Falling In Love - Chapter 181
Ford.
I walk out of the room, already thinking about what I will say to her. I don’t have anything to say to her—I still think she is a selfish bitch.
“No negative thoughts Ford,” I remind myself because if I go out there with those kinds of thoughts, I wouldn’t get closure from her. I see her in the living room, she is seated in an awkward position. There was a time when Lisa didn’t need someone to let her in. she belonged in this house more than I did and I lived here. She was always part of the family, my best friend and now she is just a stranger. I take a deep breath because I don’t know how this will true out.
I don’t know if she actually came here to apologize.
I don’t know why she is here but I want to be optimistic. I want to believe that there is still some good left in her. That she is still the same person I knew and loved. I have moved on from a lot of things in the past but the problems we had are still there.
“Hey,” she stands up from the couch immediately she notices me. I walk further into the room, unsure of what to say.
“Hey.”
Her eyes remain fixed on me as she takes a step forward. I don’t know what she is doing but this is awkward already and she hasn’t even said anything. Before I even know what is happening, her hands are around my neck and she is hugging me “I am so glad you are okay,” she mutters.
This confuses me.
Isn’t she a year too late? I don’t know what she is pulling but I know she is pulling something right now. I haven’t spoken to her since I got out of the hospital a year ago and this was my choice. I just wanted space from anything that could make me fall back and it worked. Now that she is here, I don’t mind rehashing things. I think I am ready mentally for whatever this conversation is.
“Why are you here Lisa?” I ask her.
Slowly, she pulls away from me “I have missed you so much, Brad. Ever since Lance came into your life, you forgot the people that were there for you since the beginning.”
She is blaming Lance for the way I have treated her when we both know that this is all her fault. She manipulated me and blackmailed me. She wasn’t a friend and she wants to pin this on Lance “Is this why you are here? To blame Lance?”
She shakes her head immediately “No, I came to talk to you. We need to make things right.”
The start of this conversation isn’t going well. I need to get an apology from her and it seems like that is not happening “I didn’t do anything to you, Lisa, I don’t have anything to say to you, so if you do, I suggest you get on with it.”
I don’t want to be angry at the beginning of our conversation but it already leaning towards that direction,
“You broke my heart, Brad. You knew how I felt about you and you crushed my heart to pieces.” She cries. I almost believe her but there is no way she loved me. All I got from her was hate and then more hate.
She never for once acted as if she loved me.
“I didn’t love you. Why do want me to do exactly what you want? I am not living my life for you.”
She sighs “You didn’t know what you wanted. You still don’t.”
I thought she came here to make amends but she is still sticking to the same idealogy that she always had. She doesn’t want to see that me and Lance have been in love for more than a year. That everyone knows and already accepts it. she doesn’t want to accept that I will never be with her, that I will never love her the way she wants.
She is just here to stir trouble. Nothing about this conversation will give me closure. I don’t even want to make things right with her. I just want to let her go completely because there is no point. “Lisa, I need you to leave,” I tell her coldly because that is the only way she will listen to me. if I am completely detached from her and it seems like that is what is happening.
She shakes her head, her eyes wide in disbelief “You can’t be serious right now Brad. I am here, I am willing to let the past go. Just try and see things from my side.”
I used to think that I was the delusional one in our pair but it seems like that is all her. She is crazy to think I am the one that needs forgiving. She did so much to me and Lance. Things that I don’t even want to think about and she is here, telling me shit.
“Get out of my house Lisa. I don’t ever want to see you again,” I take a step away from her and she grabs my arm a little too roughly.
“You will regret this Brad. I will watch you suffer and I will remind you of this day.” Her voice echoes in the room. This is far from the closure that I wanted. In my mind, I thought this visit would end with us hugging and forgiving each other but it just feels like de ja vu, a reminder that not all battles will be won.
Lisa leaves and I close my eyes, watching the space she occupied a couple of minutes ago. I sit in the living room for a couple of minutes until footsteps get me out of my daze. I see Lance and a faint smile sprawls to my face. The only person that matters to me walks closer until he is in front of me.
“I take it, that didn’t go well?”
I sigh.
It went far from well.
“She is still a bitch.”
He laughs and somehow his infectious laugh comes to me “I thought she was here to make things right but I was wrong.”
“You did what you had to do. You have tried your best.”
I shake my head “Why is this so hard,” I run my hands through my hair and he reaches for me.
“You did the right thing. It is not your job to accept the way she sees things. I want you to let it go and move on.”
I have already made up my mind. Lisa is basically dead to me and nothing will change that. It’s not the end of the world. We walk back into my room and he holds me tight. He knows this is hard for me. Lance is the only one that understands me.
I guess this is one of those you lose in some situations.
Dinner starts and everyone is happy and all smiles, as I look around the table, I see the people that matter to me. My family. There was a time in my life when I thought I would always be alone. I pushed everyone away from me but now, the people in this room are everything.
They have saved me in so many ways and I will always be grateful to them.
Life can’t get any better than this.
Or maybe it can.