Flying Sparks - 7 06

Darkness soon enveloped me once again. Nightmares came about once again. This time, it felt so real.

My parents hugged me and told me they loved me. The hug felt so warm that I could feel it. This is what love is isn’t it? But then, everything was sucked into a black hole. Everything I treasured, everything I loved, all gone in an instant. The next thing I saw was my parents, sewn together with a spider body. My whole entire body shivered as I saw it. The creature called me names.

“You useless filth! You killed both of us! You shouldn’t be allowed to live!” Tears came dripping down one by one, staining my porcelain face.

“My dear, come with us. We will spend our lives together once again.” Mother’s voice rang out. I wiped my tears and saw that familiar hand. My hand stretched out and held that hand. The familiar warmness flowing through me.

I allowed myself to be surrounded the darkness that wrapped me. The familiar presence of my parents was there. Everything I loved and treasured was there. Nothing could go wrong right? But no, everything was melting. It was like wax, slowly melting.

“Papa! Mama! Please don’t go!” I cried out. Tears came in full force, streaming down my face like a river. The monster let out a hideous scream but I could hear my parents.

“Our dear daughter… Don’t give in…” I couldn’t make out anything else as it let out one last hideous scream, saying it will be back. Something picked me up and threw me into another black hole. The emptiness felt so nice, I wouldn’t think to move.

Being enveloped by the deep darkness, my voice not being able to scream, the feeling of being constantly pulled. It was terrifying and scary at the same time. Not being able to call out to someone, was nice. Nobody would have to care about me. Being constantly pulled back reminds me of being the outcast. I slowly closed my eyes, waiting to die of the lack of oxygen.

I opened my eyes once again to see the bright daylight. I quickly covered my eyes with my pillow and rolled around. I got into a ball position and grabbed the box cutter that was on my bedside table. The blade gleamed as the sunlight shone on it. I traced it gently around the older cuts before applying pressure.

Blood trickled down, little by little. My smile slowly regained as this was just repayment for killing them. The pain felt comforting as more blood came oozing out.

Papa… Mama… Sorry for being a disappointment. You wanted me to live like a happy girl don’t you? I can’t bear the guilt anymore. Everyday it feels like death. Repeating the same thing over and over again. I’m sorry…

My eyes closed as I fell into another deep sleep once again.

However, my precious sleep was disrupted by someone at the door. I looked at the clock, 4pm it showed. I slowly waddled over to the door and opened it. And Raymond happened to show up at the door. He was smiling at me, showing a worried face too. My mind finally processed what was happening and slammed the door without a second thought.

“G-get away from my house Raymond!” I shouted at the door and was replied with a simple chuckle. I could imagine his face smiling as he chuckled. Disgusting.

“But my dear! The school asked me to do a request! They asked me to pass you the work and asked how you were doing.” Thinking for a few moments, I shouted back.

“Stay there and wait 5 minutes!” I ran off before I could get a reply. I quickly brushed my teeth, did my hair and wore a sweater to hide my scars. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided that I looked presentable at least. I went back to the door and still see him standing at the door. I sighed and finally let him in.

“Sit over the couch there and I will prepare tea.” I directed him to my living room before going into the kitchen to prepare tea. The whole entire house was so silent that you could even hear a pin drop. Till he broke the silence.

“Are you feeling well my dear?” He asked as he looked around the walls of the house. All of the walls were decorated with a picture of my family and family heritage.

“I’m fine. And don’t ask about those.” He clearly got my idea and kept his mouth shut. The tea was finally finished as a brought a glass pot and cups over. I poured the tea into the cups and brought them over to my coffee table.

Surprisingly, we managed to hold a normal conversation and I managed to feel better for once. The time dlew by as it was time for dinner time and I sent him off before slamming the door once again, chanting disgusting over and over again. I could see him being fake and it was disgusting.

I took a sigh and went up to my room. I combed my fringe to the back, making it seem like I had bed hair. Just the way I liked it. In my room, there was this small room for prayer. There was a picture of a happy family and incense. I kneeled down, put my hands together and started praying.

Papa… Mama… I hope you can hear me. Why was I born with these powers…? I didn’t ask for any of this. I’m sure you wanted me to live life as a normal girl, but I’m also sure that I can’t. Everyday felt dreadful. I kept punishing myself for the sins I’ve done. I don’t deserve to live…

As the last words were said, I gently touched the frame. Tear drops appeared on the frame. I didn’t bother with the tears that were staining my eyes.

All I wanted was to have love and comfort. Just to have someone piece me back together…