Even If It’s Not Love - Chapter 44.1

The ensuing rain had been falling since last night. Yoo-hwa couldn’t sleep the whole night because of the noisy sound of the rain. It was only at dawn that she fell asleep as if she had collapsed, and at some point, she woke up startled.

She was frightened by what had happened a few days ago. Because of that, even if she wanted to turn off the lights and pretend she wasn’t, she kept turning on the lights when the dark silence filled the room because she was terrified; and eventually, she left the incandescent lamp on all day from the afternoon. It had been going on for a few days.

“Cough, cough.”

Yoo-hwa, who was dry-coughing, rolled her body to the side. It seemed that she had a cold, as she had been feverish since last night and her body was cold with chills. She thought about the place where she put the cold medicine she bought a long time ago, but her body didn’t move.

The rain was leaking, and the ceiling and walls were getting more and more stained. She thought that if it continued to rain like this, rainwater would e down the wall in a month. Mold was a bigger problem than leaking rain. No matter how much she ventilated, mold would appear some time after the rain stopped…

Yoo-hwa slowly closed her eyes, deliberately holding on to her senseless thoughts. The rain stopped for a moment.

In the middle of breath-taking silence, snap.

Something inside her was cut off.

It was something that she had been holding on to for so long that she was afraid that maybe it wouldn’t be cut off eternally.

Lingering attachment, regret, sadness. After something that she didn’t know whether it was the bination of all those emotions was cut off, frighteningly, she didn’t feel anything.

Then, as soon as she opened her eyes today, she realized that he didn’t think of Woo-hyun. She was just worried about the rain and the house, as she did before she met Woo-hyun again.

Yoo-hwa laughed faintly in the tomb-like room. There was no more crying at the end of the laugh.

Yoo-hwa realized that she had finally had a plete parting.

Naturally, as the night goes and the morning es.

***

After a few more days of suffering, she shook off the cold pletely. Her body and mind were relieved. At the same time, everything felt far from reality. She even felt strange as if she was in the middle of a drama set.

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As usual, Yoo-hwa shook the locked wooden door before washing up. Only after checking that it was definitely locked did Yoo-hwa wash her face in cold water and wash her hair. She naturally frowned at the pain that seemed like her head was splitting. After roughly wiping her hair with a towel, she dried it with a hair dryer with warm air. After drying it for a long time, the throbbing pain disappeared.

It was yesterday afternoon when she was contacted for an interview for a small shopping mall pany.

– Can you e for an interview tomorrow?

It was a resume that she had put in on impulse a long time ago, and she had just gotten a call. They told her the previous worker quit and that they contacted her after seeing her resume, which had e in before. According to the employee, who was speaking formally, the job was for packing parcels with the other employees. When she listened to the explanation, it seemed like she didn’t need to interact closely with many people.

Moreover, with Yi-woon gone, the letters wouldn’t e anymore even if she worked, so she had a faint hope that she could work for a long time.

Then, her heart would also naturally heal. She thought that, after ing a long way, she might reach the normal life she was desperately hoping for. Then, the empty question, ‘What use will it be?’ crossed her mind sharply, but she pretended not to notice.

While getting ready for the interview, she slowed down and came back. She took the clothes to wear to an interview, but she was worried she would look awkward if she went empty-handed, so she had a hard time with the few bags she had. In the end, she picked up the cleanest bag among the similar bags.

She put her wallet, with her new identification card, and mobile phone inside and it was done. It was eight o’clock in the morning when she finished getting ready.

She intended to leave two hours before the interview, so she had one hour left. When she was ready to go out, Yoo-hwa belatedly realized that she had not eaten while she was looking around for things to do.

Thinking that she could leave after eating and doing the dishes, Yoo-hwa stopped walking as she was walking towards the kitchen. The first thing she saw was the cup ramyeon in the sink.

“This ramyeon is my favorite.”

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He said he liked this while sitting on the cold, windy steps. She couldn’t tell if it was true, or if it was something he said just to talk to her. Woo-hyun ate well, so she enjoyed eating too. And now she couldn’t eat it even after buying it.

Whether the memories had weight or not, the ramyeon that was filled with memories seemed heavy. She stood in front of the ramyeon that had been thrown around the floor.

Throw it away, or eat it.

Yoo-hwa, who had been thinking, peeled off the plastic of the cup ramyeon and boiled the water with a movement that was slower than ever. Yoo-hwa was sitting in the room after boiling the water and pouring it on the cup ramyeon, and started eating it when three minutes had passed. She ate hurriedly like a hungry person. She even drank all the broth without even knowing what it tasted like.

After throwing away the cup ramyeon and brushing her teeth, Yoo-hwa sat on the doorsill. It had been a long time since morning came, but the window was still dark due to the cloudy weather. Her gaze, which had been lingering around the window for a while, turned to the floor with indifference.