Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World - Chapter 334: Florida Man Self-Proclaims as God’s Incarnation, Complains that Heaven is a Black Company, and Files a Lawsuit against God.
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- Chapter 334: Florida Man Self-Proclaims as God’s Incarnation, Complains that Heaven is a Black Company, and Files a Lawsuit against God.
?Chapter 334 – Florida Man Self-Proclaims as God’s Incarnation, Complains that Heaven is a Black Company, and Files a Lawsuit against God.
As Priscilla visited every galaxy during her trip, warlords, minor overlords, and cultivators of various races heard about Leo and his Florida Dao. As Leo was the strongest person in his galaxy, everybody called it “Florida Galaxy” to honor him.
Countless minor races were interested in Leo. They dispatched emissaries from their worlds to follow Priscilla to Florida Galaxy. Moreover, they contacted their trade partners and vessels, spreading the news of this discovery.
Soon, the words reached the ears of Lucky, who deserted from Ellen Faction. He and Milo reconciled and schemed to steal Overlord Xiaomao’s fishing rod artifact. When the news reached them, Lucky and Milo reconsidered their plan.
The two werewolves had a private meeting in the middle of the void.
Lucky had a bright idea. He suggested to Milo, “You should send scouts to check the Void Tree. If he defeated Planet Devourer as the rumor said, his troops should be there protecting the tree. But if the rumor is false, planet eaters should be lingering there.”
Milo agreed to the suggestion, but he disliked working alone. He also wanted Lucky to do something.
“While I’m leading my troops to check the tree, you should contribute something too. How about you initiate small skirmishes between our younglings and the Cathulhu’s children. We can try playing a long game and nib the bud while we’re recuperating our forces.”
Lucky frowned as he disagreed. After the war, less than 3 million fenrir werewolves survived. On the other hand, Cathulhu never participated in any major battle, and their number reached over 200 trillion. This didn’t include the unevolved children, aka the Catopus. .
They were outnumbered!
“We don’t have enough men to start another war. Without that Overlord Xiaomao’s artifact, we can’t touch the Cathulhu.”
Milo smirked as he had a sick idea, “How about we round up the deserters, pirates, bounty hunters, and remnants of Mao Miaomiao’s troops. Oh, I heard Kishin Douji is missing. If we run into Oni colonies, we can enslave them. The women can be our seedbeds to increase our number. As for the men, we make them our war slaves. How about that?”
Lucky was taken aback. Although he might be greedy, he disliked treating other races the same way Eleanor had treated them. Thus, he shut down the suggestion.
“No. You know what? Forget it. We will focus on recuperating our forces and establish an amicable relationship with Florida Man.”
“Are you submitting to that NU’EARTHE?!” Milo yelled at Lucky.
“It is what it is. I used to call Eleanor a bitch, but we eventually surrendered to her. What’s the difference between now and then?”
“…You disgust me, Milo. You sound like a bitch.”
“…Heh. Maybe I was born with the wrong gender.”
“Tsk! You know what? Screw this. I’m gonna go and check the void tree myself. If that Nu’Earthe is really that great, I’ll snatch that geezer’s fishing rod myself and rule the universe without you!”
“Good luck with that.”
“…You coward.”
Disgusted by Lucky’s change of attitude, Milo turned around and left.
After Milo was gone, Lucky deeply sighed. Without a fate crystal, he couldn’t view the status of his lifespan or use a system ability. He felt helpless and weak.
Still, Lucky was envious of Overlord Xiaomao. He also blamed Priscilla that she didn’t give him a proper true entity fate crystal.
His mind was conflicted. Half of him urged him to quit dreaming and be content with what he had. The evil side of him sought riches, power, and authority. Moreover, his hatred toward the human race and its variants never faded from his heart.
Overwhelmed by conflicted emotions, Lucky had a headache. He returned to his people and commanded them not to seek trouble. He hoped that they could find peace in this chaotic universe.
.
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In the depths of Karma River, souls floated aimlessly and rested in tranquility. The river washed away their previous life memory and cleansed their souls. Those who stayed the longest were washed clean and were chosen to start a new life in a random place.
Although Karma River erased dead people’s memories, the souls of cultivators, monsters, and strong overlords sometimes resisted the river’s effects. Karmic sovereigns were immune to this effect and could freely reincarnate anywhere they wanted to as long as a fragment of their soul existed.
During the last war between Planet Devourer and Priscilla Alliance, most of the elves were killed by planet eaters. When the planet eaters died, the consumed souls were freed and returned to the karma river.
Among the dead people, cultivators from the Yan Empire who had been abducted by Milo got caught in the crossfire. They entered the circle of reincarnation as well.
Amid systematic circulation, several soul fragments of planet eaters merged with the soul embryos of human souls. The planet eater consumed the human’s soul and took over his place.
One of them belonged to the soul of a mortal. He was once a young master of the Ouyang Clan. Another one was once an expert from the Situ Clan. Several others copied the memories of dead angels, elves, werewolves, goblins, orcs, and other races.
The planet eaters consumed the human souls and stole their memories. When they regained their souls, they quickly escaped from the karma rivers. As soon as they escaped, they recreated their new fleshly bodies.
Some relied on the new memories to regenerate the fleshly body of that race. Meanwhile, a few lucky ones restored their former bodies. One after another, new planet eaters were reborn!
The reincarnated planet eaters were not as smart as Planet Devourer. They began wandering in the universe, following their instinct. All of them moved in packs.
One of the packs traveled toward the direction of the Cathulhu Galaxy.
.
.
After the long movie, Leo yawned and left the cinema. Esen also rubbed her eyes as she wasn’t used to watching a movie.
She complained, “It would have been more fun if I could read the protagonist’s karma and predict his future. He sure was unlucky. I was surprised when the main character died in the first 3 minutes.”
Leo shrugged, “That’s the entertaining part of movies. You can’t interfere with their fate, and you can only observe them.”
“It’s annoying.”
“I know. But didn’t you shriek when an Arachne jump-scared the protagonist and snapped his neck?”
“I-I didn’t expect that development! I thought there was only one entity in that house!”
Esen pouted, but she grinned. The movie was fun.
As the couple was about to continue their date elsewhere, Leo suddenly sensed a strange flow of karma in the universe. He closed his left eye to spy on the universe trend.
Sounds of billion souls being swallowed and eaten by planet eaters entered his mind. Their desperation, anger, and other negative emotions reached him.
Leo staggered backward one step. His left eye bled and shed a bloody tear. But from the onlooker’s perspective, it looked like Leo was crying because his blood and tears had the same color.
Esen noticed that Leo suddenly stopped. She turned around and saw the trail of transparent blood on Leo’s face.
“What’s wrong?”
Leo deeply inhaled and patted Esen’s head.
“There’s a group of runaway prisoners. I think I might need to reinforce this universe’s karma rivers a bit. There has been an overpopulation issue recently.”
Being a supreme emperor of this universe wasn’t an easy job. Sometimes, the will of the Karma Rivers or the universe begged him for help. Many times, they showed the tragic events and let Leo feel the victims’ emotions to motivate him.
This was the downside of carrying the same bloodline as the void tree. As the source of all Qi, luck, and fate, everything in the universe was linked to his entity.
In short, being a god was annoying.
“Your cultivation base already surpasses the limit of the universe. Does the universe still force you to help it?”
Esen was aware of Leo’s duty as the Time Emperor. He often stopped time and disappeared somewhere without telling her. When he returned, his expressions and actions looked like someone who had been gone for several years.
“… I saw our timeline’s future. It’s not pleasant. I’m gonna need to alter it a bit.”
“I see. How long will you be gone?”
“Not long. Probably five or six minutes in your time.”
Esen bitterly smiled, “But from your perspective, it’s going to be five or six thousand years, isn’t it.”
“Yeah. Restoring and expanding karma rivers take time.”
Esen stroked Leo’s face and kissed him. Both closed their eyes and savored their touches.
When their lips parted, Esen wished him well.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Leo smiled, “I’ll be right back.”
CLICK!
Esen could only hear a tick of a clock. Leo who was with her a second ago vanished into smoke.
The wife deeply exhaled. She turned around and pondered in her mind.
‘I guess I’ll need a new sexy lingerie. He was always desperate for a hug when he returned.’
To support her husband’s mental health, Esen visited the clothing stores to pick some cosplay clothes and lingerie.
.
.
While the time in the universe was frozen, Leo teleported and appeared in the middle of the universe.
The Prismatic Void Tree was still healthy. However, about a few lightyears away, a pack of planet eaters were approaching. Fortunately, the absolute time emperor domain stopped their movements.
Leo grumbled and glared at the planet eaters.
“I guess Priscilla wasn’t thorough with her job. How could she leave these mongrels around?”
Just by looking, Leo could see several billion souls inside each of them. These planet eaters had just swallowed a few planets, and they were about to come after the prismatic void tree.
Not allowing the planet eaters to eat his daughters, Leo waved his hand.
Instantly, the planet eaters’ souls were erased from the universe. They would not be reincarnated again.
After removing the planet eaters, Leo closed his eyes and peeked into future timelines. Then, he saw the destruction of Cathulhu. Moreover, he detected countless newborn planet eaters and potential neutron stars, which were about to evolve into planet eaters too.
“Tsk. This is going to be a hassle.”
Leo jotted down his task.
“Expand Karma Rivers, increase Karma Rivers, optimize the reincarnation process, kill all mother-humping planet eaters, destroy those mutating magnetars, and… fuck, reorganize the entire universe and galaxy’s path! Five galaxies are going to collide because of that stupid mutt! Who was it? Milo? That fucking moron is still alive?!”
Leo scratched his head until it got messy. He sometimes wished he should have just destroyed the entire universe and ended this responsibility.
In the end, Leo returned to work. He located wandering planet eaters and erased them manually. It would take him a few thousand years to finish all tasks.