Forbidden Alpha - Chapter 159

Odis

A teary-eyed Olivia turns into a swinging door. I hold a bag of hot foot and a heavily pregnant Olivia sits on the couch as she stares blankly out of the window. She’d been craving lobster but didn’t bounce up and down like she normally does. She’s spiraling and I can see it.

“I don’t want it, O. I don’t want it.”

“You don’t have to eat the lobster if you don’t want to. I’m sorry I wasn’t faster, I ran as fast as I could.”

“I don’t want the baby.”

Her words steal the breath from my lungs. If I hadn’t been holding the bag tight, it would have dropped on the floor. I put the bag on the table and walk over to her. I sat behind her on the couch and pulled her into my arms. She doesn’t look at me and I don’t speak until I trust myself to.

“You don’t mean that, Liv,” I whisper. My hands slide around her belly and I stared at her side profile.

“That’s the thing though,” Olivia murmured. She slowly turned her head until gray eyes locked me in their gaze. “I do mean it. I don’t want it, I don’t even want it in me. I don’t feel anything for it. How can I be a mother to it? I don’t want to have this child. Maybe the Moon Goddess is punishing me but I can’t do this.”

I nuzzle into her neck and my hands tremble on her belly. I wanted to make it better, wanted to make her better. The words wouldn’t form, I couldn’t fix her, I couldn’t fix this. Silent tears slid down my cheeks as I held her.

“I’ll take care of it, Liv.”

I’m desperate as my surroundings change and she vanishes into a puff of smoke. Beeping fills the room and I’m filled with nerves. A bundle of pink chunkiness is placed into my arms. Blonde hair, fat cheeks, a wrinkled forehead, and. acute little nose. I’m overwhelmed with a feeling I can’t place. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel when she gave birth to a child that wasn’t mine. We’d argued about marking each other and being chosen mates over the last month. She didn’t want to and it broke me every time she said it. Life at home had been rocky but I wanted her, I wanted us.

“His name is Paul,” she said weakly.

My vision blurred as I stared down at the baby in my hands. She named him after my father. I wasn’t ready for the warmth that filled my chest and the tears that flowed. Tears slide and drip onto the baby. I quickly wipe away the tears and pull him close to my face. It didn’t matter if we didn’t share any blood.

A boy.

He was perfect.

He was mine.

Darkness descends again but this time there is a star nightlight in the corner. Paul whimpers against my chest as I hold him. He’s a toddler, his hair is longer, and his cheeks are chubbier.

I’m exhausted from a day of work and I’m dozing off. Liv is in the room, she doesn’t come in here. She doesn’t hold him. I rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I’m hypnotized by the motion and I start to sing the song, You are my sunshine.

Everything changes again. The sun is coming up and I’m holding Paul in one hand. He was fussy this morning but I got him dressed and ready for daycare. He’s calm now that I’m carrying him but it’s a struggle getting out the door.

“Liv can you hold him for a second?” I ask as she steps out of the bathroom. She looks at me and her eyes drop to Paul. There is no spark, no emotion as she stares at him.

“No.”

“Please, Liv? I just need to get a few things in a bag.”

She shakes her head.

“I don’t want to be around him, O. When was the last time I held him? I don’t even want to see him. I can’t, I just can’t.” Pain and sadness fill my chest. I’m tired and I need him. It’s exhausting doing this on my own.

I need a break.

The noise in the bar is loud and the world is spinning. Liv presses into me and pulls me by the tie. I’m on my feet and struggling to stay upright as I follow her into the bathroom. We have a quickie in the bathroom. She pulls up her skirt and brushes her dirty blonde hair.

Wait.

Blonde hair?

I squint through the blur of the world spinning faster and faster. She turns around and looks down at me.

“Thanks, doll,” she says before she opens the door and saunters out.

No, no, no.

I’m home and Olivia sits across from me at the dining table. Her eyes are closed and she’s crying into her hands.

“I didn’t want to lie to you. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.”

“It is,” she cries. “I can’t be with you knowing you’ve been with someone else. I’m done. We’re over.”

“I love you,” I cry. The world is ending, I’m losing her. I’ve lost her. “I don’t deserve to beg you to stay. I have no right to try and hold onto you. I-I’ll talk to Ethan about you getting your own place. I’ll keep my promise, Liv. I’ll always be here for you.” I’m helpless as she cries uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking violently as the pain of my actions tunnels through her.

I’m ripped to the present as we come to a stop at the packhouse. I shift back into my human form and put on the sweats I’d discarded by the door. The elevator dinged and as I walked down the hall, I couldn’t help but glance at Gabe’s. Shaking my head, I walked on and opened my door.

Paul was curled up on the couch. His head on a cushion, his hair framed his face, his breathing shallow. He’d fallen asleep waiting for me. Seeing him is my undoing.. I fall to my knees and close my eyes as the tears fall.