforward.

I may be just taking advantage of her feelings towards me right now.

However,

I can’t just say, ‘I see, okay let’s go out.” with this kind of sentiment. I’ll be one heck of a bastard if I accept her feelings when I myself don’t understand mine. I may as well cut my other arm to atone. No, I may as well disappear.

I don’t want to hurt Ceres.

H: “Ceres”

But Haha I guess, that’s what I’m doing now, aren’t I?

H: ” Sorry.”

C: “Eh? H-Haha. Why are you *inhale* apologizing? Haha H-Hans is so weird. H-Huh?”

Hearing her flustered voice, I faced her direction but I never thought I would literally hate myself, no I would loathe myself because of it.

Tears began to trickle down from her eyes, down to her cheeks. The smile is now gone, and is replaced by a slight frown. Though she’s trying her best to maintain that smile, she’s failing to do so.

C: “Why *sniffle* are you even apologizing? *sob* I-It’s not like *hic* you did something wrong, right? *sniffle*”

She tried wiping the tears away, but they were just replace by the following tear. She can’t speak more naturally now, and her voice is trembling all the while. Her words are caught between her sobs and now she’s not even looking up. Just wiping her tears and trying to stifle her cry as much as possible.

I want to do something. But who am I kidding? I’m the cause of those tears.

C: “*sniffle* H-Haha You don’t have to apologize. I mean”

H: “”

She stopped at some point after a while. But her tears aren’t stopping still.

C: “It’s not like, something have started already, right? *sniffle*”

H: “?”

C: “Don’t worry about it. *inhale* *exhale*”

Ceres then closed her eyes and fixed her breathing. It really hurts seeing her like this.

C: “I’m okay.”

H: “You sure?”

I know that’s the not the perfect words at that point, but it came out nonetheless.

*sigh* I feel so pathetic.

C: “I know Hans is kind. You’re trying to consider my feelings along with yours, right?”

H: “”

C: “That’s why I’ll be waiting.”

H: “!”

And now, a smile. The lonely smile earlier seemed like a lie. It’s not forced anymore. And it’s the smile I wanted to see the most.

But I really have come to hate myself for thinking that.

C: “I know I’m not the perfect person to feel like this. It doesn’t suit me, and I even did things that you could hate me for.”

Maybe she remembered everything that has happened up until now. Reminding me also of what Fianna and she talked about this afternoon. She’s really changed.

H: “I don’t hate you at all. And I didn’t think that at all.”

C: “*sigh* Are you trying to kill me of heartache?”

H: “”

C: “Slime.”

She then looked at me with a resigned expression, half closing her eyes.

H: “EH?!”

I’m back to slime again after telling her what I really feel?? What’s up with that??

C: “I’m just kidding. *giggle*”

H: ” Hm.”

My lips curled up into a smile.

H: “Ceres really is strong, huh?”

We continued to walk our way. Side by side. But this time, much closer than before. I can feel her shoulder almost touching my arm.

C: “Of course I am. Do you think I would survive my past if I’m not?”

H: “Makes sense.”

C: “Yup.”

We passed through every lamp post with some flickering on and off. The night breeze is a lot colder than it did when I first came here. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been here for a long time now.

We walked, and walked, and walked. Without exchanging anymore words after that. But the silence didn’t feel bad at all. It felt comfortable at the very least. I somehow felt that she’s really there beside me.

After all that happened, just knowing that Ceres is beside me, calms me the best.

I don’t know what will happen to me, or to us from now on, or where our relationship will go from here. But I know for sure that I will be happy as long as I know that Ceres is here beside me.

C: “Hans.”

H: “Hm?”

Without a moment to spare, she leaped and stood in front of me. And in an instant

*kiss*

C: ” Mmh.”

I felt a light touch on my lips. It’s soft and at the same time, warm. I’ve already felt the sensation before, but it’s way different now that she’s the one who did it.

C: ” Fuu Just saying, it’s not a kiss of gratitude.”

H: ” It’s in the lips after all.”

I was caught off guard and she kissed me on the lips.

C: “Yup.”

And I began to think that Ceres is also unfair.

 

..

.

Chapter 29

 

 

 

Mana Points: 9,999,999,999/9,999,999,999

Name: Hans Alius Schmidt

Race: Human

Class: None

 

[Title/s]

Contracted One, Black Sheep, Mana Specialist, Witch’s Prince

 

[Status]

Strength: 912

<206(+206)(+500)/9999>

Agility: 164

<82(+82)/9999>

Intelligence: 3996

<498(+498)(+500)(+500)(+2000)/9999>

Defense: 30

<15(+15)/9999>

 

[Skills]

 

Mana Detect Lv. 10/10

Crush Strike Lv. 10/10

Beast Soul Activation Lv. 1/1

Mana Burst Lv. 8/10

Telepathy Lv. 1/1

Mana Transfer Lv. 4/10

Mana Drain Lv. 5/10

Clad Armis Lv. 1/5

 

 

Status Lv. 1/1

Harden Lv. 8/10

Damage Resistance Lv. 8/10

Beast Soul Link Lv. 1/1

Mana Manipulation Lv. 7/10

Mana Absorption Lv. 1/1

Magic Affinity Lv. 1/10

Magic Resistance Lv. 1/10

Dastre Affinity Lv. 1/10

Dastre Resistance Lv. 1/10

Fiara Affinity Lv. 1/10

Fiara Resistance Lv. 1/10

 

[Crystal Points: 469]

 

[Name]: Hans Alius Schmidt

[Class]: None

[Sex]: Male

[Level]: 100

[Race]: Human

[Rank]: F

 

[Title]

Black Sheep

 

[Skills]

[Active Skill]

 

 

[Passive Skills]

 

[Quest/s]

(None)

 

[Party Members/Raid Members]

(None)