Falling In Love - Chapter 219

Trick

I walk into the front door and I see him on the small chair by the door. He looks up immediately he sees me and I smile at him, even though I can tell that something is wrong.

“Hey, I stretch my hand out and he takes it in his. I pull him closer to me and he rests his face in the crook of my neck “How was your day?” I ask him.

His grip on my hand tightens and I can tell my question makes him think about his day. “Okay” he says and I can tell he is lying, so I tighten my grip on him just a bit more. I look into his eyes and I can tell that he is trying to tell me something.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

He shakes his head and I see that he is fighting back tears. jack is not emotional, he has control of his feelings–most times but recently, it feels like he is trying so hard. I don’t know what is going on.

“Something happened and I need to tell you,” he mutters still in my arms.

I move him away from me so I can look at him full in the face. “Jack, what happened?” I ask him. He closes his eyes and I can tell that this is really hard for him. I don’t like that he is finding it hard to tell me something. I mean, we are supposed to be able to talk to each other about anything but it seems like he is scared of talking to me.

I don’t want that.

“Jack, please….”

He looks at me and I can see that he is trying to stop his tears “Promise me you won’t be upset,” he tells me.

I furrow my brows because he is just confusing me now “I won’t get upset, I promise.” I tell him because I need him to know that he shouldn’t be afraid to talk to me. I know this is happening because of that kiss and everything that happened with it. He is still walking on eggshells around me.

“He called me today,”

I know who he is talking about. like I said, this has to do with the kiss. We are back to the kiss again.

“Why? what did he want?” I ask him.

He closes his eyes for a second “I don’t know, I didn’t give him the chance to say anything. I didn’t want to upset you.” he breathes out.

I know what this is.

This is all my fault.

I have made my partner weak.

I somehow messed with how good we were.

He is crying right now because of a call. something so insignificant but because of me, I made it something big.

“Jack, look at me,” I tell him. He doesn’t and I grab his chin and force him to look at me. I can see the tears in his eyes and the pain written on his face. I hate that I am doing this to him. “I am sorry,” I tell him, looking at the ground because I know what this is my fault. I didn’t mean to do this. I didn’t mean to ruin our relationship this much. “I am sorry,” I tell him again, looking in his eyes. “I am sorry,” I say again and I can’t take it anymore. I need to apologize for being such a terrible boyfriend.

“I don’t understand,” he manages probably confused.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. You can take his call; you can talk to other guys. I made you weak. I made you vulnerable. I am sorry,” I tell him and I just can’t take it anymore, I pull him in for a hug. He cries into my shirt and I just hold him close. I am sorry.

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Once Jack finally sleeps, I leave the room and go down the stairs. I said it before, deep down. I knew that I had messed things up but I thought things were repairable–fuck, I have to fix this but I don’t know what to do.

I made a mess of things and I don’t know what to do to fix it.

It is eleven in the night; I should be asleep but I can’t with everything.

I decide to go for a walk and think about what I have done.

I don’t even know how long I walk for until I find myself in Lance’s house. I need to talk to someone and I know that it is late and this is weird but I have run out of options. I can’t leave things like this because it is only going to get worse. He is not okay; he says he is but I can tell.

Something is going on and I don’t know how to fix it.

I grab my phone from my pocket and dial his number. I see his light brighten from the window and I know I just woke him up as he answers the call.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asks immediately.

“Yeah, I just need to talk to you. Did I wake you up?” I ask him.

“No, I was awake. What is wrong?” he asks me. I know he is lying, probably so I don’t feel bad for waking him up.

“Can you come out for a sec?”

I see his shadow and I know he is coming out. “Yeah, I will be right there,” he says and ends the call.

I wait by the door and I hear footsteps approaching. The door opens and I see Lance standing in front of me in his pajamas. “What’s going on?” he asks me and I look at him. I just need someone to talk to.

“I messed things up with Jack,” I tell him and he gives me a weird look.

“How bad?” he asks me and I bite my lip. I want to tell him that I made him weak and that I ruined our relationship.

I open my mouth to say it but I can’t.

“Tell me what happened,” he tells mend I know that he is waiting for me to tell him.

I take a deep breath and I start telling him everything. “I just drove him crazy because of that fucking kiss. everything in our relationship falls back to it. I don’t know what to do.”

I am talking to him, hoping I can do better.

Be better.